


Diagnose Me

by MeelaFaye



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 108,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6851974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeelaFaye/pseuds/MeelaFaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika Kurta is a prodigy and world-renowned psychologist haunted by a tragic past. One night, he finds the body of an unconscious man lying in the road. He soon discovers that the man (Hisoka) not only can't remember who he is, but comes from violence and murder. Kurapika is going to try and save Hisoka from his demons, but who will save Kurapika from Hisoka?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lights Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **  
> _Author's Note:_  
>  **  
>  _Yeah so I'm posting this story on another site too and I decided to try expanding my range a bit. Plus I'm curious about which of the two sites work best for me._  
>  _This story is about severe mental illnesses. I am not an expert so the way I portray the illnesses may not be done as nicely as someone who works in that field. I'm in college for Sociology right now so I'm better at writing about developmental behaviors._
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> _Disclaimer:_  
>  **  
>  _I don't own any of the characters in this story. Not a single one. However, I DO own the story itself so that's something, huh?_

 

Dr. Kurapika Kurta's black dress shoes tapped the hard polished floor as he marched down the hall. His long blonde French braid bounced lightly over the small of his back while he moved. His deep blue turtleneck and pressed black slacks looked unwrinkled and crisp as if he hadn't been working for the past 9 hours. He was holding a clipboard that read his new patient's information and he had flipped over it so many times already that everything was permanently engraved into his mind.

Name: Meruem King

Age: 26

Sex: Male

Diagnosis: Severe Sociopathy- differing in sense of right and wrong from the average person.

Meruem King was the youngest of 4 siblings, each sibling only a year apart in age. Pitou, the only sister, was the oldest at 29, Pouf, the oldest brother, was 28, and Youpi, the biggest, was 27.

Although Meruem was the "baby" so to speak, he was the one calling the shots. His older siblings loved him in a dangerously dependent way. Kurapika suspected it had to do with a twisted sense of duty to protect the youngest King sibling. This gave Meruem an extreme sense of entitlement that easily went to his head. It was Meruem who turned the siblings against their mother and started them on the massive killing spree across the country. Meruem was dangerous. They all were. Which was why Kurapika was their doctor.

The young doctor stepped down the cement stairs and moved to the security desk placed in front of a shadowed metal door. The dangling florescent light hanging from the ceiling danced carelessly with his movement. It flickered as if it was threatening to blow out and leave Kurapika alone in the dark with the security guard.

The small blonde male held out his badge to show the guard he was a doctor. He did this pointless action every day for the past 3 years. He was literally the only doctor in the entire hospital qualified to work with the patients in the restricted area. It's not like there were a bunch of people going back and forth. The only ones allowed through this door were Kurapika, certain select guards, and the dean of the hospital. You'd think by now it wouldn't be necessary for him to show his ID but protocol was protocol he supposed.

The guard didn't look up from his book as he buzzed in Kurapika. The door slowly opened and as soon as Kurapika stepped inside it slammed behind him, leaving the doctor with nothing but the echo of metal ringing melodically in the dark hallway.

He was now in the restricted area of the hospital. It was the lowest floor hidden away from the other, less dangerous, levels of the hospital. Dr. Kurta knew this part of 'Infinity Mental Institution' better than he knew his own home. His specialty was usually working with the most ruthless cases. So basically… everyone in the restricted area.

Upstairs were the less severe cases. Sure the diagnoses could be the same; phobias, anxieties, anger issues, etc. But the actions resulting from those disorders were what placed you either in the upper level, with a soft bed and TV time, or here behind a thick bulletproof glass in an empty room with only a mattressless 'bed' and tin toilet. (They tried giving the high-risk patients mattresses but too many would use the seams as weapons to strangle guards who cleaned their rooms.)

Dr. Kurta's average day would be spent dealing with murders, rapists, and…

He stopped in front of Meruem King's confinement and stared through the glass at the handsome dark haired man laying casually in bed.

Cannibals.

Kurapika pressed the intercom button that allowed them to communicate before sitting down in the chair provided for him in front of the glass.

"Good evening. My name is-"

"I know who you are." Meruem said without moving. He was laying with his arms crossed behind his head and his eyes closed. "My doctor...Kurta, I believe your name is." He was wearing all white. White pants with a plain white tee. It was the same intensely glaring white as the lightly padded room the cannibal was locked in.

Kurapika briefly glanced down at his blue turtleneck and black slacks. He was glad that he never opted to wear his white lab coat. "Yes, you're correct. I'm your doctor. But you can call me Kurapika." He offered a formal smile.

Meruem turned his head just slightly to get a good look at his doctor. His eyes widened and he seemed a bit surprised. "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?" He spoke smoothly, as if completely unaware of being caged like an animal.

Kurapika's smile didn't waver. He answered the question just as smoothly. "Yes, I'm very young." He laughed lightly. "19 years old. But I assure you I'm completely qualified to help you."

Meruem whistled, impressed. "You must be if you are talking to someone like me." He said 'someone like me' with an unmistakable boost of pride, as if he were a force to be reckoned with. And he was. "I imagine you're one of the best." Because surely only the best doctors could handle him.

Kurapika pulled out his pen and wrote Meruem's name, the date, and time on a clean sheet of paper. He held the clipboard over his elegantly crossed legs. "I'm pretty good." He admitted then waved off the compliment with his hand. "What do you mean 'someone like you,'?" The blonde transitioned smoothly. "You feel like you're different?"

Meruem chuckled. "Well look where I am. I must be." He was still laying in the same position.

"You think you're here because you're different."

"Aren't I?"

Kurapika kept his face unreadable as he wrote down a quick note of how the patient may feel misunderstood. Not uncommon. Most people felt that they weren't understood. Which was probably true. After all, how much could you really know someone without walking in their shoes? Kurapika knew first hand that the most put together and successful person could also be the most broken.

A loud roar of thunder crashed outside and the lights flickered from the raging storm.

"Everyone is a little different." Kurapika spoke over the rumbling. "Even me."

Meruem turned to his side and rested his cheek on the palm of his hand. "Yeah but the difference is that you're on that side of the glass." He pointed out.

Kurapika leaned forward ever so slightly. "Why do you think that is?"

The patient shrugged. "You didn't piss off the wrong people."

"And you did?"

Meruem nodded. "I did."

"How?" Kurapika knew how. But he needed to see if Meruem could comprehend that his actions were immoral or if he would justify them. His file certainly indicated that he couldn't distinguish between right and wrong but the young doctor needed to see that for himself.

"You know how."

"I do. But I'd like to hear your side."

"My side?"

It was Kurapika's turn to nod. "Yes. Everyone has their own side."

"Everyone." Meruem moved to a sitting position and bore his eyes into Kurapika's. " _Everyone_ is different. _Everyone_ has a side." The cannibal was no longer the careless man the young doctor was talking to before. His once handsome face twisted into something in between a smile and a snarl. He looked, for the first time that day, like a killer. "Do I seem like _everyone_ to you?"

"You don't like being compared to everyone else." The doctor stated. "You want to be different."

Meruem's voice was meticulous and he spoke in a dusky whisper. "Don't characterize me." The ominous thunder rumbling above them accentuated his unspoken threat.

Kurapika's mind was running a mile a minute with theories and analyses. Meruem was allowing Kurapika to see who he really was. But the young doctor had to be careful. If he pushed his patient too far he'd close him up during future appointments. "Tell me about your mother. I read that she was pretty close to you."

Meruem was stagnant for a few moments, then he suddenly erupted in joyous laughter. His evil demeanor washed away in the unexpected sound. "You're really something, doctor." He continued laughing at Kurapika's unintended joke. "I am pretty impressed. And you're only 19? Your parents must be proud."

Kurapika winced at the mention of his parents but cleared his throat to hide the action. His patient didn't seem to notice as he kept talking.

Meruem's eyes glazed over in memory. "She did always say I was her favorite…"

Kurapika wrote a note to remind himself to pick up milk after work. He was trying to appear slightly puzzled since he knew Meruem needed to feel as if he were a complicated soul the young doctor just couldn't figure out. To his credit, Kurapika still was a little unsure about everything that went on in the cannibal's mind.

"She died though." Meruem titled his chin up in a small attempt to look at what his doctor was writing. "But it says that?"

His files did, in fact, say she died. But it was HOW she died that disturbed Kurapika. "Yes." He answered.

"Does it say how?" Meruem was sitting up straighter now, obviously excited. "Does it say how she died?"

Kurapika kept his cool, but on the inside, his heart was beginning to speed up. "Yes."

Meruem's expression twisted into something cruel and monstrous as he smiled. "It was my idea. My siblings thought it was brilliant." His voiced picked up like a child bragging about getting an A on his report card. "She tasted so sweet."

Kurapika nodded, pretending not to care about the sudden shift in mood. As if their decision to eat their mother was a perfectly logical one. "And so she was the first?"

Meruem's dark expression faded away and he looked bored. "Of many." He finished. "But they died faster." Then he looked at the doctor. He noticed Kurapika was a very attractive man. Long blonde hair to the small of his back was tied in a French braid, his skin looked soft and lovely, his brown eyes were as entrancing as chocolate.

"I'd want to savor you though, Doctor." Meruem snaked his way over to the glass and made sure to look Kurapika in the eyes as he slowly licked the surface of the glass. "Do you taste as sweet as you look."

Kurapika stood up. This session was over. Once a patient started to act out Kurapika would refuse to reward the behavior by entertaining them. The best course of action was to ignore them and come back once they've calmed down.

"I'll see you in a few days, Meruem." Kurapika lightly smiled then turned to walk away. As he was leaving he heard Mr. King whisper something about tasting the blood off Kurapika's neck.

The doctor quickly made his way back to the main floor and then collapsed against the wall. He was exhausted. He arrived at work extremely early that morning to catch up on the King siblings' paperwork and his session with Meruem lasted much longer than he expected. Thank the stars it was Friday... He really needed a relaxing weekend of baths and books to get his mind off his new patient. He certainly hoped talking to the other 3 siblings wouldn't be this much trouble. He hoped. But he knew it would mostly likely be just as stressful.

"Hey~ Pika! It's the end of the day. Why are you still here?" Doctor Leorio Paradinight lightly nudged the blonde with his shoulder. He was a tall lanky man who could be a bit of a jerk sometimes. But Kurapika kind of liked him because behind all that hard exterior was a sweetheart.

A bolt of lightning crashed and the rain pounded mercilessly against the hospital building.

"I had a new patient today." Kurapika smiled up at the doctor, attempting to appear friendly. He knew that Leo had liked him for quite a while and it made him feel a little guilty sometimes. "I guess I lost track of time." He admitted.

Leo chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like you." He paused for a moment and Kurapika knew what was coming next. The taller doctor was about to ask him out again. And Kurapika would be forced to decline…again. "Well… It's Friday night… got anything planned for this weekend? Maybe... you know…"

The blonde cringed. It's not that Kurapika wouldn't want to give the poor guy a shot, but it's just he didn't think it would be a good idea to date someone he worked with. More importantly… Kurapika had a rule about getting too close to anyone. Starting serious relationships with people was not something he did.

"Actually, I have a lot of errands to run so I should go." Kurapika quickly interrupted before Leo had a chance fully to ask him out. "Before the storm gets any worse, you know?" As if on cue, another bolt of lightning struck.

Leo was blushing. "Right, right. Well, I'll see you on Monday then!" He called, but Kurapika was already out the front door.

Heavy raindrops pelted the blonde's unguarded head as he jogged to his car. He quickly opened the door and retreated inside. His car was small and old. Although he was a great doctor, he was pretty cheap. He owned a standard car and lived in a standard house in a standard neighborhood. Everything he owned was either something he bought used or on sale. His life was not filled with excitement or fun. It was boring and every day was usually exactly like the last.

But he loved every second of his boring life. He liked not having to worry about surprises and he adored waking up to the same routine. It gave his life order and structure. But most importantly it made him feel in control.

Kurapika turned the key and the engine revved up for a few seconds before it stopped. "Come on, not now." He whined. He didn't want to ask Leo for a ride home again. Not after he practically ran away from his date invite. He tried again and this time, the car started.

Kurapika let out a triumphed laugh. He pulled out the parking lot and started driving home.

The storm had gotten worse in the 45 minutes he was driving. Kurapika had to drive extra slow in order to keep the car from gliding over the water and veering off the road. His windshield wipers were on the fastest setting and yet he still had to lean forward and squint his eyes just to see a few feet in front of him. He thought about pulling over and waiting out the storm but decided against it since his house was now just down the street.

Lightning crashed again, temporarily blinding him. Kurapika blinked a few times to regain his eyesight and when he did, he saw a lifeless form lying in the middle of the street.

Kurapika cursed and jerked the steering wheel to the side, making the car hydroplane over the water and slam into a fire hydrant.

Water sprayed all over the front of the car, mixing in with the pouring rain. Kurapika's windshield wipers were still going and the young doctor forcefully pushed the airbag down so he could undo his seatbelt.

After freeing himself, he jumped out the car and was instantly assaulted with the freezing water that poured down on his head and covered the streets. He was horrified when he noticed that the water was almost to his calves! Did the figure on the road already drown?

"Hey!" Kurapika rushed to the body. "Hey! Are you okay!?" He screamed as another bolt of lightning struck. It was dark and he almost had trouble finding the unmoving form.

"Hello?! Are you okay?" He lifted up the head and noticed that it was a man. A pretty large man. Almost twice his size actually.

Kurapika rested the man's head in his lap and tried to shield the stranger's unconscious face from the angry storm.

"Help!" The blonde screamed over the fierce crack of lightning. "Somebody help!" His voice was drowned out by the heavy rain and it was so dark that unless someone highlighted them with their car, they wouldn't be seen. "Someone please!" Kurapika screamed one last time.

Kurapika's frantic eyes darted from the lifeless man then to his home. It was about two houses down. Not far for a stroll during the day. VERY far for a small male such as himself to drag this large man in the pouring rain.

But what other choice did he have?

Kurapika stood up and cupped his hands firmly under the unmoving redhead's armpits. He grunted as he started to drag the man toward his house. The water in the road was rising and the extra friction from it pushing against them made Kurapika struggle that much more. He felt his ankle twist under the weight and he fell backwards into the dirty rainwater with a splash.

"S-shit..." He whispered as he slowly stood back to his feet. He cried out in pain when he put pressure on his twisted ankle. He knew that walking on it would only make it worse and a less foolish man would have left this, most likely dead body, in the street and hopped the rest of the way home.

But not Kurapika. Maybe it was the doctor in him. Maybe it was his determination. Or maybe it was just pure stupidity. Whatever it was, Kurapika grabbed the man again and started to drag him, crying out in pain each time he stepped on his injured ankle.

His cries blended in with the roars of the storm and the tears streaming down his face mixed in with the rain. But he didn't care. Still, he kept foolishly dragging that heavy body toward his house until eventually after what seemed like hours, he made it to his front door.

With one hand, Kurapika pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, then with one final burst of energy he dragged the man inside, closed the front door behind them, and then collapsed on the floor.

His once neat French braid had come undone and he was soaked to the bone. The small blonde doctor allowed himself to catch his breath for a few seconds. Then he got up and dragged the man in front of his fireplace.

The first thing Kurapika did once he was satisfied with the stranger's placement was to check and see if he was even alive. It'd really suck if he twisted his ankle and crashed his car for a dead body.

He felt the man's pulse. It was slow, but there.

Kurapika used his coffee table to aid himself to a standing position. He pathetically grunted as he hopped on his good foot and made his way into his bedroom. It took some serious effort but Kurapika managed to change into some dry clothes, sweats, and a white shirt, and put his soaking waist length hair into a towel.

Groaning, Kurapika sat on his soft queen sized bed and wrapped himself up in his forest green comforter as he looked at his phone. His cellphone, to his dismay, was ruined in the rain and he didn't have a house phone because… well… he never thought he'd need one with a cellphone!

Great. Now what was he supposed to do? It's not like he could get in his car and drive them to a hospital. And he certainly was not going to walk anywhere anytime soon.

Reality suddenly hit him right in his stupid risk taking face.

He just dragged some random unconscious guy into his HOUSE! That guy could have been a murderer or criminal! What was he thinking!? He of all people should know better than to put himself in pointless danger!

"Ugh!" Kurapika fell backwards on his bed and glared at the ceiling.

It would have been the smart thing to leave the guy in the road.

It would've been. But…

Kurapika knew in his heart of hearts he would never be able to do that. He couldn't live with himself if he knew he could've saved someone's life and he turned his back on them. Even if it meant putting himself at risk.

"I'm an idiot." He mumbled. Then he got out of bed and hopped all the way back into the living room.

The man was still lying quietly in front of the fireplace.

"Nice to see you made yourself at home." Kurapika said under his breath as he threw some dry wood in the holding rack and started a fire to warm up the troublesome stranger.

To make the night even worse, Kurapika discovered that the storm had knocked out all the power. No light or heat for him unless he wanted to snuggle up to Mr. Talkative here.

Nope. Not going to happen.

After the fire was started Kurapika grabbed a throw blanket from off the counter then snuggled up to himself on the couch.

The fire crackled and Kurapika jealously eyed the stranger who was lucky enough to be directly in front of their only source of warmth. "Don't get too comfortable." He warned as if the man was actually listening to him. "As soon as this storm is gone, so are you."

The small blonde snuggled deeper into his blanket, still glaring at the man. Then slowly his brown eyes closed and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> _Author's Note:_  
>  **  
>  _Reviews are welcome. I enjoy reading how my story is affecting the readers._


	2. Baby Duck Complex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _ **Author's Note:**_   _Do people do author's notes on this site? I'm not sure. I don't know Archive of Our Own etiquette yet._

Get up.

He didn't want to get up. He was incredibly comfortable right now. He didn't think he'd ever been this comfortable in his entire life. Wrapped in serene warmth, ears filled with the crackling of a nearby fire and the low rumbling of the storm.

Ahh… such wonderful sounds. They were gently lulling him back into blissful unconsciousness.

Get up.

No. He felt so secure and cozy and something told him that this was not treatment he was used to. Why would he purposely move away from the new blissfulness he was feeling at this moment?

Run.

Run… Yes, he was running. Why was he running?

Run.

Run to what? Was he chasing something?

Run _away_.

That's right. Something was chasing _him_. He remembered that now. He was running from something. Something alarming and dangerous. But what? What was he running from?

He closed his eyes tighter, forcing images of pouring rain and chilling darkness into his mind. He heard himself panting as his bare feet splashed against the wet pavement. He shuddered, feeling chills run down his spine as the sound of a snarling voice screaming something at him racked his now trembling body. What was it saying?

The words came out distorted at first, sounding more like garbled nonsense than a real word.

Then he heard it. It echoed over the memory of the storm and intertwined with the sound of thunder.

'HISOKA!'

The word caused the man's body to tense, then he arched his back in response to the aching memory of something painful hitting his head.

He cried out a broken moan, making an audible noise for the first time since he woke up. The pain throbbing in the back of his head that was earlier numbed by his unconsciousness was coming back with a vengeance.

Panic rose in his chest and his heart was beating so hard he could hear it.

He could hear his own heartbeat. Was that normal for him? He couldn't remember.

Suddenly his panic grew much more intense.

He realized that he couldn't remember anything! His name, what he looked like, who he was, WHERE he was, why he was being chased, where he came from! Nothing!

But worst of all, he couldn't remember anyone else. He searched the files of his brain for a face. Any face. The face of a stranger he might have seen on the street. Or maybe a friend he hadn't spoken to in a while. Hell, he'd even settle for the mysterious screaming man's face! But he couldn't picture anything! Every time he tried to remember what someone looked like- every time he tried to put together two eyes, a nose, and a mouth- he would get a faceless head and distorted voice instead!

He was trapped in a mass of fog and dread, unaccompanied with not even memories of other people to keep him sane.

He was alone. And the thought of being alone was more frightening than anything else in the world.

"You're awake." A voice above him began to slowly clear the fog and a single shapeless silhouette stood in the group of shadowed figures.

With his eyes still closed, he turned toward the sound, the pain in his head throbbing even more after such a simple action.

"Careful…" The voice whispered.

He thought the voice sounded nice. Not that he had much to compare it too. He couldn't even remember what his own voice sounded like.

"Yeah… you hit your head really hard. You need to go to the hospital."

At the word 'hospital' he quickly shot up from his lying position and inadvertently banged his forehead against the soothing sounding voice's head.

"Ow!" It cried out.

But the man didn't really pay attention to the other person's pain. All he knew was that he couldn't go to the hospital. Something about it screamed danger. He couldn't go and he would not allow anyone to take him there.

"Hey, hey…" A warm hand touched his chest. He'd been shivering. "Calm down. Everything is okay. What's your name?"

His name? Did he have a name?

The menacing voice from earlier screamed in his head like a sharp bell.

'HISOKA!'

Hisoka… Was that his name? It sounded vaguely familiar.

For the first time since he regained consciousness, he opened his eyes.

All the fog in his mind was swept away as he looked at the owner of the soothing voice. He was finally able to picture someone else in the world; proof that he wasn't existing all by himself.

This. The first face implanted in his memory. The only face that he had to grasp at whenever he wondered if he were alone. It was so beautiful and comforting.

And like that, Hisoka was permanently attached.

"What's your name?" The person in front of him repeated.

Hisoka silently lifted up his icy hand and touched the blonde male's cheek. At least, he was pretty sure it was a male. His face was very delicate and his long hair reached the small of his back.

Kurapika tensed up when the redhead touched him but he tried not to let it show. The doctor in him was coming out and he wanted to evaluate where this man was at mentally. Hence the repeat of the question, "What is your name?"

Hisoka gently rubbed his thumb over the blonde's lips, taking in the sweet sound of that beautiful voice.

Kurapika's professional composure cracked as he blushed and jumped away from the curious redhead. He was grateful that the bandages he tightly wrapped around his own ankle earlier did a decent job of restoring it back to being remotely useful again. Although, it still hurt to walk and he had a very noticeable limp...

His lips tingled from where the stranger touched him and he resisted the urge to bring his own fingers to his mouth.

Hisoka took that opportunity to take in his surroundings. He was in a small cozy living room. Something told him that this was not where he typically spent his time. He felt like he should be looking at cream colored walls and monitors, not fluffy couches and fireplaces.

He turned his attention back to the blonde and frowned in disapproval. He didn't like them being so far apart from each other. He was afraid that he'd forget the smaller male's face if they were apart for too long.

Hisoka weakly reached out for the blonde to come closer to him but Kurapika moved further back and shook his head 'no'.

"Can you talk?" Kurapika asked the redheaded stranger, trying to ignore the unexpected clinginess.

Hisoka sneezed in response.

Kurapika's eyebrow rose in concern. His mind scanned over the man like a computer analyzing a new project.

Name: Unknown

Age: Unknown. Estimated somewhere in the mid to late twenties.

Sex: _Definitely_ male.

Diagnosis: Possibly mute. Possible head trauma.

Hisoka reached for Kurapika again but the doctor dodged out his grasp, this time earning a frustrated growl from the larger man.

Oh yeah… and no regards for personal boundaries.

"Okay. So you can't talk." Kurapika said as he turned away from the redhead's intense stare. The young doctor almost felt as if _he_ were the one being analyzed. "Can you write?"

Instantly, Kurapika darted over to the counter to grab his notebook and pen.

Hisoka carefully watched the beautiful blonde move across the room. He sat up and crossed his legs, never taking his eyes off the smaller male.

"Here." Kurapika was at Hisoka's side again as he shoved the supplies to him.

Hisoka looked down at the pen and paper in his lap then back at the beautiful blonde. He knew what this stuff was. He even knew what he was supposed to do with it. Write his name. He just couldn't remember how.

He opened his mouth to tell the blonde that but when he tried, he was stopped by a cruel voice snapping in his head like a whip.

'Shut up!' It lashed out. 'You do not speak! Animals don't speak!'

He felt the pain of stinging blades being pressed into his sides and he snapped his mouth shut. No. He was not supposed to speak.

Kurapika noticed the man's sudden mood change and instead of being afraid he grew more concerned. "If you can't write, that's okay. We'll figure something out." He patted the redhead on the back to comfort him.

Hisoka relaxed to the touch and wrapped his large arms around Kurapika in response.

The doctor tensed up and tried to push away from the clingy redhead but he wasn't nearly as strong. "H-Hey!" The stutter did nothing to hide the fact that he was blushing more than necessary. It was so uncomfortable! Being held by this dirty homeless man.

At least he looked homeless anyway.

Kurapika twisted his body to get a good look at the man who was currently nuzzling his nose lovingly in the doctor's neck.

His wet red hair a hung a few inches past his shoulder blades. It was pushed to the side so that way it was all resting over one shoulder. He was wearing a dirty tattered tan shirt and pants that matched in color and age. No shoes. No socks. Nothing else.

Kurapika tried to push away again and that's when he saw a faded word branded on the back of the redhead's neck.

"Hisoka?"

Hisoka's head shot up and he suddenly stopped his nuzzling. His hold on Kurapika tightened in an almost painful grip.

Kurapika mentally took note that the subject was unpredictable and jumpy. Proceeding with caution was advised.

"Is that your name?" Kurapika spoke softly and carefully. "Hisoka?"

Hisoka stared down at the blonde in his arms. He was on edge, like a rabid dog backed into a corner. The only memory he had of that name was a frightening one.

'HISOKA!'

His eyes dangerously narrowed. Yes. That voice. That vile voice called him that.

"Hisoka?" Kurapika tested the word on his tongue once more.

Hisoka was slowly starting to relax again. His name didn't sound very vile coming from this person though. It sounded soothing… nice.

He smiled and nodded his head before going back to his nuzzling.

"Okay. **NO.** " Kurapika pushed Hisoka's face away with both his hands. "Let me go, Hisoka." He ordered firmly.

Hisoka chuckled a silent chuckle as if the doctor were only kidding around. Then he flashed a coy half-smile while adjusting Kurapika nice and snuggly in his lap.

Kurapika sighed, trying a different approach. "Hisoka… My name is Kurapika."

Kurapika… The name was as sweet as sugar. It made Hisoka hold him even more snuggly.

Okay, this was **NOT** going to happen. "You need a shower. And…" Kurapika smiled when he heard the redhead's stomach growl. "And while you're in the shower I can make you some food." He had to be careful. He wasn't sure where this man came from or what could make him snap. "Do you understand?"

Hisoka nodded.

"Good!" The doctor jumped out the redhead's arms and moved faaaaar away. "Shower is this way." He motioned to the hall bathroom, temporarily forgetting that Hisoka might not be able to see this gesture since the power was off and the fire was dying. "Just… follow my voice."

Hisoka stood up and sneezed. For the first time, Kurapika was able to get a good look at how much bigger the redhead was. As good of a look he could get with the dimming firelight anyway. He was not only much taller than the doctor, but also very muscular. The sight made Kurapika's heart jump in his throat from fear. What had he gotten himself into? He'd have to be really careful not to piss the large stranger off.

Hisoka could hear Kurapika's heartbeat quicken and briefly wondered why he seemed so distressed. It made him extremely protective and oddly excited at the thought of possibly killing something.

Hisoka sneezed again as he followed Kurapika into the bathroom. His eyes quickly scanned over everything checking for danger. The home was small and clean. Or at least… it was clean until he tracked his wet dirty footprints onto the brightly colored bathroom tiles.

He looked over his shoulder and saw the annoyed twitching of the blonde male's eyebrow and Hisoka grinned. What a cute little quirk.

"Towels are in that cabinet." Kurapika called over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

The dirty redhead took notice that Kurapika kept feeling around the walls earlier as he walked. Could he not see in the dark? The poor thing was so weak and pathetic. How did he even survive all this time?

After Hisoka was left alone in the bathroom, he took off his wet clothes and tossed them carelessly to the ground. Then he turned on the shower after a few minutes of struggling to try to work it, and stepped inside.

The hot water felt heavenly on his aching skin and he closed his sunbeam colored eyes in bliss. He felt like showers weren't something he had the pleasure of frequently enjoying.

He opened his eyes and watched as the dirty water swirled down the drain. Out the corner of his eye, he saw a bottle of soap. He grabbed it, and rubbed it in his hair. Another luxury he felt like he didn't get to enjoy too often.

When he felt like he was all clean he turned off the water and stepped in front of the bathroom mirror.

He first studied his face. It was much more sharp and manly than Kurapika's. His hair was shorter, stopping around his shoulder blades. And it was bright red with maroon tints. What an interesting color. Hisoka grinned, deciding that he was quite handsome.

His eyes trailed down his muscular torso and arms. His entire body was covered in large ugly scars. He frowned, vaguely remembering a lot of pain and punishment happening to this body of his.

Hisoka dripped water all over the bathroom as he looked down at his dirty clothes on the ground. He didn't want to put them back on. He had a gut feeling that he wore that outfit a lot. Everyday day of his life to be exact. It was torn and had faded stains on it that he felt like were his bloodstains from the torment he had to endure.

Hisoka tossed the towel Kurapika mentioned that was in the cabinet over those clothes and stepped out the bathroom.

He smelled something savory drifting in the hall and he followed the scent into the kitchen. Kurapika was standing over a little pot fussing over the temperature. He had a small camping lantern sitting on the counter that brightened up the kitchen just enough so he could see what he was doing.

Kurapika mumbled something about portable cooking pots and how much he hated them as he looked over his shoulder to greet Hisoka. "How was your- WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!" His face was redder than the tomatoes he had just cut up.

Hisoka looked down at his naked form then back up at Kurapika. He looked good naked. Why was Kurapika upset?

The doctor thought he was going to die! He couldn't believe that his normal ordinary weekend had turned into a naked, albeit very attractive, man standing in his kitchen! Without his permission, his eyes trailed over Hisoka's muscular arms and chest. His blush deepened as his gaze wavered right above the redhead's waistline.

Hisoka noticed the ogling and grinned. He appreciated the extra attention Kurapika gave him while he was naked.

Seeing the dumb cocky smirk on the redhead's face made the doctor very angry and even more embarrassed! How could someone who can't even talk seem so arrogant and annoying?! "I'll find you something to wear!" He snapped as he stormed out the kitchen and into his room.

Hisoka heard Kurapika bump into something and curse, which made the redhead silently chuckle.

Hisoka was still smiling as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Kurapika returned seconds later holding a pair of black sweats.

"Here. These are too big for me." He mumbled, shoving the pants against Hisoka's chest and moving to the portable cooking pot. However, he was stopped short in his tracks by a firm grip on his wrist and a strong arm snaking its way around his waist.

Hisoka stared down at Kurapika's face, taking in every little detail. He didn't want to forget it. He couldn't forget it…

He released the blonde's wrist so he could gently run his sharp nails over the smaller male's jawline.

Kurapika…. The only face in the world that Hisoka could picture whenever he closed his eyes. The only one that danced around in his empty memory reminding him that he was not alone.

"Hisoka..." Kurapika's voice was warning. How many times did he have to go through this with him? "Let go." He was surprisingly not afraid, probably because of his job. Hisoka didn't display any characteristics of being violent... as of yet.

Hisoka smiled and did as he was told, confident that he wouldn't forget the blonde's face anytime soon.

Kurapika pulled away, happy to have his freedom. It was then that he noticed all the scars stretching over the redhead's skin.

He instinctively switched to doctor mode. "Those are interesting scars." His voice was smooth and easy. The voice he always used when speaking to a patient.

Hisoka put on the pants Kurapika handed him and wasn't too shocked to see that they were still too small. The bottom of the pants stopped at his calves.

"Do they come with an interesting story?" Kurapika asked as he gently led Hisoka to a chair at the table.

Hisoka sat down and tried to pull Kurapika into his lap but the doctor moved away from the reaching arms.

"You can't talk." More of a reminder to himself than a question.

Hisoka raised a brow, completely uninterested in talking about himself anyway. And it wasn't that he couldn't talk. It was that he wasn't allowed to.

"Do you have someone I can call for you?"

Hisoka responded with a sneeze. He hoped he wasn't getting sick.

"Like a friend or family member?" Kurapika elaborated.

Hisoka shrugged. Did he have friends or family members? Seemed unlikely.

A thought suddenly occurred to Kurapika. "Do you…even remember who you are?" The doctor asked as he made Hisoka a hot bowl of beef soup. Of course. Why wasn't this his first question? Patients who have gone through severe mental or physical trauma can have memory loss.

Hisoka thought about that for a moment. He knew his name. He knew what he looked like, thanks to the bathroom mirror, but as for who he was…?

He shook his head 'no' as Kurapika placed the bowl of soup and a spoon on the table front of him.

"I see…" Kurapika sat across from him with his own bowl of food. He made a mental add-on to the diagnoses.

Amnesia.

The doctor's eyes scanned over the scars across Hisoka's chest, which seemed to be illuminated by the lantern light.

Another mental note: Prospect of being a victim of abuse or severe self-harm.

"Do you remember anything at all?"

Hisoka shook his head again, silently lying. He did remember something.

Pain.

And the echo of his own broken screaming.

Kurapika sighed, switching off doctor mode. He wasn't going to get anywhere with someone who couldn't even remember where 'anywhere' was. The blonde brought a spoonful of soup to his lips but froze when he noticed his silent 'guest' hadn't touched his meal.

"What?" He frowned. "You don't like soup?"

Hisoka looked down at the steaming soup then back up at Kurapika. A grin slowly grew over his face. This was for him? Hisoka reached down to touch his spoon when something suddenly shocked his cells.

A memory of a rough hand grabbing him by the sides of his mouth and prying it open flooded into his mind. "Don't be so picky, Hisoka." It sneered.

Hisoka subconsciously crashed his fist down on the table as his bloodlust began to resurface. A long ugly crack jaggedly stretched from Hisoka's hand to the young doctor's side of the table. The unexpected reaction to Kurapika asking the redhead's preference to food immensely shocked him. The doctor carefully moved toward Hisoka and his mental warning from earlier chimed in his thoughts.

Subject is unpredictable. Proceed with caution.

Hisoka closed his eyes and images of needles and silver trays bombarded his memory. He didn't want to remember this. Not right now.

"Hisoka?" The moment Kurapika touched his shoulder, Hisoka's dark thoughts started to fade away. All images from his old memories were gone, replaced by images from his newly forming memory. The memory that only had Kurapika, fireplaces, showers, and soup.

Hisoka devilishly grinned as he glanced down at Kurapika's resting hand on his broad shoulder, completely unaware of his dangerous 'episode' just now. He wrapped his arms around the waist of the slim blonde and pulled him into his lap. He really enjoyed holding the squirming smaller male.

"H-Hisoka!" Kurapika blushed and fought the death grip Hisoka had him in.

Hisoka began to happily eat his soup, unbothered and without a care in the world. He still had the young doctor firmly in his lap.

Noticing the significant change in the redhead's mood now, Kurapika let out a frustrated sigh and buried his face in his hands. It was clear to him that for some reason or another, Hisoka had an unnatural attachment to him. Most likely from losing his memory.

The outcome wasn't uncommon in amnesia patients. When someone loses their memory after a traumatic event, the first person they see can easily become the first, and sometimes the only person they trust for a while. Much like how a baby duck follows its mother around for being the first thing it sees after it hatches.

Hisoka sneezed and Kurapika sighed again. After drawing this conclusion, he was fairly certain that he wasn't in any real danger from the silent redhead. However, he wasn't too pleased about being the only attachment Hisoka had to this world. He was very anxious for the storm to end so he could get rid of this burden and go back to his regular routine.

Kurapika tried to move off Hisoka again but was still held firmly in the large man's lap while he ate his soup. The doctor's warning kept replaying in his head as he tried to regain his freedom.

Subject is unpredictable. Proceed with caution. Subject is unpredictable. Proceed with caution.

Subject is unpredictable. Proceed with caution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Author's Note:** _ _I know, I know. Hisoka is acting a bit more…animalistic than he does in the show. But I want to remind everyone that the circumstances are a little different. He's not a free and happy magician here. He comes from a tortured past where he was trained to act like he does. I, of course, still love my baby, scars and all._
> 
>  


	3. Magical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Author's Note:** I'm not a mental illness expert *I warn again* I have some knowledge but since I'm in college for Sociology so my writing about mental illnesses are not completely unfounded. Hope you all enjoy. _
> 
>  

Kurapika was six.

Being six years old is such a magical time in life. It's when children are without a care in the world and stress is just a word parents use referring to adult problems. Being six is fun and exciting. It's a time of licking cold popsicle juice off your fingers on a hot sunny day. It's a time of catching fireflies and sticking them in jars under the cool starry sky. It's a time of sitting on a mound of soft plush grass and drawing a picture of your family out of crayons.

Sweet, young Kurapika was sitting on a mound of squishy molded food and debris damp with rat pee. The garbage stuck to his bare legs as he sat up on his knees and wrote notes on the stained walls of his home. His long blonde hair gently swayed loosely at his hips while he worked.

The trash he was sitting in covered the entire house, and the mound was so high that it reached the bottom of the window frame. It was impossible to open the front door because of the mess, so if anyone wanted to leave, they'd have to crawl through the window. The tiny house located miles away from any other residence homed hundreds of rats and roaches as well as the Kurta family of three.

Propped up next to the blonde child was a book on adult development and life assessment. His focused brown eyes darted from the pages then back to the wall as he added more information to the collection of notes he'd gathered over the years. He was trying to learn as much as he could on mental illnesses but it was a little bit difficult when all he had to go off of were whatever books he could find in bookstores or libraries.

"Kurapika~" His mother, Suzuka, lovingly wrapped her arms around Kurapika's frail shoulders and pulled him away from what he was doing. She pressed her cheek against his and happily rubbed them together. "What did mommy say about drawing on the walls?" Her voice held no true anger, it was playful and carefree. Sometimes the young blonde wished his mother would scold him.

One of the flies that buzzed above their heads landed on Suzuka's arm to eat the crust that was caked on her skin. She smiled at her son, unaware of the little creature harvesting food off her flesh. She, like Kurapika and her husband, Jin, wore faded clothes that were covered in garbage. Her hair was sloppily cut right above her shoulders, something she did herself with a rusted kitchen knife, and her nails were yellow and chipped.

Kurapika could hear the decayed litter squish under them as his mother adjusted them both into a more comfortable sitting position. "Mommy?" Kurapika's voice was so small and sweet. It didn't even sound like the voice of someone so resilient and controlled. His eyes quickly scanned over his mother and he could see from her quick breathing she was excited about something. Kurapika knew that she should not get too excited because it could lead to another episode.

Suzuka rotated Kurapika's body to face his father and then her smile widened. "Do you see what Captain brought me and your father?" She nodded toward the camera his father was fiddling with. Kurapika wanted to sigh as Jin suspiciously examined every inch of the little device.

Kurapika kissed his mother on the cheek, careful not to say anything that might stress her. "I see." He spoke in a tone he developed a few years ago whenever he needed to sound compassionate and engaged. It was a camera that he knew his mother had left the house to steal. Most likely out someone's trash. Whenever she said 'Captain' brought her anything, Kurapika knew that meant she was adding another item to her collection of trash.

It was very difficult sometimes dealing with his mother's false sense of reality. There have been many times when Kurapika wanted to scream at Suzuka that she had no friend named 'Captain' and that he was just a figment of her imagination. But of course he would never _really_ do that to her no matter frustrated he became. She was his mother and he loved her. There was no way he'd want to break her heart like that.

Suzuka returned Kurapika's kiss then looked at the camera. "Smile, Honey. Your dad is going to take a picture!"

A roach scurried over Kurapika's hand and its tiny legs pinched his skin as it started to crawl up his bare arm. He brushed it away.

"Are you smiling?" His mother asked. Her voice rose a bit and Kurapika could sense that the idea of him not smiling for the picture was really upsetting to her.

"I'm smiling." He replied through a grin that appeared bright and cheerful.

Jin held up the rusted camera and examined it a bit more. He was checking to see if there were any hidden dangers. "Okay, are you guys ready?" He asked once satisfied it was safe.

Kurapika's young mind worked like a computer as it scanned over the camera. He was able to properly analyze it in just a few seconds. He noticed the faded water marks inside the lens, he picked up on the brown waste hidden away in its creases.

He tilted his head and analyzed some more.

The viewfinder glass was cracked and fogged, it was unlikely Jin would be able to see them through it. If he did manage to aim the camera correctly, the shutter release button was missing, the film slot was open and bare of any film, and the body of the camera was falling apart.

Although Kurapika was a child prodigy, it didn't take a genius to see the camera was broken.

His father banged his fist on the camera, activating the flash, and his mother cheered.

"Yay! We're definitely keeping that one!" Suzuka kissed her son on the cheek before rushing over to her husband. She looked down at the camera in awe.

"It's beautiful." Her voice cracked with emotion. "Look at your hair in this one, Pika." She pointed to the blank camera display while turning it so Kurapika could see.

Kurapika smiled and nodded his head. "I look cute." He lied. He didn't look anything because the 'picture' was nothing but a dark screen. But he couldn't say that. He had to pretend to be interested and speak with just as much happiness as he could muster.

He was only six years old and he'd mastered talking to his mentally ill parents.

"You DO look cute!" His mother piped up.

Jin looked over Suzuka's shoulder and nodded in agreement. "Very handsome."

Kurapika wretchedly watched as his parents both fawned over that stupid camera. His heart broke as he saw the way they happily lived in their own little world and ignored the harsh reality of what was around them. He was aware that it wasn't their fault, that no one can control having a mental illness. He just couldn't help feeling sad and lost whenever he needed his parents to be parents.

He was the one who reassured _them_ that there were no monsters in the closets. He was the one who scavenged for food to feed _them_. He told them stories and made sure they were safe. He kissed them goodnight and comforted them from nightmares. He did everything he wished they would do for him.

"Pika." Suzuka put the camera down next to her and spoke in a pleading whine. "Do you think that after the film develops, you could hang it over the bed?" The 'bed' being a nest of sleeping bags and pillows Kurapika made for them in the farthest corner of the house.

"Of course, Mommy." The young blonde's chest tightened. He closed his eyes and reevaluated the mental file he had for his mother.

Name: Suzuka Kurta

Age: 32

Sex: Female

Diagnosis: Severe Schizophrenia- a mental disorder often characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to recognize what is real.

Compulsive hoarding, also known as hoarding disorder- The inability or unwillingness to discard large quantities of objects that cover the living areas of the home so much so that it causes significant distress and impairment.

"Will you frame it?" Suzuka sounded very childlike as she spoke. Not uncommon in schizophrenic adults. "You'll frame it right, Pika?"

Kurapika nodded. "How else would I hang it up?" He smiled as he rubbed her hair to confirm that he would, in fact, hang up the imaginary picture in a frame. Suzuka was very appreciative of him doing that and excitedly pulled her son into a hug.

The notes from Kurapika's newest book shouted at him from the walls, warning him that he did not have much time. He learned that the older people suffering from mental illnesses got, the worse they became. He also learned that more often than not, those illnesses could be managed and maybe even slightly controlled with some professional counseling.

Kurapika was no professional but he certainly would not turn his parents over to one so they could be poked and prodded. He could only imagine how frightened they'd be. No, that was not an option. He needed to find more books. He needed to know as much information as any professional so _he_ could be the one to counsel them. Then maybe… he could fix them.

The problem with this notion was that Kurapika's father has not allowed him to leave the house in almost two months. It was giving Kurapika a little cabin fever. His body felt heavy with sickness from being shut in so long and it didn't help that the only things they had to sustain themselves were dirty water and old food.

The young blonde rested his chapped lips on his mother's arm and closed his eyes. He could smell the putrid waste that sheathed her skin and tried to ignore the way his cheek felt against the sticky substance. "I love you." He whispered. Kurapika didn't know why he suddenly wanted to tell her that. Maybe he was trying to soften the blow of what he'd say next. "Mommy…I need to go get more books." Which mean he had to leave for a few days. They were never happy whenever he was gone.

Suzuka nodded, completely ignoring what he was trying to say. "Books are good for you." She mumbled. "Books are good for you… like carrots." She paused. "Have you finished your carrots?"

Kurapika resisted the urge to sigh. He knew she was referring to the carrots she'd found under the TV a few days ago. They were covered in rat bites and mushy with pee and rodent shit. They were mostly orange except for the white fussy mold growing on the ends. They tasted horrible and Kurapika knew that because he ate them. He had no choice. He was so hungry.

"Yes mommy, I finished them." He said in a tone he hoped sounded appreciative. He followed that with another indication that he wanted to leave to get supplies. "I could get more from outside. They'll be fresher, so they'll be better for us."

But Suzuka was lost in her thoughts. She was very pleased with herself when she found those carrots because they were actually the most edible thing to eat in the entire house. So naturally she gave them to her son. She loved Kurapika with her whole heart and she was very proud of the fact that she provided for him. "I should tell Captain to bring us more…" She blissfully thought aloud.

"Mommy…" Kurapika wanted to cry, he was so frustrated. He was still just a little kid and sometimes his age showed when he was emotional. "Please…"

Jin, who was suspiciously counting his teeth as if they threatened to suddenly fall out, spoke for the first time since he took the picture. "It's too dangerous." He moved closer to his wife and son, ready to protect them from the very idea of going outside. "You'll stay."

Kurapika felt his father sit next to Suzuka and protectively pull them both into his big strong arms.

"Daddy I need to go." He said gently. "We need food and clean water."

Jin shook his head and held his family tighter against him. "We have those things. It's too dangerous for you to leave."

"We need _clean_ water." The only water they had was the rainwater that leaked from the roof and collected in little pockets of the garbage.

"I said no." Jin barked. "It's too dangerous! You're staying here and I don't want to hear another thing about it!" His chest heaved and he arms trembled in panic. He was struggling not to become overwhelmed with the terror he was feeling.

Kurapika immediately reached up and touched his father's face to calm him down. The young blonde allowed himself to be held as he lovingly caressed his father's cheek. Not being treated for all these years was making them sicker. Kurapika subconsciously evaluated his father's file.

Name: Jin Kurta

Age: 34

Sex: Male

Diagnosis: Severe Agoraphobia- Irrational fear or anxiety in situations where the sufferer believes the environment is dangerous or unsafe. In extreme cases, the sufferer will refuse to leave the house.

Delusional disorder (Unspecified type) – Having false beliefs with no evidence or convictions. Subject's delusions are not consistent enough to be characterized in a specific group.

"You'll stay forever." Jin breathed out, slowly growing more relaxed. "And you'll be safe."

"I'll stay forever…" Kurapika whispered back.

His parents weren't always like this. Kurapika had vague memories of them once being cheerful and healthy. Then suddenly with no warning, they became sick.

Kurapika knew that mental illnesses weren't contagious, so he thought it was unusual that his parents both got sick at the same time. It was as if the universe played a cruel joke on him by taking away what was once a stable home.

It'd been years since his parents slowly started to let go of reality and Kurapika noticed that they were only getting worse. He knew that their minds would continue to fade until eventually, they were no longer there.

However, despite the fact that his parents continued to slip away, Kurapika was growing sharper and more brilliant as the days went on. His understanding of the world around him would be clearer and his mind was able to process things that he understood surpassed most adults' comprehension. This made his situation that much worse.

He was not underdeveloped enough to eventually heal from his childhood. His memory was impeccable which meant that there was nothing he would forget. He'd remember every traumatic element he'd ever gone through well into his adult years.

"Kurapika…" Suzuka whispered.

Kurapika looked up at his mother who had tears rolling down her pink flushed cheeks. The sweet six-year-old boy gently grabbed the back of his mother's neck and pressed her forehead to his.

He could feel that she was burning up with a fever. They needed medicine and fresh water.

Kurapika decided that he'd have to sneak out tonight once his parents fell asleep to get those things. The books would have to wait until he nursed Suzuka back to health.

"Stop..." She wasn't talking to Kurapika. Something was hurting her. She could feel it crawling in her skin. Kurapika couldn't see it. Jin couldn't see it. Only she could see it. She could see it and she needed to keep it from her family. Suzuka roughly scratched her arm to kill the creatures crawling around under her flesh, but they were still there. No. No. She had to get them out. She had to get them out before they hurt Pika.

Suzuka was scratching her arm much harder now and Jin, who was still holding his wife and son in his arms, was becoming affected by his wife's panic. He held them closer and frantically glanced around the room for what could be upsetting his wife. "We're safe." He mumbled. "We're safe as long as we don't leave."

Suzuka's fever was bringing out another episode. She was whimpering and crying as she aggressively clawed at her skin.

"Mommy, there's nothing there." Her son spoke softly.

Kurapika read that most people with schizophrenia were not violent or dangerous to others. In his mother's case, this was true. She only seemed to ever harm herself.

The tiny blonde gently took his mother's frantic hand and saw that she had scratched herself so aggressively that she ripped through her skin. Blood was smeared all over her trembling fingertips and arm. She looked genuinely horrified that Kurapika was touching her.

"Pika, s-stop." She was trembling so hard from fear of Kurapika getting infected that her teeth were chattering.

Something else he read was that when treated properly, some people with schizophrenia are able to happily function within their families and neighborhoods. Suzuka was a long way from being able to function within a neighborhood, and Kurapika was a long way from treating her illness properly, but he still had his own way to calm her nerves.

"Here, Mommy." He whispered. He placed her bloodied hand on top of his soft blonde hair and Suzuka's hand disappeared into a mess of golden locks.

"Once upon a time…" As soon as Kurapika's childish voice filled the room he could feel both his parents relax a little and sink into each other's embrace.

"There was this magical stone that lived under a sparkling waterfall." Kurapika leaned back into the arms of his parents and closed his eyes. This story always calmed them down. "One night when the stars were shining their brightest, the stone decided to leave the waterfall and travel the world."

A bug was crawling around the inside of Kurapika's shirt and he shivered.

"So the magical stone turned into a boy with hair made of gold and silk."

"And fairy dust." Suzuka lightly added as she twirled her fingers around her son's soft blonde hair. "Don't forget the fairy dust."

With his eyes still closed, Kurapika shifted his body in the trash so he was sitting a bit more comfortably. "Right of course." He nodded. "fairy dust..."

"And the boy had a lot of adventures" Suzuka's voice was shaking as she picked up the story. Kurapika softly rubbed his thumb over her wrist, encouraging her to continue. "He rode the stars to wherever he wanted to go."

"And." Kurapika yawned while glancing up to see his father feint sleep. In actuality, he was secretly listening to the story. The blonde child smiled. His father always secretly listened. "He was surrounded with good luck."

Now Suzuka was beginning to get a bit more eager. "Because of his hair!"

"Shh…" Jin shushed. He was afraid her loud noises could draw unwanted attention from outsiders. Not that any outsiders ever wanted to come near their disgusting home.

"It was magic." She said softer this time.

"Right. His hair _was_ magic." Kurapika could feel his mother running her fingers through his long golden locks. "And as long as his hair was magical, nothing bad would ever happen."

"But if he cut it…" Suzuka tightened her grip on Kurapika's hair as if she was trying to keep it from suddenly slipping through her fingers. "He'd let the magic out and…and bad things would happen."

Kurapika gently loosened her grip on his scalp and placed her hand on a lower part of his hair. "He'd never cut it." He promised. "Bad things will never happen."

-Now-

Kurapika curiously watched Hisoka easily shuffle a deck of playing cards from one hand to the other. He really seemed to enjoy those things. After dinner when Kurapika pulled them out and suggested Hisoka play with them to keep his mind busy, the redhead instantly grew attached to the $1.99 pack of cards.

It was very surprising actually. It appeared that Hisoka had no idea how to play any card games other than shuffling if you could call that a game anyway. He didn't even really seem interested in the simplest ones such as "Go Fish". But at least what he was doing kept him from hanging all over Kurapika while they were trapped inside from the storm.

The way Hisoka was passing the cards swiftly and skillfully from each hand made Kurapika very curious. He really hadn't seen anyone shuffle like that before. Not unless he was looking at some fancy Las Vegas special on HBO.

"Are you sure you've never had a deck of cards before?" Kurapika asked from his sitting position on the couch. He placed his book on his lap, memorizing the page so he could pick it up later.

Hisoka looked up at him and arrogantly grinned as he shook his head 'no'. The cards danced between his fingertips.

He was purposely showing off now.

Kurapika rolled his eyes and looked away from the grinning redhead. "And on that note, I'm going to bed." He sighed as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

Hisoka looked over his shoulder and watched Kurapika stretch.

In that moment, he no longer saw Kurapika.

Hisoka's lips parted in surprise as an image bombarded his memory. He saw two large muscular arms threateningly raise above him

Then the heavy fists punishingly crashed against his temples.

The cards in Hisoka's hands fell to the floor and his muscles flexed with his growing rage. His mind was completely shut off no longer able to think freely about his actions.

All that he could do was feel, and he felt bloodlust.

He needed to feel someone's warm sticky blood dripping from his hands. He needed to see someone beg for mercy as he plunged his arm into their stomach and watched the desperate life drain from their eyes. He needed to hear his wild maniacal laughter mix in with the splitting screams of his victims.

He needed to kill.

Hisoka heard someone move behind him and the action made him rapidly jump to his feet. He wrapped his threatening hands around the wrists of the person who surprised him and forced them closer.

Kurapika mistook the exchange for Hisoka being overly affectionate again and fearlessly tried to pull away. "Hisoka." He warned, unaware of how close he was to death. "Let go."

Hisoka stared down intently at the young doctor and his bloodlust slowly faded away.

A name softly floated in the back of his conscience.

_Kurapika…_

Suddenly, his mind switched back on and he flashed a very cute and flirtatious smile.

He had no idea that he was seconds away from killing the young doctor.

Kurapika was instantly annoyed as he was finally able to yank away. "You'll sleep on the couch." He guided Hisoka to the fluffy blue couch and then pushed the larger man down.

"Stay." The doctor ordered over his shoulder.

Hisoka watched Kurapika disappear down the dark hall in adoration. Tomorrow when Kurapika woke up, he'd be in for a nice surprise.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   _ **Author's Note:**_ _Okay that was SO hard for me by the way. Like I really struggled with this chapter._
> 
> _In chapter 4 Kurapika will call Leo (who happens to be an amnesia specialist) to set up an appointment for Hisoka! Hopefully, Kurapika takes Hisoka out to get some actual clothes first.!_
> 
> _Oh and a fun fact about Suzuka and Jin's names. Those are names that my friend (also my beta) picked out for Kurapika's parents. I believe she said she got them from Yu Yu Hakusho!_
> 
> _Hope the chapter was enjoyable._


	4. Unsalvageable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Author's Note:** _ _This chapter, like the last one, was SO difficult to do. Lol._

It was 7 o'clock on Saturday morning and Hisoka was lazily rummaging through the fridge. The storm passed and the power came back on in the middle of the night so the refrigerated food didn't have a chance to spoil. That was good news for Hisoka who wanted to surprise Kurapika by generously cooking for him. It was a very odd surprise coming from someone with _zero_ cooking experience. But that's okay. He knew that whatever he made would be delicious.

Hisoka lifted his head out the fridge when he heard Kurapika shuffling around in the back of the house. The redhead had woken up pretty early and he was happy that Kurapika was finally going to accompany him. It was boring being the only person awake.

His alone time was spent playing with his cards, re-checking the fridge for breakfast ideas, and sneaking into Kurapika's room to see if he was still asleep. After a few hours of repeating those steps, he had to admit he was getting a bit restless. If Kurapika hadn't have gotten up when he did, Hisoka probably would have done something mischievous to wake him. Alas, Kurapika was up before Hisoka got the chance to creatively rouse his golden haired beauty.

He closed the fridge and strolled into the hall wearing one of his most charming grins. Kurapika was standing in front of the bathroom door holding a pair of fresh clothes and rubbing his eyes. Trying to get the blonde to pay attention to him, Hisoka leaned against the wall and smiled a smile that said 'Good morning'. But the young doctor barely said a word as he dragged himself into the bathroom for a shower.

No, no, no. That won't do. Hisoka already spent more than enough time by himself. His mind was going to explode from boredom if he didn't get some type of mental stimulation.

And what better stimulation than a very wet and very naked Kurapika?

Hisoka carried himself very confidently as he stepped inside the bathroom. Ahhh... but unfortunately, Kurapika was already in the shower when the redhead made his entrance. Hisoka quietly closed the door behind him and almost sighed in sweet bliss as the steam from the hot water hugged his body. He leaned on the bathroom sink and closed his eyes. This was nice. He quite enjoyed being locked in a tight space with Kurapika while listening to him shower. A faint humming was coming from behind the curtain and Hisoka had to resist the urge to hum along with him.

Oh what the hell.

Hisoka started humming along with him anyway.

Kurapika had an odd feeling wash over him. Like the feeling you get when you can sense someone watching you. That feeling of eerie creepiness when you know you're not alone and something is telling you a presence is lingering dangerously nearby.

A hot angry blush developed on the young doctor's face in realization. _Hisoka!_ He whipped the curtain open, careful not to expose any of his precious… 'areas' and gaped in horror. That dumb redhead was just casually humming along without a care in the world! Never mind that someone was in here SHOWERING! Nope, that didn't matter to Hisoka at all! Kurapika couldn't contain his shocked rage. Bubbly soap dripped from his long tangled hair as he screamed,

"HISOKA!"

Hisoka stopped humming and peered at Kurapika through one half-open eye, his smirk never fading.

"GET. OUT!" The soaking wet male could feel his face heat up even more.

Hisoka was very pleased with the blush so self-consciously staining Kurapika's cheeks. His golden eyes slowly lowered as he wondered just how far down that blush reached…

Noticing the redhead's curious eyes, Kurapika hurled a soap bottle at him.

Hisoka easily caught it in one hand which earned a loud growl of frustration from Kurapika.

"Get out, Hisoka!"

The very amused mute walked over to the fuming doctor and handed the soap back to him. Kurapika was so cute when he was angry.

Kurapika snatched back his soap and spoke through clenched teeth. He was trying to sound sweet but his voice really just sounded strained and shaky.

"Hisoka…" The doctor decided to try and bribe him with food since it seemed to work last night. "Are you hungry?"

Hisoka's smile widened. Kurapika just reminded him about his surprise. Now that the blonde was awake, he could start on breakfast.

Kurapika took that smile as a 'Yes' and continued talking. "Okay… why don't you go to the kitchen and pick out something for me to cook." He was clutching the cold shower curtain against his body and could already feel the hot water beginning to fade. He wanted to groan. His nice relaxing shower of course had to be ruined by his new 'guest'. "When I get out I'll cook whatever you want."

Hisoka placed one hand on his own flawlessly shaped hip and used his free hand to tilt Kurapika's chin up. He gave the smaller male a look of pure adoration before lightly kissing the blonde on his wet soapy forehead.

Kurapika was frozen in utter shock as he watched Hisoka arrogantly saunter out the room. He wanted to scream into the showerhead and curse Hisoka for not keeping his lips to himself. But instead, he angrily closed the curtain and scrubbed the rest of his body, making sure to scrub extra hard on his forehead.

Kurapika came out the bathroom wearing black jeans and a green turtleneck. His hair was mostly dry when he tied it in a loose braid at the base of his neck.

Sounds of shuffling and metal clanking lead Kurapika into the kitchen. His fingers twirled at the bottom of his braid, making the finishing touches to his signature hairstyle. He was about to ask Hisoka what in the world he was even doing but what he saw made him pause.

Hisoka was leaning over the stove fussing over a large pan. The pan was filled with… actually Kurapika couldn't _what_ exactly was in there. He assumed it was food despite the fact that it looked more like puke.

Kurapika moved closer and tilted his head to get a better look. The gross smelling mush was yellow with a bunch of colorful unrecognizable bits in it. What the hell was he even attempting to make here? And how did Hisoka turn on the stove? He had amnesia. Was working random kitchen appliances just a thing that amnesiacs knew how to do?

His question was soon answered when he looked at the stove. Hisoka had recklessly turned all the knobs on full blast until something happened. He was only using one burner and yet the other three were burning bright red, waiting for the opportunity to set something on fire.

Kurapika sighed as he reached over to turn everything back off before the house ignited. He really didn't want to die in a fiery abyss today. However, if Hisoka kept stressing him out like this… he might reconsider that thought.

Hisoka smiled at Kurapika, proud of his little concoction. He was completely unaware of Kurapika's inner frustration when he held up the wooden spoon he was using to mix the… food…? And pressed it to Kurapika's lips.

The blend smelled very foul when brought so close. It made Kurapika want to pull away in disgust. But he didn't. He wasn't an idiot. He knew that he had to be extra careful with his actions when dealing with someone with a mental disorder. Aside from amnesia and being mute, Kurapika didn't know what else was wrong with Hisoka. What if he had violent outbursts or extreme anger issues? Observing him today would help the doctor figure out Hisoka's temperament.

That being said…

Kurapika inwardly groaned as he parted his lips and ate the spoonful of mush.

It wasn't good. Not in the slightest. But at least it was more bearable than it looked.

Kurapika swallowed the last bit of what was in his mouth and saw Hisoka smiling proudly down at him. The mute began to fix a big plate for Kurapika to eat for breakfast.

Kurapika sighed as he sat at the table. Whatever he was about to eat, it was not going to sit well with his stomach.

While Hisoka was bringing Kurapika his meal, the doctor looked to the mess on the counter. Eggs, grapes, mushrooms, peas, onions, ketchup, mustard, and leftover beef stew from last night.

That was what Hisoka was about to feed him. Some weird 'everything but the kitchen sink' mixture of random assortments he found in the fridge.

The hot plate was placed on the table in front of him and Hisoka sat down with his own plate. He hungrily ate his breakfast as if it were the tastiest thing in the world.

Kurapika's analyzing brain clicked on as he mentally jotted down more observations.

Even though Hisoka pulled out eggs, it didn't occur to him to make scrambled eggs or an omelet. Instead he chose to senselessly throw a bunch of unorthodox stuff together. That indicated to the doctor that the redhead came from somewhere that didn't allow or require him to cook for himself.

Furthermore, to anyone else, a disaster like this would not taste very appealing. None of the flavors complemented each other and it should also be noted that Kurapika could see that Hisoka didn't even bother throwing the eggshells in the trash. They were mixed in with the rest of the meal. Yet the quiet redhead ate his breakfast with so much gusto, you'd think it were prepared by a professional chief. A sign that Hisoka had very low standards when it came to what he ate. Either because he wasn't fed often or wasn't fed meals with the proper nutritional necessities.

Kurapika's eyes scanned over Hisoka's body like a computer. Lean. Muscular.

He was fed. Not often. Whatever he was fed was high in protein, low in fat. Based off Hisoka's build and his unnatural ignorance to certain basic cooking skills, Kurapika concluded that the redhead did not consume conventional forms of nutrition.

Suddenly, Hisoka dropped his spoon and was at the doctor's side. Kurapika's analytical side of his brain clicked off as he tried to process what was going on.

"Uh…" He was blushing when Hisoka bent down and looked deeply into his eyes.

Why wasn't Kurapika eating? He couldn't afford to skip a meal. The small male was already much too fragile for Hisoka's liking. The redhead picked up Kurapika's spoon and started to feed him as if he were a baby…or an invalid.

The doctor was a little shocked at the mute's actions but he didn't fight it. Kurapika forced himself to eat the spoonfuls of mush that Hisoka fed him and each bite tasted worse than the last.

They continued this until Kurapika's plate was almost empty.

"Hisoka." Kurapika spoke around a mouthful of nasty food, cringing as he bit into an eggshell while he talked. "We need to leave soon." He swallowed the rest of the food then shuddered. Hisoka offered him more but he declined.

"You need clothes." At least to last until Monday. The Infinity Mental Institution was open today but he knew that the doctor Hisoka needed to see was not going to be working today. Leo was away for a consult which meant Kurapika was stuck with his new burden for a while longer. He couldn't wait for annoying mute to be Leo's problem.

Because Hisoka couldn't remember where he lived, he would have to be checked into the hospital as a live in patient. Luckily for Hisoka, Kurapika hadn't seen any indications that would make him a high risk patient. Since he wasn't classified as a dangerous subject he would be on the top floor of the hospital where all the low risk patients stayed.

Hisoka stood up and stretched. He was a little caught off guard that Kurapika wanted to get him clothes. Did it matter what he wore? Certainly not to him. He'd be okay walking around naked if given the opportunity.

Kurapika looked over all the horrible scars across Hisoka's entire body. Some looked pretty recent while others looked like he'd gotten them in his adolescence. It was true that Hisoka being half naked made Kurapika uneasy, but not for the reasons one might think. Kurapika wasn't uneasy with the lack of clothes, he was more uneasy with seeing so much evidence of abuse. It made him a little sad, which was odd for him since he was usually pretty good about keeping his emotions detached from his patients.

"Try not to get separated from me, okay? I don't need to add 'find mute amnesiac' to my to-do list for the week."

Of course Kurapika didn't have to worry about Hisoka getting separated from him anytime soon. Not while the two were standing chest to chest on the subway. Since it was Saturday, the subway was especially crowed and noisy and Hisoka hated every second of it.

But at least he still had Kurapika.

He leaned closer to the small blonde and kissed his neck.

The action made Kurapika instantly tense up. "Stop." He hissed under his breath. He was already on edge because he could feel all the stares they were getting from the other passengers. Mainly because of Hisoka. How often do you see a 6-foot-tall shirtless man covered in scars and muscles just casually riding the subway? Not to mention he wasn't wearing anything but a pair of too-small sweatpants. Like literally nothing else. Not even shoes. Kurapika would definitely have to buy him some shoes.

Blatant stares and upturned noses were all directed toward the odd looking couple. A few stray words like 'Homeless' and 'Male prostitute' reached the doctor's ears and he felt an unexpected twinge of rage. They didn't know anything about Hisoka. Okay sure, he was an odd sight to see but that didn't call for shameless gossip. How could anyone in good conscious blatantly say such cruel things about someone they haven't even met? That was the problem with people. They were always so quick to judge.

Hisoka raised a brow when he noticed Kurapika standing a little more protectively in front of him. The small blonde was glaring at the onlookers.

How. Fuckin'. _**Adorable**_.

He actually thought he could protect Hisoka? Come on, how cute was that? Like a fluffy Pomeranian pup trying to protect a rabid pit bull. It just doesn't happen.

Hisoka's large hand lovingly stroked Kurapika's head. He was such a good boy.

And once again Kurapika tensed up.

Hisoka was… _petting_ him!

"Stop that!" He hissed.

Hisoka responded with a silent chuckle but did not stop.

"I'm not your dog." He was no longer focused on the other passengers, although in the back of his mind he was still angry about their disgustingly rude comments.

Hisoka smiled wider and Kurapika could tell that the redhead was thinking something suggestive.

When the train finally stopped, the doctor did not even try to hide his relief. "Come on." He angrily grunted as he grabbed Hisoka's hand to drag him off. He wouldn't even have to take the subway if _**someone**_ hadn't caused him to crash his car. But that conversation was for another time.

Once they reached the main street, Kurapika tried to let go of the silent redhead's hand but he couldn't because Hisoka was holding on too firmly. He was about to scold the annoying man for not letting go but he stopped when he saw Hisoka's face.

Hisoka looked very jumpy and edgy, like in the worst possible way. His expression was unusual and unpredictable. He was walking down a busy unfamiliar street surrounded by thousands of unfamiliar faces, noises, and smells. Cars were zooming by and honking their horns, men were standing at food carts selling hot dogs and warm pretzels and streetlights were mercilessly flashing down at them. It was all too much. He felt overwhelmed. Everything was slamming into his brain at once and unwantedly filling the blank spaces of his mind.

Kurapika bit his lower lip. Amnesiac patients weren't something he had experience with. It occurred to him that all these new surroundings could be very daunting for someone who had no recollection of ever even being outside.

"I'm right here." Kurapika awkwardly told Hisoka as he gently ran his thumb over the back of the tense redhead's large hand. Killers he could handle. They were ruthless and Kurapika never felt any remorse for them. But he was seriously struggling on what to say to someone who was just simply… uneasy.

Hisoka smiled slightly but his grip on Kurapika's hand didn't loosen.

The doctor decided that it was best if they got some clothes quickly so they could hurry and return to his house where the patient felt safe.

Kurapika dragged the unsettled redhead into a small clothing store, grateful that it only had a few customers in it. "After we get you some clothes we can leave, okay?"

Hisoka wasn't paying attention. He did okay on the subway and even during his walk from Kurapika's house _to_ the subway. But here where everything was much faster and nosier, he was not handling it as well. To say that he was stressed was an understatement. His heartrate had spiked immensely and his senses were sharper than usual. He could hear everything from the wings of the fly buzzing around in the dressing room, to the hitched breathing of a strange man standing at the back of the store.

Hisoka focused on that man. He seemed pretty interested in Kurapika. He was tall, almost as tall as Hisoka, and fairly muscular with long dark grey hair.

Hisoka titled his head to the side when he heard the man whisper to a woman standing behind the checkout counter.

"I think I'll go help that one, Menchi." He told the woman, who was his assumed manager. When he said 'that one' Hisoka knew he was referring to Kurapika.

"Togari, no." She hissed back. "We can't afford another lawsuit. Just sit your ass back and wait for someone to _ask_ for your help." It wasn't the lawsuit that bothered Menchi. She was more upset with the allegations that the lawsuit claimed. It would be very hard for her to internally deny that she worked alongside a sexual assaulter if he kept pulling shit like this.

Togari scoffed and responded with a sarcastic, "Yeah, that sounds like me." Oh, the perks of being the grandson to the rich store owner. Not only did he _literally_ get away with murder, but he was always in a position of power. Nothing could touch him.

And Menchi knew this. There was an incident with Togari before his most current lawsuit. Last year he was accused of sexually harassing a coworker, nicknamed Cluck because of her temper. He was served with papers but before that case could go to court, Cluck was found dead in her home from a drug overdose. Apparently she had a serious heroin issue. Pfft. Yeah right. Menchi knew that Togari's grandfather had something to do with that. Cluck didn't even like the to drink caffeine because she feared it would ruin her health. No way she'd have a heroin issue.

But what could Menchi do?

"Togari…" She said testily. "Leave him alone."

"Or what?" A dare. He wanted her to try and stop him.

Menchi's face heated up in anger but she didn't say anything. Instead she responded with stony silence as she walked away. She hated herself for not saying anything to the blonde kid Togari had his eye on. She knew that because of that, she was just as bad as her coworker.

"This looks your size." Kurapika held out a black button down and pressed it to Hisoka's chest. "What do you think?"

Hisoka could hear Togari approaching and tried to shield the small blonde with his body by standing closer to him. He examined the shirt and pretended that he cared… even though he very much didn't.

"Right. No talking, I almost forgot." Kurapika took a purposeful step away from Hisoka's closeness. Then he eyed Hisoka before picking out more clothes that looked like they'd be his size.

Three shirts, two pairs of pants, a pack of socks, and a single pair of shoes.

Suddenly Togari moved next to Kurapika wearing a very charming and accommodating smile. "Do you need any help, miss?" He didn't even bother glancing up at Hisoka who was standing protectively at Kurapika's side.

"Sir." Kurapika politely corrected. "I'm not a girl."

"Ah… my apologies." Togari chuckled. "It's your hair. It's very beautiful."

"Yes well…" Kurapika looked away. "I don't need any help. My, uh, friend was just about to try on some clothes." Friend was definitely not the right word to use for Hisoka. But he couldn't very well say 'Yeah this guy I found needs clothes so he doesn't have to walk around in my pants for the weekend.'

Oh. That reminded him. He needed to call Leo about setting up an appointment for Hisoka. "Actually you can help me." Kurapika retorted. "Take him to the dressing room please. I need to use the phone. Does the store have one?"

Togari pointed towards the back and Kurapika saw an old style dial phone sitting on the counter. "Thanks. Oh and uh…" He paused. "You should probably keep an eye on Hisoka with those. He might steal them." Kurapika said over his shoulder as he walked away. He knew Hisoka wouldn't steal anything. But he kind of wanted someone watching Hisoka while he talked on the phone. He didn't want the redhead to get into some kind of trouble while he was left to his own devices in this unfamiliar place.

Togari groaned and his polite demeanor melted away when the blonde left. This was not what he had in mind when he first came up to 'help'. "The dressing room is over there." He sighed. "I'll be checking on you in a few minutes and if you steal anything I'll kick your ass."

Hisoka responded with an adorable Hisoka-like smile before he stepped behind the curtain with the clothes Kurapika gave him.

He put on the plain black shirt and grey sweats first and they were very comfortable. Kurapika did pick out some jeans for him to wear but the fabric felt foreign and heavy over his skin. Why would anyone choose to wear such annoying material?

Hisoka put on his shoes and then quickly kicked them back off. Shoes. Another thing that his body didn't feel quite accustomed to.

Over by the phone, Kurapika was finally talking to Leo after the third time calling. For some reason Leo kept forwarding his calls to voicemail.

"What the hell, Leo?!" Kurapika snapped, completely frustrated with how his weekend was going so far.

" _Oh!"_ Leo sounded surprised. _"Pika! I didn't know it was you. Did you get a new phone number?"_

Immediately Kurapika felt guilty for yelling. Of course Leo would forward some random number's call to voicemail. "No." He spoke softer this time. "I'm calling from a clothing store. My phone is broken."

" _How did that happen?"_ Leo seemed concerned.

The memory of himself dragging Hisoka in the street through the pouring rain made Kurapika stressfully rub his temples. "Not important. How soon do you get back?"

" _Monday. Why?"_

Why? One word. One question. And yet Kurapika felt like it held the weight of the world behind it. Why?

The blonde sighed and began to tell Leo why he needed to see him.

Hisoka was looking at himself in the mirror. Kurapika had a good eye. He looked pretty good in his long sleeved black shirt and grey sweats. He tried on all the other clothes too but ultimately, he settled on the first outfit.

"He's so fuckin beautiful."

Hisoka perked up from the excited whisper outside the curtain. He could hear Togari on the phone with someone.

" _Yeah?"_ The person on the other line said. _"How beautiful?"_

Togari bit back an erotic moan. "Just Fuckable. I really want him."

The voice on the other end laughed. _"Then take him."_

That earned a soft chuckle from Togari. "I'll bring him to the spot then. We'll take turns riding the pretty little bitch." Then he hung up.

Hisoka held his breath.

He was angry. Dangerously angry. But he didn't understand where his sudden blinding rage was coming from.

Hisoka calmly closed his eyes, almost like he was meditating. He could hear a thousand whispers from his past coming to haunt him but one word stood out among all the others. A word that weighed so heavily in his heart that he knew he heard it often.

_Kill._

Ahhh… that word… yes, it sounded so strikingly familiar... So reliable and comforting. Hisoka felt all consciousness leave his body, as his mind became more animal than man.

_Kill._

What a delightful suggestion... Would that calm his rage? Would that make things all better? Should he take advice from the voices in his head?

_Kill._

No, no. This wasn't advice… It was a command. Ooohh… how erotically stimulating… Yes. Yes, he needed to kill. That was who he was. That's what he was trained to do.

He was a killer.

"Hey!" Togari whipped open the curtain to glare at Hisoka. "You've been awfully quiet in here! You better not be-!"

Hisoka grabbed Togari by the throat and pressed him against the wall. The curtain gently swayed as it closed behind them, shielding the struggle from outside view. Hisoka could hear his own blood rushing through his veins in excitement. He hoped the man would beg. He loved hearing them beg…

Togari desperately tried gasping for air. He clawed at Hisoka's hand and his eyes were red as they bulged out his head. His knee made contact with Hisoka's groin but the redhead only seemed to enjoy the pain. Hisoka's grip on his neck tightened and he slowly lifted Togari in the air.

The dark haired man was trying to scream for help but it was no use. His windpipes were aching under the iron grip that held him, and his lungs burned from lack of air. He kicked his legs in an effort to push Hisoka off of him, but Hisoka was much stronger. Looking into the redhead's eyes, Togari saw something very chilling. He saw the gleam of a monster who had eagerly taken many lives before.

And it was then Togari knew that he was going to die.

Trails of blood from where Togari clawed at his skin, dripped from Hisoka's wrist. Seeing his own blood really excited Hisoka. His golden eyes were locked onto Togari's as he lowered his head and licked the wound until it was clean. A slow malicious smile tugged at the corners of his blood stained lips.

Ohh... this was really turning him on...

Togari was incapacitated with fear. Fresh tears stung his frantic eyes, and as the last fragment of breath left his body, he could only think of one thing to say.

"P-please…"

And to this, Hisoka pressed his finger to his slightly puckered lips and hushed out a soft, "Shh..."

That was the last thing Togari saw before Hisoka's hold strengthened one final time and snapped his neck. The sound of the breaking bone was subtle and easily lost in the other busy sounds of the store. But to Hisoka, that broken 'crack' under his grip sounded as clear as day. It was beautiful.

Hisoka released the lifeless body and coldly watched it slump to the floor.

How unfortunate… He barely put up a fight.

" _Wow, okay I got it."_ Leo said over the phone. _"Bring him to me first thing Monday morning. And if you need anything else let me know."_

Kurapika was so relieved that Leo would take Hisoka off his hands soon. "Thank you. I really appreciate you clearing your schedule for him."

Leo brushed off the gratitude. _"Hey, no problem."_ Then he paused. _"Kurapika?"_

"Hm?" Kurapika looked over his shoulder to see if Hisoka had finished dressing yet. "What is it, Leo?"

" _Just. Be careful, okay? You don't know anything about this guy."_

Kurapika scoffed and thought about the nervous way Hisoka held his hand while they were outside. Then he thought of that big goofy smile and all the annoying hugs and kisses the redhead liked to give him. Right… he seemed like a real killer. If killing with over affection was a thing. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

Leo didn't sound too convinced. _"Yeah but still…"_

"Thank you again, Leo." Kurapika said, gently dropping the subject. "I really appreciate your help. I'll see you on Monday, okay?"

" _Uh, yeah… yeah. Okay."_

Then Kurapika hung up.

When Hisoka stepped out the dressing room, Kurapika had to use every ounce of his willpower not to roll his eyes. "Why aren't you wearing the shoes?" He asked in a tone that sounded like he was scolding a child.

Hisoka answered by frowning and handing the accursed things back to the annoyed blonde. He didn't like shoes. He wasn't used to wearing them so they made his feet feel unnecessarily heavy.

Kurapika sighed but still kept the shoes anyway, hoping that Hisoka would change his mind about them later. "Where's that guy who was helping you? We need to check these out."

Hisoka shrugged. He really didn't know. One second he was trying on clothes, admiring his beautiful self in the mirror, and the next he found himself stepping out the dressing room. Everything in-between was lost in the hazy fog of his memory.

Kurapika sighed as he looked down at the clothes Hisoka was holding. He was grateful that the redhead kept on the black shirt and sweats instead of changing back into Kurapika's pants. Now he at least looked presentable.

"Is that everything I handed you? Did you leave some in the dressing room?" The blonde tried to peek behind Hisoka to check if anything was left behind, but the curtain was closed. "Okay whatever. This will do until Monday."

Hisoka looked down at the remaining clothes in his arms and back at Kurapika. He still didn't understand why they had to get him clothes in the first place. He was fine wearing his earlier attire. Unfortunately, Kurapika still bought the clothes and Hisoka knew he wouldn't get away with walking around without a shirt on anymore.

The shopping trip wasn't as bad as Kurapika thought it would be. He was glad that his foolish decision to bring an amnesiac patient shopping didn't end with the redhead having a breakdown. He would have been able to handle it, of course. After all, he did work with some of the most dangerous criminals in the world. But he was still grateful Hisoka didn't cause a scene. He was seriously not in the mood.

The doctor noticed that Hisoka was extra jumpy on the subway ride home. He watched as the redhead's golden eyes darted anxiously from person to person and he wondered if something happened to make Hisoka upset.

"Are you okay?" Kurapika asked. "Did someone say something to you?"

Hisoka ignored the question. He _was_ upset but he didn't know why. At least not completely. He felt like something bad happened.

"You look nice in your new clothes." Kurapika said smoothly, pulling the mute out of whatever troublesome thoughts he might have been having.

Hisoka smiled, briefly forgetting about his fears as he took in the blonde's compliment.

The lights on the train flickered as it halted to its first stop. This made Hisoka hastily pull Kurapika in his lap and bury his nose in the smaller male's chest.

Hisoka was frightened, but not of the subway train. He was frightened of himself. Of what might trigger him to space out again. He felt… no… he _knew_ that nothing good happened when he got like that.

Oh… but Kurapika did _not_ know this. He was fiercely blushing while he watched some passengers get off and new ones board. Of course they were staring, why wouldn't they? Kurapika was sitting on Hisoka's lap, straddling the redhead in-between his legs. It didn't help that Hisoka's large muscular arms were wrapped tightly around Kurapika's waist, locking him in place.

Under normal circumstances he would've scolded Hisoka for doing such a thing. But this time he could feel Hisoka's body tense up in what Kurapika thought was fear of his surroundings. He felt bad when Hisoka nuzzled his face deeper into Kurapika's shirt, breath hitched, searching for some sign of comfort.

The young doctor tentatively wrapped his arms around the mute's neck and rested his chin on top of a mound of soft red hair. "It'll be okay." He whispered, gently rubbing the nerved-wracked male's back. "I'm right here." He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.

Hisoka calmed down under the comforting words and soft touches. He exhaled a breath of relief and gently kissed Kurapika's chest in appreciation.

Hisoka's eyes were closed as he settled into the warmth of the only person in the world he trusted. Kurapika had his arms wrapped protectively around the mute's neck with his chin still resting on his soft red hair. The blonde occasionally whispered words of comfort to Hisoka whenever the train shook and the lights flickered.

Everyone stared.

How inappropriate. How vile. How disgusting. How dare those two act like this in public! Didn't they care that other people had to ride the train too?! Didn't they care that children were going to see them like that?! It was completely inappropriate!

No… Kurapika and Hisoka did not care.

For they were both broken souls coming from their own twisted pasts of horror and misery. Forever cursed to spend their lives staggering inside a dusky cloud of despair and anguish, they exhausted their days patiently waiting for death to release them of their bleeding sorrow.

There was a word for people like them…

Unsalvageable.

But it was at this moment that something changed. Something that neither one of them expected or understood. Something that was both terrible and magnificent. Something that was both subtle and powerful. Something that would join them in an indestructible bond that even _they_ couldn't rupture.

Because at this moment, as they held onto each other for security and solace, their shattered hearts fit together like two pieces of the same warped puzzle…and they connected.

The practical side of Kurapika's mind was telling him to stop. To let go of Hisoka and remind him that they were not friends. 'Don't lead Hisoka on.' His mind angrily hissed. 'This is nothing more than a doctor/patient relationship. You'll only make it harder on him when you have to get back to your normal life.'

But the other side him, the emotionally neglected part of himself that he had not touched in years, said something else entirely. It spoke to him very faintly, barely heard over the boisterous warnings of his rational side.

It said only one thing as Kurapika tightened his grip around Hisoka and closed his eyes.

Don't let go. Not yet…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _  
> **Author's Note:**  
>  _  
>  _For those of you who don't know, Togari is the instructor Hisoka killed in the Hunter Exam arc. I thought him being Hisoka's first kill since his memory loss was very fitting. Menchi is the food instructor chick in the hunter exam arc. But I'm sure Menchi was easier to remember than Togari. Cluck is the rooster from the zodiac arc. I love her. I usually don't explain who characters are but since they don't have major roles on the show I thought some of you might be confused as to who they are._  
>  _I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter is another look into Kurapika's childhood! It tells the most significant part of his past._
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	5. Gold, Silk, and Fairy Dust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Author's Note:** Maybe I should stop doing author's notes. But... at the same time I like author's notes. _
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It was Sunday afternoon and the odd pair was resting quietly on the couch. Kurapika was sitting on one end reading a book, while Hisoka took up the rest of the couch napping. The doctor looked away from his literature to peek at the sleeping mute from the corner of his eye. Hisoka's breathing was steady and low, he looked so peaceful stretched out like that.

The redhead was laying on his back with one arm draped over his broad chest and the other dangling to the floor. His leg was carelessly tossed over the back of the couch and his head was barely an inch from the blonde's thigh, hair tussled and face still. Kurapika silently wished Hisoka would wake up. His poor furniture wasn't accustomed to being a makeshift bed for such a large man. It was definitely ruined now, all lumpy and misshapen.

It wasn't surprising that Hisoka was so tired though. They had a long night. And morning…

After their little trip to the store yesterday, Hisoka was extremely restless. Even once they were settled back into the house, Hisoka's odd behavior didn't subside. The slightest of sounds put him on edge and made him jumpy. It was as if he was anticipating for something horrible to happen. He even refused to sleep last night because he was so paranoid.

But despite how much of an inconvenience Hisoka was being at the time, Kurapika delicately guided the mute through his little meltdown. He stayed up all night with the redhead and they just talked, or at least, Kurapika talked. He went on and on about nothing in particular. Nothing personal, nothing deep, just hours of rambles about work and the most current book he was reading. Anything that could take the mute's mind away from his distressing mysterious thoughts. The gesture itself was very sweet. It really seemed to please Hisoka that the little blonde was attempting to make him feel better.

Today wasn't as bad. Kurapika managed to convince Hisoka to wait patiently, or at least as patient as Hisoka could be, in the hall while the blonde emptied his bladder, so… Progress!

He didn't realize how much hard work it was being a temporary caregiver. The doctor would have to remember to buy all the nurses at the hospital some gift baskets or something. He couldn't imagine going through this every single day.

Hisoka's sleepy groans pulled Kurapika out his thoughts. He scooted closer to the napping mute and gently lifted up Hisoka's head to place it in his lap.

After spending so much time with him, Kurapika was forced to pay very close attention to Hisoka's behavior and reactions. To his displeasure, he was getting to know Hisoka pretty well.

The most recent thing Kurapika learned about Hisoka was that he was not a fan of being touched. This took the doctor some time to realize since the big brute wouldn't _**stop**_ touching him. To his absolute annoyance, Kurapika was the obvious exception to this 'no touching' rule. He probably never would have figured out that Hisoka valued his personal space had it not been for today's events.

Kurapika ordered lunch and the woman who delivered their food was in complete awe of Hisoka's bright red hair. She went on and on about how soft and beautiful it looked. The redhead didn't really seem to appreciate the compliment, though. He actually looked pretty aloof and uninterested about the whole thing. It wasn't until the woman reached up to touch his hair that Hisoka reacted. It was odd. Almost like Hisoka was seeing something that wasn't there. He recoiled away from her and hostilely seized the poor woman's wrist in his hand. His eyes were narrowed and vacant, and he was gripping her so hard that she immediately started to bruise.

The doctor was able to snap Hisoka out his trance by simply pushing him away and yelling angry reprimands but that didn't absolve the fact that Hisoka _did_ just hurt someone.

Even still, Kurapika wasn't sure if that necessarily meant Hisoka was dangerous. The mute was not only under an immense amount of stress from losing his memory, but judging from his scars, he obviously came from an abusive background. It was only natural that Hisoka didn't like random strangers touching him.

Although Kurapika understood the mute's reaction, he was not fond of it. Especially when the girl threatened to call the police. The last thing the doctor wanted was for the police to arrive. He didn't have a very positive history with law enforcement.

Needless to say, Kurapika had never spent more money tipping a delivery person than he did paying for the actual meal… until today.

Another disturbing thing the doctor noticed was that the more time he spent with Hisoka, the more in sync the two became. It was… unsettling.

It was the little things that bothered him the most. Kurapika was able to sense what the redhead wanted or even felt despite him not being able to speak. They communicated to each other silently, sharing knowing looks and subtle expressions. It was sickening, this bond of theirs. But Kurapika just chalked it up to the fact that they've been stuck in a tiny house together for too long. He was sure once Hisoka went away their silent understanding of each other would leave with him.

Hisoka affectionately sighed as he snuggled deeper into Kurapika's lap. Without thinking, the doctor moved his hand over mute's red locks and lightly stroked his hair. A small smile tugged at Hisoka's satisfied lips as he settled more comfortably under the touch.

Kurapika rolled his eyes and cracked open his book. Hisoka had serious issues. Issues that would have to be explored by someone who wasn't him. The young doctor had no experience with memory loss and knew that the best thing for everyone was for Hisoka to work with Leo as soon as possible. Their odd little… dynamic… made the blonde very uncomfortable. He didn't like the affect Hisoka had on him. Thankfully, tomorrow was Monday and Hisoka would finally be permanently out of Kurapika's life.

The young doctor was still absent-mindedly stroking the sleeping mute's hair as he continued reading his book.

-13 years ago-

Kurapika jumped out the living room window, landing softly on the wet grass below. As quiet as he could, he turned around and closed the window, hoping his parents wouldn't wake up before he returned.

The moon's round face smiled down at him and the stars sparkled in greeting. It'd been a long time since Kurapika saw the sky. It looked so extraordinarily cosmic and intimidating.

Even the crisp breeze on his small frame felt chilling and unfamiliar, like an ominous ghost menacingly stroking his delicate skin. As he breathed in the clean grassy air, his throat burned, unaccustomed to taking in something so pure. His lungs longed for the familiarity of the thick smog of rat pee and garbage.

Almost immediately, Kurapika wished he could retreat back inside the safety that was his toxic home and tuck away in the over protective arms of his agoraphobic father. But he couldn't. His mother was sick with a hazardous fever and it was starting to extend to him and his dad. They needed medicine. Antibiotics.

The pharmacy wasn't that far. Only a 15-minute walk away. He knew that buying over the counter antibiotics was at least 20 dollars and that was way over his budget of 35 cents and a faux silver button he found on the street a while back.

Kurapika tucked his tiny hands in the pockets of his shorts and rubbed his index finger over the edge of the little button for luck. He did this the entire walk to the store.

The icy air-conditioned atmosphere of the off-white pharmacy sent a chill up the boy's spine. He looked around, noticing that he was the only customer tonight. Maybe it was closing soon?

"Can't I help you?" A gruff voice piped up from behind Kurapika.

The small blonde whipped around and saw who he assumed was the pharmacy owner. His nametag said Issei Futamata. The older gentleman looked to be in his late 60's or early 70's. He had long wild grey hair and a matching beard to go along with it.

"Y-yes. M-my…" Kurapika was nervous. He wasn't used to talking to people outside of his parents. Especially people he planned on stealing from. "Parents…they-uh…n-"

"Come on, spit it out kid." Issei fussed. He was tired and had a long day. A clueless kid walking in and wasting his time was making him even more exasperated.

Kurapika flinched, being only a six-year-old isolated boy, he wasn't sure how to speak to a dominating adult. "A-Antibiotics." He managed to say.

"Antibiotics! Over here, over here." Issei quickly ushered the nervous kid to the isle he was looking for and beckoned to all the brands. "Pick your poison."

For a brief moment Kurapika had forgotten his insecurities as the analytical side of his brain clicked on. His eyes scanned over the labels and side effects faster than one could blink. In seconds, he had taken in all the information before him and weighed the pros and cons of each bottle.

He silently reached out and grabbed the one he deemed the safest and most effective.

40 dollars. It was much more expensive than he thought it would be. Not that it mattered. Whether is was 20 or 40, that didn't change the fact that Kurapika came with no money.

Issei stared down at the boy, for the first time _really_ noticing him. The kid looked homeless. His clothes were tattered and stained with what looked like garbage, and his shoes were falling apart under his feet. The thick aroma of piss and waste wafted off the kid with so much intensity that Issei's nose burned.

It became clear to the older man that this kid was not planning to pay for the pills.

"Hey." Issei spoke in a much gentler tone than before.

How would he get the medicine out of here without the old man seeing? There were no other customers so it's not like he could use that as a distraction. "Hm?" Kurapika looked up.

"Are you hungry?"

The question took the small blonde by surprise. He didn't spend much time with outsiders but he was pretty sure that offering food to random kids late at night wasn't appropriate. "Uh…no…" And of course, his stomach had to growl right as he said that. In truth, he was starving. The last thing he ate were some old carrots his mother gave him.

"Come on." Issei nodded his head towards the checkout counter, encouraging Kurapika to follow. "It's your lucky night. My wife packed roast beef and potatoes." He chuckled a little as he reached behind the counter and pulled out a brown paper bag. "I love her but she's not a very good cook. The only thing she can make successfully is… well, this." The old man looked over his shoulder and saw that the child had not moved.

What Kurapika said next was spoken so prudently that it shocked the grey haired store owner. "Are you going to kill me?"

"What?!" Issac almost dropped his bag. "No! Why would you even ask that!? Shit, kid!" What the hell was wrong with him?

The little blonde shrugged. "You're offering me food. I read a book once about an adult who poisoned a kid with food. Then he killed him. Are you about to do that to me?" He asked the question so casually that he may as well have been asking the time.

"No! Damn. Could you stop asking me that? I was only offering because you look so damn scrawny."

Kurapika didn't believe him.

The bag crinkled softly as Issei opened it and pulled out two containers. One was filled with roast beef and the other was filled with roasted potatoes and broccoli. "Look." He opened the first container and completely missed the ravenous shiver the aroma sent down Kurapika's spine. Good lord that smelled so good.

"It's not poison." Issei popped a piece of roast in his mouth to prove his point. "Here." He held the container out to Kurapika while reaching for the potatoes.

Seeing the old man take the first bite was all the reassurance Kurapika needed to know it wasn't poisoned. The little boy greedily snatched the plastic dish and stuffed his mouth full with handfuls of the juicy warm meat.

He wanted to cry. He'd never tasted anything like this in his entire life. The closest he came to eating a home cooked meal was when he was lucky enough to find semi-sanitary leftovers in the dumpsters behind upmarket restaurants.

But had he ever eaten something that was fresh? Something that was cooked with love and care? Never.

Issei was _very_ shocked with Kurapika's reaction to his wife's mediocre cooking. The kid looked like he was starved half to death. And he probably was. "Uh. Here." He said as he gave Kurapika the bowl of potatoes and broccoli. "I had a big lunch today. You can have this."

Kurapika took the food and sat on the floor so he could eat more comfortably. He carefully set the bottle of pills next to him and smiled up at the generous man who may or may not still kill him later. "Thank you." His voice was muffled by the roast and potatoes packed in his mouth.

Issei lightly chuckled, taking a seat on the ground right across from the boy. "Don't mention it, kid." He was going to offer a plastic fork and knife but decided against it. From the way the kid was scarfing down the meal, it looked like he wouldn't be needing utensils.

They sat without conversation as the hungry little blonde ate his dinner. Issei watched Kurapika eat his food with deep concern. Judging from his ashen skin and abnormally emaciated body, it was safe to say the kid was extremely malnourished.

Issei leaned back on his hands. "When was the last time you ate, kid?"

"Kurapika." He corrected. "That's my name. And this afternoon. My mom made sandwiches." An obvious lie.

"Ahh…. I see." The old man said softly. He sorrowfully looked over the tiny blonde. Poor kid... "I have some carrot cake in the back? Would you like some?"

At the mention of carrots, Kurapika could feel bile rise in the back of his throat. He was assaulted by the memory of the piss soaked carrots his mother gave him sliding down his gullet. "N-no thank you. I'm uh… allergic."

"Oh." Issei nodding in understanding. "Yeah I'm allergic to peanuts, myself."

Kurapika smiled, not really caring. His mind drifted to his parents. "Thanks for the food, mister, but I should get going." Shit. He couldn't very well steal the pills now. Not with the old man so obviously watching him.

As if reading his mind, Issei said, "You can take those." Nodding towards the pills. "It's no big deal."

"What?"

"Yeah it's okay."

Kurapika raised a brow and eyed the old man.

"On the condition that you let me give you a lift home." He wanted to see where Kurapika lived but not for curiosity reasons. Issei needed to know how the boy was living and decide what he should do about it.

"That's okay." Kurapika's shook off the offer. "I can walk." He didn't want this stranger to know where he lived.

But Issei was already grabbing his keys. "I insist. It's either that or you can just give me the 40 dollars for the pills." It was an empty threat; he wouldn't really deprive the poor kid of his meds. But he had to think of _something_.

And apparently it worked.

He needed those pills. His mother has been sick for a long time and he worried that without antibiotics she would get much worse. Kurapika nervously bit his lip before answering. "Fine…" The guy was just taking him home. He clearly didn't want to hurt Kurapika or else he would have done it already. Right?

Issei was very pleased that the kid agreed and kindly led the blonde to his truck. "Just tell me where to go."

Kurapika clutched the pills to his chest the as he settled into the vehicle. He hoped he wasn't making a bad decision by doing this.

"Here?" Issei looked over the ransacked house in front of them. The paint was faded and peeling, shutters were falling apart, and the roof was missing a significant amount of tiles. And even though it was night, Issei could still see the garbage piled up to the windows inside. Was this… really where he lived?

Jin's silhouette moved to in front of the window.

Oh no…Kurapika was horrified when he saw his father looking through the dirty glass. He was gone too long. His parents were awake.

"Thank you for everything." He called over his shoulder as he hastily got out the car.

" _KURAPIKA_!" The sound of Jin's earsplitting fearful call made Kurapika wince.

He dragged his feet as he walked to the house, clutching the medicine tightly against him. He didn't even bother looking back at Issei, who was watching him just long enough to make sure he made it safely inside.

Kurapika climbed through the window, he couldn't use the front door for… obvious reasons, and Jin slammed it shut so hard that it was no wonder the glass didn't shatter.

Immediately, Kurapika was pulled into an eager desperate hug by his mother. Her cheeks were wet from crying while he was away. "Captain brought you back! I knew he would!"

"No, mom." Kurapika relaxed into his mother's love. "It was a store clerk." As he said that he could hear Issei driving away.

His father stood over them, visibly very furious.

"Dad?" Kurapika spoke tentatively.

"Kurapika." Jin was nearly shaking with rage. "What the _hell_ where you thinking!? You brought him to our house!"

"Who? The old man? Dad, he's fine."

He wasn't listening. "He's not safe. Outsiders are **NOT** safe!"

Kurapika gently pulled away from his mother and touched Jin's hand. "Dad… no one is going to hurt us." He promised. "Just rel-"

"What are those!?" Jin's eyes widened as he noticed for the first time the pills Kurapika had. "Whose are those? Where did they come from?!" He snatched the bottle away from his son and examined it. "Poison…" He whispered. That man who drove Kurapika home. He gave him poison!

Kurapika felt his heart pound anxiously in his chest. The thought of his dad damaging those pills really terrified him. They needed them. "I got them from the pharmacy, Daddy." Kurapika kept his voice light and relaxed. He was hoping that if he showed his dad that he wasn't worried, then Jin would calm down as well.

But Jin just shook his head again and held the pills further away from his family.

"Dad…" Kurapika sounded strained and his smile wavered.

Jin still wasn't listening. His eyes darted around the room like the answer to his fears was hiding among all the trash. "No." He felt suffocated. The poison was seeping out the bottle and killing him. He could feel it. "No, these have to go. We have to burn them before it's too late."

"Dad…" Kurapika held out his hand. "Give me the pills." If his father didn't listen, Kurapika would be forced to just take them.

Kurapika's voice faded into the background as Jin looked over to the partially buried kitchen sink.

There. He could get rid of them there.

"Dad!" The small blonde jumped forward to try to snatch away the bottle, but his father pulled back causing Kurapika to fall face first in the mushy garbage. The putrid smell quickly enveloped over all his senses.

Jin climbed over piles of trash and began searching through the cabinets for a lighter.

Inwardly denying her husband and son's erratic behaviors, Suzuka fussed over helping Kurapika back to his feet.

And what Kurapika saw made his heart drop.

Jin dumped the pills onto a piece of newspaper, wrapped the medicine tightly inside, then held a lighter under the balled up contents.

"Dad." Kurapika was forcing himself to stay calm, but his palms were nervously sweating. "We need those. We're sick." He hoped explaining why they needed the medicine would be enough to stop his father. "If we don't take the pills then we could die, dad."

"We need to be safe." Jin muttered. He was talking more to himself than his son. He didn't even register everything Kurapika was saying.

Hearing that his dad wasn't even paying attention, frustrated him. They couldn't survive if his father did something to those pills. "It's just medicine…I promise it won't hurt us."

"No. We need to be safe…" Jin was shaking his head. "We need to be safe." He wouldn't allow his family to be poisoned. "I'm sorry, Pika…" Then he snapped on the lighter and lit the enclosed the pills on fire.

"No!" The small blonde wailed he watched his father throw them in the sink to burn.

He yanked out his mother's grasping arms and stumbled over to the flaming medicine. "No, no, no, no!" Hot tears were angrily streaming down his cheeks as he tried to suffocate the fire with an old dishrag. "What did you do?!"

Jin backed against the wall and covered his ears. "Shhh…" He slowly slid to his knees.

Kurapika lifted up the burnt pills in his hand and his tears dripped down onto the charred mess. They were ruined. Completely seared and blackened. There was no way they'd be able to use them now. They were all going to just get sicker and sicker until eventually there was nothing left of them.

His long blonde hair draped over his shoulders and dipped into ashes remaining in the sink.

Suzuka moved next to her son. "Pika…Your hair. Be careful."

The young boy closed his eyes.

He was tired. Tired of his father's irrational delusions. Tired of his mom's obsessive hoarding. Tired of his parents being senseless. Tired of everything. He just wanted normal parents. He wanted a normal life.

With tears running down his cheeks, the angry child spun around to face his mother. "It's just hair, Mom!" He snapped. "Nothing is going to happen if it gets dirty!"

Her son's sudden outburst surprised her. He wasn't normally like this. "But…" Suzuka's voice faltered. "Bad things will happen." Her lip trembled, shaken up from the yelling. "Remember? Y…you said that it keeps the bad things away."

Paying no mind to Suzuka and Kurapika's distress, his father began to rock back and forth. His fingers tingled and he could feel his blood burning like hot coals under his skin. "I can feel it, Pika…" Tears welled up in Jin's eyes as he looked desperately to his son for consolation. He didn't understand that what he was feeling was all in his paranoid head. He needed Kurapika to guide him through his meltdown. "I didn't stop it in time. I can feel it inside me."

Kurapika held back a frustrated growl.

It seemed like he was always doing this. He put his parents needs and their happiness before his own. He was never permitted to just be a kid. To yell and scream. To throw a tantrum when he was overwhelmed. He always had to be strong. The one who shut himself off for the sake of everyone else.

He was tired.

So for the first time in a long time, Kurapika allowed himself to act his age.

"Dad!" He threw down the worthless pills and glared at his even more worthless father. "It wasn't poison! It was medicine! Medicine that you ruined for no reason!" His words sounded so cruel that it almost surprised Kurapika himself. Something inside him told him to stop. Something inside him told him that he was making everything worse.

"P-Pika…" Jin reached out for his son. Kurapika's yelling did, in fact, make things worse. Jin felt the burning sensation spread from his blood to his heart. He was crying in desperate agony. "Please…" He wanted to hold him. To kiss him and rock him in his arms. That always made him feel better. That always made the bad things go away.

"No!" The small boy took a step back. "You messed up our only chance to get better, daddy!" Kurapika screamed as he yanked at his own hair in frustration. Now what were they going to do? "You ALWAYS ruin everything! Both of you! Why do you have to be like this!?"

Suzuka didn't fully understand why her son was upset. She felt like she was supposed to do something to make it better. But what do mothers do during this part? What is she supposed to say? She didn't know. "Do…" She sounded like a frightened child as she attempted to utter something that would calm her son. Only one suggestion came to mind. "Do you… want me to tell you a story…?"

"No!" The last thing he wanted was a story. "I want you to be normal! I want you both to be normal!" He shouldn't be saying this. Not when he could see the fragile hearts of his parents' breaking right before his eyes. He just couldn't stop. He was too far gone. Why did he always have to be the one who took care of them? Why couldn't someone take care of him for once? He was only a boy. He was only six years old!

"I…" Suzuka's voice shook like she was about to cry. Kurapika was upset. She didn't know what to do. What was she supposed to do? She wanted to be a good mother. She wanted to make him feel better. "O-once upon a time…"

"Just stop, Mom!" He didn't want a story! He wanted her to tell him that she would change. He wanted her to promise him that she would stop being mentally ill. It was an irrational request but at the time, that was the only thing in the world that would calm Kurapika.

But she couldn't give him that. She could only give him her devoted love and affection. Suzuka nervously bit her lower lip before she continued. "There w-was a boy…" A story would help. A story would fix everything. It always fixed everything.

"Damn it!" He stomped his foot. Telling stories wouldn't help! It wouldn't fix anything. It _never_ fixed anything! "I don't want a story!" Why wouldn't she stop? He hated this. He hated her.

She couldn't stop. This was the only way she knew how to help him. Her tone was soft and cautious. "With m-magical hair…" She needed him. She loved him.

"Mom!" His parents were a curse. They were ruining his life.

"Made of gold, silk, and fairy dust…" Her son was her blessing. He gave her life.

Kurapika was now more frustrated than he'd ever been.

He was not going to do this anymore.

Kurapika snatched a dirty knife out the sink. "Mom!" And held the blade to his hair. "There's no magic. There never was and never will be! It's just a story!"

"No, no no…" Jin chanted softly as he looked down at his shaking hands. The poison was spreading. "No, no, no…" He could feel it. He was dying.

"It's not real!" Kurapika hissed through clenched teeth. "You need to grow up!" He wanted her to be a mother. To come over to him and tell him everything was going to be okay. To bake him cookies and run him a bath. To take him to school and check his homework. To ground him when he came home late and scold him for not cleaning his room...

But she didn't. That was something she could never do.

Kurapika grabbed a handful of his golden hair and wrapped it tightly around his fist. Miserable tears welled up in his eyes.

"NO!" Suzuka cried out. "Don't! Please! You'll let the magic out! Bad things will happen!"

And then the tears spilled over his cheeks and ran down the small boy's face. His hands were trembling and his knees quivered. He was hurt…so he wanted to hurt them.

"Bad things have already happened…" He whispered, and in one swift motion he ripped the knife through his hair.

Soft golden locks gently cascaded to the ground and landed in a pile at the boy's feet.

"No!" Suzuka screamed and dropped to her knees. She pounded her fists into the garbage and wept to the ceiling. Kurapika succeeded in hurting her. Her heart was broken.

Suzuka entangled the golden locks around her fingers and pressed them to her lips. Her distressed hiccups mingled in with the sounds of her wounded sobs of misery and despair.

And instantly, Kurapika regretted what he did.

He stood up straight, holding the knife loosely at his side.

He was tired…

The knife fell to the ground and the small boy dragged himself over to the bed made of old pillows and blankets.

He was angry at himself for what he had done and he was angry at his parents for not being sane enough to console him. His chest stung with guilt and he hated himself for being so cruel. He realized that they weren't the ones who ruined everything.

He was.

He was evil and selfish. It was good that his father burned the medicine. Kurapika deserved to die for what he did to them. He was worthless.

Kurapika cried as he listened to the tragic weeps of his parents. He was the worst son ever. He didn't deserve them. He was so sorry.

He continued to cry until his light sobs subsided and eventually he drifted off to a depressed sleep.

Half an hour barely passed when Suzuka leaned over Kurapika with one hand on her hip and the other lightly tapping his nose. "Pika~" She sang sweetly.

Kurapika slowly opened his eyes. "Hm?"

His mom kissed his forehead and gleefully whispered, "Captain is here."

Captain?

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Kurapika jumped up. Someone was at the door.

"Open up! It's the police! We have a warrant for the immediate retrieval of the child."

Suzuka turned towards the door and cupped her hands over her mouth. "Coming, Captain!"

Immediately, the blonde knew that Issei must have contacted the police after he dropped him off.

Shit! Kurapika frantically crawled over to the counter and switched on a little lantern so he could see better.

They had to get out of here quickly, before the police could burst through the doors.

"Mom?" Kurapika turned nervously to Suzuka who seemed not to have a care in the world.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"I said open up!"

Kurapika bit his lower lip. "W-where's dad?" His dad was always hovering around them, making sure they were safe from imaginary dangers. But not now.

Suzuka shook her head. "He had to get the poison out." She mumbled. "I told him to wait. That Captain would get it out for him…"

No…

Kurapika's heart pounded in his chest as he started climbing over in the trash to find Jin.

He saw the older man lying on a large piece of cardboard thrown casually over a pile of old food. "Daddy!" Kurapika rushed to his father's side.

In his rush, he slipped in a puddle of something wet and fell into drenched litter next to his father.

"D-daddy?" He looked down at Jin and a sharp cry caught his throat.

His father's skin was pale and his eyes were staring lifelessly into Kurapika's. The knife Kurapika used to cut his hair was lying in Jin's open palm. His wrists were slashed so deep that Kurapika could see the bone peeking from under the squishy pink flesh.

Blood. That's what he slipped in. He was soaking in his father's blood.

"I told him to wait..." Suzuka said softly beside Kurapika.

The small child lifted his father's head and carefully placed it in his lap. Chilled thick blood was seeping through his clothes as he wrapped his tiny arms tightly around his father's head.

"Daddy…"

Jin had no intention of killing himself. He was only trying to get rid of the poison he thought was riddled in his body. He kept slicing deeper and deeper into his flesh, insisting that it was still inside him. Insisting that if he didn't get it out then he would die and it would spread to Kurapika and Suzuka. He was only doing what he thought fathers were supposed to do. He was trying to protect his family.

"We're coming in!" Bellowed the commanding officer's voice from outside the house.

Kurapika could hear the police struggling to push open the door. Their heavy bodies banged against the sturdy frame, slowly moving the garbage that blocked the entrance aside.

He closed his tear-filled eyes and buried his nose in his dead father's hair.

This wasn't happening.

This wasn't happening.

This wasn't happening.

"Captain's here." Suzuka whispered.

Hurried footsteps were heard trekking through the heaps of rubbish.

"Holy shit." One of the four officers said as he shined his flashlight on Kurapika and his father. The small boy was covered in blood as he brought up his shining eyes and looked towards the men. His lips trembled and his hands gently stroked Jin's cold cheek.

"My daddy…" Kurapika whimpered.

"Fuck." Another one hissed. He took a small step forward and held out his hand. "Come here, kid."

Suzuka frowned. None of these men were Captain. They were thieves here to steal her Kurapika. She wouldn't let them.

She picked up the knife that was in her husband's palm and protectively wrapped her free arm around Kurapika's shoulders. "Go away!" She pointed the weapon at the policemen. "Go away right now!" She couldn't lose Kurapika to them. She couldn't be all alone.

They all put their hands in the air to show her they didn't mean any harm.

"We just want to help the little girl." One of them said, referring to Kurapika. "We need to get her to a hospital."

Suzuka shook her head. The hand that clutched the knife was shaking. "He's mine…" She whispered. "Mine." No one was going to steal her baby. They belonged together. They were a family.

She pressed the knife to Kurapika's neck.

"Hey." The biggest of the four put his hand on his gun. "Put it down."

Kurapika soundlessly watched the scene play out in front of him. His father's head seemed to be getting heavier in his lap and he was beginning to feel lightheaded. "Mommy…" He heard himself whisper.

The police pulled out their guns. They didn't want to shoot her but they would if she gave them no other choice.

Suzuka shushed her son and rubbed his blonde shoulder length hair. Why was he so worried? They were going to be fine. Everyone was going to be fine. Their souls would join Jin's in blissful harmony and they'd all be together again.

"It's okay…" She breathed out as she kissed the top of Kurapika's head. "I forgive you for cutting your hair…" It was time for her to be a good mother. It was time for her to be everything Kurapika wanted. Maybe she could only be that…in the afterlife… "W…we'll find some more magic soon… o-okay?" Her voice broke as she spoke through her gentle weeping.

Kurapika's sob caught his throat. "Okay..." He was sniffling when he tilted his chin up to look at his mother. His neck was perfectly exposed for her. He disappointed them earlier, but he would not disappoint them now.

He was ready to die.

Tears gently rolled down Suzuka's face as she raised the knife in the air to slice her son's throat. Everything would be okay soon. "I love you, Pika."

The small blonde closed his eyes, and suddenly the room was filled with the ringing sound of gunshots.

Something thick and warm splashed across Kurapika's face. He tasted the metallic flavor of blood. Was this his?

His eyes burned from the downpour of blood as he opened them.

And he saw his mother…

Soft gurgling noises came from the back of Suzuka's throat. She was shot three times. Twice in her neck and once under her eye. Slowly, she released the knife and fell into a pile of gore and garbage. Her warm blood mingled with Jin's and both dark red liquids swirled around the resting body of their son.

And then everything in the world disappeared.

Kurapika was alone, sitting in a bottomless black abyss covered in the gore of his dead parents, abandoned and orphaned.

He wished he could rewind time. He wished he never accepted the ride home from Issei. He wished he never fought with his parents. He wished he never cut his hair.

He wished he had been a good boy.

He didn't care that they weren't normal anymore. He'd stay up a thousand nights and tell them a thousand stories if it meant he could see their smiling faces once more.

"Mommy…" He whined.

The echoed sound of Suzuka's joyful carefree voice danced in his mind as Kurapika closed his eyes and felt himself start to fade away.

' _His hair was made of gold, silk, and fairy dust…'_ She whispered.

He was taken back to the memory of the tender way his parents would embrace him.

' _And he knew to never cut it.'_

He imagined his mother playing in his long blonde hair while his father rubbed his back.

' _Because if he did,'_

He reached over and held his mother's blood-soaked hand.

' _he'd let the magic out.'_

Tears flowed freely down Kurapika's face, mingling in with his parents' blood.

' _And bad things will happen…'_

Kurapika was still sitting with his father's head in his lap and his mother's fingers intertwined with his own. He deeply exhaled as he pressed his forehead against Jin's. His tears descended onto his father's cheek and rolled down the lifeless man's face.

At last… Kurapika was able to slip into unconsciousness.

-Now-

Kurapika shivered.

The action made Hisoka pull the doctor in-between his legs and wrap him in a warm hug. He buried his nose in the crook of the blonde's neck and gently nuzzled him.

Of course, this caused Kurapika to sigh in annoyance but he didn't even bother trying to pull away. It was pointless anyway. Hisoka would just pull him back in his lap sooner or later. The defeated doctor rested his chin on the palm of his hand and allowed the mute to cuddle him.

"We should go to bed soon." Kurapika mumbled. They finished dinner hours ago and had spent the remainder of the evening sitting quietly in each other's company.

Usually, Kurapika would try to force out awkward small talk when he was hanging around someone this long, but Hisoka couldn't talk anyway so it's not like it mattered. He actually felt… surprisingly relaxed with the redhead.

He _hated_ it.

He was very grateful that tomorrow Leo would take Hisoka's case.

Hisoka's fingers carefully brushed through Kurapika's long golden hair and he softly hummed a sweet lullaby-like tune.

Kurapika wanted to relax into the touch and that thought alone made him tense up again. "Alright. It's definitely time for bed." Kurapika said while standing up.

Hisoka stood up too.

"No. I'm not staying up with you again." Kurapika said wearily. "I'm tired." Staying awake with Hisoka last night was really taking its toll on the exhausted doctor. He needed sleep.

Hisoka frowned. He was far more attached to Kurapika than he was his first night here and he could sense that Kurapika, whether he liked it or not, was beginning to become attached to him too. Hisoka didn't want them to be apart.

Kurapika could almost feel the negative emotions emanating off the redhead and he sighed. "You'll be okay. I'm just going in the other room."

Hisoka shifted from one foot to the other, becoming increasingly more upset.

Good lord, the mute was so annoying! Kurapika closed his eyes and exhaled. "Fine!"

Hisoka's eyes brightened as he smugly followed Kurapika into the bedroom. He was very pleased that his guilt trip actually worked.

"But you're sleeping on the floor." Kurapika told him as he threw down an extra blanket and pillow right beside his bed.

Eh. Hisoka didn't care. Being near Kurapika calmed him somehow. Like Kurapika was some sort of special type of antidote that kept him from slipping into his own wicked darkness.

Kurapika laid in bed and turned over on his side. He was pretty annoyed when he saw Hisoka happily snuggled on the floor, grinning up at him with that stupid Hisoka-like smile of his.

"What?" Kurapika barked.

Hisoka's grinned twitched, like he wanted to laugh. Kurapika was so adorable.

"Stop looking at me like that." The doctor was not the least bit amused.

In an attempt to change how he was looking, Hisoka stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes. He was such a smart ass.

A small smile tugged at the corner of the blonde's lips and he quickly forced it away. "Idiot." He mumbled while covering his head under the blankets. If Hisoka was going to act like a child, then Kurapika wasn't even going to pay him any attention.

Just as Kurapika was about to drift off to sleep, he felt some light shuffling under his blankets and something warm wrap around his hand.

His eyes shot open and he peeked over the bed to see Hisoka was still laying comfortably on the ground, only, this time, he was holding Kurapika's hand lovingly in his own.

The doctor was stunned. "W-what are you doing?" His eyes darted from their intertwined fingers then to Hisoka's satisfied expression.

Hisoka responded by giving the blonde's hand a small affectionate squeeze.

And Kurapika scowled…

But he didn't pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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>  **Author's Note:**   
>    
>  _You know, Issei Futamata? The pharmacy owner in this chapter. Yeah, he's actually the old man who leads Kurapika's clan in the original HxH. But in the manga he wasn't assigned a name so in my story I just named him after the voice actor who played him._
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> _The next chapter finally reveals where Hisoka came from!_


	6. Then and Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> _**Author's Note:** _ _I love Hisoka! I love his character more than I've loved any character from any show/book/manga, ever. I really have fun writing with him in these types of chapters because I like giving my redheaded baby some much-needed depth._
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>  
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> _**Disclaimer:** _ _Some cruel treatments happen to Hisoka here. If you're sensitive to abuse, I advise you not read this chapter._
> 
> _**HEADS UP:** _ _Just so everyone knows, I am fully aware that Chrollo and Kuroro are the same people. HOWEVER, in this story they are separate people. Why? Because fuck it, that's why._
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> _Enjoy, loves~!_
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~Then~

"Got two more today, boss." Uvogin crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. His hair was in a big ponytail at the top of his head and he wore rugged grey jeans and a white muscle shirt. The large 20-something year old man was chewing a piece of gum, visibly proud of his 'catch'.

"Yeah?" Kuroro looked up from his computer screen with a raised silver brow. His old wrinkled forehead was furrowed in pleasant surprise. He didn't bother hiding his excitement. It'd been a while since they got new blood. Their most current test subjects were already perishing from all the chemicals being injected into them. Kuroro knew that they'd die soon so these new ones came in just in time.

The silver-haired scientist stood to his feet and moved to pat Uvogin on the shoulder. "Let's go take a look then." Kuroro's voice was worn and it definitely revealed his old age. His eyes were a tired grey and it was clear to everyone who saw the older gentleman that he had seen a lot in his lifetime.

The two walked quickly through the halls to the holding cells that contained the new subjects. Kuroro had a little excited pep in his step that Uvogin thought was pretty amusing.

"Yeah I found them just wondering the streets. I'm pretty sure they're homeless." Which was ideal when it came to taking minors. They didn't want to worry about any troublesome families lurking around. With much joy, Uvogin added, "And they're pretty young too…"

"Oh?" Kuroro's eyes widened. He loved the younger subjects. They lasted longer than the adults. "How young?"

"Eight, maybe? Or nine?" He rolled his eyes upward as he tried to think. "I know one of them is eight for sure. But when I asked the other one's age…"

"When you asked the other one's age…what?" Kuroro pushed open the door that led to into the room with all the holding cells.

Uvogin slightly frowned at the memory as he led his boss to the first new subject. "He bit me."

That earned a hardy laugh from the scientist. "Oh? How interesting!"

Uvogin's frown turned into a smile and he chuckled with the boss. "Yeah… I guess it is." He shrugged his shoulders. "I think he'll be my favorite."

They were standing in front of a small cement cell with thick iron bars. On the ground was a petite dark haired boy staring silently at the wall.

Kuroro eyed the longed haired child with great interest. He wasn't acting like the other children they had captured before. He wasn't crying or begging to be released. He was just… sitting there… as if he had already accepted his fate. "Good evening." The doctor's voice was loud and friendly. "My name is Dr. Kuroro Lucifer; I can tell it'll be a pleasure working with you."

The boy didn't move. His eyes were still solely focused on the wall. His beautiful midnight hair spilled over his shoulders and cascaded onto the cold cement ground.

"Hey!" Uvogin banged on the bars to get the boy's attention. "Don't be so _fuckin_ disrespectful! Say hello to your new master!"

Leisurely, the boy's large black orbs moved from overhead and crept over to the two adult figures before him. His entire essence was drained of all emotion and it sent excited chills up Kuroro's spine. The scientist had a really good feeling about this one.

"What's your name?" The old man asked through his smile.

The boy's voice was a dull monotone. "Illumi."

"Illumi~" Kuroro sighed out. "Beautiful." He lightly tapped one of the bars with his index finger. "From this moment on, you aren't allowed to speak anymore, understood, Illumi?"

Illumi reacted with a slow unresponsive blink before going back to staring at nothing.

Kuroro smiled. "Good."

Suddenly, the old man cocked his head to the side when he heard an angry yell coming from further down.

Uvogin scoffed. "Noisy little fucker." As he said that, another frustrated yell mixed in with a sea of curse words emanated from the other cell.

Kuroro chuckled. "He sounds delightful."

"Yeah." Uvogin said with a grunt. "Just the word I was going to use. _Delightful_."

They went to visit the other newly caught subject.

Inside the next confinement was a fiery redheaded child pacing back and forth like a feral tiger. His hands were clasped tightly behind his back as his eyes darted frantically around the room.

"Good afternoon." Kuroro smiled as he gently rapped the cell bars. He was very pleased with this one too. The small boy wasn't showing any signs of fear or disorder. Instead, he just seemed angry as he visibly contemplated how to escape.

The redheaded child glanced at the scientist for only a second before turning his attention to Uvogin. His lips stretched in a haughty sneer. "Did you come back to play with me again?" He snapped his teeth at the large man, threatening to bite him once more.

Uvogin cracked his knuckles. "Soon, you little shit."

The kid made a fake show of fear as he dramatically clutched his heart.

Once again Kuroro gently rapped his knuckles against the bars in an attempt to get the boy's attention.

And _once again_ the feisty redheaded kid barely glanced at the uninteresting old geezer who was trying to speak to him.

"What's your name?" Kuroro asked, completely unfazed by the kid's silent treatment.

He turned his nose up, ignoring the old man. He was being deliberately defiant.

The scientist walked over to a medical cart against the wall but still spoke loud enough for the child to hear him. "I'll ask again." He pulled out a little white bag and a tiny jar filled with black liquid. "What's your name?"

The child crossed his arms and still refused to speak.

"You little shit!" Uvogin snapped, completely outraged with such disrespect.

"Hmm…" Kuroro opened the white bag with his teeth and revealed what looked like an electric needle. "Now, now, Uvo… I'm sure he merely forgot his name." The crazed doctor grinned as he pushed a button on the side of the needle, turning the little device on.

This got the boy's attention who looked over to the whirring instrument in cautious curiosity. "What's that thing…?" His tone held a small trace of fear at the unfamiliar tool.

Kuroro's grin grew more devious. "It's to help you remember, my good boy."

The 9-year-old slowly uncrossed his arms and took a nervous step back when the two adults unlocked his cell and stepped inside.

"The other one called him something like… Hisoka." Uvogin moved behind the small boy and roughly seized his arms. "Hisoka~!" He hissed in the redhead's ear. "We'll help you remember that."

Kuroro dipped the whirring needle in the tiny bottle of ink before he leaned over the struggling kid. He grasped a handful of the boy's bright red hair and forced him to look into his eyes. "What's your name?"

Tears welled up in the frightened child's large golden eyes as he tried to yank away from the two men. Uvogin twisted his small arm and the redhead painfully cried out.

The scientist tsked as he wretched the red hair, exposing the back of the child's neck. His teeth were clenched and his eyes wild with giddiness. "What's. Your. _Name_?!" As he growled out the last word, Kuroro pushed the whirring needle into the 9-year-old's neck with so much force that he tore through the kid's flesh.

Bright red blood mingled with black ink and ran down the redhead's pale skin a harmonization of colors.

He screamed and tried to pull away from the torment but Uvogin's hold on him was too strong. His body heaved in agonizingly helpless sobs as he felt the needle rip across his tissue. He couldn't breathe as he felt his neck being abused over and over again by the twisted older men.

Kuroro admired the bloodied jagged ' _HISO'_ on the kid's neck so far. He lowered the needle and assaulted the tiny redhead again as he began to write the ' _K'_ next.

The boy screamed and felt his knees give way under his weight. A burning white light flashed across his vision, temporarily blinding him from suffering. His voice was sore and it cracked under his devastating wails.

' _HISOK'_

The mad scientist cruelly laughed at the scene before him. The boy was bleeding so heavily that the entire back of his shirt was soaked in thick warm blood. "What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!" He roared loudly as he pressed the needle down one last time.

Salty tears drenched his face as the broken child painfully howled out his name.

" **HISOKA!"**

~Now~

"Hisoka."

Kurapika was leaning over his bed to peer down that the stirring redhead. It was only 3 in the morning, but the doctor had woken up to the sound of light moaning and rousing. It was obvious to him that the mute was having a nightmare.

"Hisoka!"

The sound of his own name only seemed to further upset the sleeping man as he suddenly began thrashing about more violently.

The reaction greatly surprised Kurapika, and at the same time, it saddened him. He was no stranger to nightmares and he knew firsthand how vivid and terrifying they could be. The doctor slowly sat up in bed, then carefully slid down on the floor next to the troubled mute.

Even in his unconsciousness, Hisoka could feel a presence move closer to him. Sensing the new threat, the redhead dangerously shot both arms forward and clutched the waist of the person beside him.

He expected a blow to the head or some form of punishment for his hostile actions, but instead, he felt the body wince under his grip and then slowly relax again.

Two soft hands touched the mute's face and instantly Hisoka growled and tightened his hold. He could crush this person. He could kill them right now and no one could stop him.

He felt the hands hesitate only for a moment before they gently lifted up his head and place it in a warm comforting lap.

His hair was sympathetically being caressed as a soothing familiar voice drifted into the air. "Once upon a time…" It suddenly whispered, sounding so heavy with sentiment and compassion.

What kind of trick was this? No. Hisoka would not be fooled. He refused to be deceived. A warning growl emanated from the back of his throat. He could feel that the person he had seized was bleeding under his sharpened nails that dug into their sides.

And yet…

They kept talking…

Kurapika winced, but he still rubbed his hands carefully over the soft red hair as he continued his story. "There was a mischievous fox with silky red fur…"

Why were they being nice to him? He didn't deserve it. He _deserved_ to be punished. He was nothing.

"Who although was very clever, could also be very foolish…" The blonde's thumb softly traced over Hisoka's jawline.

He wasn't worthy of this. He wasn't good enough for such precious treatment. Feeling the concern and fuss coming from this person was upsetting. Who was doing this to him? Who was caring for him? Who was breaking him?

' _What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!'_

"One day… the fox got caught in a hunter's trap…"

He was worthless. He had to be. That's what he's been his whole life. That's what he'll stay.

Kurapika's blood trickled down his sides and still, he did not move away. Hisoka was having a nightmare and that's all the blonde was concerned with.

' _Hisoka~' Uvogin hissed in the redhead's ear. 'We'll help you remember that.'_

"And as much as he tried, the fox could not escape…" The doctor leaned forward and pressed his lips to closer to Hisoka's ear. His voice was a wearied whisper.

"But then…" Kurapika moved so he was now lying beside the troubled mute, the larger man's arms were still wrapped around his waist. "A little blonde squirrel came along…"

Hisoka softly exhaled and his grip loosened. He could feel his nightmares fading away as his mind was filled with the soft angelic voice that lulled him back into serenity.

"And freed the fox from his trap…"

Hisoka knew that he was not good enough to be around this benevolent soul and yet, he decided to selfishly hold on and claim this person as his own personal treasure just for a little while longer.

"In exchange…" Kurapika's eyes gently fluttered shut. His voice was fading as he started to fall back to sleep.

Hisoka vowed to protect his treasure, for it was the only light in his tortured, sinful heart.

"The fox promised never to eat or harm the squirrel…"

~Then~

"Hurry the fuck up." Uvogin's cruel voice barked harshly around the cold empty halls. The burly man roughly pushed the silent, powerfully built, redhead forward.

The sound of heavy metal clanged as the hefty steel door slammed shut behind the three standing figures. They were in a large white room with bare walls and clean tiled floors. It was completely void of everything except for a single white examination table and a silver surgical tray. Both were placed ominously in the middle of the room, directly under a bright dangling florescent light loosely hanging from the ceiling. Sitting on the tray was a bottle of pills and syringe filled with a clear liquid.

The smallest of the three was a woman. She wore a long white lab coat and her fluffy pink hair was in a tight bun at the base of her neck. "Time; 11:56 a.m." Machi wrote a quick note about how they were four minutes ahead of schedule.

The largest of the three, Uvogin, spoke next. "Lunch time."

Hisoka stood in front of the two with his eyes to the floor. His dirty red hair was a scruffy tangled mess as it hung loosely past his shoulders. He wore his usual attire of tattered tan clothes and no shoes.

"Weapon number 44." Machi rhythmically read off her clipboard in the same manner she did every day since she got this job 6 years ago. "Hisoka."

Uvogin's coarse hands were immediately on the redhead's shoulders, forcing him down on the examination table. The redhead winced when his body was roughly slammed against the cold surface. The freezing metal felt unnaturally harsh as it chilled his back through his thin clothes.

"Comfortable, princess?" Uvogin chuckled as he pinned Hisoka's arms above his head and strapped them in place.

Hisoka remained quiet. His muscles flexed threateningly under Uvogin's tight hold and everyone in that room knew that if Hisoka truly wanted to, he could break free. However, the abused redhead did not have the strength of mind to do anything so foolish. Years of punishing torture and cruelty had conditioned him to be completely loyal and obedient to his keepers. His mindset was that of an abused dog who still, even after painful beatings, obeyed and submitted like a good boy.

The large dark haired man strapped the redhead's legs down next and Hisoka arched painfully against the strain.

Machi's heels clicked on the polished floor as she stepped next to the silver tray. She picked up a large needle filled with clear liquid and then jotted down some quick notes. "Weapon 44, Hisoka, given 500 milligrams of modified structural protein via injection and 500 milligrams of modified defense protein via oral ingestion."

The pink haired woman lightly flicked the tip of the needle before moving closer to the restrained redhead. She used her free hand to brush his hair off his neck before pushing the tool into his exposed flesh.

He bit his bottom lip and tightly shut his eyes as he felt the icy liquid enter his bloodstream. His fists clenched and his back arched as the liquid spread throughout his entire body. At first it chilled his blood, so much so that he felt as if his insides were packed with ice, but then, as expected, it began to burn like acid. Every fiber of his being was on fire.

Hisoka titled his head to the ceiling and opened his mouth in a silent scream of agony. Sweat dripped down from the suffering redhead's brow. The aftershock of the injection enveloped over him, burning his insides like fiery coals.

His muscles flexed as he thrashed under the restraints and an earsplitting scream violently clawed its way from the back of his throat. His miserable howls of suffering filled the entire room, and his broken voice shook from the immeasurable amount of pain.

Machi soullessly watched the struggling redhead for a few moments and patiently waited for his screaming to subside. She honestly hated this part of her job. They had to do this every day at the same time and yet the guy still wailed like a wounded animal. But at least his screaming wasn't as bad as it used to be.

"Pain tolerance has improved." She noted out loud. The painful effects of the serum usually lasted for the better part of half an hour. Today Hisoka only reacted to the initial injection and the first wave of aftershock. She would have to notify the boss of the subject's progress later today. He was right when he said that Hisoka would develop to be more resilient than the others. Over the course of the years, Hisoka's pain tolerance had exceeded far beyond any humans'.

Machi opened the bottle of pills and dumped three 4-inch capsules into her hand. The compact protein felt heavy in her palm, each pill weighing almost as much as a large apple. She didn't envy him for having to take these. The hefty weight alone was more than enough to severely damage the esophagus of an average man. They've had many test subjects who've choked to death on these things.

These pills, as well as the injections, were very concentrated forms of protein that attacked the most vital parts of the subject's body. The structural proteins strengthened cells, tissues, organs, bones, etc., etc... It can have the properties to make a lot of physical aspects significantly more superior. Whereas the defense proteins that Hisoka was about to take orally were different. They helped organisms fight infection and heal damaged tissue. Because of this, the redhead was almost completely immune to diseases and airborne sicknesses.

He was fed only what his body needed to stay alive and strong. He was their greatest weapon and there were no lengths they wouldn't go to keep him that way.

Machi looked to Uvogin and nodded. She would need his help for this one. Despite the fact that Hisoka took these pills every day, his survival instincts always caused him to resist during this phase. Because of the weight and size of the pills, his body would involuntarily react as if he were in danger of choking to death, causing the powerful redhead to put up a pretty troublesome struggle.

Uvogin smiled. Oh, how he loved his part. He brought his mouth down to Hisoka's ear and grabbed a fistful of the restrained man's bright red hair. "Open your mouth." He whispered.

Hisoka obeyed and silently parted his lips in anticipation for what was to come.

Machi carefully dropped all three pills into the redhead's mouth then took a few steps back.

Hisoka only coughed at first, reflexively trying to remove the choking hazards from his throat, but Uvogin quickly clamped his large hand over the mute's mouth.

"Don't be so picky, Hisoka." He chuckled.

Hisoka's eyes widened and every cell in his body was suddenly charged with adrenaline as his instincts were sent into overdrive. At this moment, he was not thinking about obeying his captors or avoiding the punishment he was sure to receive for being difficult. His mind was completely shut off and his body was focused on one thing and one thing only. Survival.

"Here we go…" Machi sighed as she took another step back.

Hisoka violently thrashed around in an attempt to remove Uvogin's hand from his mouth. The pills weighed heavily in the back of his throat, blocking his airway and sending painful shockwaves throughout his entire being. Intense involuntary gags racked his body as his eyes rolled back from the lack of oxygen.

The three pills were caught in a jumbled mess halfway down his esophagus. They weighed so heavily that they tore the inside of his throat and the blood pooled around the compact blockage.

Hisoka retched and his chested heaved from his struggled breathing. Suddenly one of his arms broke loose from the restraints and he slammed his fist down against the silver tray.

Machi barely ducked in time to avoid the flying metal platter. " _Damn it_ Uvogin! Do your fuckin job and hold him down!" She mentally told herself that she'd have to inform the orderly they'd need stronger restraints.

Hisoka's lips were turning a light shade of blue as the last of his breath was leaving his body. He pounded his freed fist against the table with so much force that his entire body vibrated.

"I got him." Uvogin grunted as he sat on top of the belligerent mute with both his legs on either side of Hisoka's thrashing body. Uvogin grabbed two handfuls of Hisoka hair and wrapped the red locks tightly around his clenched fists. Then he roughly lifted the mute's head off the table and brutally slammed it back down with all his might.

Hisoka's vision was suddenly clouded and he saw stars. The pain from the impact made the room spin.

Uvogin harshly yanked Hisoka's head up again and slammed it back down on the steel table. Blood from the back of the mute's damaged skull smeared across the silver metal surface. "Don't be so _**fuckin**_ picky, Hisoka!"

And then Uvogin began to deliver a stream of ruthless punishments.

He slammed Hisoka's head down again and watched as more blood added to the collection that pooled around the mute's head. Uvogin's reflection sneered back at him from the dark red liquid and that only encouraged his cruel attacks. He once again slammed down Hisoka's head causing blood to splash over the faces of both men.

"DON'T!"

SLAM!

Hisoka's teeth clattered and he bit his tongue.

"BE!"

SLAM!

Blood dribbled out his mouth and ran down the sides of his face.

"SO!"

SLAM!

He felt nauseated. His head was pounding so hard that it was blinding.

"PICKY!"

SLAM!

And with that final crash, the pills dislodged from the redhead's throat and tumbled down his gullet. At long last, he could breathe. The mistreated mute dreadfully coughed around his aching throat, each cough sending white hot bolts of pain from his wounded skull throughout his entire body. The blood that pooled around his head dribbled off the sides of the table and onto the white tiled floors.

He could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness.

Seeing that the capsules were swallowed, Uvogin released his hair watched as Hisoka weakly parted his trembling lips to show that the pills were gone.

Machi nodded in approval and Uvogin got off Hisoka to stand beside the table.

"Well that was close." Machi breathed out.

"Yeah. The boss would have been really pissed." Uvogin stretched his arms above his head and then scrunched up his nose in annoyance when he noticed Hisoka's blood glossed his hands.

"Maybe I should just give him one pill at a time from now on…" Machi looked over at the silver tray that Hisoka had sent flying across the room.

Uvogin chuckled as he shook his head. "Nah… This way is more fun." Then he looked over at Hisoka

The redhead's chest was heaving up and down while his eyelids were fluttering shut from exhaustion. Sweat and blood soaked his tangled red hair and his free arm was dangling desolately off the table.

"Get up." Uvogin barked. "You still have training today."

~Now~

"Get up…" Kurapika said through a tired yawn. He gently nudged the slumbering mute's shoulder with his own. "What do you want for breakfast today?"

Hisoka slowly peered at the doctor through one sleepy eye and was surprisingly pleased to see that Kurapika had fallen asleep on the floor next to him. When did that happen? The poor thing must have had a nightmare and looked to the mute to console him. Kurapika didn't have to worry. Hisoka would gladly protect him from all his fears.

The redhead drowsily grinned as he affectionately tugged at Kurapika's long blonde hair.

Neither the action or the annoying smile embarrassed the doctor this time. After an entire weekend of dealing with this behavior, Kurapika had become accustomed to it. "You really need to work on your personal space issues…" He mumbled.

At that, Hisoka glanced down at their current position. Kurapika was nestled snuggly under the covers, comfortably sprawled out on the floor beside the smirking mute.

Kurapika followed Hisoka's eyes and blushed. The doctor _was_ awfully close to him right now… and he couldn't very well scold Hisoka for this closeness since Kurapika was the one who moved to the floor. But to his defense, he only did it because Hisoka was having a nightmare!

Noticing the blonde's embarrassment, Hisoka's grin twitched in amusement.

"Oh, shut up!" He snapped while turning his head away to conceal his flushed face.

Okay… so maybe he wasn't _completely_ used to Hisoka's mannerisms yet, but that was okay! Hisoka was going to work with Leo today. Kurapika would soon have his life back.

When Kurapika looked up and saw the arrogant smirk still on the mute's face, he growled in frustration. He stood up and turned his back to Hisoka in an effort to preserve some type of dignity. "I'm going to get ready for work." He mumbled as he walked to the closet to pick out an outfit. "Put your clothes on and then go choose something for breakfast." Then he left Hisoka alone in the bedroom so he could get dressed.

Kurapika leaned forward on the bathroom sink and frowned at his reflection in the mirror. Today was the day. He should be excited, right?

He thought about all the changes Hisoka exhibited over the weekend. It didn't even seem like he'd been with Kurapika for only a few days. The strange acceptance they developed for each other seemed more like a bond that would take years to form.

The doctor sighed as he stripped off his pajamas.

Hisoka had undergone a few personality changes these past few days. It made sense though. The mute went through some type of traumatic event and his mind was working in overdrive trying to fix itself.

Kurapika mentally jotted down some notes in his inner file for Hisoka.

Day 1: Unresponsive to surroundings. Most likely in shock. Attachment to caretaker (caretaker being, Kurapika) was first formed.

Day 2: More responsive to surroundings. The subject seemed to do okay when brought to the store but was jumpy on the subway ride back home.

Day 3: Mental breakdowns. Panic attacks. Something was going on with him internally and it caused him to be extremely jumpy. His attachment to his caretaker strengthened. *Side note: Discovered that subject did not like being touched. (the doctor being the only exception)

Day 4: Mind-

Suddenly Hisoka opened the bathroom door and interrupted Kurapika's thoughts. The redhead held out his arms, showing the doctor that he was finished getting dressed. Hisoka was wearing a plain white tee and black jeans (apparently, Kurapika bought the jeans anyway, despite the mute's disdain for them). Even in such a simple outfit, Hisoka knew that he looked very handsome. He wasn't surprised at all when he caught the doctor's eyes scanning over him.

Damn… Kurapika cursed himself. _Why_ didn't he have the sense of mind to get Hisoka _looser_ shirts!? The blonde hated how toned and muscular the stupid redhead looked in his clothes. Which reminded him…

Kurapika was suddenly horrified as he looked down at his almost naked self! He was wearing nothing but briefs! To make things even more horrifying, it was Hisoka's turn to ogle _him_! Only the redhead was WAY more open about his shameless stares.

Hisoka's eyes quickly darted all over the doctor's body greedily taking in the sight of the doctor. He licked his lips and then Kurapika opened his mouth to speak.

"Hiso-"

In one swift movement, the mute was at Kurapika's side. He wrapped one arm around the blonde's slim waist and pulled him tight against his chest.

Kurapika's breath caught his throat and his chocolate colored eyes locked onto Hisoka's bright sunbeam ones. He was trying to muster up the outrage he knew he should be feeling right now. This man he'd known for barely four days had the gull to hold him so intimately while he was standing in nothing but his underwear!

Hisoka lowered his head and brought his lips only inches from Kurapika's. Their bodies were pressed firmly together and the mute had one hand on the small of the doctor's back and the other entangled in his long blonde hair.

"H-Hisoka." Kurapika had no idea that the redhead could actually hear how fast his heart was beating right now. If he did, then he would have been even more embarrassed. Hisoka's body felt so warm against his own. He wanted to rest his head on the mute's chest and just lose himself in the soft embrace. How long had it been since anyone held him?

Hisoka's thumb affectionately brushed over the blonde's nervously trembling lips. Kurapika was so beautiful. Hisoka had never seen him looking so stunning. His hair was tussled, probably from sleeping on the floor, his eyes were wide with confusion and passion, his lips quivered, slightly parted and subconsciously pleading for Hisoka to envelope them.

Yes… Hisoka knew that for the first time since they'd been together, Kurapika wanted him.

And it was because of that, Hisoka pulled away.

The doctor blinked, stunned for a few seconds. He was embarrassed and angry because it felt like Hisoka purposely toyed with him. But more than anything, he was disturbed by the fact that once the redhead pulled away, he had an empty feeling grow in the pit of his stomach. Like a part of him was stolen.

Kurapika held his breath, unsure whether to whisper or scream. He was unhappy that he wasn't unhappy. He needed to feel extremely violated. He needed to be offended and scream about boundaries. He should have yelled something along the lines of 'Get out!', or 'What the hell is wrong with you!?'

But instead he said nothing. Even as the redhead silently turned around and walked away. Even as the bathroom door closed and the doctor was left all alone feeling mixed up and clouded. He said nothing.

He pressed his forehead against the cool door frame and exhaled. The warmth of Hisoka's thumb still lingered over his lips. Why was he reacting this way? Hisoka probably flirted with him over 50 times during the course of their time together. Something was different this time. Was it because of their intimate moment last night? Was it Kurapika's hesitance to their inevitable goodbye? What was it?

The doctor shook away his concerned thoughts and scowled to himself. It didn't matter. Hisoka was no one to him. They were not friends. They weren't even acquaintances! Kurapika didn't care about Hisoka. The stupid mute could disappear off the face of the earth and the blonde would be 100 percent unaffected. Hisoka meant nothing to him. Absolutely nothing!

And Kurapika kept mentally repeating that to himself hoping that maybe… just maybe… he would start to believe it.

The doctor finished getting dressed and concluded his mental analysis.

Day 4: Mind seems to be reverting back into his imprinted personality. So far, recovering personality traits are playful, confident and-

A small clang in the kitchen interrupted his thoughts. Then Kurapika heard Hisoka shuffling around in the cabinet for some pots. "Hisoka! NO!" Kurapika swung open the bathroom door and stormed in the kitchen. "I'm cooking breakfast today!"

~Then~

It was the dead of night. Machi, Uvogin, and Hisoka all stood silently in a dark alley, illuminated only by the beaming moon and shining stars. Standing in front of them were two men. Gotoh and Kastro.

"Was meeting here supposed to scare us?" Machi spoke softly over the traffic that was heard from the other side of the building. The large structure shadowed over them, making her purposeful bored expression difficult to see. "I guess it's a little dirty but…"

The oldest of the five, Gotoh, merely shook his head. "Your boss was a little short this month. _Our_ boss wasn't too pleased with that."

"Tell Kite he can go fuck himself!" Uvogin barked.

Machi put a warning hand on her comrade's shoulder. "Our boss was short because _your_ boss didn't even deliver the full order."

Kastro spoke next, looking a little bit annoyed. "Right… that shit you use to turn people into weapons." He rolled his eyes almost mockingly. "From what we've heard, that stuff only kills people."

Hisoka looked up at the sky, completely ignoring everything around him. He thought the moon looked beautiful tonight.

"Do you know how hard it is to bring that shit here? We've lost a lot of our own just because Chrollo wants to play mad scientist." Kastro continued.

Machi sighed and rubbed her temples in disbelief. "So what you're saying is…" She paused for a second, completely in awe at their stupidity. "You want Chrollo to pay the same price… for half the product?"

Both Kastro and Gotoh fell silent. Then Gotoh finally spoke.

"I'm sorry to say that's not all." His voice was steady and clear. Although he said he was sorry, he most definitely wasn't. This was business. "We're under orders to send a message to Chrollo."

" _Really_?" Machi crossed her arms. "A message? And what kind of message is that?" She knew. She knew the moment they asked them to meet here.

"You know." Kastro reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun. He held it loosely at his side as if he were holding something as harmless as a phone.

Hisoka glanced at the gun then looked away, completely unafraid.

Machi was tired of their arrogant spewing. They were right about one thing though. A message _did_ need to be sent. "Hisoka." She said softly.

Hisoka felt his body tense up like a machine being powered on.

"Kill them."

At the order, Hisoka's mind went blank. He was no longer in front of two strange men with Machi and Uvogin standing boastfully behind him. He was no longer in a dark back street with his bare feet standing in cold dirty puddles from the previous rain.

No. He was gone. Lost in the bleak abyss that was his mind, a different side of him emerged. His golden eyes clouded over and his body moved to its own accord.

Hisoka's sudden speed shocked Kastro. He lifted up his weapon and fired several shots at the fearsome redhead. The gunshots sounded sharp and harsh as their sound ricocheted around the ally.

Hisoka was able to evade the first two. His eyes easily followed their speed and darting out their direction was simple enough. However, he almost missed the third bullet which grazed the side of his shoulder.

Machi tsked and wrote a mental note about how Hisoka's training would have to be intensified. He shouldn't have been grazed at all.

Kastro's lips parted in surprise when the redhead was standing in front of him. Hisoka grabbed Kastro's hand and with a quick flick of the wrist he broke the man's hand. The sound of the breaking bone was drowned out by Kastro's screaming.

Wordlessly, Gotoh raised his own weapon and rapidly shot Hisoka through his forearm and then his shoulder.

Blood gushed out from the redhead's injuries but he ignored it. He'd suffered far worse pain when training with Uvogin and Machi. He brought his other fist down over Kastro's head before the crying man had time to recover from his broken hand. Hisoka felt Kastro's skull crack under his blow. The bone splintered, poking through his pale hair and cutting the skin of Hisoka's fist.

In the same movement, Hisoka turned around and forcibly shoved three fingers in Gotoh's mouth. A sick cracking sound encircled his ears as he ripped out the dark haired man's two front teeth. Gotoh screamed, desperately holding his hands over his bleeding gums.

Hisoka grabbed a fistful of Gotoh's hair and yanked the older man's head back. The gun clattered to their feet and blood dribbled from Gotoh's mouth.

"Hisoka." Machi's voice was subtle and delicate. "Wait." Despite being disappointed in the fact that Hisoka wasn't as fast as they would have liked, she was quite pleased with his reaction to getting shot. He barely flinched.

Hisoka froze with his hand over Gotoh's throat, his sharpened nails hovered over the dark haired man's Adam's apple, threatening the finishing blow.

Uvogin wore a smile as he strolled next to Gotoh. "You send a message to your boss. Tell him that Chrollo will pay what he's paying now for double the product."

Gotoh's eyes widened as he watched Hisoka, who was still frozen, waiting for his next orders. Was this what a successful experiment looked like? This mindless bloodthirsty beast with no regards for his own life. How many others did Chrollo have? How had he succeeded in creating them without their bodies deteriorating from the chemicals?

"And just to make sure Kite understands that we're serious…" Uvogin lightly tapped the older man's glasses. "Hisoka…"

Hisoka understood. The fingers that hovered over Gotoh's neck slowly trailed up until they reached his eyes. With a speed so swift his hand blurred, the redhead dipped his two fingers in each of the man's eyes and ripped them out their sockets.

Gotoh's mouth opened in shock. The sound of his eyeballs squishing in the mute's fingers were sickening. He sucked in a lungful of air and let out a bloodcurdling scream. Thick plentiful blood gushed out from his empty eye sockets and poured over his cheeks.

Machi nodded, deciding that it was time to turn off Hisoka's bloodlust. "Good boy."

The redhead blinked and his golden orbs came back into focus. He looked down and saw that his hand was covered in blood and thick gooey eye guts. Kastro's body was resting lifelessly at his feet and Gotoh was still screaming in pain.

Hisoka lifted up his palms and stared at the warm red liquid as it dripped softly to the ground. He wasn't afraid. He knew that he had only done what he was supposed to. He was a weapon.

He pressed his bloodied fingertips to his lips and closed his eyes. His hands were only meant for killing.

~Now~

Hisoka carefully pressed Kurapika's fingertips to his lips and closed his eyes. He placed warm loving kisses all over the blonde's injured hand.

"Hisoka, I'm fine." Kurapika rolled his eyes. "I just banged it on the door, I didn't break it."

Hisoka wasn't listening. He still kissed each individual fingertip before finally letting the doctor go.

Kurapika was blushing but cleared his throat so he still looked professional. They were standing in the lobby of the hospital waiting on Leo to meet with up them.

The doctor was pleased that Hisoka handled the subway ride there fairly easily. He just stared silently out the window the whole time, only occasionally looking down to make sure Kurapika was still beside him. He seemed much less jumpy and way more curious about the world around him.

"Okay so his name is Leorio, but you can call him Leo." Kurapika said as he nervously paced in front of Hisoka with his hands behind his back. Oh wait. Hisoka didn't talk. "Never mind. Don't worry about calling him anything."

Hisoka raised a brow and smiled. Kurapika was so cute. Why was he acting so anxious? Everything was going to be fine as long as they were together.

He wrapped his strong arms affectionately around Kurapika's waist and pulled him closer. He was trying to stop the doctor from all his nervous movement.

To the blonde's horror, Hisoka's actions did in fact soothe him…just a little… "Let go." He hissed, but on the inside what he really wanted to say was, 'Please don't let go.'

And Hisoka didn't.

"Pika?" Leo was suddenly standing in front of them holding a clipboard and wearing his white lab coat. He eyed Hisoka suspiciously then looked down at the blushing blonde. "Everything okay?"

Kurapika's blushed deepened as he tried to talk normally as if he wasn't being embraced by a strange, albeit handsome, man. "Um… Yes, everything's fine." He cleared his throat to keep his voice from shaking with embarrassment. "This is Hisoka. The one I was telling you about."

"Oh!" Leo's expression brightened and he politely held out his hand. "Hello, I'm Leorio." He was pretty excited to meet the mystery amnesiac who had been giving his coworker so much trouble. The redhead seemed pretty friendly from the way he was holding Pika.

Hisoka scowled at Leo's extended hand and looked away.

"Yeah…" Kurapika grumbled, unhappy with Hisoka's rude behavior. "He doesn't like being touched…"

Leo raised a brow. " _Really_?" He eyed the way Hisoka cuddled Kurapika in skepticism.

Noticing this, Kurapika pulled away from Hisoka. "Yeah, trust me. Don't touch him."

Leo just shrugged his shoulders. "Okay." He tapped his index finger over his chin. "What else did you learn about him? What's the extent of his memory loss?" He looked over Hisoka as if he were an alien. He'd come across all types of amnesia patients in his career, but Hisoka gave him an odd feeling for some reason.

The blonde shrugged out the way of Hisoka's extending hands as he answered. "He can be a little jumpy."

"And grabby." Leo smiled. "You sure about that no touching thing?"

"I'm serious, Leo." Kurapika warned. "Don't touch him. He doesn't react well to people touching him." And as he said that, Hisoka snatched up the blonde's arm and drew him back into a hug.

Leo raised a brow.

"As for the extent of his memories…" Kurapika struggled to pull away as Hisoka nuzzled his neck. "I can't really ask him. He's mute."

Now that shocked the tall doctor. "Wait, what?" Leo almost dropped his clipboard. "Mute?! Why didn't you say that on the phone? Do you know how hard it's going to be for me to analyze him?" Mute. This would make his job much more difficult. "Retrograde or anterograde amnesia?"

"Retrograde." Kurapika answered quickly. He may not have been an amnesia specialist but he knew the basics. Retrograde amnesia was the inability to retrieve information before a particular date, usually the date of an accident. While Anterograde amnesia was the inability to transfer new information from the short-term store into the long-term store. Basically, people with Anterograde amnesia can't remember things for long periods of time.

Hisoka definitely did not have a short term memory loss. Over the past few days he's not only remembered Kurapika, but grown more attached to him.

"I need to examine him for any head injuries and then try to find a way to communicate with him." Leo spoke more to himself than anyone else. He looked into Hisoka's eyes, careful to keep his voice very calm and easygoing. "Do you write?"

Hisoka looked away from the doctor, uninterested in entertaining the lanky man.

"No." Kurapika answered with a sigh. "I tried that already."

"I see…" Leo wasn't worried. Usually with recovering amnesia patients, just talking to them over time about basic daily news can help them retrieve their memories. Playing board games, card games, puzzle games, anything that exercised their mind really, was also helpful. "Okay well let's get him checked in and then you can get to work. You're working with Youpi today right?" Leo asked as he led Kurapika and Hisoka out the lobby.

Kurapika nodded as he tugged the redhead by the hand to follow Leo. "Yeah. Youpi King." In all this trouble with Hisoka, Kurapika had almost forgotten that he was supposed to be analyzing his new patient today. His weekend should have been spent writing down notes and theories based off of what Meruem told him on Friday. Not babysitting some amnesiac.

"Here we are" Leo said with a warm smile. Kurapika and Hisoka stepped into a nice clean examination room. Only it didn't look like a room a doctor would work in. It looked more like a lounge room with a large bookshelf, fluffy chairs, and a table covered with puzzles and games.

Hisoka's eyes widened when he saw a deck of cards on the table. He quickly moved to them and snatched them up. They danced over his fingertips as he sat on the couch and snuffled in the same manner he did at Kurapika's house.

"He likes cards." Kurapika blandly pointed out. The young doctor stood by the door and watched the confident redhead do his own thing.

This was it. This was what he'd been waiting for. In a few moments, he'd never have to see Hisoka again. He'd just deal with his own patients downstairs while Hisoka stayed up here to work with Leo. He was… happy… Yes… He needed to keep telling himself that. He was happy.

Leo was a little taken back by Kurapika's worried look and furrowed brow. He'd never seen Kurapika look so… human. "He'll be fine." Leo assured with a smile. "He's got a great doctor." He lightly joked.

Kurapika scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm really worried about him." He said sarcastically. And still… as he said that he couldn't help but keep watching Hisoka who was carelessly shuffling the cards.

"I'll take good care of him." Leo said as he gently ushered Kurapika out. "Let me know how everything goes with Youpi today."

Hisoka stood up when he saw Kurapika leaving. Where was he going? He wasn't supposed to go. Would he come back?

He placed the cards on the table and watched in annoyance as Leo closed the door behind Kurapika.

Once the heavy door was locked shut, Leo turned to the redhead and smiled. "So." He excitedly clapped his hands together. "We have the rest of the day to get to know each other."

Hisoka sat back down on the couch and rested his feet on the coffee table, inwardly moping that Kurapika was gone. His eyes followed the lanky doctor who had walked over to him to try and interact. He was not impressed. This was the guy who was supposed to help him remember things? He barely looked like a doctor. A nurse maybe. Not a doctor.

Leo picked up the cards. His new patient seemed to really enjoy these things. Maybe he could use them to reach the guy. "I haven't played with these in a while." The kind doctor said in a gentle tone. He began to build up a small house of cards on the glass table in front of Hisoka.

"Do you want to help me?" Leo smiled as he carefully added more. He offered the deck to the redhead so he could have a turn.

Hisoka noted that the card house was pretty nicely built so far. It looked very neat and he could tell from the little glint in the doctor's eye that he was kind of proud of it.

So with that, Hisoka lightly kicked the table, knocking down all Leo's hard work.

The cards tumbled down and the brunette's polite smile tightened as his eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

Hisoka immediately took notice of that and his mischievous grin grew wider. He shrugged his shoulders in fake innocence. He wanted Kurapika and _only_ Kurapika.

He'd make sure the good doctor knew that too.

 

 


	7. Sessions

 

Kurapika sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled. He loved this. Being in the lower level filled with killers and cannibals. He was back in his element. Completely in control of everything around him. There were no more surprises.

"Have a good weekend?" The head of security asked as he buzzed Kurapika in. It was odd seeing him sitting at the front desk. Usually, he was doing other, more pressing things during the day.

The blonde ignored the question. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

The big man chuckled. "Nothing gets by you, huh?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Just tightening up I guess. And…"

"And… what?" Kurapika crossed his arms and suspiciously raised a brow.

"And I wanted to ask you something about your patients." The security guard sheepishly admitted.

Oh. Well, that wasn't expected. "Which ones?" He had a lot of patients. Everyone on the lower level was his patient.

"All of them." He said. "Or just the new ones anyway."

"Why?" Since when did the head of security need to know anything about his patients? He never took interest before.

"Well, I _am_ in charge of keeping this hospital safe." The big man snapped. "I need updates on _your_ patients more than others."

" _My_ patients are locked away behind bulletproof glass. I highly doubt they are any danger to you." Kurapika shot back. He didn't like people bad mouthing his patients. Not to mention, the brute of a man was implying that Kurapika couldn't keep his patients under control.

"Look kid-"

"Dr. Kurta." Kurapika quickly corrected.

"Whatever." The guard brushed off the correction with a wave of his hand. "I'm not trying to step on your toes, alright. I'm just trying to do my job."

Kurapika wanted to rub his temples in frustration but he was trying to keep his composer. "Yeah, yeah…" He exhaled. There was no point in arguing. Not after he's had such a stressful weekend. "My most recent patients are the King siblings. Meruem, Pitou-"

"Yeah, I already know about them, kid." The guard rudely interrupted.

"Dr. Kurta!" The blonde snapped. "And those are my most recent patients!" As he said that he could have sworn the guard looked a bit disappointed.

"You sure?" He asked. "There's no one else?"

Kurapika placed his hands on his hips. "I work with some of the deadliest criminals in the world. I think I would remember adding a new killer to my list."

This earned sigh from the guard. "Alright… well just keep me posted as soon as you get another patient."

"Anyone in particular?" Kurapika said sarcastically. He saw something flash across the guard's face when he asked and suddenly he felt concerned. "Hey…" His tone was a bit softer now. "Are you looking for someone, Uvogin?" A family member perhaps? Or a friend. Did Uvogin lose someone close to him that was dangerous? Was that why he was so concerned with who Kurapika was working with today?

Uvogin shook his head. "Who the fuck would I even be looking for? I'm just trying to do my job."

To this, Kurapika threw his arms in the air and started walking away. Good lord, that man was so infuriating. What was his problem anyway? You'd think he lost his puppy from the way he was acting!

"Remember to keep me posted, kid!" Uvogin called as he closed the gate behind the blonde.

"Dr. _**fuckin**_ Kurta!" Kurapika yelled over his shoulder while storming down the hall.

Kurapika was trying to stable his angry breathing when he sat down in front of the glass that separated him from his new patient. Great. His first day back to work and he was already upset. He needed to calm down. Uvogin was not about to ruin his morning.

The doctor closed his eyes and exhaled. His mind cleared of everything around him as his silently flipped on his doctor mode. When Kurapika turned on this side of his brain, he was gone and a new side emerged. A calm, stable, logical side.

When he opened his eyes again he was looking in the face of a very large, muscular man. Youpi King.

He began his mental analysis.

Name: Youpi King

Age: 27

Sex: Male

Diagnosis: Psychopathy - diminished empathy and remorse, associated with disinhibited or bold behavior.

Youpi was sitting on the ground when Kurapika clicked the intercom button to talk to him. "Good morning Youpi. I'm-"

"Don't tell me." Youpi grunted. "You are 'Dr. _fuckin_ Kurta', right?"

Kurapika nodded, unfazed. "Right." He tapped his pen on his clipboard. "You heard that?"

"I'm sure the whole city did, Dr. _fuckin_ Kurta."

"If you'd like, you can call me by my first name. Kurapika."

Youpi sneered. "I think I like Dr. Fuckin' Kurta better."

"It does have a nice ring." Kurapika said smoothly before transitioning to the next subject. "Is there anything you'd like me to call you other than Youpi?"

The large black haired man shrugged. His eyes were looking to the floor.

"Is something wrong?" Kurapika gently asked. He took this opportunity to go over the large man's physique.

The young blonde noticed that Youpi, although the second youngest of his siblings, was very big. He was much taller than Hisoka, who was already pretty tall, and his build was a lot wider and thicker as well. Kurapika's eyes scanned over the man before him. He probably weighed around 280 pounds in pure muscle. Not someone who the doctor would want to tangle with on the outside world.

"It's nothing that you'd care about." Youpi finally answered.

"Try me." The doctor said softly. He was trying to sound compassionate and caring. Although it was hard for him to truly feel those emotions. He wasn't good at feeling anything but negative things. Anger, frustration, impatience. Of course, the events over this past weekend had thrown him for a serious loop. He was suddenly flooded with emotions he hadn't felt for another person in a long time. Consideration, interest, worry.

But now that he's away from Hisoka, his mind is clearer and those feelings are where they belonged. Pushed deep down in the most neglected part of his being.

"What did you do this weekend, Dr. fuckin Kurta?" Youpi suddenly asked. His eyes were lazily watching the doctor but he could not hide the hatred he felt for the blonde sitting in front of him. Misguided hatred that he had to pin on someone for putting him in this predicament. And the only person he had to blame right now was Kurapika.

Kurapika could sense that he was going somewhere so he decided to play along. "I didn't do anything." He lied. "I'm a homebody." Well… that part wasn't a lie. He really was a homebody.

"A homebody." Youpi repeated. "Sounds nice. Did you enjoy being at home with your family, Dr. fuckin Kurta?"

Ahh… Yes. Kurapika could see where this was going now. Youpi was upset he was separate from his family. The doctor wrote a quick note about how the subject could have possible abandonment issues. He also wrote a note that although the subject didn't form attachments with others, his siblings were exceptions. "I don't have any family." The doctor answered in a nonchalant, matter-of-fact manner.

That wasn't the answer Youpi was expecting and it interested him. "None at all?"

Kurapika shook his head 'no'. "None at all."

Youpi whistled and leaned back on his hands. "So a big shot doctor like you must have a shit-ton of friends then."

"Naturally." Kurapika waved off the lie with his hand and quickly changed the subject off of himself. "And you? Do you have friends?"

Youpi scowled. "Does it look like I'm in any position to have a fuckin friend? Who would I talk to? The goddamn wall?"

Kurapika was not fazed in the slightest by Youpi's anger. "Being in here doesn't stop you from having friends." He pointed out. "Your friends could always see you during visiting hours."

Youpi paused for a moment and thought about that. "Yeah…" His voice trailed off. "You're right. Guess that means I don't have any friends." He shrugged his large shoulders and yawned.

"Would you like one?" The young doctor asked.

Youpi scoffed but didn't say anything.

"Should I take that as a yes?"

To that, Youpi scowled. "I'm fairly certain people like me don't make friends."

"People like you?" Kurapika was reminded of his session with Meruem last week. How the cannibal wasn't very fond of being compared to others. He wanted to be different. It made the doctor wonder if Youpi had a similar mindset.

"Don't play dumb, Dr. fuckin Kurta. People like me. Killers."

Kurapika wrote a quick note of how Youpi had no problem openly acknowledging the fact that he was, in fact, a killer. "You weren't always that." He tapped his pen on his clipboard, something he did when his mind was running with a bunch of theories and ideas. "How old were you when you first killed?"

"You mean how old was I when I killed my mother?" Youpi's face was twisted into a frown, but not because he regretted his actions, more so because thinking of his actions only reminded him that he was trapped like an animal at the zoo. "Twelve?" His eyes rolled to the ceiling in thought. "Yeah, yeah... I'm pretty sure I was twelve because it was Meruem's birthday that day." A small smile played on the cannibal's lips. "He was eleven."

Kurapika was taken back by that but he looked down at his notes to hide his surprise. Their files didn't say it was Meruem's birthday when their mother was killed. And Meruem certainly didn't mention it. The doctor scribbled down a reminder to update the date of their mother's death. He also wrote a personal note to speak to the youngest about that day in a more detail during their next session.

When he looked up again, Youpi staring at him very intensely.

The doctor cleared his throat and recomposed himself. "Tell me about it." His voice seemed to echo in the dark hall that he was seated in. His brown eyes were focused solely on the large man staring back at him on the other side of the glass.

It seemed like hours had passed before Youpi spoke. "Pitou was covered in cake."

The doctor's eyes scanned over the cannibal, as if searching for something Youpi didn't want to reveal. "Why?"

Youpi said nothing.

The doctor tried a different approach. "I talked to Meruem on Friday."

At the mention of his little brother, Youpi tensed up. "Is…is he okay?" For the first time during their session, Youpi did not look like a killer. He looked like a frightened older sibling concerned over the welfare of his baby brother.

Kurapika took out his pen and jotted down another note about Youpi. Subject is VERY responsive to the mention of Meruem.

Kurapika underlined the word 'VERY' twice then looked up. "He's fine." A pause, then, "He told me about your mother." He paused for another second to see how Youpi would react. The large man looked expressionless. "He said that she loved him very much." Actually, what Meruem really said was 'She did always say I was her favorite' but the doctor wasn't sure saying that out loud would be a good idea. He didn't know if Youpi had negative feelings towards Meruem being the self-proclaimed favorite.

Youpi scowled. His expression turned dark and dangerously threatening. It sent chills up the doctor's spine. "He was her favorite…" Youpi whispered. The sound of his voice was almost unheard and it weighed heavily with hatred.

"Did that bother you?" Kurapika was careful to keep his tone steady and low, so not to upset Youpi even more.

When the doctor asked him that, something scary flashed over the cannibal's face. "She deserved to die."

Now Kurapika was really confused. Youpi said that his mother deserved to die for treating Meruem as the favorite, but Meruem was the one who encouraged the others to kill her. Why would he want to kill her for that? And why did they choose to eat her afterward? Cannibalism is a very rare trait to find in a serial killer. And yet all four of the King siblings ate their victims.

When the doctor looked back to Youpi, he saw that the man was shaking with rage. He looked like he was going to explode as he was consumed with his furious thoughts.

It was time to change the subject again.

"You said Pitou was covered in cake." His words were lighter, almost playful. "That must have been amusing to see your big sister in such a mess."

"It was just cake." Youpi's tone was annoyed but he wore a large smile on his face as he reminisced with fondness. "She complained for a week about still finding frosting in her hair."

"Sounds interesting."

"To you that's interesting?"

"Cake in her hair for a week? Of course."

Youpi shrugged and moved from sitting on the floor to sitting on the bed. "Pitou is an interesting person I guess."

"Everyone's interesting in their own way." Kurapika said smoothly. "Even you."

"Even me." He repeated. "And what's interesting about me, Doctor fuckin Kurta?"

The blonde gently tapped his pen on his clipboard. "You tell me. You know yourself better than anyone else."

Youpi didn't take the bait. Instead, he redirected. "What's interesting about _you_ , Doctor fuckin Kurta?"

A trap. If Kurapika didn't answer the question then that would imply that he thought he, as a doctor, wasn't inclined to answer such trivial things. Which of course would insult the patient. But if he _did_ answer and say something too presumptuous then he'd come off as arrogant and snotty. Which would also insult the patient.

"I love shopping at thrift stores." He answered, earning a raised brow of boredom from Youpi. The expression kind of reminded the doctor of a certain redhead…

"Thrift stores?" Youpi almost yawned at the very idea.

"Yes." Kurapika nodded. And he wasn't lying. He really did love shopping at thrift stores. "I love buying things that have a history."

Youpi chuckled and moved so he was laying on the bed while still facing the doctor. "History… We ate a history teacher once. Peggy, was his name I think." Youpi furrowed his brow. "Yeah, yeah. It was Peggy. Short little guy."

Kurapika leaned forward in interest when Youpi brought up Peggy. It wasn't that they ate that Peggy that interested the young doctor. It was how casually Youpi seemed to talk about the way they did it. He didn't try to give any excuse like 'we had our reasons.' Nope. Not Youpi. They ate him and he didn't care. "How did you know he was a history teacher?"

To that, Youpi smiled. "Well… he was Pitou's."

Of course it would be one of theirs. They were only kids when they first started doing these things, after all. "Any particular reason why you guys chose him?"

"He tasted good." Youpi stated as if it were obvious.

"Yeah." Kurapika pointed his pen forward. "But you didn't know that when you chose him."

Youpi looked like he was thinking about something before he responded. "True… you'd have to ask Pitou then. She chose him."

"And Meruem chose your mother."

Youpi silently nodded.

"So then…" Kurapika bore his eyes into Youpi's. He spoke clearly and cautiously. "Who did you choose?"

Youpi chuckled. "That's for another day, Doctor fuckin' Kurta."

~.^

He was bored. So. Bored.

"This is only our first day so I don't expect you to open up right away." Leo said from his place on the armchair. It sat across the glass coffee table filled with games and little mind developing puzzles. "But I want you to know, I'm here to help you."

Hisoka raised a brow but showed no other indication that he was listening.

"I know this morning we got off to a rocky start." Leo waved off Hisoka's earlier rude behavior with his hand. "But it's understandable. I'm new. I'm not the person you have been with since you woke up."

Again, Hisoka remained unresponsive. He considered just getting up and walking out the room. Actually… His eyes drifted to the thick metal door. It was strange. The entire room was pretty relaxed and ordinary. Everything that was there was there for a reason. The room was covered in things that would help a patient open up… books, games, puzzles, paints, everything was calming. Everything except that ugly metal door.

"It's locked." Leo stated when he saw what Hisoka was looking at. "For your safety."

His safety? Did he look like he needed anything done for his fuckin safety? This wasn't what Hisoka wanted to hear. He did not like the idea of being locked up anywhere.

The lanky doctor could see the irritation on the mute's face and tried to offer words of comfort. "Hisoka…"

Hisoka tensed up at the use of his name. It was the first time since he lost his memory that he heard it being said out loud by someone other than Kurapika.

"I'm not trying to keep you in here to be cruel. It's protocol for all of our amnesia patients with no known family or friends." Which didn't happen too often. Most of the time everyone had at least one person they could stay with outside the hospital who would teach them about their life before their accident. But not Hisoka. It would take longer than normal for him to recover his memory, if he ever did, because he doesn't have someone from his past to help guide him through who he once was.

"Let's say you were out on your own." Leo reiterated. "Where would you go? You don't remember where you used to live, you don't have any money, you don't remember if you used to work, and more importantly." Leo leaned forward a little and locked his soft eyes onto Hisoka's. He spoke gently but his tone was warning. "If you do happen to remember something while out in public, you could have a psychological breakdown. It's very possible that you could hurt yourself or someone else if you have no one there to guide you through it."

Hisoka was mulling over the doctor's words. That was true… he hadn't thought about it like that. But still, did it mean he was suddenly okay with being locked up? No. His eyes darted to the door and then back to Leo.

Thinking the redhead was still upset, Leo leaned back and sighed. "Those are the rules and I'm really sorry but that's how things are. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of them either but it's not up to me." Had it been up to him, he would have given the patients the option to come and go as they please. He imagined it could be maddening when you're not allowed outside the hospital.

"I promise that as soon as someone comes to claim you then you'll be free to leave with them." He gave the redhead a reassuring smile. "We just want to make sure you're not aimlessly wandering the streets with no memory or resources."

Hisoka looked at the door again. His eyes narrowed and he could feel his muscles tense under his shirt. He did not like being locked inside of something. It made him uneasy. So he took his uneasiness out on Leo by shooting him a frustrated glare.

"You don't really seem to like me." Leo said with a small smile. "Not even in the slightest."

Hisoka shrugged his shoulders.

"That's okay." He nodded. "I'm not here for you to like. I'm here to help you remember who you were."

Hisoka turned his head the other way.

"Or maybe I should just give up." A lie. He would never give up on a patient. He just wanted the redhead to let his guard down, then when the patient least expected it, Leo would swoop in and pick apart Hisoka's mind.

He really loved this part of his job. It was always fun finding new ways to establish relationships with people. Leo preferred his patients to put their faith in him because it meant he could truly help them to the best of his abilities.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed as he suspiciously watched the lanky doctor. Why did Leo's heart-rate sound so jumpy? What was he excited about?

Picking up his clipboard, Leo began to promptly shuffle through his papers. "We don't have to continue if you don't want to." He didn't even look at the mute as he spoke. "I'll just look over my notes for some of my other patients."

Hisoka titled his head to the side wearing a very uninterested expression, then he shrugged his shoulders and leaned back with his cards.

For a while, the only sounds in the room were Leo's little scribbles and Hisoka's shuffling cards. The redhead was sure that by now Leo would have said something to him, but nope, he just sat there being… boring.

The silence wasn't what was bothering the increasingly annoyed mute, what was bothering him was the _intentional_ silence. He knew that Leo was doing this on purpose and he did not like being ignored. He wanted to do something. _Anything._

Suddenly, Hisoka was on his feet.

He looked over to the doctor who was still pretending to ignore him. But Hisoka's movement had earned a slightly raised brow from Leo, which gave away his interest. The redhead smirked and started walking towards the back of the room where Leo's suitcase was. It was a worn looking thing that Hisoka noticed was in here earlier this morning.

Leo peeked over his clipboard in curiosity.

Feeling eyes on him, Hisoka looked over his shoulder to Leo which made the doctor quickly look back at his notes.

Hisoka's shoulders shook in a light, silent chuckle as he turned his attention back to the suitcase. Pressing his thumbs over the little buttons, they snapped open with a small _click_.

Hisoka mischievously looked back over to the doctor, pleased to see the annoyed twitching of the brunette's eyebrow. This encouraged Hisoka to keep going as he made sure to open the suitcase with an exaggerated use of force. He flung it open so hard that the top almost came off.

Leo made a displeased sound from the back of his throat but still refused to show any indication that he cared as Hisoka began to pull out the contents.

The first thing he pulled out was a bagged lunch. Inside was an apple, a turkey sandwich, and a cookie. Hisoka told himself that he would have to remember to eat that cookie later. He put the lunch on the table. Next, he pulled out a folder stuffed with so many papers that it didn't close properly. Obviously, the papers were notes about other patients. Boring. Hisoka carelessly tossed them over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Leo shouted as he jumped out his chair.

Next, Hisoka pulled out a pair of underwear. They were blue with little ties printed on them. _Why_ did he have these? The redhead turned around and held out the article of clothing for Leo to see. His head was turned in question.

Seeing the underwear made Leo's face turn redder than a tomato. "Sometimes I sleep in my office when I work late!" He snatched them away and stuffed them in his pocket. "Stop touching my stuff! It'll take me hours to reorganize all these!" He growled while picking up his papers.

Hisoka flashed a big grin before getting back to his rummaging. He could hear the doctor's angry grumbles and it made the mute really proud he decided to do this.

He looked inside at the last thing remaining in the suitcase. It was a picture of a boy and he looked pretty young too. Was this the doctor's son?

Hisoka tried to pick it up to get a better look but the picture was stuck to the bottom of the suitcase.

"Don't." Leo said softly. He stepped beside the redhead and gently rubbed the picture's edge with his fingertips.

Hisoka moved his hand, slightly taken back by Leo's sudden emotion.

The doctor's eyes were filled with longing as he whispered out his next words. "His name was Pietro."

Pietro. Hisoka looked down at the picture once more. Leo said 'was'.

"We were best friends." Leo smiled through the fresh tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "We did everything together."

His best friend. Not his kid. Hisoka could hear the pain of the doctor's strained heartbeat, and it made him feel something unusual. Empathy? Yes, empathy. It was strange. This wasn't an emotion Hisoka was used to the feeling. But something about losing a dear friend felt very painful and familiar to the redhead.

"I remember one time," Leo wiped away his tears and chuckled as he put his files back in the suitcase, purposely covering Pietro's picture. "I put a bug in his pillowcase as a little joke. I don't know why I did it…" His tone was regretful, as if that harmless prank was the cause of all his misfortune. "Man, he was so mad…he didn't speak to me for a week."

Hisoka restrained himself from wincing in guilt. He almost felt like him being mute was him inadvertently carrying out Pietro's punishment.

"A few weeks later he was in a car accident." The suitcase snapped shut and Leo stood motionless in front of it. After all these years, thinking about Pietro's final days still made him feel so powerless. "He was hospitalized, and only lived for four days after it happened." Four days. Four days of lying in a hospital bed covered in bruises and breathing through broken bones. "When I went to visit him he screamed and accused me of breaking into his room." He could still see the fear in Pietro's eyes. Pure, untainted terror. "Pietro had amnesia." Leo whispered. "He died with no memory of me, other than one of horror."

Hisoka looked away. Yes, this was definitely something he and the doctor shared. A friend's death, and a broken memory that ruined an end to a relationship.

Leo's shoulders shook and although Hisoka couldn't see the doctor's face, he could tell that the man was crying. The redhead suddenly wanted to do something to make the doctor's pain go away. But… what? What did normal people do when others cried like this?

Hisoka reached out and lightly pat Leo on a shoulder. A silent comforting, 'there, there' for the man.

The action made Leo jump and look to the mute in slight surprise. Tears still stained his cheeks and he didn't bother to wipe them away this time. He was in complete awe. "You touched me…"

He did… Why did he do that? Hisoka quickly pulled his hand back and looked away.

"Kurapika said you didn't like touching." And yet, the redhead had touched him. Was he trying to make the doctor feel better? Was that his way of offering comfort? It definitely showed Leo another side of Hisoka's imprinted personality. Kindness.

Leo stepped forward and held out his hand to touch Hisoka's arm. This made the redhead immediately take a step backward and bump into the shelf behind him.

Leo stopped. He held his hands in the air to show he would not try anything. "Thank you." He smiled. "For your… comfort." If an awkward pat on the shoulder was considered comfort. Well… it was comforting to Leo. "Why did you do that?"

Hisoka relaxed and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know why he touched Leo. He just… did.

Leo nodded. "I see…" He paused for a second. "You know; friends leave a bigger impression on us than we think." As he said this he tapped his own head in emphasizes. "Their mannerisms and attitudes implant themselves in our brains. We copy as much from them as we do our parents."

Hisoka almost rolled his eyes. He didn't have parents. Certainly not friends.

Well…

He had Kurapika. But was Kurapika his friend? He didn't know. He didn't really know what category to place Kurapika in. As far as Hisoka was concerned, Kurapika was just his… Kurapika.

The redhead twirled his fingers through his own hair to form an imaginary braid. He was trying to indicate that Kurapika must have left an impression on him.

"Yeah, I don't know what that means." Leo said with his hands on his hips. "Your… head hurts?"

Hisoka rubbed his temples. He wished Kurapika was here.

"I wish Kurapika were here." Leo joked, unintentionally mirroring the mute's thoughts. "I bet he'd know what you meant."

Hisoka nodded. Kurapika _would_ know.

"I can't believe you touched my underwear…" The doctor scolded while shoving his underwear deeper into his pocket. He was afraid if he put the article of clothing back in his suitcase, the mute would just take them out again. "I swear…"

This time, Hisoka did roll his eyes. It's not like finding those were that interesting… Oh, that reminded him! Hisoka snatched up Leo's lunch bag from the table and pulled out the cookie he saw earlier. He smiled down at the tasty little treat, happy that he had discovered such a treasure.

He promised himself he would eat this cookie and he _never_ broke a promise… to himself.

"Hey!" Leo tried to take back his cookie but Hisoka turned his body so the doctor couldn't reach. "Give that back!" The cookie was his favorite part about his lunch! He was literally looking forward to that all morning!

Smiling, the redhead took a big bite as he darted out the doctor's grasping hands. He triumphantly strolled back to the couch, nibbling on his new tasty treat. It was pretty good. Sweet and chewy. However, it was not as sweet as seeing Leo's annoyed and displeased glower.

Hisoka silently chuckled as he took another bite and plopped on the couch.

The doctor deeply exhaled in a failing attempt to control his rising annoyance. "Tell you what." Leo suddenly said as he moved to the chair he was sitting on before. "You can have the cookie if you answer one question for me."

What a strange proposal. He _already_ had the cookie so it's not like Leo's leverage held any weight.

But… he didn't want Leo to ignore him again. That was SO maddening. Nothing was worse than sitting in silence with nothing to do. Nodding his head, Hisoka decided to play along.

Leo smiled. "Alright then, let's make this a good one." He had the perfect question. One that would tell him everything he needed to know about Hisoka's very being.

"What…" Leo leaned forward and Hisoka could feel his suspense rising. He wondered what Leo would ask? Something personal and taboo? Something embarrassing and shameful? What, what, what?!

"…is your favorite color?"

Hisoka's face fell.

Seriously?

He did not hide his disappointment as he grudgingly popped the last bit of cookie into his mouth. He sighed as he reached down to grab his deck of cards off the coffee table. His favorite color? What a mundane question… And one he would not be able to answer. He expected a yes or no type of thing, something he could nod or shake his head to. How would he even answer this?

As if reading Hisoka's mind, Leo beckoned towards a box of color pencils on the cluttered table. The question itself was simple enough. Basic and didn't require a lot of thinking. Of course to Leo, the answer was anything but simple. It would tell him a lot of things about Hisoka's personality. He guessed the mute would point to something like red. It was strong and it demanded to be noticed. Red was usually a color you couldn't ignore. Stop lights, hazard signs, fire. Yes. Red was his color.

The doctor watched as Hisoka eyed the color pencils. He was building a house of cards that looked similar to the one Leo tried to build earlier that day.

Or maybe the mute would choose black. It was mysterious and guarded. A color that was good for hiding things that didn't want to be discovered. Like the darkness of ominous shadows or the mystery of the night. Black. He'd choose black.

Hisoka put another pair of cards over his house and immediately thought of a color as soon as the question was asked. There was only one color he cared to see and it was his absolute favorite color in the world.

Hisoka pointed to a very blondish looking yellow.

Leo tried to look unsurprised by Hisoka's choice but he could not help but feel very shocked.

Yellow. It was a color of openness and joy. It was bright and usually meant something was full of life. Happiness. Delightfulness. Benevolence.

The very opposite of Hisoka.

Had Hisoka been asked this question before he had lost his memory, he _would_ have picked black or red. But instead, he chose a soft yellow. It reminded him of Kurapika.

Finally, Leo shrugged and said with a smile, "Well, yellow is a fine color." He liked that Hisoka picked yellow. Maybe it meant there was much more to the mute than Leo gave him credit for. "I personally like blue."

Hisoka shook his head in disagreement. He didn't really like blue. It was too common.

This made the doctor laugh and wave off the mute's sentiment. "Don't be so picky, Hisoka."

And for the first time that day, Leo had successfully said something that reached Hisoka.

A memory bombarded his brain. Two rough hands harshly yanked up Hisoka's head and slammed it back down on a cold, hard surface. He could almost feel his own blood from his damaged skull soaking through his hair again. Then a voice growled viciously in his ear.

' _Don't be so fuckin picky, Hisoka!'_

He slammed his fist down on the glass coffee table and it shattered into thousands of pieces.

"Whoa!" Leo jumped to his feet and rushed to the mute. "Hisoka…You're bleeding." He was unconcerned with the table as he knelt over the glass to look at Hisoka's hand. Something the doctor said upset him. Leo carefully mulled over his last words. 'Don't be so picky'? Was that it? But what about that could set off so much rage?

Leo started to reach for Hisoka's hand. "Let me take a look at-" But he was suddenly frozen in place.

The way Hisoka was looking at him… like he was looking at a total stranger. His golden eyes were blank and emotionless, void of everything that made him human. His lips, which were usually turned in a small smirk, were steady and twisted into something of a half snarl and half leer. It almost made Leo's heart stop.

Had Leo not known any better, he'd think was looking into the face of a cold-blooded killer.

Hisoka slowly stood to his feet and his eyes spoke a soundless warning.

'I will kill you.'

Leo stumbled back into the chair, knocking over a few items that were on the table, then he quickly jumped to his feet. He stepped further away from the unexpected threat. He fearfully watched as Hisoka moved forward, unblinking and still staring into his eyes.

The doctor felt a cold chill run up his spine. He was having an inner battle within himself. The doctor in him was telling him to stay. To reach out to Hisoka and see if he could help him.

But his instincts… his instincts were all screaming at him to run. To run far away and not look back. They told him that the arrogant playful redhead he was talking to all morning was gone. Something else was glowering at him with those looming dark eyes. Something that couldn't be reached.

"Hisoka." Leo spoke in a choked whisper.

But Hisoka was unresponsive to Leo's voice. He took another slow dangerous step towards the doctor. That was when Leo's instincts kicked in full throttle. The doctor staggered back against the door and quickly typed in the code to unlock it. He opened the door and slammed it shut behind him, leaving Hisoka alone in the room.

~.^

"You did really well." Kurapika told Youpi, wrapping up the session. It went on much longer than he expected, but it was worth it. Kurapika got a few key things out of today's session.

1\. Youpi was incapable of feeling empathy for another person other than his siblings.

2\. He is very protective of his little brother, Meruem.

3\. He has a dangerously short temper that often leads to violence.

Youpi smiled at the compliment. "I can't wait to see you next week, Doctor fuckin Kurta."

Kurapika wondered if he'd ever get sick of being called that. Although it's not the worst name someone has called him. "Likewise." He answered as he straightened out his paperwork and stood up from his chair.

Youpi lightly tapped on the glass. "Wear your hair like that next time."

The blonde was reminded of his last moments with Meruem and he wanted to shake his head. What was with these King brothers? They both ended their session by pointing out they liked Kurapika's physical attributes. Though he was pretty sure Youpi said what he said for the sole purpose of getting under the doctor's skin.

As he was walking away, he made a mental note to NOT wear his hair in a braid next time he saw Youpi.

The blonde looked up at the wall clock as he buzzed himself out the restricted area. It was barely noon. Lunch time. He usually finished examining his patient within two to three hours. Most of his day was spent in his office typing up long extensive updates and therapeutic treatments for his patients. However, he had been speaking with Youpi since 7:00 a.m. That's almost FIVE hours. He would have a lot to write about on just Youpi alone. Would he even have time to reevaluate the files of his other patients?

As he made his way back up to the main floor, Kurapika found himself thinking about a certain redhead. A twinge of guilt tugged at his heart, remembering that he never bothered to tell Hisoka goodbye. The doctor frowned and shook away his troublesome thoughts. He should be spending his lunch hour eating a chicken wrap and drinking iced green tea at his favorite coffee shop. _Not_ thinking about Hisoka.

Kurapika was walking past the front security desk when he noticed Leo and two other doctors huddled over a computer screen. At first, he wasn't the least bit concerned with what they were doing until he caught something one of them said.

"It's been a while. We should give him a sedative." Dr. Baise quietly suggested.

His curiosity piqued and he moved closer in an attempt to see what they were all so intrigued with. Was one of Baise's patients having a violent breakdown?

"No way." Leo piped up. "He's not doing anything dangerous! You want to drug him for just standing there?"

"I saw the footage of what he did to the table." Dr. Beans shook his head. "I'm not in any rush to let that happen to me."

Kurapika moved behind the desk next to other doctors. No one had heard him approaching so they were surprised to see him suddenly bent over the front of the screen.

"Dr. Kurt-"

"What's going on?" Kurapika asked. He looked over at the computer monitor and finally saw what everyone was fussing about. Hisoka was standing alone in the examination room surrounded by shattered glass. "What happened?"

Doctor Baise pushed up her glasses before answering. "It's strange…" She started. "It's like he doesn't even acknowledge his surroundings anymore."

Kurapika nodded. That sounded familiar with Hisoka's case. He suspected that it had to do with his past abuse. Abuse that he notified Leorio of so there wouldn't be any surprises like this.

Doctor Beans leaned forward to squint at the screen next. "We just need to find a way to wrap his hand." It was cut pretty deep. They definitely couldn't just leave it like that.

Wrap his hand? Kurapika titled his head and frowned when he saw a large stream of blood steadily dripping from the side of the redhead's hand. "Wait, what?!" Kurapika shot a glare at Leorio. "You just left him like that?" He felt a little bit of anger rising from the pit of his stomach. To leave an injured patient alone without medical treatment is unacceptable. Even Kurapika's high-risk patients received medical attention when they were injured and they, unlike Hisoka, were killers.

Leo blushed, slightly embarrassed to be scolded by Kurapika. "You warned me not to touch him." He said sheepishly as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

Kurapika put his hands on his hips like a mother reprimanding a child. "If he needs medical attention then that should have been taken care of. You know that."

And Leo did know that. But there was just something that stopped him from doing what he needed to do. Something about Hisoka's deadly gaze that sent him running away. It was a look that Leo had only seen in wild animals. "Maybe Baise is right…" He felt even more guilty as he said this. What was wrong with him? He felt like such a coward… "if we gave him a sedative then we could- Hey! Where are you going?"

Kurapika was already walking away, snatching up a roll of bandages that were sitting on the nursing cart on his way out the lobby.

"Dr. Kurta!" Dr. Beans called as the three frantic doctors followed the storming blonde. "I don't think that's a good idea!" He was struggling to keep up with the group as he tried to reach Kurapika. "Any patient that has a sudden violent outburst like this should be treated in the most cautious way possible. Dr. Kurta, you should know that better than anyone. You work with killers."

This made Kurapika growl in insulted frustration. "Hisoka is _not_ a killer." He never broke stride as he called over his shoulder, "He just broke some glass."

Hisoka stared down at his bleeding hand.

He was waiting.

What was he waiting for? A question?

No….

A command.

' _Hisoka…Kill.'_

His mind was fuzzy. He felt different. His senses were more focused and his body felt tenser than before.

' _Kill.'_

Something about that word triggered something in his brain. He was balancing between his mindfulness and his bloodlust. Why was that word jumping out from the depths of his thoughts? Why did it affect him this way? He felt his muscles flex under his clothes and his eyes darted towards the door as a familiar pair of footsteps began to close in. Someone was about to come inside.

The idea of killing sent arousing chills down the redhead's spine. He needed to harm someone. He needed his ears to be filled with the sound of someone's dying cries for mercy. He needed to kill.

"Hisoka." A voice drifted into the room as the door cracked open. "Good Lord! How did you manage to hurt yourself on the first day?" He lightly scolded as he moved towards the bleeding redhead. "Jeez, you cut yourself pretty deep." He grabbed Hisoka's hand.

Hisoka grasped Kurapika by the wrist and held him securely in place. His golden eyes bore into the doctor's as his grip tightened.

Kurapika frowned in disapproval. "Hiso-"

Hisoka suddenly yanked Kurapika to his chest and held him in a warm affectionate hug.

The blonde blushed as his face was smushed into Hisoka's shirt. How could he have forgotten how clingy the redhead was? "Okay, okay… I get it. You missed me. But you're going to get blood on my jacket." Although he was sure with the way Hisoka was bleeding, there was already blood all over the back of his jacket.

Kurapika pulled away to see Hisoka frowning down at him.

"What?"

Hisoka shook his head, silently tsking Kurapika.

"Oh." Kurapika lowered his head a little. "I'm sorry. I guess should've said goodbye before I left." He mumbled. The blood dripping from the mute's hand had pooled onto the carpet and the doctor sighed. Poor Leo. His first day working with Hisoka and his carpet gets ruined. The blonde held Hisoka's hand in his own and started to carefully wrap it up.

Pulling the smaller male into his lap, Hisoka sunk into the couch and watched as the doctor covered his wound.

"I thought it would be easier if I just left." Kurapika admitted, feeling even guiltier as he said it. "I don't really do goodbyes."

Hisoka used his free hand to gently tug the blonde's long braid and Kurapika smiled a little before quickly shaking it away. He cleared his throat. "Yes well… I'm glad you forgive me."

Leo was watching the exchange from the doorway. "He's… like a completely different person…"

Beans nodded. "Yes. This definitely doesn't seem like the same Hisoka we were watching earlier."

Leo smiled and bit his bottom lip when he saw the silent redhead hold up his bandaged hand in appreciation before bringing the blonde in for another adoring cuddle. Kurapika tried to pull away and was heard scolding him in the process. "I wasn't talking about Hisoka." Leo whispered.

Baise gave Beans a look and they both shared the same thought.

But it was Leo who said it out loud.

"I guess Kurapika is going to have to assist me with Hisoka from now on." He never took his eyes off the pair as he spoke.

Baise nodded. "But he still has his own patients."

"He'll have to come in during his lunch hours." Leo shrugged.

That doesn't sound like something Dr. Kurta would appreciate. He'd be working longer hours for the same amount of pay. It's not something anyone would want to take on. Especially someone who worked on Kurapika's already stressful cases. "Do you think he'll be mad?" Beans asked.

They watched Kurapika struggle against Hisoka's chest. "I want to get up!" He growled through Hisoka's relentless cuddles. "I should have never come back! Next time I'll just let you bleed!"

Leo leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms.

"No. I don't think he will be."


	8. Once Upon a Time

 

Kurapika was sitting behind his desk with his nose in Youpi's files. He was updating the death of the King siblings' mother while adding notes from earlier today on the computer. "No."

"What? I didn't even say anything." Leo smiled.

Kurapika didn't bother looking up from what he was doing. "I know what you're going to say."

The tall doctor moved to sit on the edge of Kurapika's desk and lightly tapped his fingers over the blonde's nameplate. "Only because it crossed your mind too."

The smaller male's brow furrowed but he tried to play it off as him being focused on what he was doing. "No. I just know how you think."

"Oh, of course." Leo made a show of dramatically bowing to the blonde. "A world-renowned psychoanalyst such as yourself could easily pick apart my mind and see what I'm thinking."

Kurapika's expression was unchanged as he continued to type up more notes. "Yes, now get out."

Leo chuckled and moved to lean his head over the computer screen so Kurapika was forced to look at him. This earned a very stern glare from the blonde who did not appreciate these childish antics.

" _Please~_ " Leo playfully whined like a young child.

Without moving Kurapika uttered a short, "No." Once more.

"Okay, fine." Leo stood up off the desk and crossed his arms. "But you know if you assisted me with his recovery it would be much faster."

"Actually, I don't know that." Kurapika pointed out. "And neither do you, Baise, or Beans."

Leo looked taken back for a second. "Oh." He blushed a little. "So you heard us talking about you then."

Kurapika shook his head. "I didn't. Hisoka did."

Now the brunette was really confused. "Hisoka overheard us saying that you should assist in his recovery? Wait, so then how did you find out? It's not like he told you."

Kurapika avoided looking at the taller doctor. How was he supposed to answer that when he didn't have the answer himself?

"I just knew." Kurapika admitted. He didn't like acknowledging how in tune he was with Hisoka. It was almost impossible for him to _not_ know what the redhead was thinking and feeling. It made the blonde pretty uneasy.

"You just kne- see _that's_ what I'm talking about!" Leo beckoned to Kurapika, furthering his point. "There is something happening with you two. Look at the relationship you have." He began counting off his arguments on his fingers. "You're the only person he lets touch him, you're the only one who can pick apart what he's thinking, and more importantly," He tapped his third finger over Kurapika's desk for emphasis. "You are the only one he trusts."

Kurapika said nothing.

"He needs you." Leo concluded. In his head, he silently added, 'And you need him.'

There was a short pause before the blonde spoke again and what he said made Leo's face fall in disappointment. "I'm sorry, Leorio." He truly was sorry. A part of him felt guilty for disappointing a coworker who had always been there for him, but another part of him knew that working with Hisoka was something he could not let happen.

When he was around Hisoka he was different. His mind could never stay focused like it was when he was by himself. Without Hisoka, Kurapika was an analytical drone carefully evaluating every situation before he acted. But with Hisoka, he was not that at all. That side of him wavered until it completely broke away, suddenly exposing his hidden emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Just as Kurapika could read into Hisoka's very essence, the redhead could do the same to him. And he did not like that.

Kurapika paused only for a moment before typing up more notes. "I just can't, okay. Please stop asking." His voice was steady and he was sure not to give away any reactions that could reveal his conflicted emotional state.

Leo looked to the ground and sighed. "Alright, Pika." He moved to the door to leave. "But could you at least do me one favor before you leave tonight?" It was the end of the workday, and usually, when he received a new live-in patient he would show them to their room and give them a tour of the hospital. But if Kurapika were to do it, maybe seeing how well Hisoka responded to him would get him to change his mind.

"What?" The blonde glanced up from what he was doing, unsure what was going through the brunette's head.

"Show Hisoka where he'll be staying."

"What? Leorio I just told you I-"

"Yeah I know. You can't assist. But I've got other things to do before it gets too late. Like go out and find a replacement for the table he broke." Leo argued. Although the table thing could really wait. He just needed to use something as an excuse.

"Why can't you ask one of the nurses to do it?" But of course, Kurapika knew why.

"You know why." Leo said. "He needs a specific type of care. Care that you seem more than capable of giving him." He could see the blonde's face that despite his protests, he did agree with what Leo was saying. "You don't even have to stay long. Take him to his room and then you're free to never see him again. I'll handle all of Hisoka's needs by myself from then on."

Kurapika sat in silence as he watched Leo make his way out the door. The brunette's words lingered in the air as he left the blonde to himself.

' _Then you're free to never see him again.'_

That's what he wanted, wasn't it? To never see or hear about Hisoka again? Yes, of course, that's what he wanted. Hisoka had been nothing but trouble ever since Kurapika had the misfortune of finding him in the street. His life had been on hold, tending to the needs of a man who was practically a stranger to him.

' _Then you're free to never see him again.'_

"Damnit, Leorio." Kurapika covered his face in his hands and groaned. He did not want to do this. He did not want to do this. He did _not_ want to do this! Fuckin', Leorio! What was he thinking? Did he think forcing Kurapika to spend more time with the mute was actually going to change anything? Life didn't work that way. Things don't just work out the way you want just because you will it to.

Kurapika slammed his hands down on the top of his desk then stormed out his office. Fine. If Leorio was going to force him to do this, then he would do it for the sake of Kurapika being 'free to never see Hisoka again' as Leo oh-so-elegantly put it. He would just take Hisoka upstairs to the inpatient rooms and leave. It would take 5 minutes at most.

Kurapika swiped his badge over the scanner that led to the examination room Hisoka was being held in. 5 minutes. That's it.

The moment he opened the door Kurapika was enveloped in a warm hug.

Hisoka lifted Kurapika up off the ground and held him tightly against his broad chest. His nose was buried in the doctor's soft blonde hair and he breathed in the scent of lemons and mint leaves. He could hear Kurapika's quickened heartbeat and hitched breath and the sounds made Hisoka hold him even tighter in his protective, loving embrace. After a lifetime of unremembered torture and agony, his soul was shattered into thousands of painful shards cutting away at his very essence. But with Kurapika here he was at peace.

For a moment the blonde was almost lost in the hold. He almost allowed himself to close his eyes and let someone touch him that tenderly. Almost.

"Hisoka." Kurapika's mouth was squished in the mute's shoulder making his voice muffled. "Let me go." He lightly kicked his feet in the air as if the action itself would free him from the hug.

Hisoka held on for just a second longer before gently placing Kurapika back on the ground.

The doctor smoothed his shirt with his hands and refused to look at the mute as he spoke. "Come on." He beckoned for Hisoka to follow him as he carefully backed away. "Leorio wants me to show you around."

Hisoka started to follow Kurapika, picking up his speed so he was walking in unison with the blonde's unusually quick pace. Silently, the doctor ushered the mute inside the hospital elevator. He wanted to get this done as quickly as possible.

The doors closed and Hisoka noticed that there were 7 buttons. They were currently on the 1st floor. Earlier, Leo explained to Hisoka that live-in patients stayed on the 5th and 6th floors. He titled his head to the side when he noticed the button under the 1st floor. Instead of a number, it had the letter 'G' on it. He questionably hovered his finger over it.

"That's ground level. It's where I work." Kurapika answered as he pressed the number 6.

Hisoka then moved his finger over the number 2 button.

"Just another floor for the doctors to work on the patients," Kurapika stated.

Oh. Boring. Hisoka's finger hovered over the 3 next.

"The recreational floor. For when the patients need to relax playing pool or doing arts and crafts." He had never been on that floor before. But it's not like he's ever needed to. His patients weren't allowed on any of the upper levels, therefore, Kurapika avoided anywhere he wasn't professionally needed.

But that sounded pretty interesting to the curious redhead. He pressed the 3 and the elevator came to a sudden halt.

"Wh- hey!" Kurapika grabbed the wall to keep himself from losing his balance. He looked up at the redhead's stupid smiling face and scowled. "What the hel-"

"Hello, Dr. Kurta!" The painting instructor, Pariston Hill, was waving his hand in the air while holding onto a paintbrush with green stained bristles.

"Damn it." Kurapika muttered under his breath. He frantically pushed random buttons in an attempt to get the doors to close. But Hisoka was having none of that. He grabbed onto the sliding door frames and pushed them right back open.

"Oh!" Pariston grabbed Kurapika's arm and gently pulled him into the recreational room. "Better be careful. Those doors close much too fast if you ask me."

"Or much too slow…" Kurapika mumbled under his breath. He spoke so lowly that Hisoka was the only one who heard him and the mute silently chuckled as he followed the two blonde males.

"You caught us just in time." The art instructor said cheerfully. "This is our last class for the night." He beckoned to the small group of students who were all holding their own paint brushes and facing their own canvases. "It's so exciting to see one of our doctors here. I don't think you've ever visited before."

"Yeah, well I was just leaving." Kurapika said as he pulled away from the taller man's grasp.

"Oh no." Pariston shook his head in blatant refusal. "You haven't even had a lesson yet."

"Yes… that's true but I have to get Hisoka to his room." Kurapika moved beside the redhead and pat the mute's arm as if proving Hisoka's existence was real and not just a made up excuse to get out of art lessons. The touch made Hisoka light up and he pulled Kurapika into a tight hug.

"Oh!" Pariston's eyes widened in pleasant surprise, just noticing the large man who was currently nuzzling the struggling doctor. "The more the merrier then!"

Kurapika tried again, attempting to take a different approach. "Today's Hisoka's first day." He explained. "And he has amnesia." The little blonde reached up to lightly tap the center of Hisoka's forehead. "I'm sure this could be pretty overwhelming for him."

"Oh." Pariston turned to the muscular redhead in genuine concern. "I wouldn't want to overwhelm you. Would one class be too much?"

Hisoka looked down at Kurapika's pleading eyes then back to Pariston. The little blonde looked completely mortified at the idea having to sit through a class. It was very clear what Kurapika wanted him to do.

Hisoka flashed Pariston a cheerful smile and shook his head 'no'. Of course, one class wouldn't be too much for him! He would _love_ to stay!

Kurapika glared at Hisoka from the corner of his eye and the art instructor beamed. "I'm happy to see that you'd like to join us." He led the two to some empty seats. "Art is the window to the soul, you know. A lot of the patients here turn to art when certain matters become too stressful. Maybe it could help you recover something."

"That's not how amnesia works." Kurapika said flatly. "I don't think arts and crafts will have a major effect on his memory development."

Pariston only laughed. "Dr. Kurta don't be so skeptical." He gave the two some paints before moving to his own canvas at the head of the class. "You never know. By the end of this session Hisoka might just come face to face with a few recollections of his past." He was smiling as he talked, but his words were almost a warning. "Art reaches people in strange ways."

Kurapika opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the instructor's cheerful voice.

"Alright, class." He began. "Today I have something special in mind."

Kurapika inwardly groaned and covered his face. 'Art reaches people in strange ways.' He mockingly mouthed to himself. Yeah okay. If Pariston thought that Hisoka was suddenly going to have a psychological breakthrough by painting a picture he must have had his head in the clouds too long.

"We're doing dreams." The instructor continued. "I want you to paint one of your most vivid and pleasant dreams."

Painting dreams. It sounded so very trite to the doctor. He would have thought the assignment would have been a more unusual one.

Hisoka agreed, it was a little strange that Pariston assumed painting could help him recover his memories. Or… parts of them anyway. He was unsure how accurate that theory was but at the same time, he didn't really care. Remembering where he came from was not something he was in any rush to do. In the past few days, he'd remembered almost nothing but suffering and abuse. He truly believed that he would be happier if he never remembered anything.

Hisoka looked over to Kurapika who was defiantly glaring at his blank canvas. Yes, it was definitely true that he was much happier with his new memories and could do without the old. But he thought about his increasing blackouts. How he became someone else entirely whenever they happened. He had no control over the things he'd do and no memory of his actions. He was dangerous. Could he really continue to be around Kurapika when he was so unstable and unsafe?

Pariston mistook Hisoka's thought for timorousness. "Don't be coy, Hisoka." He lightly encouraged. "Whatever you paint will be magnificent. There is no such thing as flawed art."

Kurapika scoffed and leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed. They were wasting so much time. He was just supposed to be showing Hisoka to his room.

"Pay no mind to Dr. Attitude." Pariston laughed. "Please… paint a dream that means something to you."

Kurapika was grumbling next to him as Hisoka tried to picture a pleasant dream. He gently pat the irritable blonde on the head before picking up his paintbrush. He was pretty sure he had no artistic talent. Something told him that his talent laid in other places. Destruction. Not creation.

Kurapika still refused to touch his own paints. How does he always manage to get dragged into these things?

"Dr. Kurta." A small voice spoke softly behind him.

Kurapika turned around and smiled in pleasant surprise. "Komugi." She was one of Baise's patients. Baise worked with battered women and children who suffered long-term psychological damage. What made Komugi's case stand out was that just like Hisoka, the girl had a disadvantage to her recovery. She was blind.

"It's nice to hear from you again." She was working on some type of papier-mâché thing. She wasn't painting a picture like the rest of the class for… obvious reasons.

"I didn't notice you at first." He admitted. "You look well." Much better than the first time he saw her. When they first met, her face was covered in snot and tears and her skin was bruised from her father's abuse. Now she looked clean and happy. Content even.

Komugi nodded, her white hair fell in front of her face as she did so. "Baise is a good doctor." Her hands moved easily over the paper as she formed a shape of something that Kurapika couldn't quite decipher.

"She is." Kurapika agreed. Although Baise was a noisy gossip who was always butting into everyone's business, she was also very patient and very kind. She knew just how to make someone feel like she was 100% in their corner. And for the most part, she genuinely was. "I'm glad to see working with her is really helping you."

"Yes." Her grey eyes looked straight ahead as she worked. "And it's not just her. Pariston has been wonderful too. I owe a lot of my recovery to him."

At the mention of the annoying art instructor, Kurapika rolled his eyes. An action he was thankful Komugi didn't see.

Komugi softly laughed and shook her head. "Dr. Kurta…"

"What?" He smiled sheepishly, almost wondering if she knew what he'd done.

"Pariston is right you know." Her hands were covered in wet slimy glue as she gently rubbed her thumbs over the sopping paper project she was working on. "Art is the window to the soul. It's certainly revealed a lot about me. It might help your friend.

"Yeah, he's not my friend, and…" Art was simply a hobby. It didn't reveal anything that the artist didn't already know. Komugi was using it as an outlet to deal with her past abuse and that's all there was to the theory of it 'revealing a lot about her'. "I just don't think that painting a picture is going to help Hisoka figure out who he used to be."

To that, the small framed girl shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "Maybe not, but don't sell art so short. It's-"

"The window to the soul." Kurapika lightly finished. "Got it…" He turned around and looked at his blank canvas. The window to the soul.

Then… he started to paint a window.

Hisoka looked at his work and titled his head in disapproval. He wasn't very skilled with the paint brush. The tool was too small and fragile. It seemed to require steady, gentle hands.

He put down the little brush and instead, dipped one hand into the red paint, and the other into the yellow. His hands crisscrossed all over his canvas as he began to fix up the painting that he was trying to create. A swoosh of yellow there, a flare of red here. It was almost complete. And to his delight, it was looking pretty good.

"Ah~!" Pariston leaned over to get a better look at Hisoka's work. "That's very interesting. And it certainly looks like it would be a wonderful dream."

Hisoka eyed his work in skepticism. He had painted a red fox and a yellow squirrel sitting together under a tree. Pariston said that they should paint a dream but as the redhead looked at his painting he was beginning to become unsure if this was ever a dream he'd had. He couldn't remember where the fox and the squirrel had come from honestly.

"Dr. Kurta, your patient did some fine work. Maybe you should bring him here more often."

Kurapika looked over his shoulder to the art instructor and rolled his eyes. "First of all, Hisoka is not my patient. And…" The doctor's voice trailed off as his gaze landed on Hisoka's picture.

"And second of all?" Pariston smiled, waiting for Kurapika to finish.

Kurapika felt something strange flutter in his chest from the mute's creation. There on his canvas was a bright and colorful picture of a yellow squirrel tucked snuggly away under a red fox's bushy tail.

They were the animals from the story Kurapika told him.

The doctor's gaze did not go unnoticed to the art instructor, who seemed so pleased that you'd think Kurapika was staring at _his_ work. "You seem to like it." Pariston happily noted.

He didn't know how he felt about it. A small part of him thought that the picture was dreadful. It was almost alarming that Hisoka saw that story as one of his most pleasant dreams. It only reminded Kurapika of _why_ he was trying to distance himself in the first place. He and Hisoka had a very inappropriate dynamic.

And another part of him…kind of liked that.

"Yes well…" The doctor was trying to find the right thing to say. "I'm sure Leorio would be happy to hang it up in the examination room."

Hisoka looked to his painting then looked to Kurapika. To anyone else it sounded like Kurapika was saying, 'Leorio would love to see that painting.' But what Hisoka heard, and what Hisoka _knew_ Kurapika truly meant was 'Let's put it somewhere where I can see it without people knowing that I want to.'

Pariston looked over to Kurapika's painting, visibly surprised that the doctor had bothered painting anything at all. "A window."

Kurapika turned back to his own canvas and shrugged. "You said there's no such thing as flawed art."

"Yes." Pariston nodded as he took a closer look at the large window painted on the doctor's canvas. "That's very true…" His voice trailed off in thought, then, "Tell me. Why did you paint a window? What does it signify?"

The doctor almost scoffed. "It doesn't signify anything. It's just a window." He was lying. It meant something to him, he could feel it. He just didn't know what. The assignment was to paint a vivid and pleasant dream. The only dream that came to his mind was one that he's had many times. One of himself looking through a window, trying to see what was on the other side.

"What's on the other side?" The art instructor suddenly asked.

"What?" Kurapika's heart began to speed up and he was suddenly feeling a little anxious. Why did that question bother him so much?

"Of the window." Pariston reiterated. "What's on the other side?"

Hisoka looked down at his paint covered hand. The thick red liquid slowly dripped to the floor and softly landed at his feet in a dark oozing puddle.

No matter! He was sure Pariston would clean up the paint before it stained. He shrugged his shoulders and merrily went back to his work not giving the paint another thought.

"I… don't know." Kurapika whispered. But there _was_ something on the other side. He was sure of it. In his dreams, he'd stand on the tips of his toes and peer into the window hoping for a small glance of what was behind the glass.

"But you know there's something." Pariston leaned down closer to the doctor. His voice was a hushed whisper only for Kurapika's ears.

"Yes." The small blonde almost choked on his words. "There's something."

He heard something, like the sound of a muffled voice straining to touch his thoughts.

' _Smile, Honey.'_

The doctor recoiled away from his painted window in shock.

' _Are you smiling?'_

Kurapika stood to his feet almost knocking over his artwork. "Hisoka." He sounded breathless. "C-come on. We- I have to show you to your room."

Hisoka had just drawn little red hearts over his fox and squirrel when he heard his name being called. He hadn't noticed before because he was too wrapped up in what he was doing, but the doctor's heart rate was _pounding_. It suddenly put the redhead on edge.

"Oh, are you sure?" Pariston lightly touched the doctor's arm. "We haven't even-"

"I'm sure." Kurapika yanked his arm away with more force than intended and he fell into another student's painting. He felt the wet paint soak through his clothes and he looked down at the smeared mess he'd made. The voice in his head was beginning to get louder and it sent chills up his spine.

' _Yay! We're definitely keeping that one!'_

Kurapika fumbled away from where he'd fallen, almost bumping into someone else. He barely heard anything over the sound of his own heartbeat pounding mercilessly in his ears. He didn't notice how cold his fingertips had gotten as his hands trembled against his sides.

Komugi was concerned. "Dr. Kurta…"

' _Kurapika~!'_

"I'm sorry Komugi." Kurapika mumbled as he moved past her. "I have to go, okay?" His vision blurred and the room started to spin. He grabbed onto the wall to keep his balance.

' _Pika…Your hair. Be careful.'_

"I am being careful." He whispered.

"Dr. Kurta." Pariston was cleaning up the mess the young doctor had made. "Are you alright? Should I call someone?"

' _NO!' Suzuka cried out. 'Don't! Please! You'll let the magic out!'_

Kurapika swirled around, half expecting to see his mother standing behind him. His palms were sweating and his chest ached in painful remembrance. He couldn't breathe.

Kurapika moved further away from the painting group and headed back for the elevator. He heard Pariston say something to him as he was walking away but his mind was too disoriented to make out the words.

A shrill voice shrieked in his head so loudly that he doubled over in pain.

' _Bad things will happen!'_

Kurapika frantically pressed the elevator button until the doors opened up. His hands were still trembling as he stepped inside and moved to stand in the corner of the tight little space.

Hisoka grabbed the doors just as they were closing and forced them open wide enough for him to pass through.

' _He had to get the poison out.'_

"Get out." Kurapika groaned, unsure who he was talking to. His legs felt weak under his weight and he leaned against the wall to keep from collapsing on the floor.

' _I told him to wait...'_

"Get out. Please... Get out." Kurapika clutched his hair and slid to the ground. He wanted her out. He wanted her to get out of his head.

The elevator started to move and Hisoka looked to the glowing buttons beside the door. He pressed the bright red 'Stop' button and the large machine groaned as it was interrupted in its movement.

' _Daddy!' Kurapika rushed to his father's side._

"Why did you do that?" Kurapika ran his fingers over the end of his long blonde hair, instinctually undoing his braid. An action he'd done often as a child when he was upset. "W-why did you stop it?"

Hisoka bent at the knees so that he was eye-level with the troubled doctor. He reached out to touch him and the blonde's eyes widened when he saw Hisoka's red paint covered hand.

_In his rush, he slipped in a puddle of something wet and fell into drenched litter next to his father._

_"D-daddy?" He looked down at Jin and a sharp cry caught his throat._

_His father's skin was pale and his eyes were staring lifelessly into Kurapika's. The knife Kurapika used to cut his hair was lying in Jin's open palm. His wrists were slashed so deep that he could see the bone peeking from under the squishy pink flesh._

_Blood. That's what he slipped in. He was soaking in his father's blood._

"Shit…" Kurapika moaned. Nausea hit him in hot waves and he coiled into himself. He had to stay calm. He had to push his thoughts back into the depths of his mind.

Hisoka inched a little closer and tried to pull the smaller male into his arms.

"Don't." He moaned, struggling to keep his lucidity. "Don't touch me." Images of his parents' blood flashed through his mind. His fingers were intertwined in his messy hair that now shielded his face from Hisoka's view.

_The officer's flashlight illuminated Kurapika and his father. The small boy was soaked in blood as he brought up his shining eyes and looked towards the men. His lips trembled and his hands gently stroked Jin's cold cheek._

_"My daddy…" He whimpered._

"My daddy…" Kurapika whimpered.

Hisoka grabbed Kurapika's wrist and the blonde's head shot up. His eyes were unrecognizable and his voice was shaking. "Don't touch me." He spoke softly. "Why do you keep fuckin touching me?"

Hisoka sat down and pulled the smaller male into his lap. It troubled him how much the blonde's petite frame was shaking. He rested his chin on the Kurapika's head and wrapped his large arms protectively around the doctor.

Kurapika felt so cold.

_"W…we'll find some more magic soon… o-okay?" Suzuka's voice broke as she spoke through her gentle weeping._

_"Okay..." He was sniffling when he tilted his chin up to look at his mother._

Kurapika gently rocked himself back and forth. His trembling hands were running frantically through his hair. The room was spinning and he tried to close his eyes to block out the dizziness.

But the moment he shut his eyes he heard the echoed memory of gunshots.

_Something thick and warm splashed across Kurapika's face and he tasted the metallic flavor of blood._

_Was this his?_

_His eyes burned from the downpour of the warm liquid as he opened them._

_And he saw his mother…_

He couldn't breathe. He felt like he was choking. Choking on the blood of his parents. Blood that he caused with his own selfishness. He was the sole cause of their torturous death. He was the one who brought pain and sorrow into their house. He was the one who messed everything up.

He was a failure.

His body shook with silent sobs and he rubbed his hands over his arms, pretending that they were the hands of his mother and father.

Hisoka held Kurapika securely against him. He could feel the blonde's tears soaking through his shirt and it pained his heart in the most agonizing way.

_Suzuka didn't fully understand why her son was upset. She felt like she was supposed to do something to make it better. 'Do you… want me to tell you a story…?'_

' _No!' The last thing he wanted was a story. 'I want you to be normal!'_

Kurapika choked on his sob and tightly clung to Hisoka's shirt. He was so sorry. He was so sorry for everything he'd done. He wished he could take it back. He wanted to take it all back.

"Yes…" Hisoka heard the wretched whisper as it softly left the doctor's lips. "Please… tell me a story…"

A story…? Hisoka gripped the small male more intensely as a recent memory floated into his own mind.

_"Once upon a time…" Kurapika rubbed his hands carefully over Hisoka's soft red hair. "There was a mischievous fox with silky red fur…"_

A story. That's what that was. It wasn't a dream. It was… Kurapika.

Hisoka placed his hand on Kurapika's head and began to carefully rub his hair. The smaller male's shaking was becoming less severe and he started to relax under the touch.

' _Here, Mommy.' Kurapika whispered. He placed her bloodied hand on top of his soft blonde hair and Suzuka's fingers disappeared into a mess of golden locks._

_"Once upon a time…" As soon as Kurapika's childish voice filled the room he could feel both his parents relax._

Kurapika's sobs racked his body and his eyes were tightly closed.

Hisoka opened his mouth trying to force out the words, but then a voice snapped in his head with the viciousness of a whip.

' _Shut up! You do not speak! Animals_ _ **don't**_ _speak!'_

He closed his eyes tried to force that voice away. He was not an animal. Not anymore.

Tears were spilling over the doctor's cheeks and his body flinched with each of his sobbing hiccups. He wished that he had died that night. He did not deserve to live after the way he treated them.

_"I…" Suzuka's voice shook like she was about to cry. Kurapika was upset. She didn't know what to do. What was she supposed to do? She wanted to be a good mother. She wanted to make him feel better. "O-once upon a time…"_

_"Just stop, Mom!" He didn't want a story! He wanted her to tell him that she would change._

He was so worthless. So evil. So selfish. So…

"Once upon a time…"

The voice was raspy and broken… as if unsure of how it sounded. Kurapika's sobs quieted but his eyes were still glazed with tears as he tried to look up at the man who was holding him.

Hisoka's throat felt scratchy as he spoke and the concern of being punished almost made him stop talking. But it was the memory of the blonde's comforting voice that guided Hisoka through his next words.

' _There was a mischievous fox with silky red fur…'_

"There was a clever squirrel… with beautiful blonde fur."

"Hisoka." Kurapika's own voice was still shaking with so much emotion from his crying that it was almost unrecognizable. "You're…"

"Shh…" The redhead was still rubbing Kurapika's hair as he spoke. "You're interrupting…"

' _Shut up! You do not speak! Animals_ _ **don't**_ _speak!'_

Hisoka leaned backed against the wall with Kurapika tucked safely in-between his legs. His voice, although cracked and damaged from years of neglect, was gentle and filled with loving affection as he continued his story. "Who although was very kind, was also very lonely."

"Hisoka…" Kurapika spoke in a shuddered breath as he settled deeper into the redhead's chest.

"Hm?" Hisoka could feel the little blonde male's breathing evening out and he knew that soon he'd be asleep.

"Wha…" Kurapika yawned and his mind was beginning to slip out of consciousness. "What are you doing?"

Hisoka mirrored the doctor's yawn before answering. "Telling you a story." He whispered. His throat stung as he spoke, still adjusting to the new vibrations of his voice. "To give you pleasant dreams."

Pleasant dreams. Ah… that's what this was. It wasn't real. This was all just a dream. "Okay…" Kurapika breathed, allowing himself to get lost in what he thought was a twisted fantasy. "Okay…"

And Hisoka pressed his lips on the top of Kurapika's head and continued with his story. His soft husky voice drifted around the elevator as he spoke and he did not stop until he was sure Kurapika had fallen asleep.

And soon he followed the blonde in peaceful slumber, never loosening his hold the only person he knew who was as broken as him.

^.~

A soft buzzing rang overhead and the lights flickered as the elevator rumbled.

Kurapika groaned and shifted a little from the annoying interruption of his sleep. When he moved he felt a pair of arms pull him deeper into a hug.

The elevator started to move and then previous events hit the doctor like a freight train. He tried to pull away again afraid of being caught like this once the doors opened.

"Hisoka!" Kurapika pushed against the redhead's face and wiggled as much as he could. How long were they asleep?! "Get up!"

Hisoka buried his nose in Kurapika's neck and whispered a soft. "Stop squirming." His voice was heavy with sleep and still a bit raspy from its newfound use.

Kurapika froze, taken back by Hisoka's voice. He had almost forgotten about that. "No, we have to-"

The doors suddenly opened and they were faced with two maintenance men.

Being aware that they were no longer alone was enough to quickly rouse Hisoka. He sat up from his laying position and held Kurapika slightly away from the men's view. His expression was steady and unreadable but his eyes spoke a deadly warning. He looked like a vicious animal protecting an injured mate.

"Hisoka." Kurapika hissed. "Let go."

One of the men looked slightly embarrassed by the scene but he spoke up anyway. "Uh… yeah. Sorry about having you two locked in here so long. It took us a while to get the elevator moving again." He avoided looking into Hisoka's warning gaze. "I don't really know why, but the damn thing wasn't working. All the nurses were forced to take the stairs last night."

Kurapika knew exactly why the elevator wasn't moving and it made him feel extremely guilty and ashamed. "Um, yeah." He cleared his throat and tried to look as professional as possible while being held captive by the large redhead. "Thank you."

"Hope you two weren't stuck in here long." The other man spoke up, unbothered by what he was seeing. He'd worked in this mental institution for over 10 years. He'd certainly seen much stranger.

Were they here long? Kurapika wasn't sure. "What time is it?" Even as he asked he was afraid of their answer.

"Around 6-6:30?" The first guy guessed.

Shit. "Come on." The doctor stood up and quickly pulled Hisoka to his feet. "Your appointment with Leorio is at 7:30. I still have to show you your room and you need to get cleaned up." They both couldn't very well roam the hospital wearing the same clothes from yesterday! He pushed the 6th-floor button and waved to the two workers as the doors closed. "Thanks for saving us!" He called.

Hisoka leaned against the wall and placed his hands in his pockets. He felt different. Free. Liberated. Like he wanted to take the world by the throat and throttle it. Nothing could stand in the way of him or his aspirations. The invisible shackles that held him down were broken and he knew now that he was released he was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

The doctor curiously watched the redhead from the corner of his eye. Now that Hisoka was talking there were so many questions they could ask about his memory. So many theories they could attempt in order to help him recover who he was. So many possibilities. "So…" He rocked back on the heels of his feet. "Are you… feeling okay?"

And Hisoka flashed Kurapika a confident charming smile before answering, "Yeah. I'm feeling pretty good."


	9. Friends

 

Hisoka screamed.

The sound exploded inside the empty white room and echoed in the ears of the three males. Hisoka's arms were chained tightly above his head and his back was pressed firmly against the wall. The blood from his wounds stained the light colored cement and the thick red liquid gushed from his sides and fell onto the floor.

"Stop! Please stop!" Tears were streaming down his young adolescent face.

Chrollo roughly grabbed a handful of red hair and forced Hisoka to face him. "You're crying?" The teenage brunette lightly tapped the redhead's nose with the blood coated blade he was holding. "You're older than me." Chrollo innocently stated. "It's a little bit pathetic, don't you think?" He turned his head a little as he watched more of Hisoka's tears roll down his cheeks. "13-year-olds don't cry." As he said this he tapped the knife a little harder over Hisoka's nose. "Don't be so weak."

Kuroro put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Chrollo." He lightly scolded.

Chrollo looked up at his father then back to Hisoka. "Sorry…" He mumbled. He wasn't supposed to talk with the subjects too much during their punishments. And Hisoka broke one of the most important rules. He spoke.

"P-please." Hisoka choked out. He tried to pull against the chains but that only earned another rough yank of his hair from Chrollo.

"Shut up." Chrollo hissed. His lips were inches from the tortured teen's ear. "You do not speak!" Then he pressed the knife back into Hisoka's side and slowly trailed the blade from his chest to his navel. "Animals don't speak!"

^.~

Chrollo sat back in his desk chair and gently rocked back and forth as he read over Hisoka's files for the thousandth time. This was not what he expected when he came in for work this morning. As the Chief of Medicine, it was his job to not only manage the other doctors but also to oversee every patient that came through the doors. Imagine his surprise when he found out that Doctor Leorio was now seeing the very redhead he had been looking for.

Name: Hisoka (Last name unknown)

Age: Estimated somewhere in his mid to late 20s

Sex: Male

Diagnoses: Retrograde amnesia- inability to recall anything before a certain date. Usually the date of the accident or trauma.

Notes by Doctor Leorio Paradinight: 'Hisoka is an arrogant, rude, childish male who is prone to mischief when bored or annoyed. He doesn't respond well to polite conversations or idle chit chat. When working with him, it is best to be patient and demonstrate in a calm yet tough demeanor. Hisoka doesn't remember anything before the date Doctor Kurapika Kurta found him unconscious in the road. He has a distinctive tattoo on the back of his neck that spells out his name and he is not fond of being touched. It is also worth noting that Hisoka is mute. He has never been recorded saying anything.'

It was really upsetting to Chrollo that the redhead was now in the hands of his more than capable doctors. Leorio was the best amnesia specialist in the country and Kurapika was an expert psychoanalyst. It wouldn't take long for Leorio to pick apart the mute's (or at least, Chrollo still thought he was mute) memory or for Kurapika to realize that something was off about the trained killer.

He sighed and rubbed his temples. What was he supposed to do? He needed to confiscate Hisoka as soon as possible but doing so without drawing suspicion was not going to be an easy task.

A million thoughts and scenarios flooded into his mind.

The only thing that seemed remotely convincing was that he could suggest that since Hisoka was mute, he would have to be transferred to someone who worked with those types disabilities. Neither Kurapika or Leorio had any experience with a patient who could not speak. Chrollo could only imagine the amount of frustration they must be feeling by now. After hearing his suggestion, Leorio and Kurapika would definitely be relieved to get him off their hands.

Obviously, once he separated Hisoka from the doctors he would have to bring him back to the lab. If Dr. Paradinight's notes were accurate and Hisoka really did have amnesia, then Chrollo would have to assess the redhead immediately. Did Hisoka forget his training? Was his activation word still in effect?

Chrollo exhaled as his mind continued to buzz with his many thoughts.

Hisoka was noted to be mute. That was a good sign. It meant that years of training hadn't come completely undone. He still remembered the rules that were set in place for him. It's likely that he could still be activated into a homicidal machine with the simple command of 'Kill.' As long as he could still be used as a weapon, he still had value to the Chief of Medicine.

This was all good news. Sure, there were a few bumps in the road. Removing Hisoka from the doctors might be a little hassle, but still. It was pure luck that after losing Hisoka in the first place the redhead just kind of showed up in Chrollo's very own hospital. It was like fate was urging him to continue his work. Hisoka was destined to belong to him.

Chrollo wrote a quick e-mail to his most trusted employees. It read as this:

_Machi and Uvo,_

_Please meet in my office at 3:30 this afternoon._

_-C_

He pushed the send button then leaned back in his chair for only a moment. Then he went to write another e-mail to Hisoka's doctors.

_Dr. Paradinight and Dr. Kurta,_

_Please meet in my office at 2:30 this afternoon._

_-Chrollo Lucilfer_

Yeah, okay. Both messages weren't very warm or personal. But he was the boss. He was unrequired to be either. His father used to say 'A leader is merciless and cunning.' And Chrollo would always think back to those words whenever he made any decision. A leader is merciless and cunning.

The Chief of Medicine closed Hisoka's files and put them in his top drawer.

^.~

Leo's brow was raised and his elbows were resting on his knees. He was sitting in the same chair he always sat in that was placed in the examination room. Across from him were Kurapika and Hisoka, sitting on the couch. Leo came into work a little early so he could set up the new coffee table. It was made of wood this time. Not glass. "In the elevator?"

Kurapika nodded. His hands were neatly folded in his lap. "Yes. We were just getting back from an art class with Pariston and-"

"Wait, an _art_ class?" Leo shook his head. "Since when do you even care about art?" He'd tried to get Kurapika to go shopping for wall arts for the office once and the blonde had told him something along the lines of, 'Art doesn't cure patients. Doctors do.'

"I don't. Hisoka wanted to go." The smaller male waved off the sentiment. "Anyway. We were coming back from class and…" Hisoka stopped the elevator so Kurapika could go through his little breakdown without being noticed. "The elevator jammed."

"Oh." Leo leaned back in understanding. "Yeah I heard about that. Everyone had to take the stairs. Poor nurses. I can't imagine walking up and down 6 flights all night."

To that Kurapika turned his head shame. "Right." He mumbled.

Leo waited for a moment then said, "Well go on. How did you get him to talk?"

Hisoka's arms were crossed lazily over his chest and his feet were resting on top of Leo's brand new table. He watched the two doctors in silence, growing increasingly bored by the second.

"He just…did." Kurapika lied. "There wasn't any reason."

"No." Leo shook his head in disbelief. "There had to have been a reason. That's a huge milestone. That doesn't just break away without some type of significant event."

Kurapika blushed, remembering exactly why Hisoka spoke. "It just happened." He offered a small nervous laugh. "I can't really explain it."

Hisoka couldn't really explain it either. As he replayed the scenario in his head over and over again he tried to figure out exactly why he was able to talk. Before he met Kurapika, his mind was wired not to break certain rules. One of which was that he was never allowed to speak. He was programmed that way down to his very core. It was so strong inside of him that he would have literally died before breaking that rule.

But something snapped when they were in the elevator together. The way Kurapika's body shook and the loud cracked sobs that filled Hisoka's ears did something to him. It was like a switch being flipped on, and bright purifying light filled the dark void inside Hisoka's heart. It was like a dam ruptured and strong powerful waves flooded his soul and put out the smothering flame that was slowly killing him.

It was a feeling bigger than anything he's ever felt before. It knocked the air out of his lungs and the fear out of his body.

What was this feeling? This feeling he didn't recognize.

It wasn't just affection. The dull emotion 'affection' was nothing but a single star in the galaxy of what was now in Hisoka's heart for Kurapika.

In the elevator, as Kurapika desperately clung onto him for solace and comfort, something inside Hisoka's soul shattered.

Was there a word for this? Was there a word for this feeling that covered his heart like a warm blanket? Was there a word for when one person's soul was permanently marked by another? Was there a word for finally being resolved after years of being unclear of who you were?

He realized that he needed Kurapika. But not in the way that one needs another to be happy. Not in the way that one needs another to feel safe. Not in the way that one needs another to feel complete.

No.

He needed Kurapika in a way that someone needs another in order to be... well... simply, in order to _be_.

Hisoka looked at Kurapika from the corner of his eye. He could feel the nerves rolling off of the blonde in waves it made Hisoka feel a bit edgy. He lightly nudged the smaller male with his shoulder and flashed him a small smile. It was his silent way of telling him to relax. Not to mention, it was _just_ Leo. There was no reason for Kurapika to feel so anxious. The lanky brunette was the furthest thing from intimidating.

Kurapika got the message. He needed to collect himself. It was just hard not to feel all jumbled up when recalling the alarming events from last night. He didn't want anyone knowing that he was still dealing with that part of himself. He could only imagine what they'd think of him. He could lose his job if anyone suspected that he was too mentally unstable to hold his own.

Kurapika softly exhaled in a subtle attempt to calm his nerves. He was okay. Everything was okay. "It's great that he's talking now. That means we can help him recover his memories more efficiently, right?"

Leo grinned. "We?"

"Yes." Kurapika nodded. "I decided to assist you with him in between my own patients."

"That great!" Leorio almost jumped out his chair. "This will be a fun experience. I've never worked with another doctor before."

Kurapika furrowed his brow as he tried to recall if he had ever worked with someone else. "Neither have I." He'd never given it much thought before, but it would be unusual working with another doctor. He knew Leorio's style was very different from his own. Kurapika was calculating and distant while Leorio was emotional and warm. "It'll be… interesting to say the least."

Leorio flashed Hisoka an ecstatic smile. "Alright, so you have to tell me. What did you say?"

The redhead raised a questioning brow and Leo rephrased his question. "When you first spoke. What were the first words that came out your mouth?"

Hisoka felt the little blonde grimace beside him.

"Hisoka?" Leorio titled his head in question then looked to Kurapika. "Why isn't he talking?"

"Because it wasn't a question worth answering." Hisoka breathed out. Or at least… it wasn't a question Kurapika would want to be answered.

"What?" Leo was shocked for two reasons. The first being that Hisoka spoke. He half expected the redhead to have reverted back into his silent self. And the second was because the first thing he said to Leorio was an insult! "Hey! That's a very valid question!"

The redhead shrugged and looked away. "Just like 'What's your favorite color' was a valid question?"

"Are you still mad about that?!" Leorio was red with insult. "I'll have you know that _was_ a very valid question! It helped me analyze your personality!"

Hisoka sighed in disinterest. "Okay."

"You're being condescending?! _How_ can you be so condescending?! You just started talking!" A pause then, "And get your feet off that table! It's brand-new, you know!"

Hisoka held back a smile. He liked how riled the lanky doctor was getting. It was fun seeing Leo frazzled. He wondered how far he could push him…

"No." Kurapika warned lightly to the mischievous redhead. He already knew what Hisoka was thinking. "Stop driving him crazy."

"THANK you!" Leo exhaled and threw his arms in the air.

Kurapika shifted a little on the couch before speaking again. "So…" He felt a little awkward working in such a pleasant area. He was used to speaking to his patients behind glass barriers and surrounded by dark cement walls. Never on a comfy couch surrounded by puzzle games. He felt out of his element. "How does this," He beckoned around him with one hand. "All work exactly?"

"Wouldn't it be better if I explained that when you came in back during your lunch hour?" The brunette pushed up his glasses and nodded toward the wall clock. "You usually see your patients early in the morning don't you?" He didn't want Kurapika to be late and get scolded by their boss.

"Not always." Kurapika said. "Sometimes I see them right before the hospital closes for the night. I find that they are a little less… unpredictable… when they're just waking up or getting ready for bed."

Leo nodded in understanding. "Ahhh, yes. With your patients, I'd get why you'd need them to be more docile."

The brunette saying 'with your patients' piqued the Hisoka's interest a little bit. "What do you mean?" He asked with his feet still resting on the table.

"Kurapika works with some of the deadliest criminals in the world. It's why all his patients have to be separated from the rest of us."

"Really?" Hisoka looked at the little blonde who was avoiding his gaze. He didn't expect to hear that about Kurapika. The new information was so… interesting.

"Really. So I guess Leorio is right. I can learn the ends and outs of amnesiacs during my lunch break." Kurapika stood to his feet and smoothed out his shirt. He was thankful that he'd had time to change out of his paint covered clothes from yesterday before the work day started. He was a little disappointed that he didn't have time to wash his hair this morning, though. Instead of wearing it in its usual French braid, it was piled in a messy bun on top if his head. "What time do you have to work with your other patients?"

"There are no others. Not for the next couple of days anyway." Leo answered as he picked up the Rubix cube that was sitting on his new table. "When I found out about Hisoka's circumstances," Such as the past abuse and being mute. "I rearranged my schedule. He is a pretty complex case."

Kurapika nodded. That he is. "I guess I should get going then." He was hesitant in his movement, beginning to feel a bit of pain in his shoulders from sleeping on the elevator floor all night.

Suddenly Hisoka's hands were on the blonde's shoulders and he began to rub them. He lowered his head so his lips were next to the young doctor's ear. "Kurapika~."

Hisoka's warm breath brushed against his skin and an excited chill ran up the doctor's spin. This was the first time he'd heard Hisoka use his name. It was electrifying. "W-what?" He involuntarily leaned closer into the touch

"Your hair looks lovely today." He preferred the blonde's hair up. It left his elegant neck exposed. Hisoka felt another chill from the doctor and he grinned. It was obvious to him that his voice had a fun effect on Kurapika. Hisoka planned to take full advantage of that.

But of course, Kurapika quickly figured out what Hisoka was doing and became pretty irritated. He nudged the brute's face further away, but allowed him to keep rubbing his aching shoulders. "Can't imagine you'd think otherwise no matter how my hair looked." He said flatly.

To that Hisoka chuckled. "You know me well."

"That I do." Kurapika sighed. Hisoka was certainly much bolder now that he was talking. He almost jumped out his skin when he felt Hisoka's hands roam past his shoulders and move to his chest. "Alright, I'm going now." He pulled away from the annoying redhead and glared at him. Hisoka responded by flashing a very charming smile.

"Okay." Leo had not looked up because he was still working on the Rubix cube he picked up. How do people do these things anyway? "See ya later, Pika." He called while fiddling with the puzzle.

Kurapika shook his head and smiled at Leorio. "Bye guys." Then he glared at Hisoka once more before leaving. "Don't drive him crazy."

"Hm?" Hisoka put on his most innocent face. "That doesn't sound like me."

Leo scoffed. "Yeah, okay." He said sarcastically without looking away from the complex puzzle he was working on. He heard the large metal door open and then close and he knew that the blonde had left. "So," He let out a sigh as he put down the complicated little cube. He would try to solve it later. "I guess we should get started with today's tasks."

Hisoka sat back on the couch and put his feet back on the table. He wasn't really looking forward to his session. And he didn't particularly like the idea that Leo took it upon himself to clear his schedule for the next couple of days. Spending so much time on his unwanted forgotten memories was not something he really looked forward to doing. He picked up his deck of cards that Leo had thoughtfully placed on the end of the new table.

It wasn't a secret to the lanky doctor that Hisoka did not want to talk about his memory. At least not anytime soon. He'd have to spend a lot of time earning the amnesiac's trust before he could really pick apart his mind. "Here." He held out his hand. "Let me see those."

Hisoka handed the brunette the deck of cards and watched as the doctor tried to shuffle them. He didn't do a very good job, but Hisoka was just impressed that he didn't send them flying around the room.

"We're going to play a game." Leo said with a warm smile. "Go Fish. It was one of my favorites as a kid."

This caused Hisoka to lean forward in interest. He obviously remembered nothing about card games, but he knew that he liked games.

Maybe… being stuck with the doctor for the next few days wouldn't be so bad.

^.~

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Chrollo said without looking up.

Kurapika opened the door and stepped inside. "I got your e-mail. Is everything okay?" He moved to sit in the chair that was placed in front of Chrollo's desk.

The Chief of Medicine looked up and offered a pleasant smile. "Everything is fine." He assured. "Why isn't Leorio here as well? I believe I sent you two a group e-mail." He started to double-check on his computer, though he didn't need to. He knew for a fact he sent them a group e-mail.

"Oh, right." Kurapika nodded. "You did. But I believe he e-mailed you back and asked to reschedule? He's extremely busy with his new patient and is already behind with his progress. The patient is…a little stubborn." Kurapika admitted.

Chrollo's brow furrowed. Leorio did, in fact, send him an e-mail asking to reschedule but since Chrollo was so occupied with his plans for Hisoka, he never had the state of mind to check his computer. "I see…" His voice trailed off and Kurapika could hear the disappointment. "Well actually, that was what I wanted to talk about." He continued. "Since Dr. Paradinight didn't show up I suppose you can relay the message."

Kurapika didn't quite like the venomous way Chrollo said Leorio's name but at the same time, his colleague did stand their boss up… he supposed that was reason enough for Chrollo to be a little pissed. "I will."

"Good." Chrollo nodded. "I heard that his most recent patient is mute."

"Hisoka." Kurapika politely corrected. "That's the patient's name."

"Right," Chrollo nodded. "Hisoka. Well, I understand that Dr. Paradinight has never worked with someone with such a significant disability."

The blonde was a little confused. He didn't understand Chrollo's point.

"I'm going to have the patient transferred to a specialist. One who can handle his needs a little more efficiently."

Kurapika's eyes widened in shock. "Oh, not necessary!" He said a little louder than intended. "Hisoka is talking now."

"What?" Chrollo didn't even attempt to conceal his surprise. "But his files reported that he was mute."

To this, Kurapika nodded. "Yes, he _was_ , but he's talking now. It's really good news for Leorio who can now assess him a lot better. That's why he couldn't make the meeting today." The blonde explained. "So I guess you don't have to send Hisoka to the specialist after all."

Chrollo wanted to sigh but instead, he said, "What exactly made him talk?"

And the young doctor blushed. He hated that everyone's first question was 'what made him talk?' Like okay, sure, it was a very valid question, and one that he would ask if he were in their shoes. It was just one he really did not want to answer. "We're still unsure." He lied.

"I see…" Chrollo had a feeling that the blonde was hiding something from him and it put his senses on red alert. "Tell me, why are you assisting Leorio with this patient? You've never done so before."

Another blush-worthy question. But luckily Kurapika was able to control his embarrassment. "Hisoka has scars all over his body. It's my professional opinion that he has experienced severe physical abuse in his recent past. I'm on standby just in case Leorio needs a psychoanalyst to assess any aftermath behaviors from the patient." Which was… partially true. But he couldn't very well tell his boss the real reason. How professional would, 'Hisoka needs me and I think I need him.' sound?

Chrollo put his elbows on the desk and folded his hands. He pressed his lips to his fingers and looked into the blonde's eyes for a few seconds before answering. "I suppose since he is talking then I don't need to send him to a specialist." He regretfully said. "Thank you for the update. Please be sure to have his files updated every day with any new memories he might have. If he was abused like you claim, then it's important for me to know about all details, wouldn't you agree?"

"I agree." But even as he said it, something inside the young doctor did not agree. Something inside told him that there were certain things he would learn about Hisoka that he would have to keep hidden from the world.

"Good."

^.~

"Do you want to play again?" Leo asked as Hisoka reshuffled the cards.

Hisoka frowned and leaned back. "I suppose…"

Leo was still sitting across the coffee table in the fluffy armchair he usually sat in. Hisoka was on the couch. "I thought you liked playing Go Fish?"

Hisoka sighed. "Why would you even think that?"

"Well, because you like cards."

"Go Fish is boring." Hisoka was shuffling the cards in his own fancy way.

Leo was flabbergasted. "You didn't mention it before." He practically shouted the next line. "We've been playing for HOURS! You could have said something!"

Hisoka shrugged. "I was being polite."

"Being po- since when are _you_ polite?"

"I'm quite polite." Hisoka pointed out. "I let you win the last game didn't I?"

"Let me win!?" Leo shouted. "You didn't let me win! You're being a sore loser! That's the only reason you don't want to play!"

"Okay." Hisoka simply stated while playfully shuffling his cards. He really did let Leorio win. It's hard trying to play Go Fish with someone whose glasses reflect all their cards.

"Okay, fine." Leorio crossed his arms. It had been less than 24 hours since Hisoka started talking and already the doctor could feel the redhead's imprinted personality returning to him. Although the man had not confided in him yet, this was still progress. Not to mention, Leo was grateful the room wasn't as quiet as it was yesterday. The only sounds he heard then were the sounds of Hisoka's shuffling and Leo's book pages. "Are you…" He paused for a second. "ready to talk about what you remember?"

No, he most certainly was not ready. "With you?" Hisoka raised a brow.

"Yes with me, I am your doctor."

Hisoka pretended to look a little confused as his flicked a few cards in the air and then caught them in the middle of his shuffling. "Are you?"

"What?!" Leo almost fell out his chair. "Who the hell did you think I was this whole time?!"

Hisoka shrugged, his eyes darted between the jumping cards. "I thought you were an intern." Of course, he was lying. He knew that Leorio was his doctor. He even knew how brilliant of a doctor Leorio was. It was just that Hisoka had much more fun teasing the good doctor than he did try to recall his memories.

"An INTERN!?" Leo was yelling very loud now and it took all Hisoka's willpower not to crack a smile. "I'll have you know; I am one of the best amnesia specialists in the country! People travel the world to see me!"

Hisoka cocked his head to the side. "Why would they travel the world to see an intern?"

"I am not an intern!"

"A nurse then."

"No!" Leo couldn't believe what he was hearing. The nerve of him! "I'm your doctor!"

The redhead was grinning now. "I'm sorry. I thought you were an intern because I've never actually seen you do anything but sit there." He nodded towards where Leo was currently sitting. "It just doesn't seem very doctor-like to me."

Leo was red with exasperation. "I have very unique healing methods." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest again. "They worked, didn't they? Look how openly annoying you are."

Hisoka flicked a card in the air and caught it on his nose. It balanced almost perfectly. "I think that credit goes to my Kurapika. You know…my actual doctor."

"I'm your doctor!" Leo shouted. He didn't catch Hisoka saying ' _my_ Kurapika'.

But Hisoka wasn't listening anymore. He heard familiar footsteps approaching and instantly perked up. The card on his nose fell on the ground.

"Kurapika's coming."

Leo scoffed. "Well of course he is. It's almost his lunch hour."

"Hey, guys." Kurapika closed the door behind him. He was holding a box filled with food from the cafeteria. "Sorry. I would have gotten something, _not_ from the hospital but I didn't really have much time." Thanks to his meeting with Chrollo.

Hisoka jumped to his feet to pull the blonde into a hug. The box of food being the only thing stopping them from a full embrace. "I missed you."

Kurapika was blushing like crazy. Hisoka's hugs seemed much more intimate now that he was talking. "Uh…" His face got even redder. "You saw me a few hours ago."

"That was going to be my point." He kissed the blonde's forehead then pulled away.

"Hisoka." Kurapika scowled. "What did I say about that?" He moved to sit on the couch.

Hisoka shrugged before taking the food from Kurapika to set it on the table. Then he made himself comfortable right next to the little doctor. "I forgot." He didn't forget.

"It's not appropriate to kiss your doctor." Kurapika said for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"I thought Leorio was my doctor."

Leo rolled his eyes. "What happened to an intern?" He paused for a few seconds before asking the blonde. "What did the boss want?"

Kurapika shrugged. "He was going to send Hisoka to a specialist. Someone who knew how to handle mutes." He watched as Hisoka started to pull out the food. Kurapika was unsure what everyone liked to eat so he just bought a variety of things. "I told him that Hisoka had already begun talking though so he's still your patient, for now."

"Lucky me." Leorio said jokingly. That earned a card being thrown at him from Hisoka. "What do you mean, 'for now'?"

"I'm not sure…" Kurapika said thoughtfully. "He just… didn't seem too happy about Hisoka being here. Are we overcapacity?"

Leo shook his head. "I don't think so. Are you sure he wasn't just being his normal grumpy self? You have to admit; our boss isn't the most sunshiny guy."

"Maybe…" Kurapika absent-mindedly took the cards from Hisoka and mimicked the redhead's complicated shuffling. He didn't think as he did so, his hands just seemed to move to their own accord.

"Whoa!" Leorio leaned forward. "Have you done that before?"

Hisoka's eyes followed Kurapika's hands, proud that the blonde was able to copy him with such ease.

"No." Kurapika answered, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I've only seen Hisoka do it." He stopped shuffling and handed the cards back to the redhead.

" _Really?"_ Leo's eyes moved from Hisoka to Kurapika. They were a curious sort. There was something about them being around each other that really piqued his interest. When they were apart, it almost seemed like their personalities were dulled. But together they practically flourished. It was like they fed off each other's energy. They mimicked each other's moods and even seemed to know what the other was thinking. The two had such an abnormal link that it made Leorio want to sit them down and assess their minds.

But that was for another day.

Hisoka looked down at all the food in appreciation. Though he spent a lot of time avoiding his memories, he did know that he was not usually treated with such kindness. Kurapika doing something as simple as bringing him lunch meant the world to him. Though… everything Kurapika did meant the world to him.

"Jeez, Pika." Leo looked down at all the food on the table. Rice, tacos, burgers, baked chicken wings, fried chicken wings, macaroni and cheese, and alfredo pasta. "Were you having trouble deciding what you wanted?"

Kurapika smiled and looked away. He _did_ get a lot of food. And nothing even seemed to go together. Getting so much food seemed more like an action Hisoka would do. "I was unsure what you guys liked." He admitted. "I don't usually have lunch with other people."

Leorio laughed. "You did good. Next time just tone it down a bit."

Kurapika offered a small laugh. "Okay."

^.~

"Come in."

Machi and Uvogin stepped inside already sure of the news the boss had for them. Ever since Hisoka disappeared he had been in a particularly bad mood and refused to speak to them unless it was news about the missing redhead. Him suddenly calling them to a meeting could only mean one thing.

"You found him." Machi stated.

And Chrollo nodded. "Dr. Kurta found him on Friday. Apparently, he has amnesia."

"Where is he now?" Uvogin piped up from beside his female coworker.

"With Dr. Paradinight I assume." The pinked-haired woman answered. "He's the amnesia specialist. Really, Uvo you should get to know your co-workers better."

"Hey!" He defensively shouted. "I do security! It doesn't matter to me what all the doctors do. Do _you_ know all the security guards by name? Do _you_ know what their specific jobs are?"

"Yes." Machi responded, very matter-of-factly.

Chrollo tapped his fingers on his desk to get their attention again. "He's talking."

"Who?" Uvo almost thought Chrollo was referring to him. "Me?"

"Weapon 44." Machi corrected. "Hisoka. He's talking? Do you know how?"

"I don't." Chrollo exhaled and leaned back in his chair. "But I suspect Dr. Kurta knows and he's withholding information."

"That little shit." The security guard mumbled to himself.

Machi leaned against the door "I'll let you know if they check out any medications for him. If they discover anything about who he is, no doubt the doctors would want to prescribe him something for anger or anxiety." Machi was in charge of the pharmacy. Although she was a doctor as well, she specialized in medicines. "Does he remember anything yet?"

"I'm unsure." Chrollo looked as if he was thinking something he did not want to say. "His relationship with Dr. Kurta concerns me, though. I don't like them spending so much time together."

"Why?" Uvo asked. A dumb question.

"Don't be an idiot." Machi told him. "You know exactly why."

"Oh riiiight." The big man admitted sheepishly. "I almost forgot I guess. Because they're-"

"Yes." Machi interrupted. "And stop talking so loud. You're practically screaming."

"Well…" Uvogin's voice trailed off. "What do we do now?"

"We wait." Chrollo told them. He had already thought of a strategy to get Hisoka returned to him without drawing suspicion. But it would take a lot of time and would rely on Dr. Kurta's attachment to the redhead. "In the meantime, I need you two to look for something."

^.~

"So you picked yellow because it reminded you of Kurapika?" Leo laughed lightly.

Kurapika was blushing when he saw Hisoka nodding.

"His hair." The redhead answered. "It's beautiful." He said this as if this were not merely his opinion, but a fact that everyone should know.

"Yes, it is." Leo agreed as he finished his lunch. Hisoka leaned down to grab another wing and Leorio caught a glimpse of the tattoo on the back of his neck. He had almost forgotten that was there. "Do you remember where that came from?"

Yes. He had a vague memory rough hands in his hair and a scratchy voice in his ear. _'What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!'_

"No." He lied.

Kurapika immediately knew Hisoka was lying. He could sense it. Almost as if he, himself were lying. However, he did not feel like right now was the right time to force Hisoka to recall that part of his past. "Do you guys want to play a game?"

Leorio smiled. "Sure! Like what?"

Kurapika's eyes wondered to Hisoka's cards. "Maybe Go Fish?"

Hisoka was grateful to Kurapika for changing the subject and was willing to play any game. "Sure. I love Go Fish."

Leo almost choked on his food. "You said you hated that game!"

"I don't remember saying that." Hisoka lied while shuffling his cards in an extra fancy way. He was trying to show off to the cute blonde doctor. But of course, Kurapika acted unimpressed. He wasn't going to let Hisoka's showing off get rewarded with praise.

Leo gave Hisoka an annoyed stare as the redhead passed the cards from one hand to the other. "You don't remember saying that." He repeated.

"Nope. I don't remember a lot of things. I have amnesia." Hisoka started to pass out the cards to the others. "How could you possibly forget that?"

"Wh-I didn't forget you have amnesia, but you don't have THAT type of amnesia! You said you hated Go Fish!" Man, did that redhead know how to get to him.

"That's not how I remember it."

"I thought you said you didn't remember it!"

"I remember it didn't happen like that."

"Oh really?" Leo crossed his arms. "Then how did go?"

"I don't have to explain myself to an intern."

"I am not an intern!"

Kurapika smiled as he watched the two men go back and forth. He came to the realization that they were his very first friends. He'd never had friends before. It was an odd feeling having people in his life that he actually trusted. But at the same time, it was kind of nice.

He just knew that with them around, everything was going to be okay.


	10. Connected

Hisoka leaned back on the couch. He impatiently tapped his foot on the wooden coffee table as his golden eyes darted from the door to the clock.

"Calm down Hisoka, jeez. He's still coming. He's only fifteen minutes late." Leo didn't even bother looking up from his book. It's not like Hisoka was really listening to him anyway.

Hisoka responded with a glare then he went back to eyeing the clock.

"He's been coming every day for the past two months, do you really think he'd suddenly stop showing up?" Yes, it had been just over two months since Kurapika and Leorio had taken Hisoka as their patient and things were actually going pretty well. The three not only had a professional relationship but a personal one as well. They understood each other and they appreciated each other's companionship. And it was no secret that Leorio, Kurapika, and Hisoka were so close either. Their friendship was rare and it was something a lot of the other doctors and nurses liked to gossip about.

Of course, the real gossip lay in Kurapika and Hisoka's relationship. Everyone knew of the redhead's overly affectionate ways with the blonde. And to their surprise, Dr. Kurta never seemed to mind the extra attention. In fact, some believed he enjoyed it. Even Leorio could see that there was something sparking between the two.

Though, at one point this caused a bit of jealousy in the lanky man. He wondered why after years of getting nowhere with Kurapika, Hisoka was able to get close to him in just a few mere months.

However, that feeling never lasted long. After witnessing the relationship between the two, Leorio concluded that he really loved those guys. Hisoka and Kurapika were the closest friends he's had since the death of Pietro. He learned to appreciate whatever strange connection Hisoka and Kurapika had because if it wasn't for that, he would not have become friends with either one of them.

Leo sighed, completely unfazed by the glare. "You're such a baby pouting over fifteen minutes." Although it was a little odd that Kurapika was late. Every day for the past few months he always arrived right on time. "Why don't you do what I'm doing and read a book."

Hisoka took Leo's book and closed it for sole the purpose of losing the doctor's page. Then he oh-so-charmingly handed it back.

"Yeah." Leo rolled his eyes as he started searching for the page that he was on. "Way to show me you're not a baby."

Suddenly the door opened and Kurapika walked in holding a bag of food.

Hisoka was instantly at his side and he gave the little blonde a big hug.

Kurapika figured his tardiness would not go unnoticed by the redhead. Hisoka was a creature of desire and not having what he wanted when he wanted it usually made him pretty edgy. "Hisoka." Kurapika lightly shook the bags to indicate that the hug was about to make him drop the food.

Hisoka took the bags and placed them on the table. Kurapika looked so cute today. As cute as he did every day. He noticed that the blonde's hair was in a high ponytail instead of its usual braid. That, of course, only meant one thing.

Hisoka gently tugged at Kurapika's ponytail with a smile and a knowing look in his eye.

"Yeah." Kurapika sat down and started to pull out little boxes of rice, orange chicken, and noodles. "You're correct. I had a session with Youpi today." Ever since Youpi made the comment about liking Kurapika's braid, the blonde would always wear his hair in a ponytail during their appointments.

Leo's nose was in his book and he finally found the page he was on. He carefully placed a bookmark on that page before closing it and setting it on the table. "How can you understand what he means when he doesn't talk?" He asked, helping Kurapika pull out the paper plates and chopsticks. "I never know what he's saying with those looks of his."

Hisoka sat down next to Kurapika and started to make the blonde's plate. He knew Kurapika favored the noodles so he made sure to give him more of that than anything else. He hadn't actually spoken yet now that he thought about it. But sometimes he never had to with Kurapika around. Whether he spoke or not, the small doctor always knew exactly what he wanted to say before he even opened his mouth.

Kurapika shrugged as he took the plate Hisoka handed him. "I'm not sure. I just kind of… know." It was true. He didn't know how he was always able to tell. It was just something he quickly picked up on the first weekend they met.

Leo leaned back with his food. "Maybe I can read him too and I'm just not trying hard enough." He looked intensely at the redhead who was giving him an unimpressed stare.

"Hmm…." He pondered. "Oh yes, yes." Leo nodded as if he just discovered the secret to life. It made Kurapika and Hisoka exchange a look of amusement.

"You are thinking…" Leo tapped the end of his chopsticks on his plate. His face brightened in a large smile. "What a terrific doctor I am!"

Hisoka raised a brow. He reached over to Leo's book and pulled the bookmark out.

"Hey!" Leo sputtered. He turned to Kurapika who was laughing softly to himself. "Did you know he was going to do that?!"

The smiling blonde bit into his food and shook his head 'no'. But in truth… he had a feeling.

Hisoka triumphantly waved the bookmark in the air and Leo growled as he snatched it away.

"You are so infuriating; you know that?" Leo put his plate down and started to search for the page he was on again. "I don't know how Pika deals with you."

"I'm a likable person." Hisoka said and he picked up his food.

"Likable." Leo scoffed.

Kurapika chuckled and pointed his chopsticks forward. "You guys are always bickering. It's almost like you enjoy it."

Leorio snorted and waved off the accusation. "I promise you, I do not bicker with this fool because I enjoy it. He drives me crazy." He finally found his page again and placed the bookmark back in.

Hisoka reached over and pulled it back out. "I disagree. I think I'm quite charming."

"Will you STOP that?!" Leo snatched the bookmark out the grinning man's hand.

Kurapika was laughing. "Maybe you should try to remember the page you're on in case that happens again. You know… so you're not searching aimlessly through the book."

Leo was, in fact, searching aimlessly. "You encourage him, you know."

Kurapika put a hand on his chest and pretended he was insulted. "I do not. You tease him. That encourages him."

To this Leo started to smile. He did like to purposely push Hisoka's buttons. He'd come to secretly like their childish bickering. "Only when it's deserved." He was smiling even harder as he placed his bookmark back on the right page.

"Now what kind of response is that for a doctor to make?" Kurapika joked lightly before he took another bite of his food.

Leo rolled his eyes. "You really want to talk about what's appropriate for a doctor?" He nodded forward towards the two. Hisoka was holding Kurapika in his lap as he casually ate his lunch.

The small blonde blushed as he wiggled out Hisoka's arms. He'd grown accustomed to the redhead's overly affectionate ways as the months had gone by. Now, to his shame, he hardly noticed.

"Touché" Kurapika admitted.

As they ate their meal the three sat together in comfortable silence. There's just something about having good company that did not always require someone to talk. It was nice being around each other as each man was lost in thought.

Hisoka particularly had a lot on his mind. He was tossing and turning all of last night with a terrible nightmare. It seemed so clear, as if he were watching a video instead of dreaming. It became apparent to him when he woke up that what he was seeing was not a dream, but a memory.

_Hisoka grabbed Togari by the throat and pressed him against the wall. The curtain gently swayed as it closed behind them, shielding the struggle from outside view. He could hear his own blood rushing through his veins in excitement. He hoped the man would beg. He loved hearing them beg…_

Kurapika and Leorio had been asking him about his memories for a long time now. And each time they asked he would tell them that he could never remember anything. But now for the first time, he did remember something. Granted this was a repressed memory from _after_ the accident that caused his amnesia but it was still a memory nonetheless. And it was one that he would never tell Kurapika under any circumstances.

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

_Trails of blood from where Togari clawed at his skin dripped from Hisoka's wrist. Seeing his own blood really excited Hisoka. His golden eyes were locked onto Togari's as he lowered his head and licked the wound until it was clean. A slow malicious smile tugged at the corners of his blood stained lips._

_Ohh... this was really turning him on..._

Because how could Kurapika ever care for a monster?

^.~

The room was completely silent except for the rhythmic tapping of fingers over the keyboard. Chrollo was typing up some notes and modifying his work schedule. He received a lot of updates this month about Baise's patient, Komugi, and it was almost time for the girl to be taken to the next level of her treatment. Her medications would have to be lessened and she'd get a pass to leave hospital property throughout the day. With an escort of course. The girl was still blind.

But he was primarily staying late tonight to get some things prepared for Hisoka. It had taken a while for them to hear anything about another shipment of the concentrated protein that made Hisoka the ruthless machine that he was. Over 2 months actually. It didn't bold well with Chrollo but at the same time… Hisoka _did_ kill one of Kite's best men and then permanently blind the other. It took Kite a long time to find more people with a similar level of skills.

The mutated protein was the key ingredient to getting Hisoka back into his custody. It did things to the redhead. It made him lose himself in a blind wrathful bloodlust. The longer he was without it, the less muddled his mind would become. All those years of training, all the money and time spent, it would all be for nothing if Hisoka refused to kill anymore.

'When the shipment gets here, I can give it to him at night while he's unguarded.' Uvogin had told him a few weeks prior.

'Do you really think that's a good idea?' Machi answered on behalf of the boss. 'He's not even confined. What if he can't be controlled anymore? He'd go on a killing spree.' She held up her finger as if pointing out the obvious. 'Plus we have to give him multiple doses in order for his mind to go back to the way it was. He needs to be somewhere he can't run away.'

'Well.' Uvogin had a very thoughtful look on his face. 'Where would we put him then?'

'Uvo…' Machi sighed.

'What?' He snapped. 'It's not like we can just stick him in a cage-' Then realization hit.

'Exactly.' She replied.

After listening to his subordinates exchange words, Chrollo spoke. 'You brought what I asked.'

Machi quietly put the box on his desk. 'You're not really thinking about using that are you? Not after all the trouble we went through making sure no one ever saw it.'

Chrollo glanced at the little box before answering. 'Dr. Kurta is already suspicious of my intentions with Hisoka. It's best that we do it this way.'

She didn't want to say anything against the boss but in this case she felt she had to. 'But Uvo and I-'

'I know.' Chrollo interrupted. 'I'll take care of that. You and Uvogin won't be exposed.'

^.~

"What are you reading?" Hisoka peered over Kurapika's book to look at him. The two were in the recreational room and Partisan was in the middle of teaching his last class. Not that the two were paying any attention. But after that first Monday night with the elevator incident, it had become a ritual for the pair to take Pariston's last class every Monday together.

Hisoka was leaning with his butt on Kurapika's desk and his arms folded over his chest. He nosily tried cocking his head at an angle that would give him leverage to see the book's title.

Kurapika hardly noticed. "The Secret Garden." He mumbled, his nose still in the book.

Hisoka watched him for a few silent seconds then spoke up again. "You should be doing your work." A hollow assertion. They never actually did any of the assignments from the art class whenever they visited. They kind of just sat in the back and did their own thing as the class worked. The only reason he was complaining now was because he was trying to persuade Kurapika to pay attention to him.

"Mmhm" The blonde brushed him off again.

Hisoka huffed, pouting a little bit. He was bored. And his mind always thought of impish things when he was bored. It was in everyone's best interest that he found something to do.

This wasn't the first time Kurapika would just sit and read in class, but it was the first time that he was so into what he was reading that he didn't talk to Hisoka. The redhead tried not to let it get to him, but watching his fair-haired cherub so beautifully engulfed in a book was so hypnotizing that Hisoka was instinctually pulled to him.

"Ahh…" Hisoka's tone was hushed, so not to disturb other patients. "Yes. I have one of those."

Kurapika's eyebrow twitched in interest but he didn't say anything. It didn't matter. Hisoka saw the reaction and knew he got a bite.

"A secret garden." He lowered himself so his lips were next to Kurapika's ear.

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "Oh?"

"Yes. I found it. It's hidden away behind an enchanted barrier. If not, then everyone would know where it was and it wouldn't be a secret anymore."

Kurapika slowly put his book down and eyed Hisoka inquiringly. "Does your garden have charmed saplings in it as well?" He was playing along, interested in where Hisoka was going with this 'secret garden' business.

Charmed saplings? Hisoka grinned. Kurapika was unusually wordy after reading that book of his. It was very adorable. "Of course."

Kurapika smiled at their game. He was starting to see what Hisoka was trying to do. "And you want to take me to it?"

"Naturally." Came the redhead's nonchalant reply. His voice was calm but Kurapika could see the excited flicker dancing around in Hisoka's golden eyes. He knew how unpredictable Hisoka could be when he was feeling playful. The last time he got excited by something they ended up here at their first art class.

Though Kurapika really did enjoy Hisoka's company, despite his need to please Kurapika to no ends. He loved how comfortable they were around each other. Hisoka made him feel safe and treasured, a missed sensation he hadn't experienced in a long time. "I can't wait."

"Good." Hisoka suddenly picked up the blonde and held him bridal style.

"Whoa!" Kurapika's book dropped to the ground. "Hisoka, honestly. I take that back. We can wait!" He shouted. A few patients in the class looked up but then quickly went back to their work. If they stopped working every time Hisoka interrupted class, they'd literally never get anything done.

Still carrying the doctor, Hisoka made his way to the back of the classroom where the door to the stairwell was.

"Why aren't we taking the elevator?" Kurapika asked as Hisoka closed the door behind them. His eyes darted around the dark and empty stairwell in curiosity. It was hard to see and the only source of light were the dim bulbs that were on the wall.

"It's a secret garden." Hisoka smiled down at the little blonde, though since Kurapika couldn't see in the dark like him, the smile was almost unseen. "If you could take an elevator to it then it wouldn't be a big secret now would it?"

Kurapika wiggled in a weak attempt to get down from the hold, but of course the mischievous redhead would not stop carrying him. "Hisoka, put-" his sentence was cut off. Suddenly Hisoka was running up the stairs holding Kurapika tightly against his chest.

The little blonde was shocked at how easily his large companion seemed to move. He was not only sprinting upstairs but also holding a person as he did so. Did he ever run out of stamina?

"Hisoka." Kurapika could barely see anything as the redhead ran. Everything just went by in an endless blur. How many flights had they climbed by now? 2? 3? The playful brute didn't even seem tired yet. If anything it seemed that the higher to the top they got, the faster and more excited Hisoka would become. The doctor closed his eyes. "Slow down." He mumbled against the redhead's shirt. He spoke so lowly he didn't expect Hisoka to hear him.

But he did. Hisoka smoothly slowed his fast pace until he was no longer running. He walked a steady calm stride and smiled when he felt Kurapika's heartbeat pounding wildly against his own. "We're almost there." Hisoka told him.

Kurapika's eyes were still shut.

"Why are your eyes closed?" Hisoka asked.

"Are they?" He said without opening them.

"Yes." Hisoka lowered his head and lightly pressed his lips to Kurapika's eyelids.

This made the blonde's mouth part in surprise. He opened his eyes and glared. "Hisoka…" His voice was a little strained like he was going to scold him. But instead he said, "We just passed the 6th floor." That was the highest floor in the building and yet they were still walking upstairs.

"Yes." Hisoka nodded. "That's correct."

"Hisoka, where are we going?"

"To the secret garden." Hisoka serenely answered.

Kurapika let out a frustrated sigh but continued to let himself be carried. He knew that Hisoka would never put him in danger but he wasn't comfortable being in an unfamiliar setting so suddenly. Especially at night.

"Hisoka what are you-"

"Shh..." He kissed Kurapika on the forehead. "Trust me." He whispered and he pushed open the very last door at the highest part of the stairwell.

Icy wind whipped around the couple as they looked up into the night sky. There were no clouds and the stars glistened as if welcoming the two with a sweet, hospitable 'hello'.

"Your secret garden is on the roof?"

Hisoka smiled. "No. That would be silly." He carefully put the little blonde down and beckoned for him to follow.

Another breeze blew and it made Kurapika rub his arms for warmth. He kind of wished his was still being carried so he could steal Hisoka's body heat. "Hisoka. It's cold." He tried to see where the redhead had disappeared off to.

He heard Hisoka's footsteps and then some shuffling behind a stack of large crates and the blonde moved to peek around the boxes. He watched as Hisoka moved the worn looking crates out the way, then fold back a stained tarp that was thrown lazily over the ground. There, to his surprise, was a trap door. It was small and painted the same color as the rest of the roof.

Hisoka pulled open the door and slowly started to descend, leaving the soft command of, "Come on." floating in the crisp night air.

Kurapika hesitantly followed, weary of the creaking ladder that he guessed was many years old. It didn't help that everything was so dark that he couldn't even see the steps. But he could tell he was nearing the bottom because he could hear Hisoka shuffling some more under him. Before his feet made contact with the floor, two strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him in a tight hug from behind.

He felt Hisoka's warm breath on his ear as the redhead breathed in Kurapika's scent. The sensation of being held so intimately made his heart do flips he didn't know it could do. "H-Hisoka." He exhaled, allowing his body to relax under the embrace. "Where are we?"

Hisoka tensed with excitement and let go of Kurapika, careful that the blonde had his footing on the ground before doing so.

Suddenly, dim lights flickered, struggling to turn on, then they came to life and washed over the small room in a faint orange light.

Kurapika blinked, adjusting to the new view. He furrowed his brows in confusion. There was nothing here. Unless you count broken furniture and scattered papers, something. He saw Hisoka standing beside a transparent tattered red sheet that hung from the ceiling like a curtain. "Hisoka," Kurapika tried to squint to see through that suspiciously placed sheet. "Where's… the garden?" He felt silly saying that last part because they both knew there wasn't really a garden.

Hisoka's chuckle filled the room and danced around Kurapika. "I told you." He pulled back the veil and watched Kurapika's expression change. "Behind the enchanted barrier."

And Kurapika couldn't believe his eyes. Right in front of him was the most beautiful garden he'd ever seen in his life.

Books. So many books. And not just any books, no. These were all ancient classics! Books that would take someone years to get their hands on, and here he was standing in a room full of them.

Kurapika rushed to them, quickly scanning them all with his eyes as he brushed is fingertips over their hard, slightly dusty, spines. They all sat neatly on four large bookshelves and an old soft sofa was pushed against the wall facing the wooden treasures.

"I promised you saplings." Hisoka said as he pulled out a large brown book from its place and opened it as if picking up where he previously left off.

Kurapika ran to Hisoka and wrapped his arms around the man's waist. Hisoka barely kept himself from falling and he let out a soft "Oof."

Realizing what he'd done, the golden-haired lovely pulled away, a blush staining his cheeks. "H-how did you find this place?" He asked.

Hisoka kissed Kurapika's forehead. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "I stumbled across it during my first week in the hospital." He closed the book he was holding.

"Stumbled across it? How does one stumble across a place like this?"

Hisoka grinned. "I'm an adventurous man."

This made the blonde smile. "More like sneaky." A pause, then, "Wait you said during your first week here?"

"Yes."

Kurapika's eyes widened. Had he really kept this a secret for over 2 months then? That was kind of impressive. He looked towards all the books in admiration. "They must cost a fortune."

Hisoka laughed as he gently plopped on the sofa, putting his book to the side. "I can imagine. Most of these are decades old." He pulled Kurapika to sit in his lap and he wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. "It's odd this is here though." He thought out loud. "What was this building before it became a hospital?"

"A real-estate company."

"Hm…" That didn't sound like the type business to build a secret room. "And before that."

"I'm unsure." Kurapika admitted. "But I'm sure it was owned by someone wealthy at some point. Someone who could afford an isolated chamber built for their collection."

Hisoka was fiddling with the bottom of Kurapika's braid. "They never came back for their treasures." They obviously spent a lot of time putting this together. And yet this place looked so abandoned, most likely not visited for many years before Hisoka discovered it.

"Yeah." Kurapika said almost sadly. "I can't imagine anyone leaving these," He beckoned to the books in front of them. "willingly. They must have died before they could come back to get them." It was a little dark assuming that the previous owner died but… Kurapika had a dark mind. Death was eminent. He leaned back against Hisoka's chest and closed his eyes as he felt his braid becoming undone. "Don't tangle it." He warned under his breath. He felt Hisoka's chest rumble in soft laughter.

"I would never." He promised.

Kurapika leaned down and picked up the book that Hisoka left negligently on the floor. He stared down at the worn object in his hands and carefully touched the cover.

"The Book of Fairytales." Hisoka looked over Kurapika's shoulder. His arms reached around the small blonde so he could touch the cover as well. "I think you'd really like this."

"Did you finish it?"

"Most of it" Hisoka opened the book and skimmed over a few pages until he found the story he was looking for. "This one." He pointed to the title of the short story. "Is my favorite."

Kurapika frowned. "The Goose That Lay the Golden Eggs?" Of all the stories, he did not think that this would be the one that stood out to Hisoka.

"Yes. It's very relatable." The redhead nodded.

Kurapika looked back at Hisoka then looked to the book. The Goose That Lay the Golden Eggs was a classic. It was about a farming couple who owned a goose who… well… laid golden eggs. It would lay one egg a day. But the couple got greedy and assumed that the goose was filled with eggs so they chopped it open in the hopes that they could harvest all the eggs at once. In doing so, they realized that the goose had insides like any other goose. No gold was inside and the farming couple was forever without their golden egg laying goose.

The moral of the story was basically not to be greedy. Had they not tried to get more out of the goose, then they would still be receiving golden eggs.

"You're not very greedy." Kurapika pointed out. Hisoka actually seemed to have no interest in money or material things at all. Even during their first weekend together at the store Kurapika noticed this. When he offered to buy Hisoka new clothes he seemed completely uninterested at the idea. "I fail to see how you can relate to this."

And to that, Hisoka chuckled. Oh but he could relate all too well. Every day Kurapika gave Hisoka the golden egg that was his familiarity. But sometimes Hisoka would feel greedy and want more. The one egg was beginning to become not enough. He wanted more than what his goose would give him. And for that, Hisoka knew that he was selfish. He knew that it was selfish and undeserved of him to want more. And yet… he didn't care.

It was quiet in the room for a while as Kurapika read the story to himself. As he read along he could feel Hisoka's fingers gently running through his golden hair. He liked this feeling. It was nice being away from the world in this hidden chamber. However, at the same time, he was still slightly unsettled with Hisoka's comment. As he carefully read the story, Kurapika took in every word and every gesture. He longed to see how Hisoka related to the story because he longed to see how Hisoka saw himself.

Only a few minutes passed until he finished reading and then carefully, he closed the old book. He was quiet and he knew that Hisoka was patiently waiting for him to say something.

"I'm not a goose." He said softly.

Hisoka was still running his fingers through Kurapika's golden locks. "I know."

"And you're not the farmer."

His hands were hesitant for a moment before Hisoka said, "I know." And continued his soft caresses.

"And I don't like you relating to such greedy people." Kurapika continued. "You're a lot of things." Like, pushy, arrogant, annoying, stubborn, mischievous… "but you've never been greedy."

"Mmhm." Hisoka lowered his head and pressed his lips intimately on blonde's skin.

"D-don't try to distract me." Kurapika breathed out.

"I'm not." He kissed another spot on the blonde's neck.

"Liar." Kurapika instinctively titled his head, subtly baring his neck to him.

The older male's tongue flicked out and brushed against a really sensitive part of the doctor's throat and Kurapika felt a warm sensation stirring in the pit of his stomach.

"H-Hisoka." He whispered the name, barely audible. Hisoka's hot tongue was still drawing over him, sending shivers throughout his body. He arched his back and leaned closer. He could feel his body quiver in unexpected arousal.

Hisoka rubbed his thumb over Kurapika's hip bone and softly nipped at the blonde's shoulder.

Kurapika's eyes rolled back and he almost moaned in ecstasy. "Hisoka…" Hisoka's bites carefully trailed from his shoulder to his Adam's apple. He did groan this time as the air left his lungs. He ached for the redhead to do more. And there lie the problem.

"Hisoka." He said louder as he roughly pushed against the man in frustration. "We shouldn't."

He could feel that Kurapika longed for him. And the doctor's carnal desire was so powerful that it made Hisoka crazy with lust. "Why?"

Kurapika was blushing fiercely, unsure how to answer. He should have said, 'Because I'm your doctor and this is completely inappropriate.' But instead, he said, "I don't know..." He didn't want to look at the handsome man who was staring down at him so intently. He turned away, only to feel the warm hand of his companion on his cheek.

"Kurapika…" Hisoka's voice held so much emotion, so much affection, and adoration that Kurapika felt his heart skip a beat.

"It's just… I" He stumbled over his words, trying to piece together what he wanted to say. "You're my patient." But even as he said it, they both knew that wasn't the reason why he was so hesitant.

"What are you afraid of?" Hisoka's voice was a low whisper.

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Liar."

And just as Kurapika was about to answer that he wasn't lying, Hisoka leaned down and kissed him.

The doctor's eyes widened. He was unsure what to do since he'd never been kissed on his lips before. Not like this anyway. So he just closed his eyes and allowed it to happen. He allowed himself to, for once, be lost in a moment of blissful happiness.

Hisoka smelled so enticing. Like pine trees mixed in with the wildest of flowers. Being enveloped in all this affection made Kurapika experience something he hadn't in a long time. Pure, untainted, serenity. The demon in his heart quieted down, and the darkness he'd lived through all these years was beginning to fade as it was replaced by a shining gold light.

What was this feeling? This feeling he didn't recognize.

It frightened him. It made him feel like he was completely unguarded and exposed. He wasn't allowed to be happy. He wasn't supposed to feel less pain.

But here, with Hisoka... he did.

And not only did he like it. He needed it.

Unexpected tears rolled down Kurapika's cheeks. He was unsure why he was crying. Perhaps they were happy tears? Had he ever had those before?

He deepened the kiss and pressed himself closer into the caring embrace the redhead had him in. He felt Hisoka's hand gently wipe away his tears and the gesture itself broke Kurapika's heart in all the right places.

"Hisoka…" He was breathless as the older male pulled away. The kiss seemed to end too soon and Kurapika's lips tingled in longing as he spoke. "Please don't." Please don't hurt me.

Hisoka lightly pressed his forehead against Kurapika's. He brushed his thumb over the blonde's trembling lips before carefully wiping away a few stray tears that still stained his cheeks. "Okay." His voice was a husky whisper. "I promise."

Kurapika exhaled. He didn't understand. "You… promise?"

Hisoka nodded and leaned down to lightly kiss Kurapika once more. "I promise." He promised to never break him. He promised to never steal his heart and then leave him lonely and heartless. He promised to need him. He promised to want him. He promised to be the hand that picked him up when he fell. He promised to be the voice that guided him through his nightmares. He promised to be the arms that carried him away from his worries and fears. He promised to be the smile that made everything okay.

He promised.

Kurapika smiled and cupped his hand over Hisoka's cheek. "You promise." He repeated. He dragged his hand upwards and ran his fingers through the larger male's hair. Then he kissed him.

It was a kiss unlike their first. It wasn't filled with lust or desire, no. It was a kiss of tender devotion and affection. It was them piecing their broken souls together and connecting in a way that they had never connected with anyone before. It was a kiss that was only meant for each other.

When they pulled away, Kurapika laid his head on Hisoka's chest. The unnatural connection that they shared was becoming stronger, and already Kurapika could feel their auras shifting as they mingled together in harmony.

Hisoka leaned back until he was laying down and Kurapika was resting comfortably on top of him. His large arm was protectively draped over the blonde's smaller frame and he used his other hand to stroke his long golden hair.

They laid in each other's arms, peaceful and still.

In their secret garden.

^.~

"You won't be late?" Hisoka had one hand on the small of Kurapika's back and the other titling up the blonde's chin.

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "Yes. You've asked me that every day for the past few weeks and my answer is always the same. I will be on time. I'm always on time."

"You were late before." Hisoka pointed out. "The day you brought orange chicken and noodles for lunch."

Kurapika pulled away and shot the man a bewildered look. "That was _three_ weeks ago! And it was only that one time!" Jeez, Hisoka never let anything go!

"I haven't let it go." He smiled, purposely mirroring Kurapika's thoughts. Ever since their kiss in the 'secret garden' the two had become much closer. And not by choice.

It was as if their souls were merged now. They felt what the other felt and they knew what the other was thinking. Sometimes it almost seemed as if they could read each other's minds. It was… exciting. But worrying.

There was something strange going on with them. Something that they couldn't explain. At first, it felt like nothing. During his first weekend with Hisoka before the man ever talked, Kurapika always had a faint feeling of what the redhead wanted or desired. And as they grew closer, this feeling of knowing grew more powerful. They even mimicked each other's mannerisms, which explained how Kurapika was able to easily shuffle through Hisoka's cards despite never being able to do so before.

However, now it had gotten far past simply having a feeling of what the other wanted. Now they were practically on the same wavelength. More than ever, neither one of them had to say what they were thinking in order for it to be heard.

Hisoka seemed to enjoy this unexplained perk of their relationship. But it freaked Kurapika out as much as it thrilled him. Which is why he wanted it to be kept a secret. Including from their dear friend Leorio.

Hisoka lightly brushed away a few stray hairs from the blonde's face. Of course he would keep it a secret.

And Kurapika smiled.

"Don't forget, Pika." Leo happily pat Kurapika on the back, interrupting the two's quiet exchange of affection. "We have an early morning meeting with the boss tomorrow."

"Oh?" Hisoka raised a brow. He was surprised he didn't know about this.

"Yeah, it's not that big of a deal." The little blonde waved off the idea.

Leorio shook his head. "No, it's definitely a big deal. It's a mandatory meeting for all the doctors."

"All of them?" Hisoka tried to sound interested but all he really wanted to do was take Kurapika, pin him against the wall and-

"Yes." Kurapika hissed through angry teeth. A small blush tinted his cheeks from Hisoka's lustful aura. "All of them."

"I can assure you, this will be a pretty big deal." Leorio explained, unaware of Hisoka's naughty thoughts. "We've only ever had one mandatory full staffed meeting before."

"Really?" Now Hisoka was interested. "When?"

"When we were introduced to the three most dangerous criminals in the country." Leorio had just packed up his suitcase and was opening the door for them all to leave. "The King Siblings."

Hisoka led Kurapika out the examination room and watched as Leo began to lock up. "Kurapika's patients." He almost always forgot that the same sweet little fireball that he felt so much for was also a calculating psychoanalyst. "So you think tomorrow Kurapika will get new patients? People more dangerous than them?" That's hard to imagine. The King siblings, from what he's heard, were ruthless. Separated they were strong, but together they were unstoppable.

"Maybe." Leorio said. They were standing outside the door now and soon the three would all part ways for the night.

"Or." Kurapika suggested. "It could be a sexual harassment seminar." Though he doubted it. For some reason they never had one of these before. Most likely because none of the doctors here needed it. One time, one of the doctors grabbed Baise's shoulder to get her attention and she responded by punching him in the face. But in her defense it _was_ dark and she _does_ work with battered women and children. She hears a lot of bad stories.

"Whatever it is, don't be late." Leo lightly nudged the blonde.

"Yeah coming from the man who stood his boss up during his last meeting." Kurapika responded back. He paused, then. "I won't be late, Leorio."

And the next morning, Kurapika was late.

He didn't mean to be. He missed the subway this morning. He really needed to think about getting himself another car. And another cellphone.

He jogged to the conference room and was a little stunned to see all the doctors had already made it before him. He knew he was late but he didn't think he was _this_ late.

"Dr. Kurta." Chrollo said from his seat at the head of the long rectangular table. "Please, sit. We've been waiting for you."

Kurapika felt a little embarrassed as he moved to his chair that was right beside Leorio's. He didn't say anything as he quietly sat down and waited for the meeting to start.

Dr. Machi suddenly stood from her place next to the boss and walked over to the television stand against the wall.

"Thank you, everyone, for being here." Chrollo's voice sounded strained like he was stressed about something, but to Kurapika he felt like the tone was fake. "I'm just going to jump right to it. We have recently discovered some shocking news about one of our patients."

Really? Kurapika wanted to roll his eyes. Did they need a staff meeting for this? Chrollo could have just pulled the patient's doctor to the side and talked to them privately.

"Normally I wouldn't do this." Chrollo said, looking into Kurapika's stony eyes. "But seeing as how this particular patient has met most of you, and even some of your own patients, I thought it was necessary." He never stopped looking at Kurapika. "For your protection."

Kurapika shuddered, then the lights were turned off and the TV clicked on.

The room was silent.

The screen flickered a little and then a dim picture appeared on the screen. Slowly the lighting brightened and everything became less blurry as the video began to play. The camera was aimed down a dark alley and at first, it looked to be empty. But suddenly two men stepped into view. The way the angle was positioned made Kurapika think it must have been a footage from a security camera.

For a while the men just stood there, having a silent conversation with someone who wasn't seen. And although the video played no sound, it was easy to tell that the two men were becoming angry.

Then someone else stepped into view.

"Hisoka." Kurapika breathed. There was no mistaking it. That man was, in fact, Hisoka. He was even wearing the same tattered clothing that the redhead wore the night Kurapika found him.

Hisoka stood in front of them for a moment. He body was completely still like he wasn't even all there, and his head was lowered. He looked so empty.

Kurapika's eyes widened as the redhead swiftly moved in-between the men. His lips parted in horror and he could hear a few gasps in the room as the video showed Hisoka's fist slam down over one man's skull. The blood from the impact coated his fist.

It was unreal. Was that type of strength possible? Hisoka crushed a human skull with his bare hand.

It was… frightening.

The man wearing glasses shot Hisoka twice but the redhead seemed not to care. He reached in the shooter's mouth and ripped out his teeth. Then the video flickered a little, as if a few seconds were cut out, then it picked up with Hisoka holding the shooter close to him with his fingers over his eyes.

The conference room was filled with sharp intakes of breaths and some people had to look away. They could see the white eyeballs squish around his fingers as the redhead plunged them into the shooter's eye sockets.

Kurapika felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to see any more. He wanted to leave the room to throw up.

The video stopped, pausing on Hisoka staring down at his blooded hand surrounded by the bodies of his victims.

The room was quiet… then it exploded with panic. Everyone was talking over the other and a few doctors were started to freak out about the dangerous killer sleeping next door to their patients.

But Kurapika didn't hear any of this. All the shouting faded into the background as his eyes stayed locked on the screen.

That was Hisoka. The same Hisoka who snuck kisses from Kurapika when he thought the blonde wasn't looking. The same Hisoka whose eyes brightened at the thought of doing something silly. The same Hisoka who warmly chuckled as he playfully teased Leorio. The same Hisoka who grinned like a child as he shuffled through his cards.

It was the same Hisoka

His eyes were glued to the cold-blooded murderer on the screen before him.

That was Hisoka. The same Hisoka who bruised a woman's wrist for trying to touch his hair. The same Hisoka who cut his hand breaking a coffee table. The same Hisoka who always acted unpredictable and brash. The same Hisoka who killed two men in the middle of a dark alley.

It was the same Hisoka.

Kurapika felt a hand on his shoulder and a muffled voice tried to reach his ears. Someone was speaking to him.

"What?" Kurapika shook his head and forced himself to divert his eyes from the television. "What did you say?"

"I asked," Chrollo repeated, managing to look genuinely concerned, "If Hisoka had ever expressed any violent behaviors since you've been working with him?" The boss was now standing behind the two doctors who had been seeing the redhead in question.

Kurapika opened to his mouth say 'no' but Leo spoke up first.

"He has. But nothing that would lead us to believe that he was capable of something like… this." The lanky doctor had an unreadable expression on his face. He was concerned but he tried not to let it show. Not concerned for Hisoka, but more for Kurapika. Granted, although he had truly begun to care about Hisoka, Leorio could not turn a blind eye to this. His main concern was keeping everyone safe. Even if it meant from his dear friend.

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek and the room was buzzing with noise again. What the hell was Leorio trying to do?

"I've spent my entire career focused on the dangerously mentally ill." Kurapika stood up from his chair. "I've learned their mannerisms, their patterns, their lifestyle…" He avoided looking at Hisoka on the screen. "I've spent almost three months working very closely with Hisoka. It's my professional opinion that he is not a danger to himself or anyone else." What the hell was he saying? He saw the same video everyone else did. Why was he defending him?

It was Leorio who spoke up first and a gentle hand was placed the blonde's arm. "Maybe that's the problem…" Leo said softly. "Maybe you're too close to him."

Kurapika wanted to scream. He wanted to call Leo a traitor for even thinking such a thing. But he didn't. "Hisoka isn't dangerous." He bit off his words with so much venom he could almost taste it.

"How do you explain the video?" Beans was the next to talk. His voice was so soft it was almost unheard. "He killed someone, Dr. Kurta."

Kurapika looked to the floor. He couldn't explain the video. He couldn't even explain how he felt. It's just that something inside of him told him that there was an important piece to the story that was missing.

"Dr. Kurta." Chrollo walked to the front of the room and lightly tapped the screen, forcing Kurapika to face at the bloodied version of the man he'd grown attached to. "There is nothing to explain." He said softly. "He murdered one and mutilated the other."

He knew that what Chrollo said was true.

But still… something wasn't right…

"Why were they meeting in an alley?" Kurapika asked. His tone wasn't facetious or rude. It was genuinely asked out of pure curiosity.

He thought he saw something cross over Chrollo's face for a split second but he didn't have time to think about it before Leorio spoke again.

"It doesn't matter, Pika." He said gently. It hurt his heart to see his dear friend so distressed. But Kurapika needed to stop making excuses and accept this. As much as Leorio wished it wasn't true, it was. "Hisoka is a murderer. He's dangerous."

And the soulless look Kurapika gave Leorio for that comment almost knocked the air out his lungs.

"Hisoka will be moved immediately." Chrollo said. "He's no longer considered low-risk." He nodded to Machi, who took it upon herself to buzz security.

^.~

Kurapika angrily burst through the door, throwing it open so violently that it banged loudly against the wall. He glared at Leo, who was sitting behind the desk of his personal office.

"What the **FUCK** , Leorio!?" He yelled.

Leo calmly put his pen down and silently watched his fuming colleague.

"So you're just going to sit on your ass while they move Hisoka downstairs?! You're not going to say something to stop them?!" Kurapika's fists were clenched and shaking at his sides. He wanted to hit something.

Leo's voice was composed. "What could I say?"

And Kurapika threw his hands in the air. "Oh I don't know! That Hisoka isn't a _**FUCKIN'**_ psychopath! That he doesn't deserve to be caged up like some wild animal! That he actually cares about people other than himself!" He slammed his fist down on the brunette's desk, knocking over a few things. "You didn't even _try_! Instead you attacked him like just like everyone else did!"

The lanky doctor quietly stood up and moved beside the blonde. "Kurapika…" He felt his heart break for his friend.

Angry tears threatened to form but Kurapika shook his head and forced them away. "He is your fuckin friend!" He cried. "How can you sit with him every day for three months and not _feel_ anything!"

Kurapika slammed his fist down once more. "How can you share, laugh, and cry with someone and then act like it never happened?!"

Leo said nothing. He didn't need to.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" This time he was unsure if he was talking to Leorio, Hisoka, or himself. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Kurapika…"

But the blonde wasn't listening. His eyes darted around the room as if the answer to his problem was hiding here somewhere. "Maybe it wasn't him." He tried to desperately think of excuses. "Maybe it was someone who looked like him."

Leo stayed silent as he watched Kurapika's mind work.

No. It was him. Kurapika knew it was him. He'd recognize Hisoka anywhere.

The young doctor covered his face in anguish and groaned. He felt dizzy. He was miserable and angry. He was angry at Chrollo for finding the video, he was angry and Leorio for just standing there and letting it happen, he was angry at the other doctors for all their judgments, he was angry at Hisoka for doing what he did! But most of all… he was angry at himself for being so stupid!

What the fuck happened to cold and calculating?! How did he become this emotional sack of shit that suddenly started to care for people?! What the fuck was wrong with him!?

Leo reached out to touch Kurapika but the blonde pulled away.

Gone was the laughter. Gone was the friendship. Gone was the need to connect and be happy with his new companions.

This was all his fault. He should have never allowed it to get this far. He should have never allowed himself to be so weak and exposed around another person.

He was impersonal, just as he was before he ever saw Hisoka's lifeless body lying in the road. This was who he was. This was who he was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry." Kurapika's voice was dull as he withdrew from his once friend. His broken heart ached in his chest but he didn't care. He thrived on pain. It's how he was meant to live. In constant, unyielding agony. "I shouldn't have barged in here like this." He moved to the door.

"Kurapika…" Leorio took a step forward. He wanted to offer some comforting words. He wanted to make everything go back to the way it used to be. He wanted to. But he knew it wasn't that easy.

"I have to go." Kurapika mumbled as he stepped out the door. "I have a new patient I need to prepare for."

And then he was gone.

"Goodbye, Kurapika…" Leo sighed as he sat back in his chair.

Gone was the laughter.

Gone was the joy.

Gone was Kurapika…

Kurapika got the call a few hours later that his new patient was ready for him. He slipped on his white lab coat and grabbed his clipboard.

As the young blonde made his way downstairs, he looked over Hisoka's file although he didn't need to. All the information was already tucked away in his mind.

Name: Hisoka

Age: Estimated somewhere in his mid to late 20s

Sex: Male

Diagnoses: Retrograde amnesia- inability to recall anything before a certain date. Usually the date of the accident or trauma.

Notes: 'Subject has been established as dangerous. His strength has been measured to be above average so it is required that he stay locked in maximum security until further notice.

He is extremely unpredictable. Proceed with caution.'

Kurapika stood in front of the bulletproof glass barrier that caged the redhead. He noticed that unlike his other patients, Hisoka's wrists were clasped in thick iron chains. Most likely because of his strength. He was too dangerous to be unbound.

The doctor knew Hisoka could sense him nearby. He could feel the redhead's confusion and anger even through these thick walls.

"Kurapika." Hisoka breathed out the name without looking up. He had a small bruise on his cheek.

Kurapika sat down and pulled out his pen. "Good afternoon Hisoka." His voice was light and smooth, as it was with all his patients. "As you know, my name is Kurapika Kurta. I'll be your doctor today."


	11. Hurt

 

He felt dizzy. The throbbing pain that pounded the back of his skull made him want to lay down to slip into unconsciousness. He hadn't felt this kind of pain in a long time. A thousand questions buzzed within his mind but only one seemed to really matter. Who did this to him?

He tried to remember how this happened but his mind was still a little fuzzy. He remembered waiting in the examination room for his two favorite doctors to return from their morning meeting. He remembered lazily laying on the couch as he read Kurapika's book, 'The Secret Garden'. He remembered the door opening and his instincts firing up to the sound of a familiar dangerous heartbeat. He remembered dropping the book and turning to look at the person whose heart caused him so much anger but before he could set his eyes on them, he felt a blow to his head and then a needle pressed into his skin.

He lowered his head and deeply exhaled.

His mouth tasted metallic and his throat was scratchy.

Someone drugged him. Someone familiar and threatening. Someone who Hisoka knew. Someone he hated with every essence of his being.

Who did this to him?

Hisoka tried to lift his arms to clutch his pounding head and it was then that he realized he was shackled by his wrists. The idea of being confined like this made him very angry and he resisted the urge to growl in frustration.

He heard someone approaching.

"Kurapika." Hisoka breathed out the name without looking up.

"Good afternoon Hisoka. As you know, my name is Kurapika Kurta. I'll be your doctor today."

Hisoka's confusion grew. It felt like he was in some bizarre nightmare. Why was Kurapika talking like that?

Hisoka's words were very horse as he spoke softly through his fiery headache. "What are you doing?"

Kurapika's professional expression never wavered. It was something of a half-smile that held no true joy or pleasure. "I'm introducing myself."

That answer did nothing but raise more questions. "Why?"

A very dark and emotionless laugh escaped the doctor's bitter lips. "Because this is our first session together and it's a habit I suppose." His tone was polite but something about it chilled Hisoka's heart.

He stared silently into the blonde's eyes.

The look made Kurapika crossed one leg over the other and lightly tap his pen over the clipboard. "I'm trying to help you." He added.

Trying to help him. That didn't quite feel like the entire truth. "Why am I here?" Hisoka looked down at the heavy chains clasped over his wrists then back to the male before him. "Chained." He carefully lifted his arms then put them back down.

"You have amnesia." Kurapika shortly answered, purposely avoiding the true meaning behind his question.

"No." Hisoka felt like his wrists were burning under these iron clasps. "I know why I'm in the hospital. Why am I in this room?" But even as he asked, he was beginning to understand. "You said you were my doctor." The memory of Leo's voice echoed melodiously in his mind.

' _Kurapika works with some of the deadliest criminals in the world. It's why all his patients have to be separated from the rest of us.'_

Kurapika nodded. "That's correct."

"I'm here because you think I'm dangerous."

"Yes."

Hisoka fell silent.

"There's a video of you killing someone." The doctor softly added.

"Who?"

"Are you implying that you've killed too many to remember?"

"I'm implying that I can't remember anything."

"You…" Kurapika quickly scribbled down some notes to avoid his pained thoughts. "Don't seem too surprised."

Hisoka's eyes dropped down to the shackles over his wrists. He wasn't. He remembered killing the store clerk. He remembered how easy it was for him. How familiar and comforting it was to see the life drain from his eyes. "Is this customary for all your patients?"

Kurapika didn't say anything.

"The chains." Hisoka reiterated.

"No." The young doctor spoke truthfully. "This is the first time I've seen it done." To be honest…He was unsure if shackles were even considered humane.

"I'm honored then." Hisoka said softly.

Kurapika carefully looked over the large man before him. He almost didn't recognize him. His demeanor was so different. It was like his entire aura was slowly becoming more muddled and…dark.

"I'll talk to someone about having them removed." Kurapika stated.

Hisoka leaned his head back against the cool stone wall and closed his eyes. "It's fine." He breathed out, ignoring the pounding headache the pressured the back of his head. The room was spinning and his hearing was a bit distorted. What was he injected with? Was it supposed to last this long?

"Where did you get your tattoo?" Kurapika's emotionless voice brought him back into reality.

"What?"

"The tattoo on your neck. With your name on it." The blonde pointed forward with his pen.

Hisoka could hear the memory of a whirring needle and the echo of his agonizing screams. "I don't remember." He lied.

_The mad scientist cruelly laughed. The boy was bleeding so heavily that the entire back of his shirt was soaked in thick warm blood. 'What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!' He roared loudly as he pressed the needle down one last time._

_Salty tears drenched his face as the broken child painfully howled out his name._

' _HISOKA!'_

"You remember." Kurapika said. He knew Hisoka remembered. He could always tell when Hisoka was trying to hide something from him.

Hisoka winced. Of course, Kurapika would know he was lying. "Someone gave it to me." _'What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!'_ "Not by choice." He added.

"Why?" Kurapika asked, trying to force away the urge to talk about something else. He could sense that something was wrong. He was treading dangerous territory but now was not the time to back out, not when he was so close to the truth of Hisoka's past. "Why did someone do that to you?"

_The scientist's grin grew more devious. "It's to help you remember, my good boy."_

Hisoka turned his head away. "I don't know." He mumbled.

"You're lying."

"I'm lying."

"Tell me the truth."

"No."

"Hisoka." Kurapika sighed. "I'm trying to help you."

"Are you?" His tone was cold.

"Yes." The blonde sharply bit off. "I am."

"Then why am I chained?"

"Because you killed someone!" Kurapika shouted. "You crushed his skull with your fuckin' _hand_! Do you remember _that_?" A pause then, "No. Of course you don't."

"You're angry."

"No _**fuckin**_ shit, Hisoka! How am I supposed to feel?!"

"I…" Hisoka looked back at the doctor and immediately regretted it. Kurapika's eyes were glazed over and his face was flushed in emotion. "I don't know."

"Right. Of course you don't know." The doctor scoffed.

"I'm sorry."

"How long did you know?" He suddenly asked.

"What?"

"How long did you know you were a _**goddamn**_ killer!?"

Hisoka was silent for a few seconds before answering. "A while…" He admitted.

"Damn it!" Kurapika covered his face in his hands. "What the hell is wrong with me?!"

Hisoka wanted to reach the doctor and cursed the chains around his wrists.

Kurapika quickly stood up from his chair. "I don't know why I thought I could."

"Could what?" Did he really want to hear the answer? Did he really want to know?

Kurapika forced himself to look into the redhead's golden eyes. Who was this man he once thought was his friend? Who was this stranger staring back at him? "I thought I could handle this." His heart ached as he spoke. He could feel a part of him dying inside. "I thought I could deal with you and this shit but I can't."

"What are you saying?"

"I need to be away from you for a while."

"What-" Hisoka stopped. He could see the doctor's fist clenched tightly over his clipboard. He was holding on so hard that his knuckles were white. A small whisper, barely spoken loud enough even for Hisoka's ears escaped the blonde's trembling lips.

"You promised."

_Hisoka nodded and leaned down to lightly kiss Kurapika. "I promise." He promised to never break him. He promised to never steal his heart and then leave him lonely and heartless. He promised to need him. He promised to want him. He promised to be the hand that picked him up when he fell. He promised to be the voice that guided him through his nightmares. He promised to be the arms that carried him away from his worries and fears. He promised to be the smile that made everything okay._

_He promised._

Kurapika turned away from Hisoka, his long blonde braid lightly swayed at his hips as he did so. "I think…" His voice was hushed and shaken yet his words held so much weight. "I think I hate you."

And those hushed shaken words rang mercilessly around Hisoka's head like a wretched memorial melody. They echoed in his mind with icy acidity and burned him down to his soul.

_I think I hate you. I think I hate you. I think I hate you._

^.~

Kurapika pressed his hand over the cool wooden frame of his front door and hunched over. He held one hand over his stomach and threw up into the bushes. His chest heaved and his throat burned as he vomited yellow stomach acid in front of his house.

He coughed, feeling dizzy from sickness, as he fumbled with his keys to unlock the front door. It was difficult for him to stand without wobbling so he tried to steady himself by clutching the doorframe with one hand and resting his head on the hard wooden surface. His hands were cold but his face was flushed from heat. By the time he finally got the door open he was so weak that he almost collapsed in the entrance of his living room.

What was wrong with him?

His father's voice whispered from somewhere in the room. _'Poison…'_

Kurapika shook his head hoping that the action would shake away his father's lingering words.

"I should rest…" He mumbled to no one as he stumbled to the bedroom. "I'm tired…"

' _Kurapika~'_

Kurapika looked over his shoulder to face the gentle sound of his mother and was half surprised to see that no one was there. He was alone.

His fingers trembled as he began to unbutton his shirt. He was such a fuckin' mess. He tossed his shirt on the ground and slumped down on his bed. A groan escaped his lips has he covered his face in his hands.

' _Kurapika. You know how I feel about you making a mess.'_

He moved his hands from his face and saw that he was not in his bedroom anymore. He was… somewhere unrecognizable…yet familiar. It was a child's bedroom filled with colorful toys and stuffed animals. The carpeting design had bright numbers and shapes all over it and there was a small yellow bed pushed against the wall next to an oak framed window. Everything around him had a soft hazy glow as if he were looking through a pair of rose-colored glasses.

"Kurapika Kurta."

Kurapika slowly looked up to the person speaking to him. His eyes widened when he saw a beautiful woman he very much recognized standing in the doorway. It was his lucid and eloquent mother, Suzuka Kurta. She had her hands on her slender hips and her lipstick brushed lips were in a subtle, but still lovely, frown. She was wearing a simple black dress that hugged her sides as if the material was made for her. Her beautiful blonde hair was pinned back in a bun right on the nap of her neck.

"Pick up your mess." She said firmly. "You know we don't just throw our things on the ground."

Kurapika looked down in his lap and pouted from being scolded. He was two.

"Sorry mommy." He mumbled, a little embarrassed to be scolded. He trudged over to the toys that he carelessly tossed to the side and put them in his toy box.

"Thank you, sweetie." Suzuka instantly relaxed. She had a thing about messes. She felt that an orderly house meant an orderly life. "You're such a good boy." She pulled her son into her arms and smiled when Kurapika happily returned the hug.

"I love you, Pika."

"I love you too mommy."

Kurapika gasped and jumped off his bed. He knocked over the lamp that sat on his nightstand and watched it fall to the floor. The bulb shattered and broke into tiny shards across the carpet as the room was suddenly engulfed in darkness.

He shivered and rubbed his hands over his arms for warmth. It had been so long since he had a pleasant memory of his mother. It frightened him.

A raspy voice whispered in his ear. "I love you, Pika."

Kurapika cried out as he whipped around to look behind him. He saw nothing but darkness.

His heart was pounding and his breathing was short. He felt like he was suffocating. It was like the darkness that surrounded him was tightening its grasp over him until all the air drained from his body and there was nothing left but painful suffering.

He held out his shaking arms to feel the walls. The house was completely silent except for the low huffs of his uneven breaths. His fingers wrapped around the knob of the bathroom and he pushed the door open. It felt so unusually cold…

He rubbed the wall until he felt the switch then he flipped it on. He briefly closed his eyes when the room was suddenly washed over in with a bright light. He sighed and leaned against the bathroom sink in exhaustion. He was just tired. That's all this was. He was overworked and tired.

Kurapika splashed some warm water over his face and then stared blankly at his dripping reflection. Another voice spoke softly from behind him.

"You're grumpy and tired, son." It was his dad's voice. "Come on. It's nap time."

Kurapika glanced over his shoulder only for a second then looked back into the mirror. Only this time, he saw his father smiling back at him where his reflection should have been.

"After your nap we can go to the zoo." His dad said blissfully through the mirror. "But you have to sleep first. You don't want to be cranky while you're there."

Kurapika's vision blurred with tears as he carefully reached up to touch his father's face.

_The small boy was covered in blood as he brought up his shining eyes and looked towards the men. His lips trembled and his hands gently stroked Jin's cold cheek._

' _My daddy…' Kurapika whimpered._

"Daddy…"

The reflection of his father become distorted and his fatherly smile melted off his face with the rest of his skin and flesh. It left only the lifeless image of a bloodied skull and bulging eyes. " _ **You let the magic out**_!" It shrieked.

"Stop it!" Kurapika slammed his fists into the mirror and glass shattered all around him and clattered into the sink and on the tiled floor. His hand was cut and a stream of blood trailed down his wrist.

The young doctor looked down at the fragmented glass at his feet. He could see his own broken reflection staring back at him and he kicked the glass away.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. He had to focus. He could do this. He could do this. He just had to analyze the situation, weigh his options, and find a solution. Simple. It was so simple.

Kurapika slowly exhaled as he closed his eyes.

Name: Kurapika Kurta

Age: 19

Sex: Male

Diagnoses: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing or witnessing it. Symptoms may include hallucinations, flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety.

He lifted up his injured hand and examined the blood. It was getting all over his clothes. He'd have to-

 _ **"What are those!?"**_ The shrill and panicked voice of his father came from the living room. It made Kurapika's heart almost jump.

'Stay here,' His mind told him. 'Don't go in there…'

But his body wasn't listening. Kurapika carefully took a single step to the door and placed his hand on the cold doorknob.

'Don't go in there…' His mind warned again.

Kurapika pulled open the door and was faced with the bleak darkness of his hallway.

Down the hall he could see flickering lights coming from the living room.

Don't go in there.

Kurapika's shoes lightly clicked on the hardwood floor as he silently moved forward.

Don't go in there.

The light from the living room illuminated him as he got closer and closer.

Don't go in there.

"The magic!" His mother's cry sounded so close. He was almost there. "You'll let the magic out!"

Don't go in there.

He stepped inside the living room and held his breath. A horse whisper crawled from the back of his throat and left his slightly parted lips. "No."

His living room was covered in trash. Mountains and mountains of trash. The smell of sour piss and rodent shit wafted his nose and gagged him.

"Pika~"

Kurapika looked around for the source of the voice. "Mother…" He leaned down on his hands and knees, wincing as the familiar feeling of rotten trash squished in-between his fingers.

"Pika~! My sweet Pika."

The doctor stumbled and slipped as he climbed up the piles of garbage. He felt the sticky wet mush mash to the front of his clothes and tears stung the corners of his eyes. "Mommy." The lights flickered, and then they turned off leaving Kurapika in the darkness with nothing but a dim candlelight dancing in the distance.

" **NO!** " Suzuka cried out. "Don't! Please! You'll let the magic out! Bad things will happen!"

"Mommy!" Kurapika scrabbled to his feet and ran to the sound of her voice. In his rush, he slipped in a puddle of something wet and fell into the drenched litter.

"W-what..." He looked down beside him to see what he fell in.

And he screamed.

His father's skin was pale and his eyes were staring lifelessly into Kurapika's. A bloodied knife was lying in Jin's open palm and his wrists were slashed so deep that Kurapika could see the bone peeking from under the squishy pink flesh.

Blood. That's what he slipped in. He was soaking in his father's blood.

"Pika?" His mother's voice sounded so weak. So broken.

Kurapika turned to look behind him with tears streaming down his dirty cheeks. Jin's blood soaked through his clothes and burned his skin.

"Pika…"

His head was spinning when he slowly sat up on his knees. "Mommy?"

His mother was sitting on the floor in front of him holding handfuls of his long blonde hair.

"You cut it…" She looked up at him in horror as she cried. "You let the magic out."

"Mommy…" Kurapika whimpered. "Mommy…"

His mother's form grew darker and the blonde hair in her fingers started to melt away.

Her voice twisted into something monstrous. "You let the magic out…" She liquefied into the trash disappeared from his sight. "You let the magic out…"

Something warm soaked his shirt and he looked down. The cut on his hand was bleeding very heavily as the red liquid gushed out his wound.

Kurapika closed his eyes and pressed his palm to his heart.

He felt a pressure on his legs and opened his eyes.

His father's corpse was laying in his lap and his dead eyes staring into Kurapika's. Blood soaked his lap and stomach as the small blonde opened his mouth in shocked terror.

Jin's mouth was slightly ajar while he raised his hand up to touch Kurapika's face.

"I…I had to get the poison out." He whispered, then he melted in the same fashion that Suzuka had done until there was nothing left.

"Daddy!"

"Shh…" A finger pressed to his lips.

Red candlelight flickered and he was suddenly covered in blood from head to toe. The corpses of his parent's stood silently in front of him.

Kurapika whimpered. His father's slit wrists were dripping blood onto the garbage. His skin was ashen and his eyes were sucked in. The gunshot wounds in his mother's neck and under her eye were oozing pus and her toothy smile was coated in aged blood.

Kurapika was frozen. They didn't say anything to him. They just stared directly into his eyes with big bright smiles plastered on their faces. Their expressions were lifeless as their wounds slowly widened, getting worse.

"S-top..." Kurapika whispered.

His parents still stood unmoved and the wounds on them spread over their bodies getting more grotesque and gruesome.

"Stop it!" Kurapika screamed. But they wouldn't stop. They never stopped! They just stood there smiling at him as they got worse and worse. They didn't even care that they were hurting him!

"Do you want to hear a story?" His mother gurgled out through her teeth.

' _Do you… want me to tell you a story?' Suzuka didn't know what to do. She wanted to make it all better._

' _Just stop, Mom!' He didn't want a story! He wanted her to tell him that she would change. He wanted her to promise him that she would stop being mentally ill._

"Do you want to hear a story." His mother's corpse repeated.

"I'M SORRY!" Kurapika cried. He was so sorry. He was always so sorry. "I should have protected you better! I should have been more careful! I should have never cut my hair!"

Hot tears fell down his face as he sobbed loudly into his bloodied hands. "I'm so sorry!" His throat hurt from the strain as he screamed to his parents' lifeless smiling faces. " _ **I'M SO SORRY!"**_

His body was shaking so hard that his teeth rattled. He tugged at his hair while his violent sobs racked his small frame and he rocked on his knees. "Mommy… Daddy," He couldn't breathe. "You must…" He hiccupped and rubbed his face with his dirty bloodied hands. "You must hate me…"

For the first time in his life, Kurapika allowed himself to mourn.

His parents were dead.

They were dead and he bathed in their blood.

There was nothing in the world that could change that.

He was alone. He was all alone. The night he lost his parents was the night he lost himself. It was the night his heart was stolen. And how could he ever be anything when he had a missing piece?

"Pika…" His mother's loving voice made him lift up his head.

She was so beautiful. She was dressed in a plain black dress with her hair pinned in a neat little bun. "Oh Pika…" She leaned over her son and wrapped her arms around him.

"How could we ever hate such a wonderful boy?" Jin asked as he pulled his wife and son in his arms. He was unharmed, wearing a casual suit and he smelled like shaving cream.

Kurapika leaned into their hugs and sobbed. As he cried, his felt his mother gently wipe away his tears.

"I'm…" Kurapika's small voice was quaking and his body shook under the touches of his parents. "I'm broken without you."

"It's okay to be broken." Jin's soft voice filled the air and he slowly started to disappear. The garbage around them was fading as well and Kurapika reached out to grab his father's hand.

"Wait." He pleaded. "Please don't go."

Suzuka's light laugh danced around the room as she held her husband's hand and waved goodbye to her son. Her nice clothes were replaced by the same filthy ones Kurapika had seen her wear most of his life. "Bye, Pika." She sang. "Bye, bye."

"No!" Kurapika tried to dive at his parents and wrap his arms around their waists but they vanished in his arms leaving him alone and miserable. "I need you…"

He was broken. Broken and alone.

^.~

The days passed slowly and yet they still managed to blur into each other in one long delirious nightmare. The minutes passed in hours, and the hours in days. Each second was more agonizingly lonely than the last. Time was unkind in its dark hollow torment and fate seemed to be even crueler. Death swooping down and cloaking him in its delicate chilly veil would have been sanctioning.

Hisoka's hands were pressed over his bowed head, shielding his face from the world. He was sitting in the corner of the dark confinement with his knees brought to his chest. His breathing was steady and soft and he had goosebumps over his skin.

He heard familiar footsteps approaching but he did not react. There was no point in fighting anymore.

"Good afternoon." Dr. Franklin Gun's smile drew over his face like the slithering body of a snake. "I have a special treat for you today."

Hisoka didn't move.

"Aw, come now." The very large burly man said through his grin. "Don't be like that. Look at me."

The unresponsive redhead was so still that Franklin almost doubted if he was heard.

"I said look at me!" He slammed his large fist over the glass as he barked out the command. Then, ever so slowly, Hisoka lifted his head and stared into the eyes of the doctor in front of him. His expression was blank and lifeless, like his soul had been stolen from him.

"That's better." Franklin raised his arm in the air for Hisoka to see what he was holding. It was a tin bucket filled with soapy water. It sloshed off the sides as the large man moved to the door. "You're dirty." He said as he typed in the key code and stepped inside.

Hisoka lazily eyed the bucket of soapy water then looked to Franklin.

"Ahhh, but see." Franklin bent on the knees so he was eye level with the redhead. "First, your meds. Can't miss a dose today." He put the bucket on the ground beside him and started digging through his pockets. "I heard you already had your injection this morning so, lucky for you, I only brought the pills." He pulled out three heavy pills from his pocket and held them out to the redhead.

Hisoka frowned but took the medicine. He looked down at the pills in his hand in disdain. Though the injections were far more painful, the pills brought on very unpleasant emotions. The very first time Franklin gave them to Hisoka, he immediately recognized them.

_Machi carefully dropped all three pills into the redhead's mouth then took a few steps back._

_Hisoka only coughed at first, reflexively trying to remove the choking hazards from his throat, but Uvogin quickly clamped his large hand over the mute's mouth._

He used to take these before he lost his memory. It made him wonder if he was a mentally ill patient before he met Kurapika. What else would explain how he recognized the meds he was given?

"Hurry up." Franklin ordered. "Unless you want me to feed them to you."

Hisoka slowly brought his hands to his mouth and swallowed the pills, careful to do it one by one so he didn't choke. Then he silently opened his mouth to show that they were gone.

Franklin responded by dipping his hand in the bucket. "You're dirty." He repeated his earlier statement. "I get the pleasure of giving you a sponge bath."

Hisoka raised a questioning brow, though he didn't say anything. A sponge bath coming from Franklin was very suspect.

The doctor lifted his hand out the water and was clutching a stainless steel wire scrubber. "You're dirty." He said again.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed at the little silver thing. The 'sponge' that Franklin was going to clean him with was a little bundle of jagged metal wires tangled together in an ugly messy ball.

Franklin reached over and roughly grabbed Hisoka by the arm. His grip was tight and Hisoka could feel the strain reach his bones. He scowled and yanked his arm away from the larger man. He was not going to let Franklin anywhere near him with that.

"You stupid fuckin-" Franklin grabbed a fistful and Hisoka's hair and yanked him closer. Hisoka tried to pull away but the action only made Franklin pull at his hair harder. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Franklin growled through clenched teeth. "You should be grateful that I'm doing this for you. I don't see Dr. Kurta around here being as kind as me."

At the mention of Kurapika, Hisoka glared at the man in front of him. His neck was craned from the doctor's hold and he spoke a low warning. "Don't."

Franklin scowled. "You're pretty loyal for someone who's been abandoned. Fuckin idiot. That's probably why he left in the fir-"

Angrily Hisoka lifted his arms to strike Franklin but he was stopped by his chains. Instead, he slammed his forehead into the larger man's mouth.

Franklin let go of Hisoka and brought his huge hand to his bleeding gums. He ran his tongue over his teeth and spat out a mouthful of blood.

When he head-butt the doctor, Franklin's tooth cut a small wound on Hisoka's forehead and the blood was already trickling down around Hisoka's eyebrow. He slumped against the wall and his chains softly rattled with his movement. The blow he gave himself to the head stunned him and he felt dizzy from the impact.

"Son of a bitch…" Franklin grabbed Hisoka's hair again and aggressively slammed his head into the stone wall. "You're going to pay for that."

Hisoka's teeth rattled as his head made contact with the cement and he tried to blink away the pain. The back of his skull was throbbing and there was blood on the wall from his injury.

"You're dirty." The big man repeated. He reached down and picked up the steel scrubber again. Then he ripped the front of Hisoka's shirt and the struggling redhead brought his knee up to Franklin's chin.

The doctor's teeth smashed together over his tongue and he howled in pain. "Fuck!"

Suddenly, Hisoka felt a heavy fist slam into his stomach. He instantly dropped to his knees and coughed up blood.

Franklin used this opportunity to pin Hisoka down on his stomach. Blood dripped around Hisoka's eye and out his mouth as his cheek was pressed roughly onto the cold floor. He painfully groaned when he felt the pressure of Franklin's weight on his back. The larger man was sitting on top of him to keep him still.

Franklin held the scrubber tightly in his hand as he lathered it in soap. With his free hand, he ripped off the remains of the redhead's tattered shirt and threw it to the side. "Hold still." He told his struggling patient. He pressed the scrubber on Hisoka's bare skin and with as much force as he could muster, he started to scrub Hisoka's back.

Hisoka's scream echoed throughout the entire hall. It was throaty and broken and it sounded like it belonged to a wounded animal. It clawed out the back of his throat and escaped his mouth in a vicious roar.

But the sound only encouraged Franklin's actions as he continued to clean the redhead. The scrubber tore through Hisoka's skin leaving cruel hideous marks all down his back. The bubbly soap was red as it blended with the thick oozing blood seeping out the raw wounds.

Hisoka grabbed onto his chains and his muscles flexed as he screamed in writhing pain. The bloody soap bubbles ran over his sides and onto the floor. He yelled out as he felt the sharp metal dig into his skin and rip apart his flesh. Unwanted images and memories began to flood his mind as the world seemed to darken.

_The lights on the train flickered as it halted to its first stop. This made Hisoka hastily pull Kurapika in his lap and bury his nose in the smaller male's chest._

_Hisoka was frightened, but not of the subway train. He was frightened of himself._

_The young doctor tentatively wrapped his arms around the mute's neck and rested his chin on top of a mound of soft red hair. "It'll be okay." He whispered, gently rubbing the nerved-wracked male's back. "I'm right here."_

"I'm just cleaning you." Franklin said as he worked on the back of Hisoka's neck. "I'm just cleaning you."

Hisoka could hear the tearing sound of his flesh being pulled apart. It rang in his ears over and over as Franklin scrubbed his bloodied, damaged body.

He was alone.

No one would hear his screams.

No one would miss his existence.

He was a nothing.

Nothing but a monster.

Forgotten instincts suddenly flooded his mind and Hisoka's eyes faded away. His screaming died down and he felt nothing. No agony. No pain. Nothing. Every nerve in his body felt charged with power and adrenaline.

Hisoka was gone. He was replaced by a beast who only saw twisted rage and bloodlust.

Seeing Hisoka's body suddenly go still, Franklin wondered if the redhead had passed out from pain. He stopped his scrubbing and leaned over to look at the redhead.

"Wha-" Franklin's heart lurched in his chest as his gaze landed on the redhead's face. Hisoka was staring back at him with a large clownish grin. Blood trickled out the side of his mouth and his golden eyes glinted with a sinister perverse delight.

The doctor found himself being thrown hard to the ground when Hisoka quickly flipped onto his back. He landed on his stomach and felt the air leave his lungs in an 'oof'.

Hisoka mindlessly sat up and looked down at his chains. In a quick snap, he yanked the iron links off the ground and they broke in a loud 'clink'.

"S-shit." Franklin's arms shook as he tried to sit up but Hisoka crashed his foot over the doctor's skull, knocking him right back on the ground. The larger man's head slammed against the floor rattling his brain.

Hisoka moved so his head was bent over Franklin's. His red hair fell over his shoulders and framed his face. Slowly, he brought his finger to his lips and breathed out a soft, "Shh." Yes. This was what monsters did. This was what he was created to do. This was all he could ever be.

He wrapped the heavy iron chains around Franklin's neck and then rested his cheek on top of the struggling doctor's head.

Gurgled noises exited Franklin's lips as he violently kicked his legs and grasped at the chains around his throat. The ground was wet from soapy water and blood. Franklin's kicking splashed that mess all over the redhead's face.

Hisoka tightened the chains and ignored his thrashing around. "I'm just hugging you." He whispered lovingly. "I'm just hugging you."

Franklin's eyes were red as they bulged out their sockets. His lips were turning a light shade of purple that Hisoka thought looked like a pretty color. "Play with me." Hisoka cooed.

Franklin's neck bled around the chains as they dug deeper into his flesh. His lips swelled and his tongue lazily flapped out his mouth.

Hisoka was visibly bored with the experience and he gave the doctor a disappointed stare. "You're not trying very hard." He sighed. He cupped his hand under the larger man's chin and lightly tsked. Then with a quick flick of the wrist, he twisted Franklin's head all the way around. The cracking sound of the doctor's neck breaking splintered around the room and Franklin slumped lifelessly in the redhead's lap.

Hisoka stared down at the corpse on top of him. He felt so relieved. Like a drug addict that had finally got their hands on their fix. Slowly, he felt his bloodlust fade away.

He shook away the hazy blanket that was covering him, practically feeling it roll off his shoulders. The pain from his wounds slammed into him with so much force that he crouched over and groaned.

The room started to spin and he felt his consciousness starting to escape him. Hisoka swayed and then fell onto the ground. He landed in a puddle of bloodied soap bubbles and was covered in a thick layer of filth.

Franklin's head on his legs was heavy and it pained his already sore muscles.

He trembled.

He wanted to rub his arms for warmth but was too weak to move.

Was this death?

Please. Please let this be death.

Hisoka closed his eyes and prayed that he would soon breathe his last breath.

He was ready to die.

He was broken. Broken and alone.


	12. Those Words

 

"Kurapika!" Leorio waved at his friend from across the hospital lobby. Even though Kurapika had only been gone for a little over a week, seeing the lanky doctor this morning felt kind of strange. Leorio's hair was in its usual spiked mess and although he was wearing one of his signature blue suits, he didn't even try to maintain a professional demeanor as the suit was unbuttoned and slightly ruffled from his running around all morning. He was holding a stack of files in his arms and Kurapika worried that if Leorio was any more excited, he'd drop all his paperwork.

"Good morning, Leorio." The little blonde did not slow his stride as he headed towards the stairs with his clipboard pressed against his chest.

"Hey wait." The lanky doctor matched Kurapika's pace as he walked beside him. "Slow down, I thought that we could catch up."

"Catch up?" Now why in the world would he think that would be a good idea?

"Yes." Leorio nodded. "In all the years you've worked here you've never used your vacation days. It must've been nice finally getting a break from work." He rambled. "I like taking off a few days every couple of months just to keep my sanity." There was a small laugh in his voice. "So it's been almost two weeks. Did you go anywhere?"

Kurapika glanced at Leorio out the corner of his eye then looked away. "No."

"Oh, then I guess spending time at home is good too." Leorio brushed off the blonde's short answer and continued talking. "I do that sometimes."

Kurapika suddenly stopped walking and turned to face the taller male. "Leorio." He breathed out the name in a sigh. "What are you doing?"

Leorio smiled a very large Leo-like smile. "What do you mean?"

"This." Kurapika beckoned to him. "Why are you doing this?"

If Leorio wasn't holding all those papers he would have put his hands in his pockets. "You mean talking to you?"

Kurapika silently nodded. That was exactly what he meant.

For a brief moment, the lanky man considered lying to Kurapika. Maybe coming up with some lame excuse as to why he was acting so friendly this morning. Yes, he considered it, but in the end, he couldn't help but say the truth. "You're lonely." He began. "I'm trying to be there for you since…well you know."

"Since Hisoka was moved." Kurapika finished lowly. He gave Leorio a small stiff smile. "I'm not lonely. I've never been lonely working by myself."

"That's true but," Leorio shifted the papers in his arms a bit. "You never knew what you were missing before either." Kurapika had spent so much time with his new friends, he must feel empty without that friendship being there anymore. And Leorio only knew this because he himself was feeling lonely without his old companions.

"I'm fine Leorio." But Kurapika could not bring himself to look into the taller man's eyes. He knew that his own eyes would give away the truth. He was not fine.

Leo exhaled. "Well, I'm not." He admitted. "I miss being around you two. Obviously, I can't get that back with Hisoka but I was hoping me and you could still try."

Kurapika was a little stunned by the forwardness of Leorio words. He never considered the fact that Leorio might have missed the dynamic they all had.

"You're not the only one who lost someone, Pika." Leo softly added. "Hisoka was my friend too."

That's right. Hisoka and Leorio had their own bond that excluded Kurapika. One filled with jokes and teasing. One that was playful and dripping in loving compassion. Kurapika was so wrapped up in his own hurt that he had forgotten all about Leorio… "I'm sorry." He said. "I was being selfish."

Leorio quickly shook his head. "You weren't. Please don't apologize. I know how hard this has been on you. You guys were really close." A sentiment that had once brought a twinge of jealousy in the lanky doctor's heart. For a while, he wondered what was it about Hisoka that was so special. Why was he able to bring out a side of Kurapika that Leorio always wished he could see? What had Hisoka done to heal the little doctor's heart that Leorio could never do? Yes, for a long time he was so envious of this, but right now all he wanted was for the three of them to be reunited once more. "It's just… like I said. I missed your company."

Kurapika's eyes fell to the ground. "I'm not good company."

"Nonsense." Leorio lightly nudged his friend's shoulder with his own. "You're great, Pika."

Kurapika eyed the slightly grinning man. It was unusual being missed like this. Before he'd found Hisoka laying desolately in the road, Kurapika prided himself on having no friends. He never needed them and he saw companionship as pointless and time-consuming. But now… now everything was so different. "I guess… I kind of miss you too." He admitted.

"You do?" Leorio smiled with a slight blush. He did not expect Kurapika so admit that so freely. What he expected to happen was for Kurapika to brush him off and leave him standing alone in the lobby as he'd done many times before. "Maybe after work we can meet somewhere and catch up then?"

Kurapika paused in thought before speaking again. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"W-what!?" Leorio's face was beet red.

"It feels like this is an invitation to a date."

"We don't have to call it a date." Leorio explained. "It would just be… two friends having dinner." Oh damn, what did he do? Kurapika would be furious. He should _not_ have even brought up the idea of them hanging out after work. Not so early on anyway! Kurapika is going to think this whole thing was Leorio trying to lure him into a date!

"I'll…" Kurapika moved past Leorio and headed towards the stairs. "I'll think about it." He said. And he was telling the truth. He _would_ think about it. But not just for Leorio's sake. Kurapika really needed to get out of the house. The haunting visions of his parents were becoming increasingly more terrifying and he hadn't had a healthy amount of sleep since he first left the hospital. The main reason he came back when he did was because he was truly afraid of being left alone with his thoughts any longer.

"R-really?!" Leorio called. "That's great! I'll meet you here after work then. Around seven?"

Kurapika didn't turn around as he waved to the doctor. The gentle clicking of his shoes echoed in the stairwell as the blonde doctor descended. The fluorescent lights mockingly flickered above his head as they swayed to a rhythm he couldn't hear. The walls were dark ominous and the further the doctor traveled into the cold abyss, the more it felt like he was falling into a dark bottomless hole. It seemed like it had been so long since he was here… Yet it was like he'd never left.

"Hey."

"Hm?" Kurapika raised a brow to the head of security sitting once again behind the restricted area front desk. A job that literally just required the guard to check ID before buzzing someone through. "Uvogin?"

Uvogin held up his hand before he spoke. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." Kurapika put a hand on his hip. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Uvogin scowled. "Right, I forgot you're not big on small talk."

"Neither are you." Or at least… not that good at it. "So just tell me what you want."

Despite Kurapika's visible attitude, Uvogin didn't seem to be as bothered by it as he usually was. He just smiled and leaned his chin casually on the palm on his hand. "Are you seeing Hisoka today?"

Kurapika raised a brow before slowly nodding. He was, in fact, seeing Hisoka today along with two of his other patients later on this afternoon. But why did Uvogin care?

"And have you talked to the boss yet?"

"No." He answered. "I was going to after all my sessions. I was meaning to ask him if he had a copy of Dr. Franklin Gun's files. I understand he was taking over my patients during my leave of absence but he never emailed me any of their notes." Kurapika was actually planning on talking to Chrollo this morning but he got a little sidetracked by Leorio.

"Right." Uvogin sat up straight and nodded. "That's what I wanted to talk about."

"You wanted to talk about Dr. Gun's files?"

"I wanted to tell you that Franklin is dead."

"What?" Kurapika shook his head in disbelief, almost thinking that he must have heard Uvogin wrong. "Shit, that's really sad. He was a good doctor." Though he did have a certain… harshness about him that always made Kurapika a little uncomfortable. Still, though, he never actually wished for the man's death.

"Hisoka killed him." Uvogin's voice pulled the blonde out his thoughts. "We couldn't believe it at first. Franklin went in to bathe him and the guy just snapped. He strangled the poor doctor and then laid next to his dead body as if it were nothing."

Kurapika lightly chewed on his bottom lip and his brows furrowed. For a while, he didn't say anything. What could he say? Other than… "Why was Franklin in the same room as him?"

Uvogin shot the little blonde a disgusted look. "Your little psychopath murders a doctor and your first question is 'why was he in the room'? Way to be fuckin' respectful." He crossed his arms over his large chest and spoke in a low growl. "Like I said, he was giving the guy a sponge bath."

"In his cell? No that's not right." The little doctor's voice was dismissive of Uvo's anger. The wheels in his head were turning like a machine being powered on. His mind was like a microscope zooming in and out as it tried to focus on the signs behind his suspicions. "High-risk patients don't get sponge baths. Not even low-risk patients get sponge baths. They are moved to the back where they bathe themselves under maximum surveillance."

"Why does it fuckin' matter?" Uvogin practically yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "What matters is that while _you_ were on your little fuckin' vacation, an innocent man died."

Kurapika tapped his finger over his clipboard. It matters because it's shady. There is zero reason for Franklin to be giving a patient a bath, especially a high-risk patient. If anything, there are plenty of reasons _not_ to. Hisoka is considered so dangerous that he has to be chained up. He was measured to have such remarkable strength that he was able to crush someone's skull with his bare hand. Not to mention, bathing a patient, high-risk or not, is extremely inappropriate. What was Franklin thinking? "I'll speak to Chrollo about that when I'm finished here." Among other things. Kurapika had a lot to think about while he was away and had several questions for their boss pertaining to Hisoka's incarceration.

He didn't even look at the guard as he moved past Uvogin. He needed that absence of leave. He needed some time to gather his thoughts and put his emotions in the back seat. Right now was not the time for him to completely lose it. There were too many things that needed to be done and so many holes that needed to be filled. His mind wasn't as muddled as it was all those weeks ago. He was thinking clearer and the high-powered computer that was his brain was working in full throttle.

His thick blonde bun lightly bounced on top of his head as he walked and his focused chocolate eyes were sharp and alert. It felt like it had been years since he'd last seen Hisoka yet everything seemed so familiar.

He stepped in front of the glass and looked at the man who was chained to the ground. He readied a lot of questions for his once companion and he thought that he was prepared for whatever was to come. However, no amount of mental preparation made him ready for this.

Kurapika's lips parted and his limbs went numb. For a moment, he stopped breathing.

Hisoka's body looked broken as he slumped lifelessly against the wall and his skin was discolored from the harsh beating he had gotten earlier that week. It was torn and peeled in a very gruesome way. It looked like someone had tied him to a car and dragged him naked through the streets. He was covered in dried blood and scars and Kurapika could see from the bruising patterns on his sides that his ribs were damaged. There were deep dark rings around his eyes like he had not slept in days and his hair was a tattered dirty messed around his shoulders.

This didn't look like Franklin tried to give Hisoka a bath. It looked like torture.

Hisoka slowly lifted his head and stared ahead. He was unresponsive like he was looking straight through the doctor. His golden orbs were cold and distant.

"Hisoka." Kurapika's clipboard clattered to the ground and he took a small step towards the glass.

The redhead slowly dropped his eyes back into his lap.

Kurapika's heart lurched. It was clear to him that his suspicions were correct. Franklin was not just here giving Hisoka a bath. He was hurting him. "Hisoka…" Kurapika pressed his hand against the cool glass. His knees shook and his head was filled with questions and fears. He felt so much at this moment as he gazed sorrowfully at the man closest to his heart, but the one emotion that was the most powerful was guilt. Pure, untainted, guilt.

Kurapika almost doubled over as Hisoka's aura slammed into him. It was dripping with so much rage that Kurapika could taste it like bile that defiled the back of his throat. Hisoka's heart was blackened and his soul was corrupted. It was like he was a poisoned version who he once was. A ghost of his former self.

Kurapika wanted to look away in shame. How could he let this happen? "I didn't know that Franklin would hurt you." He said softly.

The darkness around Hisoka deepened and his vile hatred grew more powerful. He could feel the agony rolling off the small blonde's body in waves and it only added to his own wretchedness. Who was this little person before him? Why could he feel the pathetic creature's sorrow and guilt? Why did his presence feel so painstakingly familiar?

"Hisoka?" Something was different. Hisoka's aura was so hollow and void of depth. He gave off the same worryingly unoccupied atmosphere that one would feel around a sunken corpse.

Hisoka's muscles tensed from the continuous use of his name. He didn't like it being said by the blonde visitor before him. The word was too heavy with emotion and sentiment. It made him uneasy.

He decided that he wanted to kill this person.

"I don't know what to do…" Kurapika pressed his forehead against the glass and ignored the tears that threatened to form. He was so unsure, but he was a psychoanalyst. He wasn't supposed to be unsure. He was supposed to know how to handle these things. He was supposed to know what to do. So why did he feel more confused now than ever? Why was he questioning everything that he thought he knew?

Kurapika slowly reached over to the door.

Hisoka steadily watched the frail little doctor talk quietly to himself. The sound of the blonde's heartbeat made him feel oddly calm. He didn't understand this feeling, nor did he enjoy it. It was a vulnerability being around this person. He made him feel weak.

Yes…please, little blonde. Come into this room so that your blood may be spilled over this cold stone floor.

Kurapika was trembling and he bit his lower lip as he shakenly moved his hand over the lock. Who was this dangerously quiet man staring into his eyes? Whose murderous aura was entering his body and poisoning him from the insides? Was this Hisoka? It couldn't be. His hard golden orbs were not filled with playful warmth anymore. They were like ice.

Hisoka's eyes darted to the keypad that the little blonde was gently grazing with his fingertips.

Yes, pretty thing. Come into this room so your screams may echo throughout the halls.

Kurapika's hand would not stop shaking as he typed in the code to unlock the doors. The soft beeping of the keypad then the quiet hiss of the lock becoming undone seemed louder than usual as it danced around the doctor's ears.

He was afraid. Yes. He was afraid.

The door slowly opened as Kurapika gently pushed. His legs felt weak under him and he was unsure if he'd be able to stand much longer without collapsing. He never missed the hatred in the redhead's eyes as he stood silently in the doorway.

Run. He should run. He was in danger. What was he trying to solve by coming in here?

Hisoka licked his lips.

Come, little blonde. Step closer and play.

Kurapika took one cautious step towards Hisoka and he felt a chill run down his spine. The memory of Hisoka's loving words drifted encouragingly in his mind.

' _What are you afraid of?' Hisoka's voice was a low whisper._

' _I'm not afraid of anything.'_

' _Liar.'_

He was afraid. He was always afraid of Hisoka. But not because he thought Hisoka was dangerous.

"Let me…" Kurapika spoke in a broken whisper as he bent down in front of his damaged patient. "Look at your injuries."

He was afraid because he knew Hisoka wasn't.

Hisoka grabbed onto Kurapika's wrist and forced him to the ground. A low dangerous growl rumbled from the back of his throat and the thick aura of bloodlust exploded into the room with so much power that it knocked the breath out of Kurapika. Hisoka's nails dug deeply into the smaller male's skin causing blood to run down his shaking forearm.

"Hisoka." Kurapika's face was millimeters from Hisoka's and his knees were pressed on top of the larger man's legs. He could see the bloodlust dancing gleefully in the stony redhead's eyes. He could feel the anger and confusion writhing off his body in heavy waves.

Hisoka's confusion grew and his hold on the doctor tightened. A word escaped his lips without his permission and the memory of who this person was, filled him from the insides. "Kurapika." The name tasted bittersweet.

"Yes." Kurapika nodded and brushed away the stray tears that fell down his own cheeks. He ignored the steady stream of his blood that dripped off his arm. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he cupped the redhead's bruised cheek. "I'm so sorry."

Hisoka closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. Something else snuck up on him from the back of his subconscious.

A memory of a realization that he had come to understand while the blonde was away danced around in his soul. What was it? What were those words? Those words trying to desperately claw their way out from the most hidden part of his mind. Hisoka furrowed his brow trying to concentrate. It was on the tip of his tongue. The edge of his mind. He had forgotten something important and his brain was struggling to remind him. A notion. A single conception lingered on his tongue and left the sweet taste of vanilla and strawberries.

What was it?

Hisoka felt a soft invisible cotton wrap around his head and whisper gentle encouragements.

You know the words. Yes. You know the words that you are forgetting.

"Please." Kurapika's eyes darted down to Hisoka's hold over his arm then back to the redhead. "I want to look at your wounds."

Hisoka let go of the small fragile wrist of the doctor. "Kurapika, I'm sor-"

"Don't" Kurapika interrupted as his rubbed his bleeding wrist. "Just don't, okay?"

Hisoka silently nodded as he watched Kurapika rub his injured limb. His muscles strained against his restraints as his adjusted his body closer to the smaller male. "Here." Hisoka held Kurapika's hand. "Let me…"

The doctor gently pulled away and shook his head. "Don't be a fool. I'm here to help _you_ , remember?" He softly scolded. Kurapika sat up on his knees to look at Hisoka's head. His hair was caked in dried blood and it made the doctor cringe.

"I'm fine." Hisoka turned away.

"You know neither one of us is going to get any better if we both keep denying help."

And for the first time in a long time, Hisoka allowed himself to laugh. The sound was so warm as it filled the room with comforting fondness. "I suppose that's true." He admitted before leaning back and closing his eyes. "Go ahead and examine me then, doctor."

Kurapika was careful not to hurt his companion further as he tenderly moved his red hair to the side. He winced when he saw the large scar from the ugly gash Franklin put on the back of his skull. The longer he looked at Hisoka the more it pained him with guilt. What made it even worse was that he knew that it was his actions that did this. He wished he had never left.

His soul still longed for him to be near this dangerous patient of his.

"This looks really bad but… you're healing fast." Faster than expected actually. It was kind of shocking to see Hisoka's body recovering so quickly. Kurapika carefully forced Hisoka to lean forward so he could take a look at his back. The marks were faded but still there and still very noticeable.

"I'm fine." Hisoka lightly waved off the doctor's worry and leaned back against the wall again. Suddenly, that feeling from before started to creep up on him again. What was this feeling? What was this soft fluttering over his heart? What was this heavy weight on his chest? What was the name of the melody his soul kept playing over and over? What were those words that kept slipping through his fingers like soft beach sand?

What were those words? Those words that eluded him.

Kurapika sighed and tucked a stray piece of blonde hair behind his ear before sitting down flat on the ground with his legs crossed. "Would you like to talk about… what happened?" He tried to keep his voice steady, but it strained under his heavy heart. Even knowing everything that Hisoka had done, Kurapika still cared about him. And seeing Hisoka look so broken and hurt made the doctor feel like his soul was being ripped out of him.

Hisoka's eyes followed the doctor's actions and a tired smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Your hair."

What were those words? Those words that haunted him.

Kurapika resisted the urged to touch his hair again. It was thrown on top of his head in a messy, yet somehow still elegant, bun. "Yes? Does it remind you of something?" He wished he had his clipboard and pen with him to write down some notes.

Hisoka's shoulders lightly shook as he chuckled. "Yes." He breathed out. "You wore your hair like that before and I told you liked it."

What were those words? Those words that strengthened him.

_He lowered his head so his lips were next to the young doctor's ear. "Kurapika~."_

_This was the first time he'd heard Hisoka use his name. It was electrifying. "W-what?"_

_"Your hair looks lovely today."_

Kurapika raised a brow. "And…?"

Hisoka wasn't even trying to hide his amusement. "And I can't help but notice you're wearing it like that again."

Now Kurapika really wished he had his clipboard so he could pretend to write notes down in order to hide his blush. "And you think that I decided to wear my hair like this just because you said it looked nice?" He did. But he wasn't going to admit that.

The grinning redhead's chains rattled as he lightly trailed his nails over the doctor's jawline. "Yes."

What were those words? Those words that left him breathless.

The little blonde looked away and lightly scoffed yet the embarrassed twinkle in his eyes gave him away. "You're so full of yourself."

"You missed me." Hisoka's smile was so arrogantly mischievous. "It's very cute."

He swatted the man's hand away and scowled. It didn't take much for Hisoka to find the more exasperating side of himself again. "Don't try to distract me. What happened while I was away?" Kurapika quickly changed the subject back to the original topic.

And to his annoyance, Hisoka laughed.

"What's so funny?" He put his hands on his hips, a very non-threatening notion since he was sitting on the ground with his legs crossed like a child.

"You." The redhead nodded forward. "You're beautiful when you're bossy."

What were those words? Those words that excited him.

"You think I look beautiful no matter what I do." The blonde rolled his eyes to the ceiling and leaned back on his hands. "So forgive me if I don't take that compliment to heart."

Hisoka's warm laugh danced through the walls and hugged the young doctor's shoulders. "Yes, that's true." Then his voice trailed off as if he were thinking about something. With Kurapika so close to him, his darkness cleared and his mind was less scrambled. But it still bothered him that the blonde was so near while he was still so dangerous. "Why are you here?" The question was unexpected even to him.

What were those words? Those words that frightened him.

Kurapika scoffed. "Why would you even ask something like that? I'm your doctor."

"Ahhh… I see." Hisoka closed his eyes again.

"What?" Kurapika leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Hisoka's. He was frowning. "What do you see?"

A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as Hisoka wrapped his arms around the little blonde's waist. "Nothing." He forced Kurapika into his lap and rested his cheek on the doctor's head.

Hisoka's skin smelled like blood and dirt and it felt so cold. Kurapika rubbed his hands over the larger man's sides to try to share his warmth. "Tell me."

What were those words? Those words that revived him.

Hisoka shuddered under the doctor's soft touches and held him tighter. He was being selfish. He shouldn't be allowing Kurapika so close to him. Not when he knew how dangerous he was. "Is that all you are?" He lazily twirled a finger through the smaller male's hair. "My doctor?"

No. Of course not. "Yes."

Hisoka grinned. "Liar. Such a bad liar too."

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek as he gently pulled away from the embrace. As soon as he did that he suddenly felt very cold. Why was Hisoka always in his head? "Don't be a jerk." He mumbled.

"Don't be a liar. " Hisoka lightly tapped the doctor's nose. "You can't hide anything from me."

Kurapika shook his head. "Right. And you can't hide things from me either." Why was it so hard for him to talk to Hisoka without getting caught up in his emotions? Why can't he ever just think without feeling anything anymore. "I want you to tell me what happened." The idea of Hisoka being abused sent wrathful chills up his spine. "So I can help."

"I know." Hisoka mumbled. He distressingly adjusted himself on the wall and bit back a groan. He didn't want Kurapika to see how much pain he was still in.

What were those words? Those words that reformed him.

But Kurapika could see. And it hurt him from the bottom of his heart. "Please…" He sounded desperate. He didn't like seeing Hisoka like this. "Try and remember."

"Why do you assume I don't remember."

_Hisoka grabbed onto his chains and his muscles flexed as he screamed in writhing pain. The bloody soap bubbles ran over his sides and onto the floor. He yelled out as he felt the sharp metal dig into his skin and rip apart his flesh. The world seemed to darken._

Kurapika could hear something strange in Hisoka's voice and a part of him wanted to let the whole thing go, while a stronger part of him only wanted to dig deeper. "Then why won't you tell me?"

Hisoka was frowning as he rubbed his thumb over the blonde's trembling lips. "Because you care too much. I don't want to upset you."

What were those words? Those words that spellbound him.

The answer caught Kurapika by surprise. "You're my patient. I'm supposed to care."

And Hisoka shook his head at the beautifully foolish genius. "No. You care much more than that."

"You think so." Kurapika stated as he grabbed Hisoka's hand and placed it in his lap. "Only because you're trying to grasp onto something to keep you sane."

"No." He said again. "I can see it." Hisoka lightly tapped the doctor's head. "In your eyes."

What were those words? What were those words…?

Kurapika looked away suddenly self-conscious of his eyes. "You're only seeing the reflection of your own emotions." But that wasn't true. His heart had run away from him a long time ago and it was much too late to catch it.

Hisoka's soft voice gently pulled the blonde out his thoughts.

"I can see that too…"

What were those words…?

Kurapika's chocolate eyes bore into the redhead's deeply golden ones. "See what?"

What were those words…

Those magical words…

"You love me." Hisoka softly breathed out.

"Hisoka stop."

"It's okay though..." Hisoka's warm whisper caused Kurapika to be motionless

"...because I love you too."

Ahhh, yes. Those were the words. Those magical words. Those words he'd forgotten.

I love you.

And as he muttered them, he felt like his heart was shattered and then put back together around Kurapika's.

He finally remembered those words. Those words that completed him.

Kurapika sat in silence for a few moments before he slowly leaned forward and affectionately brushed a few stray red hairs from Hisoka's face. Hisoka's words frightened him but at the same time, they relieved him. He felt like a fog had been cleared from his conscious and a weight had been lifted from his heart. All of his confusion and all of his worries were fading away and everything was just so… clear. All from those words. Those magical words.

Hisoka smiled while carefully pulling Kurapika into his lap. His voice was low and tired. "I'm ready to talk about what happened now."

And Kurapika placed his hand over Hisoka's chest and deeply exhaled. "I'm ready to hear it."

^.~

Chrollo and Machi were walking inside the hospital together side by side. Machi was holding her digital scheduler with her nose pointed downward.

"You have a lunch meeting with the co-owner of Kite Bank of Loans and Investments tomorrow at noon." She read off rhythmically. "And one of the King siblings had to be reprimanded earlier today."

"Which one?"

Machi clicked a few buttons before answering. "The youngest, Meruem King. He was having a violent outburst once we removed his visitor."

"Visitor?"

"Yes." Machi held the little tablet against her chest as she spoke. "Baise's patient, Komugi, has been a regular visitor for quite some time now." Since they encouraged high-risk patients to have visitors, it was perfectly within protocol for her to do so as long as she stayed behind the glass.

Chrollo nodded. "What happened?"

Machi clicked her tongue in thought as she remembered the details written in the notes. "She fell, I believe. So security removed her before visiting hours were up to get her medical help." The fall wasn't bad, just a few scraps here and there. But the girl was blind and they had to be careful with her when she got injured. "Meruem wasn't very happy about that."

Briefly, Chrollo wondered how the nature of Komugi and Meruem's relationship even came to be but he quickly pushed those unnecessary thoughts away. Though he'd be interested to find out how they became so close, those matters were not very pressing right now. "And Hisoka? Any updates?"

Machi shook her head 'no'. After Hisoka killed Franklin, he was left alone for most of the day unless someone had to go in there to give him his injections and pills. When that happened, several security guards would have to be present in order to make sure everyone was safe from any harm the redhead could do to them.

Honestly, Franklin was supposed to have someone in the room with him when he went in there the day of his death but the big brute took it upon himself to handle it alone. It's a good thing Hisoka killed him because it saved Chrollo the trouble of firing him for his recklessness. "No changes with him." Machi said. "Though Dr. Kurta had a session with him today. His first one since his leave of absence actually."

"Interesting." Chrollo was very curious how Hisoka would react to Kurapika returning after all this time. The mutated protein that they were giving him was the exact same dosage they would give him before he ran away and lost him memory. It affected his moods and definitely changed him from the harmless fool that he had been when he was in Dr. Kurta's custody. A part of him kind of wished he could observe the two once they were reunited. "How many more injections before he's prepared?"

"Hmm…" That was hard to say. Hisoka had amnesia so he would not remember the years of obedience conditioning he had undergone his entire life. Granted, should he see Chrollo he might remember more of his past and revert back to the way he used to be but that was a gamble. The best bet they had was to continue to give him his medications until he eventually reverted back to his old self. "If I had to guess, I would say… 5? Maybe 6 to be safe."

That wasn't the best news. In order not to put too much strain on Hisoka's already weakened body, they would only be able to give him the max amount of medications once a day. Which meant they would not be able to remove him until at least 6 days from now. If Hisoka gained his memory while working with Dr. Kurta, then he could ruin everything that Chrollo worked so hard to achieve. Everything that his father worked so hard to achieve.

Including all the work that Kuroro put into their experiments, they had been through a total of 43 other weapons before Hisoka. All of which responded to the protein extract and vigorous training in different ways. Most died from the treatments, while others merely lost the very parts of them that made them human. Hisoka was without a doubt the strongest weapon they'd successfully created and there was no way that Chrollo could simply let him go. He needed him back and he needed him back as the killer he once was. Calculating, powerful, and most of all, obedient.

"Is Feitan still running tests at the lab?"

Machi nodded. "Yes. He and others have not stopped working since the incident. We all understand our main objective."

Chrollo nodded as he opened the door to his office. "Keep me informed on any new developments."

And before Machi could respond, a very chipper and unexpected voice came from inside the boss's office.

"Good evening, Dr. Lucilfer. It's absolutely wonderful to see you again."

Chrollo's eyes narrowed in slight surprise when he saw his guest sitting prompting across from his office desk. "Dr. Kurta. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow."

Kurapika smiled a very charming smile and sat with one of his legs elegantly crossed over the other. "I had some time. I thought I'd stop by."

Machi silently waved the boss farewell and closed the door behind her as she left the room.

"Alright then." Chrollo moved behind his desk and sat down. He didn't say anything as he waited for the young doctor to continue. It was unusual for Dr. Kurta to arrive unannounced. The little blonde was a very prompt and scheduled being. It made the boss a little suspicious.

"I was just curious if you had a copy of Franklin's files." His polite smile never wavered and a twinkle of something unrecognizable was in his eyes.

Chrollo doubtfully eyed his employee. "Yes, of course." He reached in his desk drawer for the papers.

"It's a shame about Franklin." Kurapika tsked, carefully watching his boss pull out the files.

"Yes but admittedly, he brought it on himself." After he gave the blonde what he was asking for, Chrollo leaned forward on his elbows. "Entering a high-risk patient's cell isn't very wise."

The image of Hisoka's wounds flashed in his mind and Kurapika clenched his fists in his lap, still wearing his smile. "I hear he was giving the patient a bath."

Chrollo managed to look surprised. "Oh? How uncalled for. I never got into the details of why he was in there."

Of course, he'd say that. "Though Hisoka didn't look very clean when I saw him." His words were stiff and he was trying not to let his anger show, though it was failing. "He was covered in scars."

"Consequences of their fight I imagine."

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek to keep from yelling. "He's still dirty. It's not very sanitary of a patient to sit in blood for a week."

Chrollo's finger lightly tapped over his desk and he could sense that the little doctor was becoming upset. "Yes of course. But I must think of the safety of my staff. I can't have any of them taking Hisoka to the showers if I fear he'd harm them too. Please don't forget he's much stronger than your other patients." He pointed out. "He broke his chains in that scuffle with Franklin and we were only able to restrain him with new ones when he was passed out from exhaustion after murdering the doctor."

Kurapika cringed. He wanted to hit something.

Chrollo noticed the stiffness in the young doctor's shoulders and he spoke in a tone that was soft and caring. "Are you alright, Kurapika? You seem upset." A pause then, "Though it's quite understandable. I know that the death of a co-worker is hard."

Kurapika almost winced from the casual use of his name and he hated that the concern his boss offered was almost comforting. "I'm fine." He quickly grabbed the papers off the desk and shoved them in his folder. "Just curious about a few things."

"Such as?"

"Such as, how did you find that video of Hisoka?"

If the unexpected question shocked Chrollo, he certainly didn't show it. "The police gave it to me of course."

Kurapika raised a brow in question. That answer did nothing but puzzle him more. "Why?"

"The day after Hisoka's admission I filed a missing person's report in the hopes that someone who knew him would contact us. I attached a photo of him along with his documentations and turned them into the police." Chrollo rattled off the explanation as if it didn't need to be stated.

"So…" The young doctor sighed. "When the police found the video of Hisoka, they recognized him and showed you the evidence."

"Correct." The boss nodded. "Usually, they'd arrest someone in Hisoka's position but since he was admitted to the hospital for amnesia and… other mental issues, they left him in my custody with the intent that I'd take care of it."

"Such as moving him to the high-risk section…" Kurapika quietly finished. Chrollo's explanation sounded very logical and it cleared up a lot of questions that he'd been mulling over these past few days…But still… Nothing felt right. Every time Kurapika asked him anything about Hisoka, Chrollo would have the perfect answer.

To another doctor, maybe this would be enough to put their minds at ease but to Kurapika, this just made his mind buzz with even more unfounded suspicions and worries. He felt like he was going crazy. He wished he could just let it go. Though he and Dr. Lucilfer never really saw things eye to eye, admittedly, if it wasn't for Chrollo's kindness, Kurapika might never have gotten this job.

Not many people were in a big rush to hire the arrogant prodigy 16-year-old with a muddled past a cynical attitude. Chrollo extended himself to Kurapika and saw the potential that lay in the little blonde. Was it right for Kurapika to start questioning his motives now after all these years of being a trusted, albeit, annoying mentor?

Kurapika deeply exhaled and closed his eyes. The image of Hisoka covered in dirt and blood filled his memory.

' _I'm sorry.' He whispered as he cupped the redhead's bruised cheek. 'I'm so sorry.'_

No, he couldn't just let it go. Not after seeing Hisoka so injured and broken. It didn't matter that Chrollo had once done him a kindness. That didn't change what was happening now. It didn't change the suspicions that he had for the man. He knew that something was off about Chrollo's story and he was going to find out what.

Chrollo spoke, interrupting Kurapika's disarrayed thoughts. "Well, Dr. Kurta. If you don't have any more questions concerning your patients, I need to get to work. And should you need anything else please let me know."

Kurapika stood up from his chair and slowly headed out the door. "Of course. Thank you, Dr. Lucilfer."

^.~

Kurapika entered the lobby with his nose in Hisoka's files. Franklin was a horrible note taker. He did not write anything about his patients' progress or failures. The only things that were scribbled on all these notes were dates and times that the big man would visit them.

Damn it. It's not like he could go and talk to him now that he's just a beaten corpse. If Kurapika wanted to find anything to incriminate Chrollo. He certainly would not find it in Franklin's notes.

"Oof." Kurapika suddenly hit a soft surface and he dropped all his files.

"I'm sorry." Leo said as he picked up the papers.

Kurapika noticed that the brunette sounded a little different than usual. Nervous maybe? "It's okay, Leo." He offered a small smile.

Leo handed the files back to Kurapika. "I should have been a bit more careful I guess." He paused for a moment then, "Listen, about our date…"

"Our… date?" What was Leorio… oh right. Their conversation from this morning. He had almost forgotten about that. "Yeah, dinner tonight. I remember now."

"I was thinking maybe this isn't such a good idea." His voice was rushed and filled with guilt. He had been thinking about this all day it seems. It just appeared to him that he was taking advantage of Kurapika's heartbreak and he certainly didn't want to do that. Not while the blonde was still mourning the loss of a deep friendship.

This all really took Kurapika for surprise. With everything that happened today, he had completely forgotten all about Leorio's dinner invite. Now _he_ felt guilty. "Um…"

Leo shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I mean you're probably busy and it's not very appropriate for coworkers to date anyway."

"I'm not busy." He said, surprising himself with his forwardness. But what could he say? He kind of missed Leorio. Plus… "This isn't a date." He reminded him. "It's two friends having dinner, remember?"

A large relieved smile flashed across the doctor's face. "I remember." Two friends having dinner. He didn't miss the fact that Kurapika called him a friend. It gave him a sense of happiness that he couldn't explain. He had his friend back.

"So we're still on for dinner then?" Kurapika asked as he adjusted his papers.

"Yeah. We can go after work." Leo tried not to sound too excited but he just couldn't help it. What had gotten into the little blonde? He was a different person from this morning. More confident and sure of himself.

Kurapika could almost hear Leo's smile as he walked away and started to head down to the restricted zone for his last appointment.

Leo's dinner invitation still lingered in his mind as he descended downstairs.


	13. Coupled Minds

 

"It was a dark and stormy night…" The small redhead whispered to himself as he hugged his knees. The rain pelted mercilessly down on him and the wind howled in his ears. Hisoka was trying to stay warm as best as he could by huddling into himself tightly under the patio of a flower shop. He was wearing torn baggy pants that were a bit too big for him, and a ripped sleeveless shirt that did nothing for warmth.

Hisoka shivered and rubbed his hands over his bare, wet arms. Thunder rumbled and he followed the noise with a pathetic sneeze. He was so hungry that he swore his stomach could be heard over the raging storm.

The front door of the shop opened and an angry man glared at Hisoka. "Hey, get outta here!" He threw a balled up newspaper at the shivering boy. "I can't have homeless kids scaring away my customers! It's hard enough trying to sell flowers in this weather!"

Hisoka picked up the crumpled newspaper and flattened it out on his lap before standing. "Yeah, yeah." He mumbled as he held the paper above his head and started walking through the rain. As he made his way down the street he tried his best to shield his small body from the freezing water droplets but of course, it was to no avail. He was walking slowly and the old thin paper was doing very little to keep him dry. It finally ripped under all the water and Hisoka sighed as he threw it to the ground.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his soaking wet pants and stopped in front of a bakery window. Even in the rain, he could smell the freshly baked sweets drifting out the chimney. The young boy pushed open the door and stepped inside.

He groaned in appreciation as his cold wet body was suddenly surrounded in the sweet smelling warmth trapped inside the cozy bakery. His nose and cheeks stung a little as they warmed up and they had a slight pink hue brushed across them.

"Can I help you?" An old lady was standing over him with her hands on her hips. She was holding a wooden spoon with cake batter on it.

Hisoka still had his hands in his wet pockets as he titled his head to the side to read the old lady's name tag. "Tsubone?" He said softly. "Uh. I'm just looking."

Tsubone frowned and shook the spoon in Hisoka's face. "Listen here, kid. You better have the money to pay for whatever you'll be 'looking' at."

And Hisoka's face puffed up in insult. "Hey! I have money!"

Tsubone gave Hisoka a once over. He was wearing baggy black pants that looked really worn out and were slightly ripped. His shirt was a tattered white thing that cut off a few inches above his navel. The scrawny little boy looked only about 8 and yet he was walking around in the rain without any parents. "I'm watching you." She warned. Homeless or not, this kid was not going to steal from her.

Hisoka waited until she walked away before he huffed, blowing up a few pieces of red hair off his forehead. She just assumed that he would steal something from her just because he was a kid? What a greedy old thing.

He _WAS_ planning on stealing from her but she didn't have to assume that!

Hisoka gleefully bounced down the isles for baked goods as he browsed for the tastiest thing that he should take. He'd occasionally shoot Tsubone a fake innocent grin and wave at her whenever she glared up at him from the front of the store.

The bell over the front door jingled as someone else stepped inside the shop. Tsubone turned to look who it was and Hisoka took that opportunity to take a biscuit and shove it in his pocket.

"Hello, sweetie." Tsubone spoke so kind to the new customer that Hisoka almost didn't recognize the old woman's voice. He wanted to yell at the older lady for being so nice to this person and so rude to him but as soon as he opened his mouth to do so, he caught a peek of the new company and he froze in his tracks.

There standing at the door was a very beautiful…girl? Yeah, girl. She was around his age it looked like. Maybe a year or two younger, and she wore a beautiful black laced Kimono. She was holding a fancy red umbrella and her eyes were as dark and alluring as her silky midnight hair.

Hisoka watched as the girl nodded at Tsubone and then closed her umbrella. She was completely dry, unlike raggedy Hisoka, and she looked like she came from a wealthy family.

The girl moved through the aisles looking at all the treats and loaves of bread and Hisoka quietly followed her while hiding behind the cases of food. He would peak over every once in a while to look at the beauty all the while stuffing more cookies and biscuits into his pockets.

The girl moved to the next aisle and Hisoka moved to follow. However, he was stopped when he ran into a hard, warm wall.

"You little thief!" Tsubone snapped as she grabbed Hisoka by the front of his shirt and lifted him up in the air. Hisoka held onto her clenched fist with both his hands so he wouldn't slip out his only owned top. "I told you I'd be watching!"

Hisoka kicked his feet in an effort to get down. "Let go of me!"

Tsubone shoved her free hand in Hisoka's wet pockets and pulled out a handful of crumbled, smushed baked goods. She threw the now worthless food on the ground and reached into his pockets to grab the remainder of what he stole.

After she was satisfied she dropped the boy on his bottom and snarled, "You better get outta here before I call the police!"

Hisoka scrambled to his feet and ran out the door. Hot angry tears rolled down his cheeks and mixed with the freezing rain. He was embarrassed and ashamed that he was scolded and handled so roughly by a stranger. He wanted to just disappear.

His foot slipped over a piece of trash carelessly lying on the sidewalk and he fell hard on his hands and knees.

"Damn it!" He yelled as he hit the pavement. His tiny fist bled from the abuse and he watched his blood mix in with the water and gently cascade into the street. The cold rain pelted his back adding to the cruel punishment of his hunger. Hisoka covered his face and growled out a frustrated sound that even he didn't recognize.

Suddenly, a shadow covered him and the rain stopped attacking his little body. He looked up and saw a red umbrella over his head.

"Here." A small voice said.

Hisoka turned around and saw the girl from earlier holding a large warm muffin. The steam wafted off the tasty treat and Hisoka's stomach growled in response. He wiped away his tears and took the muffin from the girl.

The girl's face was emotionless as she moved to walk away but Hisoka stopped her by grabbing her sleeve. He stood up and moved closer to her, holding the muffin protectively in-between them.

"Wait." He spoke softly. "Share with me."

The girl raised a brow. "Share?"

Hisoka nodded. "Yes. You bought it. We should share."

Her face was still emotionless as she answered the dirty redhead with a gentle, "Okay."

Hisoka was giddy. "Come on! I know a place we can eat this without getting wet." He grabbed her free hand and started to walk beside her, swinging their arms as they walked. "You're very pretty by the way." He smiled. "What's your name, girl?"

The girl looked down at the way Hisoka was holding her hand then she looked back into his gleefully dancing eyes. She'd never been touched this nicely before. "Illumi." She answered. "And I'm not a girl."

Hisoka's loud childish laugh echoed in the rain as the two boys walked side by side, hand in hand. The redhead was clutching the muffin, and the brunette, the umbrella.

They walked together in the rain, little voices barely heard the rumbling thunder around them. The storm seemed relentless but they didn't even seem to notice.

"Will this place you're taking us be warm?" Illumi's long elegant hair whipped around his head and he clutched the umbrella's handle a bit tighter. To anyone else Illumi didn't look like the cold was bothering him with his refined and graceful pace. However, Hisoka could feel the small chill under those thick silk kimono layers of his.

The little redhead wrapped his arm around Illumi's shoulders and pulled him closer. Their walk became slightly more awkward but both boys appreciated each other's warmth. "No." He said that in a tone that didn't sound like he was delivering bad news.

"Oh." Illumi sighed, shivering slightly under Hisoka's thumb that was softly rubbing his shoulders. "Okay." And he said that as if he hadn't just received such bad news. They were a strange pair boys.

They arrived at a park and their feet sunk into the soft wet sand that covered the playground. It was still storming and the dark sky rumbled above their heads.

"This way." Hisoka dragged Illumi by the hand towards a little bridge on the far end of the park. Under it were some large boulders that were just high enough to raise them off of the soaking wet ground.

Illumi looked up at the stone bridge above his head before climbing up the gravelly rocks with Hisoka close behind. The rain wasn't as heavy as it was before but they were grateful to finally be covered.

"Why did you bring us here?" Illumi asked while still holding on to his umbrella.

Hisoka leaned in so he was closer to Illumi. He hungrily began to uncover his muffin. "It's the driest place I know." He said simply.

The answer surprised Illumi. Was that true? Was this really the only place Hisoka could go during trying weather? It was quite sad. "Okay." Was all he said before laying his head on his new companion's shoulder.

The rain was slowly starting to die down but the dark clouds stayed in place, threatening to bring back the storm at any moment.

"Illumi?" Hisoka lightly kicked his feet as he bit into his muffin.

"Hm?" Illumi leaned over to take a bite of the treat. He had little crumbs on his lips and Hisoka brushed them off with his thumb.

"Do you think we were put here for a reason?" A pretty profound question for an 8-year-old but Hisoka had been on his own for years. By now he had come to think about a lot of things that most kids wouldn't have to.

Illumi swallowed his food then laid his head back on the little redhead's shoulder. He told himself that he did it for warmth and not because he craved the affection that he was never before lucky enough to receive. "We were put here to die." A cynical answer, but he had a cynical childhood.

Hisoka was silent for a second then he laughed. He put his arm around Illumi and forced the brunette into a hug. "I don't think so Illu~!" He sang softly. "I think I was put here to do something important."

Illumi scoffed but allowed Hisoka to hold him. The sensation felt surprisingly nice. "You're optimistic, Hiso." Illumi was mocking the dumb nickname Hisoka gave him when he said 'Hiso'. "For a homeless kid."

"I suppose I am." His smile was big and bright as he ate his still warm pastry. "But I think I have to be."

Illumi frowned. "Optimism is for children."

"Maybe it is but…" Hisoka handed the last of the muffin to Illumi then leaned back against the cold bridge stone. "This can't be all I'm here for." He watched the remaining rain droplets drip onto the wet grass. "There has to be more than pain."

Illumi tucked his long dark hair behind his ear. When he did that, his sleeve shifted and revealed some ugly scars on his arm. "There is only pain." He whispered. "Only pain and death."

Only pain and death. No, that can't be true. Too much of their short little lives had already been filled with so much pain and death. This couldn't be all there was. Hisoka leaned over and kissed Illumi's scars. "Where did those come from?"

Illumi swallowed the last bit of muffin and then closed his eyes in the hopes that he'd fall asleep. "Parents." He said, adding nothing else to the explanation. "Why are you by yourself?"

"Parents." Hisoka mumbled back. He rested his head over Illumi's and closed his eyes as well. The stone felt cold on his back and it sent chills up his spine.

Both young boys were alone and both were missing something that they were unaware they needed. Something like companionship and the desire to feel as if their existence was appreciated by someone. There was never any need for either of them to explain where they came from or what they'd been through because it didn't matter to them. All that mattered was that for once in their lives, they were not alone.

^.~

Illumi's long midnight hair hung loosely down his back. It was lovely without a hair out of place as it swung back and forth at his hips while he walked. His broad shoulders were pushed back and his chin was slightly tilted up as if he were royalty. He walked down the dark hall filled with empty cells on either side of both walls. The rooms were directly next to each other divided only by dark steel bars. They were once all occupied by other weapons still in the beginning stages of their transformation and now they lay desolate as reminders of all the ones who died due to their weakness.

Yet even as Illumi walked through this empty bleak hall, his stride was steady and airy, as if he was walking through King Midas's golden garden. The gloomy hopeless cages did nothing to falter the dignity in his strong physique.

He stopped in front of his own cell and waited patiently for the door to unlock. The short pink haired woman, Machi, pressed a button on her watch and it opened with a small hiss. Illumi stepped inside and watched the thick steel gate shut tightly behind him.

"Weapon 43 was tested 2.5 hours after Weapon 44. He has exhibited faster reaction times and reflexes but strength is still measured to be below 44's." Machi covered her mouth and spoke through a yawn. It was late and she was extremely tired.

Uvogin stifled his own yawn as he typed up her oral notes on his pad. "Any changes with his self-repairing?"

Machi shook her head. "No. Healing speed is the same. No improvements."

Uvogin sighed. "The boss won't be happy about that."

"I know, Uvo." Machi's voice was strained under stress and sleepiness. "Feitan fixed the machine and it's working perfectly." 'The machine' being the only thing strong enough they have at the moment to property brutalize their weapons. Illumi and Hisoka both endured six broken fingers and massive volts of electricity. Hisoka self-repaired under a couple of hours but it took Illumi a little longer than his companion. "We'll just have to try something more severe tomorrow."

"Longer works hours." Uvogin mumbled as he finished up the analysis. "Sounds fun." It absolutely did not sound fun. Lately, they have been doing a lot of extra work on weapons 43 and 44. Their usual training had been kicked up by twice as much as what it used to be and honestly it was taking its toll on the scientists who were running on an average of 4 hours of sleep. They were exhausted.

Sitting quietly in the cell directly beside Illumi's was Hisoka. He was coyly shuffling his cards that he had gotten earlier that month as a reward for a very complicated assassination. His eyes darted from the two scientists then to Illumi, who was resting with his back against the wall and his eyes closed.

' _ **You did really well today, princess.'**_ Hisoka's thoughts were echoed as they filled the insides of Illumi's mind like smoke in a room. He kept his expression unreadable as if he was not speaking nonverbally to his companion.

Illumi's face was plain and read no emotion other than fatigue. **'** _ **You think that every time I train. I'm inclined to believe that this is just a ploy to win my flattered gratitude.'**_

Hisoka turned his head to hide his smile. _**'You're so suspicious of me, Illu. I'm hurt.'**_

The dark haired man shifted his body a little to accommodate his sore muscles. _**'Only with you, Hiso.'**_ He mentally hissed out the word 'Hiso' as if it were an insult. Why after all these years had Hisoka still taken to calling him by that infuriating nickname? And to his annoyance, he had kind of gotten used to it. Liked it even.

' _ **I'm flattered.'**_ Hisoka responded. _**'I didn't know I was so special.'**_

' _ **A special pain in my ass.'**_

Hisoka carefully watched as Machi and Uvogin wrapped up their analysts and began to walk down the hall. He didn't move until they shut the large metal security door behind them and he heard their footsteps depart. _**'They're gone, pet.'**_ And as soon as he thought this, Illumi stretched his arms over his head and groaned. His muscles ached under the strain and he allowed himself to collapse onto the ground. His dark hair spilled over the hard cement floor in dark waves.

Hisoka put his cards down and slowly crawled towards his childhood companion.

' _ **I'm not strong enough yet.'**_ Illumi's inner thoughts sounded angry. He was upset at himself for being so tired. Another sigh left his body as he rolled over on his back and stared up at the black ceiling. His eyes focused on all the worn markings up there from his past attempts of escaping.

Hisoka almost scoffed. _**'We have spent our lives watching people die from just attempting to do the things you do.'**_ He stuck his hands through the bars and touched the ends of the brunette's long black hair. _**'So relax. Self-pity doesn't suit you, Illu.'**_

' _ **Self-pity. Is that what this is?'**_

Hisoka smiled and rolled his eyes as his fingers twirled in Illumi's long silky hair. _**'Oh right. The emotionless weapon 43 doesn't feel anything at all, right? Are these new feelings scaring you, love?'**_

' _ **Hush your mouth before I break your teeth in.'**_ Illumi lightly threatened. _**'Don't mock me.'**_

' _ **Is that what I'm doing?'**_ Hisoka thought coyly. _**'I'm sure I'm just teasing you.'**_

' _ **There is no difference.'**_

' _ **I disagree.'**_

Illumi scowled. _**'Of course you do.'**_

Hisoka's thoughts fell silent as he quietly continued to gently brush his fingers through Illumi's hair.

If Illumi wasn't feeling so weak he would have pulled away. He felt so frustrated today. It seemed that certain things were catching up to him. He was beginning to feel like a caged tiger that was slowly losing its mind. He feared that he was going crazy, which was a very valid fear since a common side effect of the medicine they took was insanity. More than half of the weapons that were tested on lost their minds until eventually, they were unable to function.

Insanity wasn't the only side effect of the proteins they were forced to take. Death was the second leading effect that many experiments endured. Death and insanity. Illumi did not fear death, but he did fear that he would one day lose his grasp on reality.

' _ **You won't.'**_ Hisoka softly interrupted. He could hear Illumi's worried thought and fears bouncing around in his mind almost as clear as if they were his own. _**'If you were going to lose your mind you would have done it already.'**_ How many times had they seen other weapons forget who they once were after only the first dose of the mutated protein? How many times have they watched brothers, sisters, mother, and fathers, all fade away and lose sight of the ones they loved? How much death and heartbreak have they witnessed in their long and miserable lives?

' _ **I didn't give you permission to read those thoughts.'**_ Illumi thought bitterly, though he did feel a bit relieved by Hisoka's words despite the fact that they were unwarranted.

' _ **You worry too much.'**_ Hisoka thought, ignoring Illumi's annoyance with him invading his privacy. Though in his defense, it was very difficult for him not to invade Illumi's thoughts. They could often feel what the other was feeling and read what the other was thinking without even trying. They knew exactly what each other wanted to do or say without the need of verbally communicating. It was another side effect of the mutation they ingested. Those who had the protein in their bloodstream were all connected on a level deeper than those who didn't.

Illumi's arm stretched out and felt around the ground for Hisoka's exploring fingers. Suddenly, he found what he was looking for and their fingers intertwined. They both instantly relaxed from their contact and closed their eyes in tranquility.

' _ **I supposed you're right… I'm just tired.'**_ Illumi admitted. He was being a bit crabbier than usual today and he was taking it out on Hisoka.

' _ **You should come closer and allow me to rub your stresses away.'**_ Hisoka lovingly cooed. _**'I'm very talented with my hands.'**_ As he thought this, he gave Illumi's hand a little squeeze.

If Illumi's eyes weren't already closed, he would have rolled them. _**'How tempting.'**_ He thought flatly. _**'But I'll pass.'**_ Though a shoulder rub did sound really good right now. However, Illumi could feel Hisoka's own exhaustion from their training flooding out his aura. He wouldn't ask the equally tired and sore man to rub his shoulders when he knew they both deserved rest.

' _ **How sweet.'**_ Hisoka teased, reading the brunette's inner feelings without permission again. _**'You're worried about me.'**_

' _ **Of course you'd invade my private thoughts after I expressed my dislike for that.'**_ Illumi lightly scolded.

' _ **But of course.'**_ Hisoka mirrored. _**'It's hard not to when they're practically screaming at me. I can't help it.'**_

A small smile snuck itself over the tired brunette's lips. _**'I highly doubt that…lying fool.'**_

' _ **Delicate Flower.'**_

' _ **Do I seem delicate to you?'**_

Hisoka silently chuckled. _**'No, of course not, my flower. You seem very… resilient.'**_ A new perverse aura floated around the dirty minded redhead and it only got stronger when he sensed the annoyance wafting off of his companion.

' _ **You're exasperating.'**_

Hisoka affectionately rubbed his thumb over the back of Illumi's hand. _**'I know.'**_

And they both allowed their thoughts to rest while they quietly listened to each other's soft breathing and fell asleep.

^.~

Hisoka's chest heaved up and down as he fell to his hands and knees.

' _ **You're being overdramatic.'**_ Illumi's mused echoed voice rumbled Hisoka's head.

Hisoka sat back on his bottom and used one of his hands to push his sweat covered red hair off his forehead. _**'762.'**_ Hisoka smugly thought back. _**'If my math is correct, and it usually is, flower, then that's 48 more than you.'**_

Illumi rolled his eyes and sat next to his redheaded companion. They were outside resting quietly under the stars and gazing at the big laughing moon. It was lovely. It wasn't very often they were allowed outside and the tall 40-foot electric fence and armed security equipped with highly dangerous weapons to stop them should they try to escape didn't even damper their good moods. They were together. And the times when they were together had become beyond comforting.

' _ **You may be capable of doing more pushups, but I am still faster than you.'**_ Illumi wanted to rest his head on Hisoka's shoulder as he had done many times before, but the rules forbid the two from touching outside of their training.

' _ **I don't doubt that you believe that.'**_ Hisoka smiled but turned his head a little so his smile wouldn't be seen by the people that were observing them. _**'But sadly you are mistaken. I'm far more superior than you in every way.'**_ As he thought that, Hisoka could feel the anger fanning off his friend and it took all he had not to laugh.

Illumi's dark eyes were steady as he looked into Hisoka's own golden ones. His bloodlust practically exploded off of him and his muscles tightened with rage. _**'If you want a demonstration, I will kill you where you sit.'**_

The vision of Illumi pinning him down and pressing his powerful hands around Hisoka's throat sent electrified chills down the redhead's spine. He closed his eyes and exhaled a shuddered aroused breath. He very much enjoyed when Illumi was angry with him. _**'Oh Illumi~ you're really turning me on.'**_

For a moment, the dark haired man only stared at the grinning redhead like he was trying to think of how to respond. Then he turned away and his bloodlust died down. Of course, Hisoka was purposely upsetting him. He was quite childish when he wanted to be despite being caged like an animal for most of his life. _**'You're very tiresome sometimes. I hope you know that.'**_

If they weren't being watched, Hisoka would have kissed Illumi's cheek. _**'I know, flower. I care about you too.'**_

^.~

Kurapika slowly closed his office door behind him and locked it. He deeply exhaled as he rested his forehead over the cool wood and closed his eyes. The big messy bun that his hair was in was beginning to falter and look even sloppier than normal due to his long day but he was not in the mood to fix it.

He was stressed and his mind always wavered when he was stressed. It was bitterly ironic that the psychoanalyst spent his entire life taking care of everyone else's wellbeing that he never even considered taking care of his own.

As the doctor stood up straight and retied his bun to look more presentable, images of Hisoka filled his mind. He saw the once smiling face of the mischievous redhead grinning down at him, he saw the dangerous force of a man crush the skull of his enemy with only his fist, and he saw the bloodied broken form of Hisoka collapsed on the ground in his cell. He had seen more sides to that man in mere months than most people see of each other in their entire lives.

"You look nice."

The unexpected voice almost made the young doctor jump out his skin. He slapped his hand to his fast paced heartbeat and turned around to face the person who frightened him. "Leorio." He breathed out.

Leo smiled, his hands were shoved in his pockets. "Hey." He stood up straight. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Kurapika's heart was trying to calm itself down and he mirrored the smile. "I wasn't afraid. I'm fine."

_'What are you afraid of?' Hisoka's voice was a low whisper._

_'I'm not afraid of anything.'_

_'Liar.'_

Kurapika shook his head trying to force out the memory of Hisoka's prodding voice. Now was really not the time for him to be wrapped up in Hisoka things. That troublesome yet solicitous redhead had taken up more than enough of Kurapika's thoughts. It wouldn't be fair to Leorio if their first reunion together was spent with him thinking only of Hisoka. "You…" Kurapika looked down at his clothes then back at Leorio. "Said that I looked nice?"

A blush covered the taller man's cheeks and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Well… yeah."

"Leorio." The little blonde spoke through a small chuckle. "I'm wearing the same thing you saw me in this afternoon." Which was just his normal, not too special, work clothes.

Kurapika had no idea how much his words embarrassed the nervous man. Leorio's blush deepened. "Yes well… you looked good this morning too."

The anxiety floated off the brunette in waves and Kurapika kind of felt bad for the poor nervous man. "Don't be so nervous, okay? We're just hanging out as friends. No pressure."

"I'm not nervous." He tried to lie, though he was failing miserably.

Kurapika lightly nudged his friend with his shoulder as they headed out the hospital. "You can't hide anything from me Leorio. I read people for a living."

"Oh right. The great Kurapika Kurta is never wrong." Leorio chuckled as he lightly nudged back.

"Correct!" The blonde winked.

On the drive to the restaurant the two were quiet. But that was okay. Kurapika loved the quiet. His mind was the sharpest when there were no distractions. Small talk bored him and people who felt the need to promote small talk disinterested him. He felt kind of cruel thinking that way since he didn't usually have such mean-spirited thoughts. Perhaps it was one of the many traits he picked up from Hisoka.

Kurapika's eyes darted from the window then to the brunette driving the car. He should say something. Was he being rude by not saying something? He wasn't sure, he'd never done anything like this before. Maybe he should ask about the weather. Wait, no. Weather is considered small talk. Though anything he were to say in this moment would be considered small talk. Damn his handicap in social skills.

Kurapika slowly exhaled. Okay, okay. He could do this. He didn't want Leorio to think that he didn't know how to have a casual conversation like any other normal human being. Though… now that he thought about it… had he ever talked to Leorio about things outside of work? Did he even know anything about Leorio's interests?

He furrowed his brow, trying to recall some personal information about his friend. He remembered once Leorio mentioned something about having a dog as a child. Perhaps Kurapika could use that as a conversation piece.

"So…" Kurapika started. He was fiddling with his seatbelt as he spoke. "about your dog…" Ahh yes… how clever and articulate that sentence was. Kurapika inwardly rolled his eyes at himself.

"What dog?" Leorio tilted his head in confusion.

"The one you used to have when you were younger." Kurapika reiterated. "Whatever happened to it?"

Leorio looked a bit confused for a moment. He wondered why Kurapika was thinking about that subject right now of all times. "It got rabies and attacked me." He said flatly. "Then chased me across the street and got hit by a car. I told you the entire story last month. Did you forget?"

Shit! Kurapika sunk deeper into his seat and hoped that it would swallow him up. _That's_ where he heard Leorio had a dog. Damn it, he should have paid better attention. Leorio probably thinks he's such an asshole. What could he possibly say now that wouldn't fuck things up even more? "Oh…" He mumbled. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Leorio looked over at Kurapika incredulously for a few moments before a small smile cracked over his lips. "Now who's nervous?"

"Shut up." The little blonde mumbled as he sunk deeper into his spot. Though he couldn't suppress his own smile that followed after his friend's.

When they got to the restaurant, it didn't take long for them to be seated. It was a nice little place that was filled with hushed whispering and the soft clinking of glasses. Not really a place Kurapika would have picked, to be honest. He grew up eating very little and what he did eat certainly wasn't fine dining. As an adult, he kind of stayed in the habit of eating inexpensive easy to make food. Being in such a fancy restaurant made him feel a bit self-conscious and out of place.

"What looks good to you?" Leorio asked, his voice shattered Kurapika's thoughts like glass.

"Um…" Nothing. "It's hard to choose." He said instead.

Leorio nodded. "I feel the same way. I come here often and I always want to try everything at once." He leaned forward to look at the page of the menu Kurapika was on. "Try the salmon. It's very good." As he said that, the waitress came forward and smiled.

Kurapika was suddenly filled with thoughts of Hisoka. Tonight the patients were fed either pasta or chicken. He could feel, even from this distance, his redheaded patient's choice. Hisoka chose chicken. The doctor knew this because he could almost taste Hisoka's craving of meat on his own tongue as if he were biting into the hospital food himself.

Why even with this much separation, could Kurapika feel their connection? It seemed that the more time they spent together, the more coupled their minds would become. "I'm kind of in the mood for chicken." He finally said.

"Good choice." Leorio nodded. "They make great chicken. I'll get the steak."

The waitress nodded and took their menus, leaving the two with nothing on their tables but their drinks.

"So how have things been with your patients?" Leorio intertwined his fingers and leaned forward to hear his friend better.

Before sipping his water, Kurapika shook his head. "No work talk." He said as he set his glass down. "Tonight is about friendship."

Leorio smiled. "To friendship then." He held up his glass in a toast.

"To friendship." Their glasses lightly clinked together and they both took a drink.

"Alright, so no work talk." Leorio nodded. "I've been meaning to ask you something anyway."

"Ask away." Kurapika smiled.

"When are you getting a replacement cellphone?" Leorio looked up to the waitress who was filling their drinks. "And another car for that matter."

Kurapika softly laughed. "I haven't really thought about it." He said honestly. "I've been doing fine without those things and it's not like I have the time to go cellphone and car shopping." Though a car would help when he was working long hours in the office.

"It's been a while. You might want to look into it." Leorio smiled. "What if I have a nightmare and need to call a psychoanalyst?" He joked.

Kurapika's smile tightened a little and he drank a bit of his water to mask his tension.

_It was only 3 in the morning, but the doctor had woken up to the sound of moaning and rousing. It was obvious to him that the mute was having a nightmare._

' _Hisoka!'_

_The sound of his own name only seemed to further upset the sleeping man as he suddenly began thrashing about more violently._

_The reaction greatly surprised Kurapika, and at the same time, it saddened him. The doctor slowly sat up in bed, then carefully slid down on the floor next to the troubled mute._

' _Once upon a time…'_

Kurapika shrugged and tried to be more engaged in the conversation. "I doubt I could help you with that. Nightmares aren't my expertise." He attempted to make a joke to lighten his spirits. He missed Hisoka but he didn't want to think about that right now. "I could help you if you're feeling a little bit murderous, though."

Leo laughed. "With the way I've been overworked, I might have to take you up on that."

"Overworked?" Since when was Leorio overworked? The lanky doctor was usually so good about handling all his patients in a way that was organized and structured.

Leorio nodded. "Yeah. I'm still catching up with a lot of things. I gave most my clients to Dr. Beans so I could work more with Hisoka. He needed more attention than the others since he had no family or outside emotional support. Now that he's not my patient anymore I have to catch up on everything I missed."

Kurapika was a little surprised to hear how much effort Leorio put into Hisoka. He had never even thought about all the things Leo did to help with the redhead's recovery. "You really cared about him."

"Of course." He spoke in a tone that was truthful and pure. "How can I not? He was annoying and could be really childish sometimes but, you know." He shrugged. "He's my friend."

Kurapika looked down at his plate and sighed. So much for taking his mind off Hisoka. "He was mine too."

Leorio raised a brow. " _Was?_ "

"Well, yeah." Kurapika felt a slight blush raise over his cheeks and cursed himself for blushing so shamefully. He was better than that. He was a highly intelligent doctor for shit's sake. "He's my patient now. We can't be friends." Though he knew that ship had sailed a long time ago.

"Do you really believe that?" Leorio asked as the waitress came by to set their food on the table.

Kurapika opened his mouth to say 'yes' when suddenly Hisoka's nonchalant voice rumbled in his mind like a thunder.

' _ **Kurapika. Don't lie.'**_

Kurapika snapped his head around expecting to see Hisoka behind him. His first thought was how Hisoka got out of the institution. He was positive that Hisoka had gotten out because he heard his voice as clear as he heard Leorio's. More so even. It filled him from the inside and echoed lovingly in his mind. "Did you hear that?" He asked.

Leorio had a mouth full of food when Kurapika spoke to him. "Huh?" He spoke around his chewed up steak. "Hear what?"

His heart was pounding in his chest. "N-nothing." He mumbled. Was this a side effect of his PTSD? No, that couldn't be it. He never had delusions of Hisoka during his psychological breakdowns before. Maybe he was missing Hisoka more than he thought.

The little doctor felt an amused warmth coming from Hisoka and then the echoed voice filled his mind once more. _**'You miss me? How cute.'**_

Kurapika's hand slammed down on the table and he whipped around to look behind him again.

The dark haired doctor gulped down his water and then offered an understanding smile. "It's okay, Pika." He said, misinterpreting his friend's tension. "If it's too hard to talk about Hisoka then we don't have to."

Kurapika slowly nodded and began to eat his food. He watched Leorio out the corner of his eye then looked down to his plate. A deep exhale slowly exited his body and he briefly closed his eyes. He was definitely going crazy. He was certain of it now. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it was a wonder how Leorio couldn't hear it. His throat felt dry and his hands were suddenly very cold.

He wanted to try something.

' _ **H…Hisoka?'**_ His inner voice was timid but it sounded as clear and echoed as Hisoka's. It was like they were speaking on their own personal wavelength made just for them.

And after a few seconds of hearing nothing, Kurapika was convinced that the earlier voices he heard were mere delusions. But then…

' _ **Yes, my love?'**_


	14. Staying Together

 

Kurapika's head was down and resting on his crossed arms that were folded over the top of his desk. The sound of little voices around him blended in together becoming distorted and unrecognizable. His hair was a tangled mess around his head and it covered his face, shielding him from the world.

"Kurapika." His teacher called his name but he didn't move.

"Kurapika." She said a little louder.

"Just leave him alone." Came a classmate's response. "He might bite you."

Kurapika's arms dragged over the desk as he slowly slid into an upright position. His eyes were void of all innocence. "Yes."

"You know how I feel about sleeping in class." Miss Amane lightly tapped the chalk she was holding over the blackboard. "If you don't pay attention then you won't learn anything."

Kurapika leaned back in his seat and stared at the ceiling. The hours always seemed to go by so slowly when he was awake and life was only bearable while he was unconscious. He just wanted to sleep. He'd give anything to sleep his entire existence away.

"Kurapika, it's not fair to everyone else if they have to pay attention and you don't." Miss Amane continued. "You are not better than anyone in this class. If they have to do the work, so do you." This was the first time Miss Amane had a foster student in her class and it was quite frustrating for her. He never paid attention and his careless actions always made the teacher aggravated and angry.

Kurapika softly sighed.

Amane shook her head in disappointment. "You're only nine years old. You're not looking at the big picture. If you don't pay attention you'll be at a disadvantage for the rest of your life." She turned her back and began writing math problems on the board. "We're learning a lot this week and your grades reflect that you're behind."

She almost growled in frustration when Kurapika refused to acknowledge her. "I've had students who were particularly slow but they've always tried their best." She said as she continued writing. "What makes you dimmer than them is that you don't even have the sense of mind to pay attention."

Kurapika quietly watched as Amane started to fill the board with numbers. His mind was blank as his eyes followed her movements. He just wanted to sleep. Was that really too much to ask for?

Miss Amana put her hands on her hips and faced the class. "I won't slow the classroom's progress because of the inhibition of one student. And I certainly won't give you easier work because of your lack of intelligence." She scolded.

A few of the students snickered to themselves and began whispering about the quiet little blonde who never answered a single question. Surely it must be because he was ashamed of how dimwitted he was.

Amane sat down behind her desk and picked up her grade book. Without looking up she spoke to the class. "The equations I've put on the board are extra credit. Answer them correctly and I'll add 10% on your lowest test score. I suggest that you, Kurapika, take full advantage of this. Your test scores are the lowest I've seen in a long time and you really could use the extra credit." Mainly because he never filled out his tests. Whenever she gave him any work to do he would turn it in completely blank.

Kurapika glanced at the board once more but still did not move. His desk was completely empty of all things and he didn't even have a single sheet of paper out. What was the point? He cared very little about his grades and had no desire to become anyone successful in life. He was and always will be destined to be no one.

And still, his mind worked without his permission, such as it always had. There was never a problem that he left unsolved and never a question he left unanswered. His brain was like a computer and it soaked in every piece of information greedily, feeding itself with bottomless knowledge and proficiency.

20 + ((8+4) * 4) =

(4.2 (7.8 / 6.5)) – 9.9=

(.78 (.67 * 34.7)) + (-1.35) =

The questions were simple for him to figure out and yet his mind refused to ignore them. The wheels in his head turned and as he heard the scribbling of pens and pencils down on notebook paper. As much as he wanted to pay no attention to what was in front of him, his brain would not allow it and he solved the answers in his head against his own rebellion.

Order of operations. Kurapika recognized it for what it was from a mathematics book he used to read in the scholarly section of the library. It was one of his favorite types of equations. He remembered rushing home to explain the order of operations to his mother and even writing a few questions on the wall for her to solve. He hoped that she would understand what he was saying but in the end, she just held him and told him that his magic numbers were very pretty.

Kurapika bit his bottom lip and weakly tried to push those memories away. Instead, he focused on less distressing subjects. Math.

First, perform any calculations inside parentheses.

Next, perform all multiplications and divisions, working from left to right.

Lastly, perform all additions and subtractions, working from left to right.

The answers were,

68

-4.86

16.78422

"Alright, class. Does anyone have their answers?"

As expected, the class responded with silence. The problems she placed on the board were far above their knowledge. They had not touched on decimals at all this year nor have they introduced negative numbers or the order of operations. The reason she put such complicated equations on the board was to prove a point.

"It's alright." Amane began. "As you grow up you'll come across a lot of problems you don't know. Now had I have put these on the board for older students they would have been able to answer them fairly easily. But you all are still children and it's important for you to pay attention so that you may get this far in your studies." As she said this, her gaze moved to Kurapika. "Without the guidance of those older than you, you can expect to be nothing in life."

Nothing. The word sat very nicely with Kurapika. Being nothing was what he strived for. When you're nothing, there are no expectations for good will, no hopes to get disappointed, to hearts to get broken, and no soul to be shattered. When you were nothing, there was nothing to live for and nothing to die for. He deeply exhaled closed his eyes. Yes. He very much wanted to be nothing.

"Kurapika Kurta!" Miss Amane slapped her hand on her desk to get his attention. It was shocking to her that even after all the scolding she'd giving him, that he'd still choose to sleep in class. "Since you seem to think that you're above paying attention to your teacher, why don't you come to the front and solve these problems?"

Kurapika turned his head away from her yelling voice and looked out the window. Instead, his mind was filled with his mother's soft encouraging voice. It wrapped around him like a warm blanket and it stung his heart so fiercely that he almost choked.

' _Books are good for you.' Suzuka mumbled. 'Books are good for you… like carrots.' She paused. 'Have you finished your carrots?'_

He put his head back down on the desk.

Amane was baffled by the outright disrespect! How dare he go to sleep when she asked him to do something! Who did he think he was? Was he never taught about respect?

She marched over to him and roughly grabbed him by his ear, yanking his head off the desk. "Come here." She growled while she pulled him out his chair and dragged him to the front of the class.

Kurapika's little feet shuffled from the sudden treatment and he almost stumbled behind the angry teacher. He grabbed hold of the blackboard to keep from falling on his face.

"Look!" Amane forcefully put chalk in Kurapika's hand and guided it to the board. She made him solve the equations as she wrote, squeezing his fingers so tightly that they turned white.

Her answers came out to,

68

-4.86

19.48422

When she let go of his hand, Kurapika dropped the chalk to the ground and held his injured fingers in his other palm.

"I'm trying to teach you." She yanked his head up and forced him to look at the board. "I'm trying to teach you and you refuse to listen."

Kurapika still cradled his fingers and responded with silence.

"You'll never get it." Miss Amane scowled as she shoved him away from her by his head. "I should have expected it. Your shameful family has been an embarrassment to this city for years."

' _Kurapika~' Suzuka, lovingly wrapped her arms around his frail shoulders and pulled him away from what he was doing._

Kurapika quietly picked up the chalk off the ground and held it loosely at his side. He reached up and used his free hand to wipe away one of the answers on the board. The 19.48422 that she had forced him to write smeared under his palm until it was nothing but an ugly blur.

Amane opened her mouth to scold him some more but was stopped by Kurapika's soft, unexpected voice.

"You added the -1.35 as a positive." He said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. "But you should have added it as a negative." He started to write the correct answer on the board and he heard his mother's voice once more.

' _What did mommy say about drawing on the walls?' Her voice held no true anger, it was playful and carefree._

"The answer is 16.78422." He carefully put the chalk down and turned to face his teacher. "You were wrong."

Suddenly he was met with a swift slap to the face.

"You little cheater." She hissed through clenched teeth. "I was watching you earlier. You didn't work out the problems. You must have used a calculator!"

Kurapika brought his hand to his stinging cheek and shook his head.

"Don't lie to me!" She slapped him across his face again, angry and embarrassed. "Go sit down!"

^.~

Kurapika sat down in front of Hisoka. He was lightly tapping his fingers against his clipboard and his face was twisted in a small thoughtful frown. He was trying to figure out how to go about this. He couldn't very well just ask Hisoka if they were truly talking telepathically since he didn't want to appear crazy. He supposed he could wait for Hisoka to bring it up first? Heaven knows that man did not care if any of his actions made him look insane...

"You seem stressed, love." Hisoka said from his place on the ground.

A small smile tugged at the doctor's lips. Hisoka's velvet voice was just the cool gentle breeze that Kurapika needed to wrap around his fast paced heart. "How was your morning?" He easily transitioned the subject off of himself and onto his patient.

Hisoka questionably raised a brow. This certainly wasn't what he thought Kurapika would want to talk about. He silently leaned forward and rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

"What?" Kurapika asked. He was suddenly filled with concern. "Are you okay? Did something happen while I was away?"

Hisoka still said nothing.

"Why aren't you talking?" Kurapika asked.

' _ **I just didn't expect you to come in here and completely ignore last night.'**_

Kurapika almost dropped his clipboard when he felt Hisoka rifling through his mind. The redhead's voice was just as clear and precise as it was during his date with Leorio. "Hisoka." He was unsure if what he was hearing was actually Hisoka or if he was simply having more delusions. "Did you just…"

Hisoka sat up and leaned back on his hands. "It's not a delusion." It was really quite sad hearing Kurapika's frantic worried thoughts. Has Kurapika really been struggling with determining what was real and what wasn't?

' _ **It's not a delusion...'**_ The little blonde's inner voice repeated Hisoka's words, reassuring himself that he was okay.

' _ **No.'**_ Hisoka thought back. Then he said out loud. "It's not in your head so please relax. I can feel your anxiety and it's making me very uneasy."

"I'm relaxed." He lied. But as he said that his anxiety rolled off of him in heavy waves. "I'm completely calm."

"Kurapika…"

"I'm fine." The little blonde shook his head. "I'm fine." But he was most certainly not fine. He felt very dizzy and lightheaded all while feeling as though the air was being stolen out of his lungs. His chest burned with genuine distress. He tried to take a slow shaky breath to push away his incoming panic attack that he felt creeping up on him from the pit of his stomach.

Hisoka deeply exhaled and closed his sunbeam eyes. A cozy mental melody danced around in his mind and lightly bounced over to Kurapika. The nameless song invited itself into the mind of the troubled doctor and draped over his worries in a sheet of solace and love.

Kurapika's insides warmed up and a soft pink glow affectingly enveloped over his heart. His panic gradually faded away and his stresses disappeared into the abyss. It almost felt like Hisoka's essence had reached inside of him and placed little sweet kisses all over his twisted fears.

The doctor shuddered as the last of his negative energy left his body and breathed out in sweet bliss. He had never felt so at peace before, so purified of self-hate and corruption.

"Hisoka…" I love you. "Thank you." He whispered instead.

Hisoka smiled his coy Hisoka-smile. "Anything for you, love."

The young doctor rolled his eyes but did it with no malice. "How…" He dragged out his voice a little as he tried to think. "Did this happen?"

And the redhead barely shrugged. "I don't know." Though he felt a very familiar sensation wash over him whenever he spoke to Kurapika through the wavelength in their minds. It was kind of like he had done this type of thing before.

"You've done this before?" Kurapika suddenly asked. He surprised himself by picking up on a few of the redhead's stray thoughts. He leaned forward in interest, eyes wide and smile bright. He really liked being able to catch a few words of Hisoka's inner thoughts. This would really come in handy for their future sessions.

"This certainly will not come in handy." Hisoka retorted. "Because if you start rifling through my mind then I'll start rifling through yours." Which was an empty threat. He had already peeked through a lot of Kurapika's mental files the moment the doctor stepped in the room. The information and memories he saw of the sweet blonde genius broke the amnesiac's heart.

"Hisoka." Kurapika ignored Hisoka's threat. "You've done this before?"

The redhead rolled his eyes to the ceiling in contemplation. He didn't remember. He felt like the answer was on the tip of his tongue and yet he still could not recall any memories before the night he woke up in Kurapika's living room. However, Hisoka could definitely tell that he was no stranger to this new way of communication. He was better at reading Kurapika's mind than the blonde was at reading Hisoka's. Because of this, he felt like he had a mental advantage. Whereas Kurapika's inner worries and reflections jumped out at Hisoka, Hisoka's own contemplations were tucked away so that the blonde could only access the parts of his mind that Hisoka wanted him to.

And speaking of that… "How was your date?" Hisoka suddenly asked.

Kurapika instantly scowled. "Don't change the subject." He paused for only a moment before then asking, "How did you even know about that anyway?"

Hisoka's chains rattled as he lifted his hands and lightly tapped his temple as if to state the obvious.

And this earned yet another scowl of annoyance from the doctor. "Stay out of my head." He warned. "I never said you could go through my memories."

For some reason, Kurapika telling Hisoka to stay out of his head sounded very familiar. Someone else used to say that to him.

A vision of long black hair and eyes as deep and dark as the ocean flashed in Hisoka's mind and the redhead inhaled a sharp breath.

Who was that?

"You never answered my question." Kurapika lightly tapped on the glass to get Hisoka's attention again.

"Hm?" Hisoka was a bit unfocused as he tried to bring back that person he had almost remembered.

"Hisoka?" Kurapika titled his head to the side. "Are you okay?"

Hisoka quickly shook away his thoughts and flashed Kurapika a sweet smile. "Of course, my love. What was your question?"

"What?"

"Your question." Hisoka was still smiling. "The one I never answered."

"Oh right…" Kurapika mumbled as he eyed his companion suspiciously. He knew Hisoka was hiding something from him. "Hisoka are you sure you're alright?"

"Let's play a game." Hisoka quickly changed the subject off of himself much like Kurapika had done earlier.

"I don't like games."

"The rules are," The redhead ignored Kurapika's protest and Kurapika groaned. "I get to ask you a question about your date, and you get to ask me a question about whatever boring thing is on your doctor mind."

Kurapika crossed his arms. "And what if I just ask you questions without answering yours."

"Then I'll do the same." He said. "And neither one of us will get anywhere."

The little blonde sighed, already disliking this game. "Fine. But I'll go first."

"Naturally."

"How much of my mind can you read?"

Hisoka didn't really want to answer this question because he felt as though Kurapika would be upset with the lack of privacy. However, a deal was a deal. Plus, he was never very good at lying to Kurapika anyway. If he was then he'd do it a lot more often. "More than you'd be comfortable with."

"Such as?"

"Such as your childhood, your fears, your…" Post-Traumatic Stress. "secrets."

Kurapika bit his bottom lip. "Why ca-"

"Ah, ah, ah." Hisoka gently interrupted. "My turn."

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "Go ahead." He mumbled.

"How was your date?"

Ugh. Kurapika rolled his eyes to the ceiling and didn't even try to conceal his annoyance. "It wasn't a date."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Kurapika groaned. Hisoka was so frustrating. "It was okay." A little bit boring but it was still nice seeing Leorio.

Hisoka wanted to ask what made the date so boring but he'd have sadly wait until his next turn. He wouldn't dare break his own rules. Well under normal circumstances he would but he felt like he wouldn't get away with it with Kurapika. "Your turn." He said sweetly.

"Good." So far Kurapika did not like this game very much. "Why can't I read you that well?" He tried rifling through Hisoka memories but the only things he could pick up were the things Hisoka was thinking and feeling right now.

"I don't have any memories for you to look through."

Kurapika shook his head. "None before 5 months ago but you have plenty after that." The one Kurapika was most interested in was Hisoka's altercation with Franklin.

"You will be able to soon." Hisoka answered truthfully. "You're new to this. I'm pretty confident that I'm not."

If that was true and Hisoka had done this before then that would explain how the redhead was able to do it so naturally. However, it does not explain how Kurapika could talk back. He certainly had never done anything like this.

"Why did you consider the date boring?" Hisoka suddenly asked.

And Kurapika shrugged, not even thinking about the fact that Hisoka had pulled that information out of his head without permission. "Leorio is a really good friend but…" Maybe if Kurapika grew up under different circumstances he'd find things like dinner and idle conversation interesting, but he didn't. Because of that, making connections was not easy for him.

As much as he wished he could bond better with a soft gentle spirit like Leorio, he just couldn't. Kurapika's edges were jagged and should he get too close to Leorio, he would surely cut him. He needed to be around someone whose edges were just as hard and broken. Someone who could interlock with him without getting hurt. "We just don't have the same interests." The doctor finally finished.

Hisoka smiled, choosing not to say anything about Kurapika's wondering thoughts. "I see."

Kurapika pointed his pen forward in accusation. "Why are you so interested in me and Leorio anyway? Are you jealous?"

The question took Hisoka by surprise. Jealous? Oh, that certainly could be a possibly. "I don't know." He answered thoughtfully. It was an emotion he was unfamiliar with. "I don't think so."

"You don't think so?" Kurapika raised a brow.

"Well I suppose might have been jealous if I wasn't so sure that I was on your mind all night."

"What? You were not." Kurapika said a little louder than intended.

Hisoka chuckled. "Hmm… Are you sure about that, love?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Kurapika practically growled. "You were the last thing on my mind I assure you."

"Ahh…Okay." He shook his head in disbelief. "I believe you." He didn't believe him.

"No, you don't." Kurapika accused. "Good lord, you're so annoying."

"So I've been told." He grinned. "But that's no way to speak to your love." Hisoka lightly teased. "I believe you meant to say 'It's annoying how much I love you'" He made his voice a little higher to imitate Kurapika's.

Kurapika rolled his eyes. "I never said I loved you." He paused. "And I don't sound like that."

"You never said you didn't" The redhead pointed out. "And yes you do." As he said that he tried to adjust himself from his position on the ground to ease his dull pain.

Kurapika crossed his legs and tapped his pen over his clipboard. "How badly does it hurt?" He asked with concern. "I could prescribe some pain medicine for you."

Hisoka leaned his head back against the wall and waved off the sentiment. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." Kurapika said as he wrote down a little reminder for himself about prescribing something for his patient. "I'll prescribe pain pills."

At the mention of pills, Hisoka winced. "I'd rather not." He told the blonde. He was not very fond of the medicine he was currently taking. The last thing he wanted was to add more to his list.

"What medicine?" Kurapika's head shot up from his papers. That set-off alarm bells in the blonde's head. Hisoka wasn't supposed to be taking any medications. He certainly never prescribed any before and Franklin wasn't authorized to give Kurapika's patients anything without consulting him first. The only person who was able to go over his head was Chrollo. But that didn't make any sense. What purpose would Chrollo, someone who's never even personally evaluated Hisoka, have to give the redhead medications?

"I wouldn't know." The redhead's voice was dull and suddenly very uninterested. "I wasn't told the name."

"Okay." Kurapika's mind shifted into sharper focus as he clicked on the computer part of his analyzing brain. "What does it look like?" His adrenaline was pumping fiercely in his veins and he had the sudden urge to race to Chrollo's office. "Like it's color, shape, and size."

Hisoka sighed, deciding that he was 100% disinterested in the new change of topic. The matter seemed irrelevant to him. Perhaps had he had been confronted with this issue a few months ago he'd be a bit more alarmed. However, that was not the case anymore. He'd suffered too much to care what happened to him anymore. He was caged like an animal and every second he was trapped was just another second added to his time in total darkness. The only glimmer of light he had to call his own was when Kurapika came to visit him. And even that was beginning to not be enough to save his heavy heart. He was sure that he was going to die in this place. "Blue. Oval. Big."

Kurapika furrowed his brow as he tried to think. "How big?"

Hisoka slouched forward and leaned his chin on his hand. "Around 3 inches." As he said that he could see the alarm grow on the doctor's face. It was obvious that the little blonde was unfamiliar with whatever Hisoka was taking. "You're about to leave again." It wasn't a question, but more like a disappointed statement.

"Yes." Kurapika quickly stood to his feet. "But I'll be back later today."

"To return to the one you love." Hisoka blithely added.

Kurapika was already walking away. "Never said I loved you." He called over his shoulder.

And Hisoka's warm voice once again rumbled blissfully in the doctor's mind.

' _ **You never said you didn't.'**_

^.~

Kurapika was standing silently outside of Chrollo's door. His first instinct was to just bust through and demand answers. But then that quickly faded. He allowed himself to collect his thoughts before he went inside. He had to do this the right way if he ever hoped to get anything even close to the truth out of his boss.

Taking a deep breath, Kurapika pushed open the door and stepped inside.

"Dr. Kurta." Chrollo was typing on his laptop and he didn't even look up when he spoke. "I was wondering if you would ever come inside."

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek in irritation. His boss couldn't even give him the decency to look at him while he talked. How little did he think of Kurapika?

"I wasn't out there that long." The young doctor said as he sat down.

"37 seconds." Chrollo was typing and still had yet to look up. He seemed to be in a bad mood about something. Kurapika briefly wondered what could make the usually calm Dean suddenly so upset. "Is there something about your job performance you should be nervous about?"

Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek again. A habit he should learn to stop doing before he does some serious damage to his poor mouth. "Has there ever been anything about my job performance that I'd be nervous about?"

Chrollo looked like he was going to say something crude but instead he said, "Not as of yet."

"There is something I needed to talk to you about." Kurapika bit off, trying so hard to ignore the 'Not as of yet'.

"You've been working on Hisoka for a while now." Chrollo said, completely ignoring whatever Kurapika had just said to him.

For a while? Compared to what? Most of his other patients have been with him for the better part of a year. "I wouldn't say a while." He said flatly.

Chrollo closed his laptop. "A few weeks." He pointed out. "And for 2 of those weeks, you were apparently confident enough to take a leave of absence."

"In my entire career, I've never taken any vacation days. Is my one time break going to be an issue?" The blonde shot back.

"No." Chrollo answered. "But out of curiosity, has there been any progress with Hisoka since he's been in your care?" The question was innocent enough. But it was to prove a point. Chrollo knew that there was no progress.

Kurapika clenched his fists in his lap. "No."

Chrollo slowly twirled his pen in-between his fingers. "I see. No progress."

"It's only been a few weeks." Kurapika said. "I've had the King siblings for the better part of 5 months."

"Yes." Chrollo pointed his pen forward. "But with progress."

"Not within a few weeks. It takes a while for a high-risk patient to-"

Chrollo interrupted. "So what you're saying is that it's your professional opinion that making progress with Hisoka will take a lot of time?"

Kurapika inwardly scowled. "He is in the restricted zone. As with all my patients, working with him is a long process." Then he added, "You assigned him to me because I'm the best mental health doctor in the country. Is the _best_ still not good enough for you?"

Chrollo pressed his lips to his folded hands for a second before speaking again. "You're correct. You are the best in the country." His voice trailed, then he said, "Which is why I'm transferring Hisoka to a better-equipped hospital. One out the country."

"What?!" Kurapika yelled. "Out the country? Hisoka was found lying on the streets of _this_ city. That means he likely lived _here_ before his accident. You'll be moving him away from any family that he might possibly have!"

"He doesn't have any family."

Kurapika stood to his feet and slammed both his hands on Chrollo's desk. "You don't know that!"

And Chrollo stood across from the young doctor and leaned down so they were face to face. He spoke very softly. If he wasn't so close, Kurapika might not have heard him at all. "Dr. Kurta… it would be in your best interest not to speak to me like that again." Chrollo's eyes were steady and dangerous. "Hisoka will be transferred tomorrow. As his doctor, I suggest you spend less time questioning my decisions and more time mentally preparing your patient for his move."

His boss's sudden change did not deter the doctor. Kurapika spoke so icily that Chrollo almost shivered. "Why is Hisoka taking nonprescription medication."

"Excuse me?"

"Why is he taking medication that has not been prescribed by his doctor." Kurapika elaborated. He bit off every word with venom.

"Why would you think that he is?" Chrollo stood up straight and managed to look concerned. "Has another doctor told you this?"

"Hisoka told me."

"Oh, I see." Chrollo said. "Your high risk, mentally ill, murderous patient told you that he was taking nonprescription medications."

"Are you saying he's a liar?"

"I'm saying he's confused." Chrollo said. "He doesn't know what to believe or what's going on." The brunette put his hand over Kurapika's but the blonde quickly pulled away. "Is that why you're so upset? Because you believed I was doing something to your friend?"

"Well," Kurapika felt like a child being scolded by a parent for making up stories. "Yes." He said a bit more confidently. "Hisoka's been under a lot of mental stress but he's not delusional. I believe him."

Chrollo woefully shook his head and turned away. "This is why I have to transfer him." He said regretfully. "I believe in your skills, Doctor Kurta, I really do, but it seems that you've gotten too close to your patient. You're letting your emotions cloud your judgment."

"I'm no-"

"Please." Chrollo held up his hand to silence the blonde. "I understand this is hard to hear but this isn't up for debate. You just came in here and accused your boss of giving your patient nonprescription pills. That isn't like you."

It wasn't like him. Before Hisoka, when had he ever questioned Chrollo? When had he ever been so angry with the only man to give him a shot after he left his foster home? Perhaps Kurapika's judgment _was_ clouded. Or perhaps things were just finally becoming clear. "I don't trust you." He said softly.

And the answer surprised Chrollo. Not because he didn't expect it, but because he didn't expect it to be said out loud. "I know. But that doesn't matter to me. Please go and mentally prepare your patient. He leaves tomorrow night."

"Fine." The blonde pulled away.

Chrollo waited until Kurapika left before he sat back down. This visit from Dr. Kurta only confirmed Chrollo's plans. He couldn't keep waiting to remove Hisoka from this place. The longer he was here the bigger the risk would be.

Chrollo leaned back in his chair and picked up his phone to make a call.

It rang only once before it was answered.

"Yeah, Boss."

"Uvogin." Chrollo opened his laptop and reread weapon 44's files. "We're moving him tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yes." Chrollo was staring at a picture of Hisoka wearing his training clothes and standing against a plain white wall. "We don't have much time."

^.~

Kurapika leaned his head against the cool glass of Hisoka's confinement and carefully studied the redhead's face. Even covered in dried blood and dirt Hisoka's chiseled face still looked gorgeous. The doctor longed to see Hisoka free again. He longed for his companion to have the luxury of going wherever he pleased without having to be escorted or having to ask permission.

Hisoka quietly watched Kurapika as the blonde's chocolate eyes trailed over him.

"You're very beautiful." Hisoka said gently. The sentiment was spoken without any thought about all the troubles they going though. It was just a kind and honest gesture that Hisoka felt the need to voice.

"I'm really not that great." Kurapika mumbled as he looked away.

Hisoka offered a small smile. "Those who are, never think so."

The doctor rolled his eyes at that and then slowly moved to sit in his chair. "There's something I have to talk to you about."

"I'm getting transferred." Hisoka lightly interrupted. "Your worries are screaming at me, love. No need to say them aloud."

Kurapika leaned forward a bit and waved off his words. "Yes but that's not it."

Hisoka raised a questioning brow, an action that the doctor found very adorable. It only made Kurapika feel even more confident about his decision.

"I've decided that I'm taking you away from here." He said.

Hisoka did not look pleased. "What?"

"I'm taking you away." The blonde repeated. "You're not safe here."

"You're taking me away." Hisoka repeated. Kurapika couldn't take him away. It was much too dangerous. And it wasn't that Hisoka feared the dangers of whoever would come chasing after them. He cared very little for his own life and was confident that he'd be able to protect Kurapika from harm. But there was one person who Hisoka knew he couldn't stop from hurting the doctor. And that was himself.

"Yes, we're leaving tonight." Kurapika nodded. "I thought you'd be happy."

"I'm not."

"What? Why not?" Kurapika shook his head in disbelief. "You want to get out of here, I can feel it."

It was true. He did want to escape. He longed to be free and released from these chains. He had been locked inside of this hospital since he'd woken up from his trauma and he felt in his heart that even before this, he'd spent his life behind closed doors. Yes. What Hisoka wished for was his freedom. But what he wished for more was Kurapika's safety. "I'm not leaving with you, Kurapika."

The words felt like a slap in the face. They echoed melodiously in the doctor's mind and made his heart lurch in confused pain. It was an insult in the sense that he felt as if Hisoka was saying that he didn't trust Kurapika to keep him safe. It was hurtful in the sense that it seemed as though Hisoka was saying he'd rather die alone instead of living free with Kurapika. It was a stab in the heart. Kurapika bit the inside of his cheek.

Hisoka nodded towards Kurapika. "You shouldn't do that."

Kurapika rolled his eyes to the ceiling and scowled.

"You're mad."

"No shit."

"Don't be mad."

Kurapika shot Hisoka an icy glare. "I'm not letting you throw your life away just because you're being irrational."

"Irrational?"

"Yes, irrational. You're being irrational."

Hisoka feinted hurt, completely unfazed by the doctor's anger. "Now is that any way to talk to your love?"

"I never said I loved you." Kurapika reminded him.

"You never said you didn't."

"Hisoka!" Kurapika was frustrated. Why was Hisoka not taking this more seriously? Did he really want to be locked away for the rest of his life? "Chrollo is going to take you away. Do you get what that means? We'll never see each other again."

But Hisoka wasn't listening anymore. Something Kurapika said sent electric shocks down his spine. It made his senses go into overdrive as his memory was flooded with fear and twisted exhilaration.

Chrollo.

That was the first time since he'd lost his memory that he heard that name again. The word slammed into Hisoka's head and made him feel sick with dizziness.

_Chrollo roughly grabbed a handful of red hair and forced Hisoka to face him. "You're crying?" The teenage brunette lightly tapped the redhead's nose with the blood coated blade he was holding. "You're older than me." Chrollo innocently stated. "It's a little bit pathetic, don't you think?"_

Hisoka's vision blurred and he tried to blink away his fuzziness so he could focus again.

' _You're a killer, Hisoka. You'll always be a killer.'_

"Hisoka?" Kurapika shuddered as Hisoka's bloodlust radiated off of him and drifted menacingly around the room. "What's wrong?" The doctor tilted his head to the side and carefully studied his patient. Hisoka was tense and his eyes were dilated. Stress levels were elevated and his breathing was uneven. Kurapika tried to reach inside the redhead's mind to offer comfort but he was roughly shoved out by Hisoka's subconscious.

Hisoka put up a wall to keep Kurapika from entering his mind again. How could he forget? How could Kurapika possibly forget what Hisoka had almost done to him?

' _Let me…' Kurapika spoke in a broken whisper as he bent down in front of his damaged patient. 'Look at your injuries.'_

_Hisoka grabbed onto Kurapika's wrist and forced him to the ground. A low dangerous growl rumbled from the back of his throat and the thick aura of bloodlust exploded into the room with so much power that it knocked the breath out of Kurapika._

Kurapika stood up and walked over to the glass. He could almost see the dark poisonous aura leaking off of the redhead. He tried to reach inside Hisoka's mind once more, wincing in pain as Hisoka's subconscious fought to keep him out.

It was never supposed to be like this. He was never supposed to feel this way about his patient. He was never supposed to love him.

Kurapika reached up and typed in the code on the keypad's lock. This all felt so familiar.

_The door slowly opened as Kurapika gently pushed. His legs felt weak under him and he was unsure if he'd be able to stand much longer without collapsing. He never missed the hatred in the redhead's eyes as he stood silently in the doorway._

_Run. He should run. He was in danger. What was he trying to solve by coming in here?_

How long ago was that? It felt like that had happened so many years ago even though it had been less than 24 hours. He was so afraid then. So afraid of Hisoka and so afraid of his own unwanted emotions. But he couldn't be afraid anymore. Not of Hisoka and not of himself.

Thousands of whispers filled Hisoka's head. They overlapped each other and made it impossible for him to focus on just one. But it didn't matter. They all were saying the same thing anyway. _Chrollo._

The little blonde stepped closer to his redheaded friend and leaned down in front of him. He affectionately placed his hand on Hisoka's cheek and rubbed his thumb over his bruised lips. Kurapika said nothing as he stared in the sunbeam eyes of his dear amnesiac. _**'I'm not letting us get separated.'**_ He thought. _**'When people love each other they aren't supposed to leave.'**_ He'd already been abandoned by too many people in his life. He refused to abandon Hisoka.

Kurapika's sweet and comforting voice spoke above the whispers and forced the unwanted sounds to gradually die down. He felt his heartbeat slow and his body relax under his love's gentle words.

_When people love each other they aren't supposed to leave._

Hisoka was silent for a while, taking in the warm feeling of Kurapika's mind as it wrapped protectively around his own. "You never said you loved me." He whispered.

Kurapika's soft hand gently trailed down to the middle of Hisoka's chest as he rested his head against the redhead's cold, abused skin. "You're such an idiot, Hisoka." He whispered. "I never said I didn't."


	15. Doctor Kurta

 

The little blonde shook his head, pushing out all his worries and fears. He'd only cloud his judgment if he focused on what could go wrong. Kurapika looked up from what he was reading and towards the little clock on his desk. 11:39 p.m. Everyone should have gone home by now. Everyone except the security guards.

He closed his book and stood up to stretch. The guards wouldn't be too much of an issue. Kurapika knew that they switched shifts at 11:45 every night. From 11:45 to midnight, the restricted area was unguarded.

The blonde clicked off his little desk light and his office was washed over in complete darkness. As he opened his door and peeked out into the halls, he was not surprised to see that the hospital was also completely dark. The only light was the dim white moonlight that streamed in through the windows.

His soft breathing seemed to sound abnormally loud in this quiet and empty hall as he carefully moved through the darkness. His hand lightly traveled along the walls as he walked and he was almost nearing the stairs leading to the lower level when suddenly he heard hushed voices approaching.

The little blonde quickly ducked behind a nurse's cart and waited. The voices got louder and what they were saying became more disguisable.

"Yeah, I already dismissed him." Uvogin echoed in the empty halls. "Told him that I'd take his shift."

"Alright." Kurapika heard Chrollo respond. "Has Machi contacted you yet?"

"Yes." A pause, then, "She'll be here in 20 minutes. Should I go get 44?"

"No." Chrollo answered. "I'd like to be with you when you retrieve Hisoka."

Kurapika raised his eyebrows in silent shock.

"Meet me downstairs in 15 minutes." Chrollo ordered as he walked right past the cart Kurapika was hiding behind. "I have to make a phone call to Feitan. I need the lab results from our most current subjects."

"You mean those kids?" Uvogin walked past the cart next. "I heard they died."

"Too bad." The news wasn't surprising. Most of their test subjects died. "But I still need the results of their lab work."

"I guess I'll go check in with Machi." Uvogin started to walk off. "Sorry about the dead subjects, boss." He called over his shoulder. "I'll get you some new ones."

Kurapika waited until the footsteps of the two men completely faded away before standing up from his hiding place. His mind was still trying to process all the new information. Hisoka was a test subject of theirs? And apparently not the only one.

Kurapika's eyes were drawn to the open door of Chrollo's office. The light was streaming out of it and against his will, Kurapika felt his feet slowly walking forward.

He shouldn't. There was nothing in there that could help him right now. He needed to get to Hisoka. He was running out of time.

 _You have 15 minutes._ Said the voice of his subconscious.

No. 15 minutes isn't enough time. He should go straight to Hisoka.

But even as he thought that, he felt himself step inside Chrollo's office and move towards his boss's desk.

He didn't even know what he was supposed to be looking for. Every sane part of his mind screamed at him to turn around and run back the way he came. But for every mental scream of warning, there was an instinctual whisper of encouragement. His intuition was telling him that there was something Chrollo was hiding from him. Something bigger anything he could ever imagine.

The young doctor moved behind Chrollo's desk and started shuffled through the drawers for something unknown to him. He pushed away some papers and pens finding nothing but the hospital files that were expected to be there.

What was he doing here? What was he hoping to find?

He sighed and closed the desk drawer and when he lifted up his head, he came face to face with Chrollo's open laptop. The bright screen almost blinded the blonde and he blinked a few times to adjust his eyesight. His brown orbs came into focus and the picture on the screen was staring ominously back at him.

On the laptop was a picture of Hisoka in the same torn clothes he wore the day Kurapika found him lying in the road.

The blonde pulled out the chair and sat down as he curiously scanned over the picture. Hisoka's eyes were so empty and void of life. It looked like he was staring into the eyes of a machine and not a man.

He scrolled down and saw that there was a lot of information typed up about the redhead. The doctor leaned forward and scanned over the words, his brain took in the material like a computer storing new data.

Weapon 44: Hisoka

Acquired at age 9.

Extensive training included pain resistance practice implemented by vigorous amounts of physical acts.

Kurapika's mind pulled out the mental record of Hisoka's scars. He always thought that they looked intentional with patterns that mirrored mutilation. That must be what this file meant by 'Implemented by vigorous amounts of physical acts'. He was purposely tortured for some twisted type of 'training'. But… training for what?

Kurapika continued to scan over Hisoka's file. It had years of information on him. So much that it was over 50 pages of notes. Most of it were updates about his physical progress. Kurapika learned that Hisoka was the 44th test subject for Chrollo's mutated protein serum. But surprisingly, Chrollo wasn't the founder of the project. He was merely a part of an elite second generation team who continued the work after their successors.

For years these people gathered unwilling subjects and did mass experiments and tests on them. The goal was to increase their physical strength, mental capabilities, and immune system. The purpose was to expand the average life of a human being just by using concentrated amounts of proteins.

The doctor's eyes quickly darted over the screen. He was reading abnormally fast. What would take someone else hours to read, only took him minutes. The moment his eyes would lie on the page the information soaked in his brain like a sponge.

Some of the notes indicated that the experiments worked best on children. Most likely because they didn't have a fully developed immune system like the adults. They were able to adapt around the protein and survive the effects longer.

The adults, however, were not so lucky. Most died terrible painful deaths and the ones who did survive went mad with insanity.

Kurapika looked over the dosage and the extent of its potency.

It was a heavy dose. Injected straight into the bloodstream or ingested in large pills in a powerful concentration. It was no surprise to Kurapika that most of the subjects died. Instead of making them stronger it would make them so weak they didn't have the strength to breathe. Instead of sharpening their minds, it would dull them into insanity.

Kurapika moved to a new page and was met with another picture of Hisoka. Only this time, the redhead was standing beside a long haired brunette. The name under him read as, 'Illumi'.

The young doctor read on, learning that the two survivors were trained their entire lives to become killing machines. Every day since they were children they were tortured and programmed to fit the idea of the 'perfect' weapon. They even had a command word. 'Kill'. So when their master says this word their consciousness' were turned off and they are switched into autopilot.

After processing all this new information, Kurapika carefully tucked it away in the files of his mind. Then he took Chrollo's flash-drive from his top drawer and downloaded it all onto the little device. He now had an objective.

Kurapika looked over at the clock. 7 minutes had passed since he entered the room. He didn't have much time before Chrollo and Uvogin made their way downstairs.

He quickly closed out the documents and snatched the little flash drive out the computer. Just as he was about to pull away, he saw a folder on the laptop's screen titled 'The Founders'.

The Founders? Yes, that's right. Chrollo inherited the project from someone. Whoever started this whole entire ordeal was hiding away in that tiny little folder. They were the cause of all the death and agony.

Kurapika moved his finger over the mouse and clicked on the file. When it opened up it contained a few short videos, all under a minute long.

The first video was frozen on the face of a doctor that Kurapika almost didn't recognize. The face was too beautiful. Too clean. Too happy. It was a face that he'd seen thousands of times before only in his dreams and nightmares. A face that he longed to see again but feared with all his heart.

His lips parted as a small whisper escaped them.

"Mother."

^.~

Hisoka's ears picked up the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. He could hear that it was two men. The smaller male's was breathing steady and calm while the bigger man's breath was sharp and excited.

The first person he saw was the bigger man. Instantly Hisoka's lips curled in an angry snarl and he forcefully pulled at his chains. The cement cracked under his strength but he was still trapped. He didn't remember who this was, but seeing the face of this man filled him with so much blinding hatred. This man had hurt him. He could feel it. This man had hurt him a lot.

Uvogin chuckled. "I see I've left an impression on you."

Hisoka growled in angry frustration as he yanked at his chains harder. The cracks in the ground grew longer and stretched all the way to the door of his confinement. This felt familiar. Yes, all too familiar.

_The redheaded child turned his attention to Uvogin. His lips stretched in a haughty sneer. "Did you come back to play with me again?" He snapped his teeth at the large man, threatening to bite him once more._

_Uvogin cracked his knuckles. "Soon, you little shit."_

Hisoka yanked at his chains one last time before they pulled out the ground. The gravel clattered all around him as he slowly stood to his feet. Bloodlust poured off him so heavily that he could almost taste it. "Do you want to play with me?" His voice was low and velvety, almost seductive.

Uvogin smiled. "Soon, you little shit."

Chrollo stepped in front of the bulletproof glass with his hands tucked in the pockets of his black coat. His hair was pushed out his face and his eyes were focused solely on Hisoka. All worried he had about Hisoka losing his bloodlust completely vanished the moment he saw him. The redhead was already on the brink of losing himself in his desire to kill. The weapon that they had conditioned for years was still inside of him.

Hisoka's golden orbs moved to Chrollo's and locked onto his. He saw something in those eyes. Something that made him feel as though his free will was locked away in a cage. He became hypnotized by those cold snake eyes that stared at him so confidently. Yes, those eyes… those terrible eyes. He'd seen them many times before.

_The adolescent Chrollo grabbed a fistful of Hisoka's hair. 'You do not speak!' Then he pressed the knife back into Hisoka's side and slowly trailed the blade from his chest to his navel. Blood gushed down to the floor. 'Animals don't speak!'_

The dim lights hanging from the ceiling made Chrollo's body softly glow like the angel of death and the lights flickered as the sound of thunder rumbled from outside the hospital.

"The storm is picking up." Chrollo quietly noted as his eyes rested on Hisoka's. He could see the fire and defiance dying down as the redhead stood silently in his cell.

Hisoka's mind shut down and he was balancing in-between darkness and his consciousness. Slowly, he was losing all of the memories of these past few months and was only filled with his instilled instincts of bloodlust and obedience.

Chrollo nodded at Uvogin to open the locked doors.

Uvogin used his security card to bypass the keypad and the door made a soft beeping noise as it unlocked.

"Come here." Chrollo ordered.

Hisoka steadily and mindlessly moved towards Chrollo. His bare feet felt cold on the hard cement ground and his wrists still stung from the chains that were heavily still clasped on him. They rattled loudly as they dragged behind his slow moving pace.

Chrollo eyes the chains in disdain. They were a bit annoying to listen to. "Please remove those, Uvo."

Uvogin pulled out his keys and grabbed Hisoka roughly by the arm. As he began to unlock the chains he uttered a snarky, "Did you still want to play?"

Hisoka said nothing as he watched the heavy metal fall off his wrist and land on the ground in a tangled chained pile.

"He won't answer you, Uvo." Chrollo said. "Animals don't speak."

^.~

Kurapika's hands trembled as he clicked on the first video.

The camera shifted a little before it came into focus, then it faced his mother and an older man that looked a little like Chrollo. Both of them were wearing white lab coats and smiling at the camera. His mother's belly was protruding and it was very obvious that she was pregnant.

"Jin!" Suzuka giggled. She held one hand over her big belly. "Maybe you should give the camera to Kuroro."

His dad spoke from behind the video camera. "No, no. I can do it." He sounded like he was talking through a smile. "Just speak."

Kuroro was grinning as he obeyed Jin's playful commands. He looked directly at the camera and offered an over exaggerated tone of excitement. "This is day 1 of project Superhuman and we-"

"Project superhuman?" Jin laughed and the camera shook. "What? Are we making superheroes now?"

"Oh, shut up!" Kuroro's words were harsh but he was chuckling. "You're such an idiot."

"Well maybe once we're all superheroes I might become as smart as you."

Kuroro snorted. "There's nothing in the world that can help that dull brain of yours."

Jin's hand was shown throwing a paper ball in Kuroro's direction. "Jackass."

Kuroro picked it up and threw it right back. "Dumbass." He chuckled.

Suzuka lightly slapped Kuroro. "You two are upsetting Kurapika." She rubbed her belly as if to console the unborn child.

Jin quickly handed the camera to Kuroro and it shook until the older man was able to focus it solely on the married couple now. Jin had one hand on the small of Suzuka's back and the other hand resting gently on top of hers. They both looked lovingly down at the unborn baby wiggling in her belly.

"Hey there, son." Jin cooed. "Are you getting excited? Is all this talk interesting to you?"

Kuroro spoke up from behind the camera. "Maybe he'll be the next Doctor Kurta."

Suzuka leaned against her husband and closed her eyes. "Doctor Kurta, Doctor Kurta, and Doctor Kurta." She sang softly. "A whole family of Doctor Kurtas."

Then the video was over. It was frozen on Suzuka's smiling happy face.

Silent tears fell down Kurapika's face. Who were those people? Were those the same two parents he witnessed go insane right before his eyes? The same ones who cried when he cut his hair? The same ones who believed in magic Captains and poisoned pills? The same ones whose blood he bathed in.

They were doctors. Happy and healthy doctors. Practically strangers to him.

Kurapika clicked on the next video.

Jin was sitting in the lab and jotting down some notes on his paper. His hair was a mess and he had dark circles around his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kuroro said from behind the camera. "You look tired. You should go home."

Jin shook his head and looked at the camera. He was smiling.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." Jin answered through a yawn. "Kurapika's still kind of fussy at night. But I'm sure that'll pass once he's a little bit older." He picked up the notes he'd written down and began to read. "We are developing a new form of protein that enhances the senses. If we succeed, then…" His voice trailed off as he yawned again.

Kuroro put the camera down and it was facing the ceiling now. Kurapika could hear them talking but could not see them.

"Hey. Go home with Suzuka. I'll take care of all this. Spend time with the new baby."

A pause, then. "Yeah… you're right…" Another pause. "Are you sure you can handle everything, Kuroro?"

The camera was picked up to face Jin again. Kurapika's father was smiling with his chin resting on his propped up hand. He looked so tired.

"Go home. The camera hates you." Kuroro joked, then the video was over.

Kurapika felt his heartbeat quicken and the blood rush to his head. He was feeling so many things. He felt jealous that this Kuroro got to spend so much time with his parents before they got sick and at the same time he was so happy to see them looking healthy and intelligent. He was sad that he'd never get to spend time with them again and confused as to what all this means.

He clicked the next video.

The camera wiggled as it was adjusted until it came into focus. Kuroro stepped back and looked directly at the screen. His hair was a tangled mess all around his head and his eyes were a bit more crazed from the last video he was in.

"It's been over a year since this project started and still no progress." His voice was heavy with frustration. "We have tested primarily on mice and each test has been a failure."

His trembling hand ran through his dirty hair and he sighed. "I think it's time to test on bigger subjects." He started. "This stuff is meant for humans. So why…"? His voice trailed a bit then, "Aren't we testing on humans?"

Then Kuroro moved to the camera and the video ended.

Kurapika's heart was racing as he clicked on the next one.

The first thing he saw, this time, was himself, only as a young child. He was maybe around 1-year-old playing on the floor of the lab with some toy blocks. The camera was set down on something, maybe a table? And Kuroro bent down over Kurapika's tiny form.

This time, he looked much different than he did in the first video. His once black hair was completely grey from the stress of his work even though there was barely a two-year difference between this video and the first one. His eyes were also very different. Less friendly and more wild, like the eyes of a rabid dog.

Young Kurapika looked up at the man with a bright and trusting smile. "Roro!" He giggled, reaching up to the man he clearly loved. "Roro!"

Kuroro's voice was cold and soft. "Uncle Roro has a surprise for you." He lightly tapped Kurapika's small lips. "Open your mouth. I want to give you something. It's candy."

At the mention of candy, Kurapika's eyes widened in excitement. He opened his mouth and Kuroro brought his hand over Kurapika. He dropped in a single blue pill.

Kurapika coughed and grabbed onto his throat. His little face turned bright red as he choked on the pill his trusted companion gave him. He tried to cry out but his small little airway was blocked as he gagged on the ground.

"Shit." Kuroro sighed while lightly patting the little blonde's back.

Suddenly there was a bang and the camera slammed onto the ground and it now was facing the wall. Kurapika heard his parents screaming in the background.

"What the fuck, Kuroro!?" His mother rushed past the camera to where her little boy was laying. The sound of her trying to dislodge the pill from her son's throat was barely heard of her yelling. "What did you do!?"

"Kurapika!" Jin's voice came next. Young Kurapika was crying, finally able to breathe again, and the older version of Kurapika closed his eyes and tried to remember this day. He tried to access these old forgotten scenes in the impenetrable files of his memory. The video played the sound while his mind showed the pictures. "Kuroro, what have you done?!"

He couldn't remember much. His mother was holding him and rocking him while his father screamed in Kuroro's face.

"We say no human testing and you go and test _**ON OUR SON**_!?" Kurapika remembered his father shoving Kuroro as he yelled.

Kuroro shot the two Kurta doctors a glare. "We will NEVER succeed if we keep testing with mice! We need people!"

"NOT children!" Suzuka screamed from her position on the floor. Kurapika snuggled closer to her in fear. "What's wrong with you?! We were so close to getting it right! We don't even know what effect that will have on Kurapika!" She was afraid. Kurapika could see it on her face. Afraid of what would happen to him. "What…" Her voice cracked. "What did you give him?"

Kuroro looked down at little Kurapika in wonder. "Something that will change his life. You'll see. You'll both see. His intelligence should skyrocket and his body will be faster and stronger. He'll become a new breed of human."

"Or he'll die!" Suzuka shot back. "Or lose his mind! You've seen what this does to the mice. Why did you think it would affect him any differently!?"

Kuroro looked away. "If he dies, there are always other children."

And then Jin tackled Kuroro to the ground. The two men grunted as they threw blows and tussled on the floor. Young Kurapika screamed in fear and buried his face in his mother's shirt.

Then the memory ended, along with the audio from the video.

There were only two videos left. With shaky hands, Kurapika clicked on the next one.

The camera was propped up on a high surface and it faced down at his parents. They were fastened to metal tables and struggling against their restraints.

"Kuroro… please." Suzuka begged. "Don't do this."

Kuroro stepped into view, holding up two needles filled with a clear liquid. "Your son has shown zero signs of being affected." He said softly. "Perhaps it would work better on adults."

Kurapika bit his bottom lip as he watched the man on the video step closer to his strapped parents.

"You should be proud." Kuroro stated, "This is the first real contribution you've put into this project."

Jin opened his mouth to say something but was stopped when Kuroro shoved the needles into both the adults' arms.

His parents fell silent for a second, then the room was filled with their screams. Loud and horrible screams…

Kurapika wanted to cover his ears from the sound. He'd never heard anything so heartbreakingly painful before in his life. Fresh tears started to fall as he watched the torture his parents endured.

Then the video ended.

Kurapika's entire body was trembling as he held the arrow above the last video. He gathered up all his strength then he pushed play.

He saw himself playing on the floor of the lab next to his parents.

"Subjects numbers 1, 2, and 3 have each shown different side effects." Kuroro was holding the camera as he spoke.

"Subject number 1," The camera focused on 2-year-old Kurapika, "Has shown no signs of change. No rises in physical strength or intelligence." Young Kurapika was pushing a car back and forth while making small noises with his mouth.

"Subject number 2," The camera focused on Jin, who was fretting over the car Kurapika was playing with.

"Pika be careful!" Jin said cautiously. "The wheel could come off and hit you in the eye."

Kuroro spoke again. "Intelligence and sanity are slowly depleting. Has gained an extreme case of paranoia and agoraphobia."

The camera moved to Suzuka. "And Subject number 3…"

Suzuka was facing the wall and talking to someone who wasn't there.

"Has developed very vivid delusions."

The camera was shifted to now face Kuroro. "The first 3 subjects were failures. They will be released and new subjects will be brought in." He paused and his face twisted in ugly determination. He had truly allowed himself to be taken by his work. He was obsessed. "I will not stop until I succeed."

And the video was over.

Kurapika was frozen and he had a new understanding of everything that had ever happened to him.

It wasn't a coincidence that both his parents developed mental disorders at the same time. It was done to them by their trusted friend and colleague.

Kurapika closed his eyes and he was surprised to feel that his body was filling with an unfamiliar warmth.

His parents weren't insane. They were good and loving. They were doctors.

Something overcame him and it made him feel like a small piece of his heart was returned to him. What was it?

Oh yes… it was closure.

He had closure.

Kurapika wiped away the last of his tears and jumped to his feet, tucking the flash-drive into his pocket.

He was overcome with a burning determination to free Hisoka and turn Chrollo in.

He would do it for everyone who was ever hurt because of this project.

~.^

Hisoka walked silently beside Chrollo, his mind was blank and his emotions gone. Chrollo's presence was powerful. It overtook Hisoka and made him forget who he once was.

"It's raining pretty hard." Uvogin said as they stepped into the lobby. "Machi might be late if it keeps up."

Chrollo said nothing as his eyes slowly trailed over Hisoka's body. The redhead looked just as powerful as the day that he'd run away. His wounds were all healed but the scars were still there. Chrollo doubted that scars like those would ever truly go away.

The redhead tilted his head to the side in curiosity and listened. He could hear the heartbeat of another party.

Kurapika closed Chrollo's office door and ran out the room. He was walking straight for the stairs leading towards the restricted area but stopped when he heard Uvogin's voice echo loudly from the lobby.

"It's raining pretty hard. Machi might be late if it keeps up."

The little blonde moved silently to the lobby and nearly cursed under his breath when he saw Chrollo and Uvogin had already gotten Hisoka. They beat him there. It was his fault. Now what he was supposed to do?

Hisoka could hear the panic arise in the new intruder's heartbeat and briefly wondered if they planned on attacking. Oh, he certainly hoped so. He was quite bored just standing here. He wanted something to play with.

' _ **Hisoka.'**_ Kurapika thought. He tried to search around for their wavelength but found that it was weaker, as if Hisoka had blocked Kurapika's mind off from entering. _**'Hisoka?'**_

Hisoka winced, feeling a strange little nudge in his subconscious. It was a nagging throb in his brain that made him feel very frustrated. Hisoka peered over his shoulder and looked directly at Kurapika's quiet and still form.

He didn't know who the little blonde was, but he had the animistic urge to pin the little creature down and lovingly rip his beautiful beating heart out.

Uvogin followed Hisoka's gaze and smiled a snake-like grin. "Boss?"

Chrollo didn't say anything, he just nodded.

Kurapika stood frozen in thought as time seemed to slow. He could see the desire for violence in Uvogin's eyes as he started walking towards the blonde doctor. He could see the idle inquisitiveness over Chrollo's face as he lazily watched with his hands in his pockets. And he could see the dark bloodlust that poured off of Hisoka's unrecognizable body. Yes. He could see it all.

Kurapika closed his eyes and for a moment, everything disappeared. He was a child back in his home with his mother and father.

Suzuka was holding Kurapika in her lap while she hummed a little tune and braided his long blonde hair. "Pika, Pika~." She lightly sang. "What are you reading?"

Kurapika relaxed under his mother's soft fingers as they twirled through his golden locks. "A book about anatomy."

"Anatomy." She repeated. "It sounds very pretty." She planted a soft kiss on the top of her son's head.

Kurapika smiled, pleased with the idea that his mother was showing some sort of interest in his books. "It is. It's also very complicated." He turned around to face his mother. "See look." He pointed to a picture of a human diaphragm. "This is what we look like on the inside."

Suzuka scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I don't think so." She took the book from Kurapika and studied the picture.

"No, it's true." Kurapika sat on his knees and pointed to different parts of the body. "See? Here's the bones, and all these things are the muscles, and this is the heart."

"Hearts aren't shaped like that." Suzuka said thoughtfully. She titled her head as she reviewed what he was telling her. Learning about human anatomy felt very familiar to her. "What are these?" She pointed to the long skinny red worms like things that all connected to the heart.

"Oh, those?" Kurapika looked to what she was pointing at. "Those are veins, or arteries." He explained as his finger moved across the page. "These are Subclavian Arteries." His finger moved from the body's shoulder then to its arm. "Brachial Arteries." His finger moved down to the thighs. "Femoral Arteries."

"Stop." Suzuka closed the book before her son could continue. She didn't like this story very much. "Please just stop…"

Kurapika put his book down and touched his mother's dirty cheek with his equally dirty hand. "It's okay mommy." He said softly. "I'll tell you another one, okay?"

Suddenly Kurapika's reality crashed all around him as he felt his body being seized by Uvogin. The young doctor's mind flipped on its analytical side as the security guard lifted him off the ground. At that moment, the only thing Kurapika heard was the jiggling of Uvogin's keys as they dangled from his waist.

"I've waited a long time for this." Uvogin said lowly in the little blonde's ear.

Kurapika exhaled and tried to push out his nerves. Then, his hand shot up from his side and he pressed his thumb in Uvogin's left eye.

The larger man cursed in pain and threw Kurapika to the ground, making him slam his head into the floor with such force that his vision became blurry.

But there was no time for him to recover. Kurapika fought through the dizziness to focus on the keys on Uvogin's belt. Just as he crawled close enough to grab them, Uvogin's fist slammed into his cheek and knocked him flat on his back.

Kurapika landed with an 'oof' but clutched the keys so tightly in his fist that his knuckles turned white.

Uvogin was coming closer, one of his eyes were closed and bloodied but the larger man moved as if he didn't even notice. His heart was throbbing with rage and excitement.

Kurapika didn't miss the threatening atmosphere that loomed around the security guard. It matched the storm in darkness and ruthlessness. It was as unmistakable as the lightning that crashed down right outside their doors and as lurid as the thunder that shook the hospital.

Uvogin stood over Kurapika and bent down to slam his fist over his head. And at the exact moment, Kurapika shoved the key through the meaty flesh of Uvogin's thigh. He winced has he felt the squish of the larger man's left Femoral Artery being pierced by the long metal key.

Uvogin's blood splattered across Kurapika's face.

_Something thick and warm splashed across Kurapika's face. He tasted the metallic flavor of blood. Was this his?_

_His eyes burned from the downpour of blood as he opened them._

_And he saw his mother…_

Uvogin viciously growled as he snatched up Kurapika by his hair. His blood pooled at his feet gushed out of him at an alarming rate. The larger man was getting dizzy, and wobbled as he lifted his trembling fist.

Carotid Artery. Kurapika shoved the key through Uvogin's flesh right under his jaw line and clenched his teeth in revulsion. How were they able to do this so easily? The blood on his skin burned and his stomach lurched in disgust as he heard the sound of Uvogin's flesh tearing.

Uvogin's fist slammed into Kurapika's stomach and the blonde knocked back onto the ground. He landed with a splash in Uvogin's blood and was instantly covered in the sickening dark red liquid.

_In his rush, he slipped in a puddle of something wet and fell into drenched litter next to his father._

_"D-daddy?" He looked down at Jin and a sharp cry caught his throat._

_Blood. That's what he slipped in. He was soaking in his father's blood._

Kurapika coughed and held his stomach as he curled into a ball. Blood trickled out his lips and dripped down the side of his face. He watched as Uvogin placed his large hand over the injury under his chin and struggled to keep his balance. Soft gurgling noises escaped the larger man's mouth as he fell to his knees then dropped face down in a puddle of his own blood.

Kurapika coughed again while he weakly pulled himself back on his feet. He used his arm to wipe away the blood that covered his face and he shot Chrollo and dangerous glare.

Chrollo still had his hands in his pockets and he was completely still. The room was silent all except for the sounds of the storm outside.

Chrollo's voice was light as he spoke. "I've always been genuinely impressed by how well you've handled your patients." The sky brightened with lightening, illuminating Chrollo's silhouette. "The way your mind works is very impressive."

Kurapika's eyes were burning with hatred as he held his arm over his tender stomach.

"I suppose you have my father to thank for that." Chrollo stated.

Blood dripped off of Kurapika's face and fell into the pool of red liquid on the floor. "That and the murder of my parents." His throat burned while he talked.

Chrollo thoughtfully looked at the ground. "I suppose you're right." He pulled a hand from his pocket and pushed his hair back. "I could definitely see how his actions led to the death of the Kurtas."

Kurapika said nothing as bile rose in the back of his throat.

"But the treasures our parents left behind were far more valuable than the lives of two doctors." Chrollo added softly. "Their research and sacrifices are what this entire project was built on. It's what made you what you are today."

"An orphan."

"A genius." Chrollo corrected. "A brilliant doctor. The best in your field I might add."

"How dare you." Kurapika wiped away the blood that was dripping down his chin. "How dare you speak of the Kurtas in such a disrespectful way. Nothing was worth their lives."

"Why, Dr. Kurta. I gave you a compliment, not an insult. Is the _best_ still not good enough for you?" He asked, purposely mirroring the exact same words Kurapika had said to him earlier that afternoon.

Kurapika scowled. "You're disgusting."

Chrollo shrugged and looked outside to the pounding rain. "When I heard that Kurapika Kurta graduated with a doctorate at 14 I was filled with joy." He moved past Hisoka and stepped closer to the beaten blonde doctor. "I had such pride, as if my own little brother were graduating."

Kurapika winced in loathing at the comparison. "We're nothing like brothers."

Chrollo smiled. "Not by blood. But you could say that we both were shaped by the same man."

Thin streams of blood trailed down from Kurapika's lips and curved around his trembling jawline.

"I protected you and helped you become the best. I did it all for you, Dr. Kurta. I did it to help you reach your full potential."

Kurapika looked into the devilish eyes of his boss. How had he once looked up to the man standing coldly before him? How had he ever allowed himself to trust this vile, selfish person? "You did it for you." He whispered.

Chrollo closed his eyes in disappointment. "I'm sorry you feel that way." He moved behind Hisoka. "And I'm sorry that I have to do this."

Kurapika watched as Chrollo laid his hand over Hisoka's muscular shoulder. "Hisoka." The brunette's voice was crisp and it made Hisoka's body tense under the touch.

"Kill him."


	16. The End

 

' _Illumi?'_

' _Hm?'_

' _Do you think we were put here for a reason?'_

' _We were put here to die.'_

' _I don't think so Illu~! I think I was put here to do something important.'_

' _You're optimistic, Hiso… For a homeless kid.'_

' _I suppose I am. But I think I have to be.'_

' _Optimism is for children.'_

' _Maybe it is but…This can't be all I'm here for. There has to be more than pain.'_

' _There is only pain…Only pain and death.'_

_Only pain and death…_

' _ **Illumi?'**_

Hisoka shivered. His fingers lightly tapped against his leg in anticipation and the bitter cold that numbed his fingertips stretched all the way up to his forearm. His knees ached and his chest burned. It was as if he had swallowed a mouthful of acid.

' _ **Illumi.'**_

His ears were ringing as he brought his bloodied hands to his head and covered his eyes. His bright red hair hung over his shoulders while he leaned over in agony. He sat on his knees and his legs trembled under his weight.

' _ **Illumi…'**_

Blood covered his muscular body and a storm raged above him as it tried to cleanse him from the evidence of his sins. Everything was so cold.

' _ **Illumi!'**_

Chrollo stood behind Hisoka's crouched form. He watched his weapon with a stony expression. "You're a killer, Hisoka. You'll always be a killer."

Hisoka leaned down and pressed his forehead over Illumi's. The brunette's skin felt so cold under his touch. Illumi's dark lifeless eyes stared up into Hisoka's like a couple of bottomless voids.

A loud broken cry tore viciously from the back of Hisoka's throat as he held onto his companion. Illumi's blood sheathed them both in a layer that not even the rain could completely wash away and it burned the redhead's skin. His bright hair fell onto Illumi's face and kissed his dead companion's cheeks.

_You're a killer, Hisoka. You'll always be a killer._

Uvogin squeezed Hisoka's shoulder and a sneer slithered its way over his lips.

Hisoka shivered. He yanked away from the touch and stumbled to his feet.

"44." Chrollo tilted his head. "Come here."

Hisoka's eyes darted from Illumi and then to his own bloodied hands. He shivered again, and a low exhale left his body. He couldn't stop himself from killing him. But…he could never stop when he was used as a weapon.

He took a step back.

"44?"

His heart jumped. He shook his head and lightning struck fiercely above him. He wanted to forget this. He wanted to forget everything. He wanted the memory of Illumi's beautiful dead body to be erased from his mind. He wanted the feeling of Illumi's blood to be washed off of his dangerous hands. He wanted to forget the way Illumi's lifeless eyes stared back at him silently asking Hisoka, why? Why did he do this?

"44. Come here, now."

Yes, please let him forget. Let him forget the years of torture, let him forget the years of pain. He couldn't take it. He just couldn't take it anymore. It was all too much. Please, please, please. No more…

Lightning struck again and the sky roared.

' _What's your name?! Tell me your name, you worthless shit!'_

' _Don't be so_ _ **fuckin**_ _picky, Hisoka!'_

' _You're crying? 13-year-olds don't cry.'_

' _Shut up! You do not speak! Animals don't speak!'_

' _You're a killer, Hisoka. You'll always be a killer.'_

"44!" Uvogin yelled. "Are your fuckin ears broken? Come here!"

Hisoka shook his head and wiped his face of the rain that blinded him. The only thing that he could focus on were the cold pools of Illumi's lifeless eyes. Hisoka looked away. His mind was filled with a thousand whispers and they all said the same thing…

Run.

Yes, he should run. Run away from all the pain.

Hisoka's hands trembled at his sides as he turned around. But even as he moved, he could still feel the burn of Illumi's stare.

Yes, he should run. Run away from his loneliness.

His soft breathing echoed in his ears, becoming the only thing he could hear. It drowned out the beating of the rain and drowned out his own feet as they splashed on the wet ground. He ran, kicking up rain water behind him.

Yes, he should run. Run away from the death.

His eyes chest burned as he left behind the empty field where his companion lay. He ran and ran trying to ignore the thunder above him and a distant, "HISOKA!" of his name being called.

But he didn't stop. Not even when he reached the dreary city. Not even he heard a horn honking for him to move out the way. Not even when he saw a pair of bright headlights suddenly appear in front of him. No. Not even then.

The brakes screeched and his body was slammed into the vehicle. His head hit the windshield and he bounced off the car and landed in the middle of the road. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was the pouring rain, and the silhouette of a car driving away.

His heartbeat was pounding softly in a sea of darkness.

Bump. Bump.

Bump. Bump.

Bump. Bump…

There was nothing. Nothing but…

' _There is only pain…Only pain and death.'_

He was gone. Lost in obscurity and silence…

Hisoka deeply exhaled.

His body was suddenly filling with a new unfamiliar heat. It grew from the depths of his core and stretched all the way across his entire being. Sounds of security crackled around him. His mind was wiped of everything but of the tenderness and calm that he was feeling right at this moment. He never wanted to move.

Get up. His mind warned him.

No. He didn't want to get up. He was incredibly comfortable right now. He was wrapped in serene warmth, ears filled with the crackling of a nearby fire and the low rumbling of the storm.

Ahh… such wonderful sounds. They were gently lulling him back into blissful unconsciousness.

Get up.

No. He felt so secure and cozy and something told him that this was not treatment he was used to. Why would he purposely move away from the new blissfulness he was feeling?

Run.

Run… Yes, he was running. Why was he running?

Run.

Run to what? Was he chasing something?

Run _away_.

That's right. Something was chasing _him_. He remembered that now. He was running from something. Something alarming and dangerous. But what? What was he running from?

' _HISOKA!'_

He cried out a broken moan, making an audible noise for the first time since he woke up. The pain throbbing in the back of his head that was earlier numbed by his unconsciousness was coming back with a vengeance.

Panic rose in his chest and his heart was beating so hard he could hear it.

He could hear his own heartbeat. Was that normal for him? He couldn't remember.

Suddenly his panic grew much more intense.

He realized that he couldn't remember anything.

He was trapped in a mass of fog and dread, unaccompanied with not even memories of other people to keep him sane.

He was alone. And the thought of being alone was more frightening than anything else in the world.

"You're awake." The voice above him sounded so kind and concerned. "Yeah… you hit your head really hard. You need to go to the hospital."

At the mention of the hospital, Hisoka shot up and inadvertently banged his forehead against the soothing sounding voice's head.

"Ow!" It cried out.

But Hisoka didn't really pay attention to the other person's pain. All he knew was that he couldn't go to the hospital. Something about it screamed danger. He couldn't go and he would not allow anyone to take him there.

"Hey, hey…" A warm hand touched his chest. He'd been shivering. "Calm down. Everything is okay. What's your name?"

How could this person have known that the cold trembling body they touched belonged to a dangerous weapon? How could they have known that their act of kindness would change their life forever? How could they have known they'd be fighting for their life from the very man they tried to save?

How could they have known…

Until it was too late.

"Hisoka?" Kurapika took a tentative step back. He was still weakly clutching his aching stomach and his head pounded from the blow Uvogin gave him.

What could he do? What could he possibly do to save himself from the only man in the world he trusted?

The blood coated keys were still tightly clutched in Kurapika's fist. His eyes scanned over every part of Hisoka's body as the redhead's bloodlust grew. The dark aura coming off of Hisoka filled the entire lobby and Kurapika felt himself losing his breath under the heavy weight of Hisoka's desire to kill.

Hisoka slowly moved forward. His mind was wiped of any memories of the blonde that he loved. The only thing he remembered was pain. Only pain and death.

Kurapika took another step back, his hand shook as he held onto the keys. They were his only weapon. The only things he could use to save his life.

Hisoka studied the little blonde. The blood covered male appeared to already be injured. There was no fun in killing something that didn't put up a fight. Hisoka wore a look of disinterest as he circled the tiny thing like a wolf circling its prey. His sun-kissed eyes stared blankly down at Kurapika's small blood-soaked body. His dirty bright red hair hung loosely in-between his shoulder blades and his muscles tensed in anticipation. He was going to kill this pathetic little thing.

Time slowed as Kurapika's mind worked.

He couldn't run away. He'd never move fast enough. Could he fight?

His eyes flicked over to Hisoka's neck.

He could shove the keys in his Carotid Artery just as he'd done with Uvogin.

But…

Kurapika shivered, remembering the feel of Uvo's thick sticky blood on his hands.

Could he do that again? Could he do that to Hisoka…?

No. He'd have to find another way.

Something Leorio said came rushing back to him.

' _Kurapika works with some of the deadliest criminals in the world. It's why all his patients have to be separated from the rest of us.'_

Right. How could he forget? The security desk in the restricted area. It had a panic button under it. Perhaps if he could reach it…

And then suddenly, everything was moving quickly again. Kurapika's lips parted in surprise when he felt Hisoka clamp his hand around his neck and throw him to the ground. The little blonde's head smashed onto the floor and the world spun above him. He dropped the keys and grabbed Hisoka's wrist with both of his hands. "Hisoka." The word came out strained.

Hisoka's eyes widened. The moment Kurapika touched him a memory of the little blonde's voice spoke faintly in his head.

' _You're awake.'_

Hisoka shook his head and jumped back as if he'd been struck by lightning.

' _Yeah… you hit your head really hard. You need to go to the hospital.'_

Kurapika struggled to his feet. He was dizzy and Uvogin's blood soaked his long blonde hair. But he had to get to the restricted area. He couldn't waste any time.

Hisoka held onto the wall to keep his balance. He couldn't focus. The world tilted back and forth as his mind buzzed with disorder.

Chrollo raised a brow in question. "Hisoka." He spoke very calmly. "Your toy is getting away."

Hisoka shook his head, trying to force away all his confusion. He snapped out of his trance and his eyes narrowed at Kurapika who was heading towards a door.

The redhead moved quickly, so quickly that he was a blur when he appeared right in front of Kurapika blocking him from the exit.

But that didn't stop the doctor. He grunted in strain as he used all of his strength to shove his body against Hisoka's and knock the heavy redhead backward. Both of them rammed against the door, breaking it open and falling down the stairs. They tumbled together with their limbs intertwined, banging their heads on the way down.

When they reached the bottom, the little blonde tried to shake off his pain as he crawled away from Hisoka. He struggled to his feet, almost falling over again from his light-headedness.

As he stumbled to his feet, he felt Hisoka's strong grip on his arm and he almost fell backward again. He turned around and faced the deadly redhead.

"Hisoka, stop." He tried to pull away.

Hisoka winced when Kurapika said his name. The blonde's voice did something to him. He didn't understand what, and that made him very angry.

Hisoka's hand moved down to Kurapika's wrist and the redhead quickly twisted it until he heard the cracking sound of the doctor's bone breaking.

Kurapika screamed. It was loud and bloodcurdling. It rang throughout the entire hospital and echoed miserably in the halls. It was a wail that would be in Hisoka's memory forever.

It made his heart ache…

Kurapika cradled his broken arm and dropped to his knees. He sobbed as he tenderly touched his shattered limb. Fresh hot tears rolled down his face and he looked up at Hisoka in agony. "Damn…" The word came out as a pitiful sob. He wanted to fight back. To hurt Hisoka just as he did Uvogin. To defend himself against the monster before him.

He wanted to be angry but… how could he? How could he hate Hisoka when Kurapika knew that the mindless redhead knew nothing of what he was doing? How could he hate someone who was just as much of a victim as he was?

Hisoka grimaced as the little male's scream filled his ears. He tried to push Kurapika away from him but Kurapika used his unbroken hand to grab the redhead's wrist.

His golden eyes widened as he gazed into Kurapika's steady chocolate colored ones. His skin tingled under the blonde's touch and it made his heart beat much faster than it was before. The memory of Kurapika's voice rang out in his mind again.

' _Hey, hey… Calm down. Everything is okay. What's your name?'_

Hisoka roughly yanked away from the blonde in horror.

He wanted him to get _out_ of his head! He wanted the voices to stop!

"Hisoka?" Kurapika tried to reach for Hisoka but the redhead recoiled in disgust and reflexively slammed his fist in the small blonde's cheek. Kurapika yelped as he was knocked back a few feet back and landed hard on the ground.

Fight back! His mind screamed at him.

Get up and fight!

He could. Even if he didn't win, he could do something. He could make his death harder. He could hurt Hisoka before his life was taken.

The doctor looked up as Hisoka moved to sit on top of him. He could see the pain and confusion in Hisoka's eyes. He could see the hurt and grief. It made him feel pity for his dear companion.

Hisoka roughly grabbed two fistfuls of loose messy blonde hair. His teeth were clenched and hands were shaking.

Kurapika was crying but he ignored the tears that rolled down his cheeks. As he watched Hisoka he knew that the redhead was going to kill him, and a memory of a realization that he had come to understand danced around in his soul.

Hisoka wanted to look away as he felt himself being overcome with confused rage. He clenched Kurapika's hair even tighter as he lifted the blonde's head off the cement and then brutally slammed it back down.

Kurapika let out a pained cry. He arched his back and screamed into the ceiling. He could feel his blood mixing in with his hair and staining the back of his shirt. His voice was raspy and his throat burned. Hisoka's leg was pressed roughly over his broken arm and he could feel the bone splintering under his weight.

Hisoka winced at the sound. His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. It hurt seeing this little doctor in pain. It hurt so bad…

He wanted it to stop.

He wanted all the pain to stop.

Hisoka lifted Kurapika's head again and then slammed it back down.

The force made Kurapika bite his tongue. So much metallic blood filled his throat that it dribbled out the sides of his mouth. The spot under his eye where Hisoka punched him was swollen and purple and his hair was tangled in a sea of red. His breath was shallow and wheezy and his eyes were glazed over in death and sadness. "H-Hisoka…" He tried to move under the heavy redhead but couldn't. He wished he could touch Hisoka's face. He wished he could fix everything.

What were those words? Those words that eluded him.

Hisoka chest burned with sorrow for a reason he still did not understand. He let out a frustrated growl and slammed the blonde's skull down on the ground again. The blood that pooled around them splashed across his face and his golden eyes widened in crazed torture.

Kurapika was crying. But he was not crying from the pain of being killed by the hands of his love. He was crying out of pity. Pity for himself and pity for Hisoka.

What were those words? Those words that left him breathless.

Hisoka's body trembled and his breathing was frantic and shallow. He felt like he was dying as he watched the life drain from the doctor's eyes. He angrily picked up Kurapika's head and slammed it back down letting out a cry of agony as he abused the little blonde.

What were those words… Those words that felt so familiar…

Something warm was running down Hisoka's face and dripped onto Kurapika's lips. The redhead slowly reached up to touch his own cheek and looked down at his wet fingertips.

He was crying…

He was crying over this…this broken toy…

Kurapika moved his lips to talk but instead he coughed and blood spurted out his mouth landing softly across Hisoka's face.

Hisoka's leaned closer to the dying blonde and his falling tears landed softly on Kurapika's cheeks. With each shuddering breath Kurapika took, the redhead would get a fresh wave of stinging agony in his heart. A small sob escaped Hisoka's lips as he gazed down at this damaged person he did not recognize.

Kurapika's unbroken arm trembled as he was finally able to pull it from under Hisoka's legs. Then he reached up and buried his hand in Hisoka's soft ruffled red hair. He was going to die… He could feel it…But that was okay. Because he finally remembered those words… those words he had forgotten.

He stared into Hisoka's tear-filled and confused eyes. He wanted to tell the silly redhead how much he meant to him. How much he changed him. He wanted to go on and on about how Hisoka brought out the best of Kurapika and allowed him to smile again. How he reminded the doctor that it's okay to be broken when you have someone to be your missing pieces.

Hisoka's heart was beating hard against his chest as he fell motionless. He tensed up when he felt Kurapika's hand move from his hair, and then travel down the back of his neck. Kurapika gently pulled Hisoka closer, so close that their noses softly brushed against each other's and they could feel one another's breath on their cheeks.

Hisoka's shoulders shook as he wept over the broken and bloodied doctor. He didn't understand why the blonde made him feel so weak. He didn't understand why his presence made him feel exposed and vulnerable. But he didn't care anymore. He just wanted him to stay alive. He wanted him to stay alive even if it was just for a little while longer…

Kurapika tilted his head up brushed his lips softly over Hisoka's. His voice was nothing but a quiet whisper as he spoke against the mouth of the crying redhead. He whispered something. Something that he knew he could no longer deny. He whispered those words. Those words that completed him. And as he muttered them, he felt like his heart was shattered and then put back together around Hisoka's.

"I love you…Hisoka."

And Hisoka felt a new familiar feeling wash over his soul. A mix of sadness and love flooded into his heart and drowned out the raging hellfire of his bloodlust.

He felt like a fog had been cleared from his conscious and a weight had been lifted from his heart. All of his confusion and all of his worries were fading away and everything was just so… clear.

He closed his eyes…and then he remembered.

' _Hisoka? Is that your name? …Hisoka? My name is Kurapika.'_

_Kurapika whipped the shower curtain open. 'HISOKA! GET. OUT!'_

' _Hisoka.' Kurapika spoke around the mouthful of nasty food, cringing as he bit into an eggshell. 'We have to leave soon'_

' _It'll be okay.' Kurapika whispered. 'I'm right here.'_

' _Hisoka! NO!' Kurapika swung open the bathroom door and stormed in the kitchen. 'I'm cooking breakfast today!'_

' _Hisoka, I'm fine.' Kurapika rolled his eyes. 'I just banged it on the door, I didn't break it_.'

' _Hisoka…Good Lord! How did you manage to hurt yourself on the first day?'_

' _Hisoka.' Kurapika lightly shook the bags to indicate that their hug was about to make him drop the food._

' _H-Hisoka.' He whispered the name, barely audible. Hisoka's hot tongue was still drawing over him, sending excited shivers throughout his body._

' _You're such an idiot, Hisoka.' Kurapika's soft hand gently trailed down to the middle of Hisoka's chest._

' _I love you…Hisoka.'_

Hisoka's eyes widened in horror as his memories, all of his memories, came flooding back to him. He remembered all of the pain, all of the death, but most of all, he remembered Kurapika.

' _ **Kurapika?'**_

He struggled to find their wavelength as his gently shook the shoulders of the one he loved.

"Kurapika." He said aloud this time. His ears were ringing as he brought his bloodied hands to the blonde's cheek. His bright red hair hung over his shoulders while he leaned over in agony. He quickly moved off of the small doctor and tried to force Kurapika to sit up. "Kurapika!" But Kurapika was too weak. He slouched over in the redhead's arms and closed his eyes.

"Kurapika…" Hisoka kissed the blonde's bloodied forehead and ignored the tears that rolled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry…"

And then everything fell silent. Hisoka heard the sound of a very familiar heartbeat move quickly behind him. He could sense the presence of the person responsible for all the torment he had endured. Before he could turn around to face the person who sent wrathful chills down his spine, something pierced through his chest. The redhead coughed, spitting up a mouthful of blood. He looked down to see a sharpened hand pull out of his flesh and leave a gaping hole.

Chrollo stood behind Hisoka and wiped his bloodied hand on his shirt. He watched his weapon with an expression that was dull and cold. "You're a killer, Hisoka. That's what you've always been." He slowly shook his head in disappointment. "It's what I needed you to be."

Hisoka leaned over and clutched his wound. He bled all over the body of his broken love. Kurapika lightly moaned when he felt the warmth of Hisoka's blood soak through the front of his shirt. He weakly reached up and touched the redhead's injury.

"Hisoka…" He spoke with his eyes still closed.

Hisoka's winced and grabbed Kurapika's hand. _**'Be quiet.'**_ He affectionately thought to his beautiful doctor. _**'Don't talk. Please… you're too weak.'**_

Kurapika wore a small smile and his eyelids fluttered open. Even now he looked like an angel. _**'You came back to me.'**_

Hisoka clutched Kurapika tighter to him and buried his nose in the crook of the blonde's neck. _**'I'll always come back to you.'**_ He cursed himself for what he'd done. He wished that he never met Kurapika. Then maybe the brilliant doctor wouldn't be dying right now…

Chrollo stepped in front of them with a dissatisfied expression on his face. "You didn't kill him." More of a statement than a question. "Very disheartening…"

Hisoka looked at the hands of his once master. Chrollo's nails were much longer and sharper than they were before. His limbs were stiff and hard, as if not even made from human flesh anymore.

Chrollo took notice of this and held up his hands as he spoke. "Oh…surprised?" He asked. "Yes, my father was never very biased." He leaned over and looked down at Kurapika. "I guess this makes us closer than you think." He whispered.

Kurapika glared up at Chrollo and weakly wrapped his arm protectively over Hisoka. It reminded the redhead of their first weekend together. How Kurapika wanted so desperately to protect Hisoka from the mean words of the subway passengers. Even then, the two had formed something that even they couldn't quite understand.

Chrollo looked hurt. "Dr. Kurta. What kind of monster do you think I am? I wouldn't kill your lover in front of you. I respect you too much." He stated. "I promise," His knuckles cracked as he lifted his mutated sharpened claws over Kurapika. ", to make both of your deaths very quick."

Chrollo swiped his arm down expecting to feel the tear of the doctor's flesh under his nails but instead, he was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.

"Hisoka." Chrollo's eyes widened. Hisoka had never touched him before. Not once during Hisoka's years of growing up being mutilated and abused did he ever lay a single hand on Chrollo. This was the first.

Hisoka squeezed Chrollo's wrist tighter as he stood up and faced the man before him. His eyes were narrowed and dangerous. "Don't." He warned, moving so his body blocked Kurapika from Chrollo's view.

Chrollo looked at his seized arm then to Hisoka. His eyebrows were raised in curiosity and interest. "This is…interesting." Chrollo drove his other arm into Hisoka's stomach. Hisoka grunted in pain as Chrollo pulled him closer and whispered in his ear. "But you'll regret that."

' _ **Kurapika…run.'**_

Kurapika shakenly tried to stand up but his head injury made him feel extremely dizzy. He suspected that his skull was cracked and wondered how long it would be before he keeled over. _**'No.'**_ He thought back. _**'You idiot. I'm not leaving you.'**_

Hisoka groaned as he pulled Chrollo's arm out of him and threw the brunette on the ground. He pressed one of his feet on Chrollo's back to keep him from getting up. He pulled and twisted with all his strength until he heard the ripping of flesh as he tore the man's arm off. Hisoka tossed Chrollo's detached limb to the side.

Blood gushed out the brunette's wound and pooled on the ground around him. The pain was quite excruciating. It made him a little bit irritable. Chrollo swiped his feet under Hisoka's legs and knocked the redhead on his back. He then moved over him and slammed his fist over Hisoka's head.

' _ **Hisoka!'**_ Kurapika reached for his love but was stopped by Hisoka's sharp order.

' _ **Leave, Kurapika!'**_

' _ **I'm not letting you throw your life away…'**_ Kurapika looked over to the desk and struggled to stand to his feet.

' _I'm not letting you throw your life away just because you're being irrational.' Kurapika glared at Hisoka who was chained inside of his confinement._

' _Irrational?'_

' _Yes, irrational. You're being irrational.'_

Kurapika strained again as his broken limb dangled at his side. He held onto his stomach and fought through the white hot pain shooting throughout his head as he limped to the security desk.

The room was spinning. The beaten doctor was leaving behind a thick trail of blood the closer he got.

Chrollo swiped his clawed hand over Hisoka's eyes and the redhead growled as he covered his bleeding face. Blood poured from in-between his fingers and flowed down his cheeks.

He bucked Chrollo off of him and rolled over on his knees. He tried to open his eyes but he couldn't see through all the stinging pain.

Kurapika's skin was ashen and his lips were blue as he fell onto the desk. He groaned as he pulled himself behind the wooden thing and searched under it for the little red button.

Chrollo stepped behind the blonde and grabbed his legs. He pulled the doctor from under the desk and Kurapika growled in frustration. Yanking one of his legs free, Kurapika kicked Chrollo in the wound were Hisoka had torn off his arm.

Chrollo let go and clutched his wound in pain. He glared at the little doctor before leaping for Kurapika again but Hisoka was there to stop him. Both of the redhead's eyes were sealed shut by the ugly gash Chrollo gave him and blood covered his entire face. But he could still hear. He could hear Chrollo's angry raging heartbeat and knew exactly where he was.

The redhead tackled him to the ground and this time, Chrollo was ready. He allowed Hisoka to tackle him and he angled his body so that he would land on his back when the redhead pinned him down.

Hisoka gasped and blood spurted out his mouth.

He looked down and saw that Chrollo had plunged his hand into him for a third time, this time cutting through him right above his heart. Hisoka's blood rained down over Chrollo's triumphant face.

Kurapika felt all the air leave his body as he watched the blood pour down from his love's chest. All thoughts of calling for help left him and he stumbled closer to the two men.

Chrollo frowned as he looked up at Hisoka's weakening form. "You're so pathetic…" He pulled his hand out of Hisoka and shuddered as more of Hisoka's warm blood gushed all over his chest.

In his rush, Kurapika slipped on the wet ground and landed on his hands and knees. He cried out in frustration and looked up to see Chrollo's torn arm laying on the floor.

He picked it up.

Hisoka's body dropped heavily on Chrollo and his head slumped over the brunette's shoulder.

Chrollo's frown deepened. "I'm disappointed in you, Hisoka…" He told his once powerful weapon. "I expected more."

"Chrollo…" Kurapika stood over them with a look in his eye that was more deadly and vengeful than anything Chrollo had ever seen before. He was loosely holding Chrollo's detached arm at his side. The limb was sharpened and rigid just as it was when it was still attached to the murderous brunette. Kurapika's grip on the limb tightened as he dropped to his knees beside Chrollo. His brown eyes were clouded over in pure untainted hatred.

Chrollo looked over at Kurapika in revelation. "Dr. Kurta. You would kill me with my own hand? How monstrous."

Kurapika said nothing as he squeezed the limb he was holding. All he saw at that moment were the faces of his parents. He closed his eyes and forced them away.

Chrollo smiled. "I'm faster than you." He warned. "I'd slit your throat before you even lift it."

But Kurapika said nothing as he calmly lifted the limb above his head. The sharpened fingers of Chrollo's hand pointed straight down, directly above the brunette's skull.

Chrollo was about to move out of the way. He was about to move behind the blonde and grab him by his delicate little shoulders. He was about to slice his fingers through Kurapika's neck and watch all the blood gush out from his flesh…

He was about to but…

Hisoka's hand clasped over Chrollo's other arm and in a quick motion, he twisted the limb and cracked the bones in Chrollo's only attached arm. The redhead slowly lifted off of Chrollo and his bright red hair hung loosely around his face, almost covering his bleeding eyes. His breath was unsteady as he used the last of his strength to continue twisting Chrollo's arm until it looked like nothing but a mutilated, bloodied mess.

Chrollo snarled and tried to push the redhead off of him but Hisoka pressed all his weight onto Chrollo's injured arm and held him down.

Chrollo's mind was disordered. Kurapika knew that Hisoka was still alive… How?

The cold rage in the doctor's eyes sent chills down the Chrollo's spine. Had he ever seen that much hatred in one person?

' _ **Kurapika…'**_ Came Hisoka's quiet encouragement.

Kurapika's eyes flicked over to his love then back down at Chrollo. He dug his nails in the wrist of Chrollo's detached limb. His knuckles were white and his arms trembled.

' _Smile, Honey. Your dad is going to take a picture! Are you smiling?'_

' _I'm smiling.'_

' _Okay, are you guys ready?'_

_His father banged his fist on the camera, activating the flash, and his mother cheered._

' _Yay! We're definitely keeping that one!'_

Kurapika closed his eyes and plunged the hand into Chrollo's skull.

Chrollo's head leaned back and he opened his mouth as blood sprayed out from around the mutated limb and poured into his pitch black hair.

He gurgled on his own blood and his eyes turned dark red as the veins inside of his brain burst from the puncture. Chrollo weakly turned his head and stared at the wall as his eyes swelled up and his mouth dribbled bubbly red blood. A cloudy mist muddled his once lively dark brown orbs and his body fell still.

Kurapika collapsed onto the ground and moaned in pain. He'd lost so much blood.

The little blonde shivered and curled into himself. He was so cold.

He felt two strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him against a warm body. He slowly turned around and smiled a weak smile.

' _ **Hisoka.'**_

Their blood pooled around their unmoving bodies and mixed together in a sea of red.

' **Kurapika…'** Hisoka's inner voice was low and weaker than usual. _**'I'm so sor-'**_

' _ **Shhh.'**_ Kurapika's arm was wrapped around Hisoka's neck and Hisoka's arms were tightly around the blonde's waist. They were shivering. _**'Hush, idiot.'**_ He pressed his forehead against Hisoka's bloodstained chest.

Hisoka buried his nose in Kurapika's messy blonde hair. The beautiful tangled heap still smelled sweet like honey and lemons. He placed a soft trembling kiss on Kurapika's forehead. _**'I love you.'**_

' _ **I…'**_ Kurapika's inner voice was fading and the world started to spin. He closed his eyes and let the darkness and warmth overcome him. _**'I love you too.'**_

Hisoka was following Kurapika into paradise as he too closed his eyes and let death embrace them both. At this moment, he was truly content.

As Kurapika felt himself slipping away, he tilted his chin up and pressed his lips to Hisoka's, smiling softly against them. ' _ **Hisoka…?'**_

' _ **Hm?'**_

' _ **Can you…tell me a story…'**_

Hisoka pulled Kurapika closer to him and shuddered a shallow breath. His lips were still lightly pressed on Kurapika's and his hand was tangled in a mess of long blonde hair.

He was happy. For the first time in his tortured, miserable life… he was truly, blissfully, happy.

'… _ **Once upon a time…'**_

The thunder outside rumbled and the rain beat against the hospital windows.

Kurapika's hair was like magically spun gold as it spilled over the sea of red and covered he and Hisoka like a silk blanket.

Hisoka's rough bloodied hands held onto Kurapika's cold unmoving body and their legs were intertwined.

Their breathing was shallow and fading, and the sweet angel of death calmly stood over them, watching as they slipped into unconsciousness.

Such is the love between a brilliant broken doctor, and a murderous tortured weapon…


	17. Our Beginning

Name: Pouf King

Age: 29

Sex: Male

Diagnosis: Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) - personality disorder characterized by a general pattern of concern with orderliness, perfectionism, excessive attention to details, mental and interpersonal control, and a need for control over one's environment.

Kurapika casually leaned back in his desk chair as he read over some of Pouf's old files. It seemed like it had been so long since he had talked to the King siblings. He remembered a time where his entire week was revolved around taking care of them. It felt good being presented with this kind of stuff again. It gave him a feeling of nostalgia. He smiled and continued reading.

Pouf bottles up his extremely passionate emotions until he explodes in a dangerous tantrum. He is very sensitive to music, namely the violin, and will sit for hours listening to it play. Pouf also has a habit of being slightly narcissistic but not so much that it hinders his abilities to-

"Hey, Pika!" Leo burst into the large office wearing his deep blue suit and a big toothy smile. He was practically glowing with excitement as his joyful aura filled the room. Why was this man always so bright? His natural kind heart sometimes drove Kurapika up the wall. Though, he had to admit, he did love the lanky doctor's presence after a stressful day. "What time is the-"

"7 o'clock." Kurapika interrupted. How many times was he going to be asked that today? Leorio was literally the 4th doctor to come bursting into his office and ask him that. Did everyone here suddenly get short term memory loss?

The thought of memory loss made Kurapika think of Hisoka, and a small smile played on his lips as he looked down at the picture of his boyfriend on his desk.

"Oh, excuse me, Bossman." Leorio teased as he crossed his arms and feigned hurt. "I didn't know that I was interrupting your session with Hisoka. Should I give you two some alone time?" He teased, lightly tapping the picture of the redhead that the blonde was currently smiling at.

Kurapika blushed and looked away from the Hisoka photo. "Oh shut up." He was still smiling.

"What are you planning to do if I don't? Fire me?"

Kurapika chuckled. "I'm considering it..."

"But then who would cover for you whenever you and Hisoka are in here fuc-"

"GET. OUT!" Kurapika yelled with a fierce blush on his cheeks. He threw a pen at the laughing brunette who closed the door behind him just before he could get assaulted.

Kurapika groaned and slumped in his chair. That was embarrassing. He didn't know that people even noticed Hisoka's daily visit to his office. The two were usually pretty quiet...for the most part… Either way, he'd have to tell Hisoka that they couldn't have sex at work anymore. Not that Hisoka would listen. He'd fuck Kurapika in the middle of the lobby if given the opportunity. And honestly, Kurapika would let him if he didn't have to uphold a certain standard for the hospital.

~A few months earlier~

Everything was dark.

A bunch of shrill sounds slammed into the blonde's skull and he groaned, turning his head away from the noise.

He heard the beeping of machines and the voices of people he didn't recognize.

"He's waking up. Hurry, someone go get Morel."

Kurapika groaned again, feeling a throbbing unbearable pain pulsate in his body.

Where was he…?

Where was…?

"H-Hisoka…" The little blonde mumbled as he blindly felt around for his love. Images of blood and tears filled his mind and Kurapika started to fear the worse. "…Hisoka…" He started to stir more at the absence of the redhead's presence.

"It's alright Dr. Kurta." Someone placed a gentle hand on Kurapika's chest. "Please, calm down."

Kurapika's breathing become short and he started to hyperventilate. All he could see was the memory of Chrollo shoving his hand through Hisoka's chest. He could practically feel the warmth of Hisoka's blood as it pooled around him and covered his skin.

Kurapika trembled.

"Shit." A voice hissed as the hands on his chest recoiled. "You're burning up."

Another voice beside his bed piped up. "Temperature is at 104 degrees. Where is Morel?" (A.N. That's 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I believe that equals somewhere around 40 degrees Celsius)

Kurapika pushed away the hands that tried to force him to lay down. He grabbed the railing of the bed, squeezing until his knuckles turned white, and his eyes shot open. He stared at the faces of many masked doctors and nurses. "Where's… Hisoka?" But no one answered him. Instead they all stared down at him in silence.

"His eyes…" Someone finally whispered.

As Kurapika's intensity grew, he was completely unaware that his eyes were glowing a bright scarlet red. It was such a beautiful color. One that was as stunning as it was frightening.

"Where's Hisoka?" Kurapika asked again. He tried to get out of bed and the movement made him groan in pain and frustration. Why weren't they answering him? What happened to Hisoka? "The redhead who was with me." He tried to explain. "Why isn't he here?"

' _ **Hisoka?'**_ He searched for their wavelength, feeling it there but it was weaker than usual. Hisoka wasn't answering him. That only enraged him further. What had they done to him?

He closed his eyes and saw, yet again, the image of Hisoka's blood pouring out of his chest.

"Move…" Kurapika said softly. He glared up the doctors with hatred in his heart. He did not trust them. After what he'd been through, he was unsure if he could ever trust anyone again. "I said, move!" He slammed his fist into the nearest doctor's jaw.

"Damn it." The doctor staggered back from the unexpected attack and held his injured face. One of the nurses called over her shoulder, "Could someone please hurry up and get Morel!"

"No need." Morel stepped inside the room and flashed Kurapika a big bright smile. The large silver haired man wasn't wearing scrubs like the rest of the doctor's in the room. In fact, he didn't look like a doctor at all. He was wearing tan slacks and a white striped button down. Despite being inside, he was also sporting some dark glasses. "Hello, Dr. Kurta. Man, it's a real honor to meet you." He spoke with his hands in his pockets. "My name is Morel Mackernasey."

Kurapika scowled. "I don't care." He moved to get out of bed and shot the large man a scarlet glare, daring him to try and stop him. "I'm leaving."

"Wait, please." Morel held up his hands in defense. "I know this is all very confusing but-"

"I'm not confused." Kurapika snapped. The brightness in his eyes sharpened as his glare deepened. "I know what you are. I can tell from your stupid government appointed shoes and dumb indoor sunglasses. You're investigating something. Probably my boss."

"Ah, not your boss anymore." Morel stated. "He's dead." He cleared his throat and tugged at his own shirt collar. "Could you, um… turn that off?" Indicating to Kurapika's intense new eye color that was making everyone a bit nervous.

Kurapika looked down at himself to see what Moral was talking about then looked back up at the man, eyes still glowing. He didn't understand, and right now he didn't care to. "Where is Hisoka?" He was feeling very anxious and the more anxious he became, the brighter his eyes would glow. "I want to see him. Why do I have to keep fuckin' saying that?" He was moving out of bed, growing more tired by the second.

"Right, you want to see your friend. I understand." Moral nodded. "But please, you shouldn't walk." He motioned for someone to grab a wheelchair. "With head injuries like yours, I'm surprised you're still alive. Who did that to you? Uvogin? Chrollo?"

Kurapika avoided looking at Morel when he got in the wheelchair. The memory of Hisoka slamming his head down onto the cold concrete ground made the blonde wince. He almost felt the redhead's warm tears as they fell from his face and landed on Kurapika's cheeks. "Chrollo..." He finally answered. "This is Chrollo's fault." As he said that his bloodied hair fell over his shoulder. The blood was dry and it made his hair stiff.

"Maybe we should let you shower first before we go to Hisoka?" Morel politely suggested.

Kurapika shot him a glare. "I'll shower with Hisoka." He snapped. "Take me to him now."

"Alright." Morel's face was flushed slightly from the brashness of Kurapika's shower comment and partly because of glowing intense glare still directed his way. "But please be careful. I see that they've already tended to your arm." He nodded towards Kurapika's cast. "But as I've said before, your head-"

Suddenly he was interrupted by the sound of a loud crash and nurses screaming down the hall.

Kurapika's eyes flashed from their normal brown then back to an excited red. "Hisoka!"

~Now~

The detective who handled the case, Morel, would call Kurapika pretty often and offer positive updates about all the arrests and charges that were brought down thanks to Kurapika. He wanted to keep the blonde in the loop, even though each time he called, Kurapika would refuse to be a part of it. He didn't need to know all the details. He just needed to know that it was over.

He looked up from his files again when he heard another person open his office door. It was Baise. "Hey Kurapika, what time is the-"

"7 o'clock." He groaned while rubbing his temples. Honestly, he called a meeting last week, TWICE about this. 7 p.m. Was it that hard to understand?

Seeing her boss's irritation, Baise quickly left him alone, making sure to close the door behind her as she departed.

After Chrollo's death, there was an obvious job opening in the mental institution as the new boss. Everyone kind of assumed the new person hired would be someone from the outside who had never worked there before. Kurapika certainly didn't think that he'd get the job nor did he care to even apply for it. But after all the attention he got from the news and all the interviews he'd receive as the "Prodigy Doctor Who Took out the Criminal Dean of Medicine" the board was desperate to prove to the public they had nothing to do with Chrollo's actions. Hence, hiring the "Hero" that was Kurapika.

But even though Kurapika was offered the job, he turned it down several times feeling as though taking the job of someone he killed was tasteless. It wasn't until Hisoka convinced him to do it, arguing that 'If anyone could be trusted to take care of the hospital and its patients, it'd be him.' Then adding something like, 'You know how stupid the board of medicine can be. Do you really trust them to hire someone qualified?' Oh and the favorite, 'Think of how proud your parents would be if you took over Chrollo's job and ran the hospital like it should have been run in the first place.'

Yeah… that last one definitely did it…

"Hey, Kurapika-"

"7 o'clock!" Kurapika yelled with his face in his hands. God, if he had to tell ONE more person-

"7 o'clock? As in you want me to bend you over your desk and fuck you senseless at 7 o'clock?" Hisoka grinned as he stepped inside the office. He had a horizontal scar that stretched across his face, crossing over his nose and (uninjured) eyes. Courtesy of Chrollo. "I think that's a perfect time. It's after everyone goes home. Then you can scream as loud as you want."

"Hisoka." Kurapika was blushing. He tilted his head upwards so the stupid redhead could kiss him 'hello'. Of course, Hisoka couldn't just give him a normal fucking kiss either. He placed one hand on the back of Kurapika's neck and the other one reach over to squeeze his thigh. Hisoka's soft tongue licked Kurapika's lips, begging for entrance, and the blonde gave it to him. Hisoka softly groaned as he tasted his sweet Kurapika's mouth and after he was satisfied, he pulled away.

Kurapika could feel a familiar stirring in-between his legs and he bit his bottom lip in frustration. Why did Hisoka always have to tease him? "You know we can't have sex in here anymore."

"Who said anything about sex? I'm only here for a security update." Hisoka grinned.

"Oh really?" The young doctor crossed his arms over his chest. "A security update." He knew the redhead was lying but decided to play along.

"Well yeah." Hisoka moved behind Kurapika's desk and then leaned back on it. He was playing with a few loose strands of hair that escaped Kurapika's messy bun. "I am the head of security after all." He paused for a few dramatic moments before saying, "Everything checks out."

The blonde scoffed, silently mocking the 'everything checks out'. Ever since Hisoka took Uvogin's job as head of security, he would pay the blonde an unnecessary visit to his office every day just to tell him that 'everything checks out'. Hisoka acted like he did this as an excuse to see Kurapika, which was… partly true, but the doctor knew it was really because Hisoka took his job very seriously. With Hisoka's enhanced senses he did the job really well too. He didn't need security cameras to know who and where someone was. He could tell from the sound of their heartbeat and sense of their aura. It was quite impressive. Though they still used the cameras, just so Kurapika's mind could be put at ease.

Although Kurapika was happy that Hisoka took his job seriously, some argued that he took it too seriously. Kurapika couldn't even count a number of times his doctors and nurses would barge into his office to angrily complain about Hisoka's annoying rules and safety regulations. Well… actually, he could. 76 was the number last week. Today was only Tuesday and the number was already at 28. But in Hisoka's defense, the hospital had never been safer. And given his background, it made sense that safety was so important to him.

The little blonde knew that Hisoka's intense desire for hospital safety was more for Kurapika's sake. Ever since their night with Chrollo, Hisoka was much more protective than he ever was before. It was a little annoying sometimes. Kurapika spent much too much of his time dragging away his practically demonic boyfriend whenever they ran into someone who Hisoka saw as a threat to the little doctor. For example, if they were out in public and someone recognized Kurapika's face from the paper and tried to congratulate him with a friendly pat on the back, Hisoka would step threateningly in between them and lowly say something like, 'Don't touch him.' In that dangerously sexy whisper of his.

Kurapika sighed just from the thought. It was quite tiresome after a while. Though, he really couldn't complain… He and Hisoka were a lot alike in that sense.

He recalled one time, not too long ago actually, Hisoka had stayed up all night because he swore that he heard a noise coming from the vent of Kurapika's office. The next morning, he was found napping at Kurapika's desk by one of the janitors. The poor old man innocently reached out to wake the sleeping redhead but was stopped by a dark presence looming behind him. It was Kurapika, who had come in early to check on his hardworking boyfriend. Had he not put on his color contacts that morning, his deep protective scarlet glare would have brightly shown like the eyes of a monster. 'Don't touch him…' He warned the handsy janitor.

So… needless to say. The neither boys had completely recovered from their deadly encounter with the old dean of medicine.

~A few months earlier~

There were two young nurses shuffling quietly around in the room. One had a nametag that said 'Bunny' and the other's said 'Kat.' "Wow, hey come look at this." Bunny pulled Kat closer to the unconscious redhead. "Look, look. We've barely wrapped up his stitches and he's already healing."

The shorter of the two shrugged and pulled away. "Morel said that he was a part of that big underground project." She pointed out. "And I heard that they gained special abilities after being tested on."

The first nurse kind of pouted as she looked over Hisoka's wounds. "Gosh, he's so lucky. I'm still getting over that papercut from this morning." And her comment earned an eye roll from her friend. "You know…" Bunny said more to herself than anyone else. "For an experiment, he's quite handsome." She reached out to brush her fingers over Hisoka's forehead.

Suddenly, his amber eyes shot open and Hisoka grabbed her wrist before she could make contact with his face. Both girls screamed and the noise sounded piercing to the redhead's poor sensitive ears. He looked quickly around the room, taking in his surroundings before carefully sitting up. "I don't like being touched." He warned before letting go.

The nurse rubbed her abused wrist and looked to her friend for help.

"Uh...!" The shorter nursed stepped beside the bed. "Hey, um, Hisoka? Yes, Hisoka." She was afraid, for very obvious reasons. He did almost break her coworker's hand after all. "Hello, my name is K-"

"I don't care." Hisoka jumped out of bed and stretched his arms over his head. His muscles still ached and he let out a soft groan.

"Hey, maybe you should-"

"Where's my doctor?" Hisoka interrupted for the second time.

The shorter nurse looked down at his chart as reread over his files. "Hmm… Dr. Baker. Yeah he's in with another patient right now but-"

"No." Hisoka cut her off again. "My doctor. Pretty. Blonde. Long hair. Male." He looked around the room as if expecting Kurapika to come out of hiding. Then suddenly he remembered again. The image of Uvogin punching Kurapika's skull and the thoughts of how he abused his poor love filled his brain. Hisoka winced. "Kurapika."

"Oh!" Her eyes widened in realization. "Him. Yes, I've been instructed not to let you see him until-"

"Move." He pushed the little nurse out the way and headed towards the door.

"Actually sir, it's locked." The other nurse from earlier said as she still cradled her wrist. "As my friend said, we can't let you leave until Morel-"

Hisoka grabbed the doorknob and pulled. The heavy wooden thing was ripped off its hinges and he threw it against the wall across the hall. The nurses screamed again and the sound made him rub his temples.

Then he heard Kurapika's lovely voice.

"Hisoka!"

Hisoka smiled and quickly ran through the hallway, following the sound of Kurapika's voice and trailing after their connection that he felt was still intact.

' _ **Kurapika.'**_

' _ **I'm here. I'm fine… I'm okay.'**_

He spotted Kurapika leaning weakly against a doorway next to a tall white haired man that Hisoka didn't care to pay attention to. There was a wheelchair behind the little blonde and Hisoka wondered if it hurt Kurapika to walk. He didn't heal as fast as Hisoka.

"Hisoka." Kurapika breathed out the named as Hisoka lifted him up in his arms and held him close to his heart. They embraced each other in a warm hug, forgetting about the world around them. Hisoka's muscular arms wrapped protectively around Kurapika's small waist and he pressed his lips on the skin of his love's neck. He could taste their blood on Kurapika and it made him hold on tighter, grateful that Kurapika was even alive to be held.

He planted grateful relieved kisses all over Kurapika's beautiful face and hugged the blonde's small dirty body.

"I was worried about you." Kurapika said against the redhead's soft lips.

"Hm." Was all Hisoka mumbled back. He felt whole again. Now that Kurapika was back in his arms he felt like he was finally pieced back together.

"Um…" Morel rubbed the back of his head. "I guess since Hisoka is here we can get started then?"

Hisoka ignored Morel and carefully placed Kurapika down in the bed. He laid next to his tiny blonde and snuggled him in the most pathetically affectionate way. He was shameless in his love for Kurapika.

"Unless you two want some time alone." Morel said with a half joking, half awkward smile.

"Yes." Hisoka mumbled against Kurapika's neck. It was the first thing he said to Morel since he entered the room.

"Actually." Kurapika gently pushed Hisoka away, feeling hot all over again. His eyes glowed a light scarlet and his body burned against the redhead's skin. "Hisoka is just a little excitable. Don't leave yet. I still have questions."

Hisoka tilted his head and eyed Kurapika's scarlet gaze. Since when could Kurapika do that? "Why are you doing that?" He trailed his nails over Kurapika jaw and kissed the side of his face. Kurapika's skin felt like fire, and his bright red eyes sent excited chills down the redhead's spine. "I like it."

Kurapika blushed and tried to push Hisoka's face away. "I'm trying to find out right now." He explained. "Morel has been following Chrollo's case a for a while and-" Kurapika squeaked when he felt Hisoka's hand move inside of his shirt.

"Maybe I should go." Morel looked away. Good thing he had his sunglasses on or it'd give away how embarrassed he felt watching such shameless fondling.

"You should." Hisoka mumbled as he bit Kurapika's shoulder.

"No!" Kurapika tried to sit up but was held down by a much stronger Hisoka. _**'Hisoka, stop!'**_

' _ **But I missed you.'**_ Hisoka thought back in a tone that was not argumentative but more factual. As if he was saying 'I missed you. What did you expect to happen?'

' _ **Then just hold me quietly or something, okay? You're being annoying. I'm going to move if you don't stop.'**_

That earned a small chuckle from the naughty redhead. _**'Go ahead and try~.'**_

"Well if you're sure." Morel interrupting their silent conversation. "I'll stay. Where should I even begin?" He grabbed the back of his neck and stared at the ceiling.

"Maybe you could tell me why my eyes are glowing?" Kurapika asked. He could feel that they were still glowing just as one could feel that they were blushing. It was like an unfamiliar warmth that wrapped around his head and sharpened his vision and focus.

"Oh. Right." Morel nodded, ignoring the possessive way that Hisoka pulled Kurapika closer to him. "That's a result of the serum you were given. Just like Hisoka's strength and enhanced hearing."

Kurapika bit his bottom lip when he felt Hisoka's hot tongue trail down the back of his neck. He silently prayed that Moral didn't notice. "The stuff I was given when I was a baby? Why would that suddenly make my eyes glow almost 20 years later?"

"Ahhh yes well, you see." Morel pushed his glasses up. "After you were wrongfully poisoned with that stuff, you were left alone. You never were 'pushed' so to speak, so you never discovered your true potential."

"My true…? Wait. Like Hisoka's training?"

"Right." Morel nodded. "Hisoka's training revealed that the serum gave him enhanced strength, hearing, and healing. But if he had never been trained so intensely, it could have been years before that was discovered." He paused for a moment, carefully eyeing the dangerous redhead weapon that was laying behind Kurapika, lovingly cuddling him. "His training is what made him the weapon that he is today."

Kurapika tensed up. "Don't call him that." He warned. He felt his insides boiling and his aura was hot with rage. "Don't call him a weapon."

Hisoka felt the anger coming from his love and he responded by nuzzling the blonde's cheek and mentally humming a soft song in their heads. He didn't want Kurapika to be angry right now. He wanted Kurapika happy and content. They were together. That's all that mattered right now.

Kurapika exhaled and his eyes glowed a softer, less intense red. "So…" He took a slow shaky breath as Hisoka's hands rubbed over his arms. "The fight with Chrollo… that was like… my training?"

Morel watched the two in curiosity, briefly wondering what kind of damage the couple could do in the world together if they really wanted to. "uh, yeah." He answered, while turning his head away. "Right. Exactly right. Your eyes glowing came from your fight. We believe that you have other abilities you've yet to unlock still and-"

"We?"

"Yes. My team and I." He nodded. "And we think that under some closely monitored training we could help you discover what else you can do."

Hisoka pulled away from his cuddling of Kurapika, for the first time showing interest in the conversation. "That's not going to happen."

"It's not going to be like how Chrollo trained you." Morel explained. "This will be under the surveillance of an elite security fo-"

Hisoka's voice was light, and careless, as if he was talking about doing something as simple as taking out the trash. "If you mention this again… I'll kill you."

Kurapika tensed when he felt Hisoka's defensive nails dig into his sides. He was beginning to feel that same murky bloodlust radiating off of the redhead that he felt while they were around Chrollo. "I think we should continue this conversation another time." Kurapika interrupted. "We're… pretty tired."

Morel eyed Hisoka, who was still watching him through his deadly amber eyes. "Right… okay that's a good idea." He mumbled. "I'll contact you guys in a few days then." He started to move out the door. "Please just try to get some rest."

~Now~

"So." Kurapika eyed the cheeky redhead standing above him. "You came in here to tell me that nothing was wrong."

Hisoka leaned over and traced his finger over the hem of the blonde's pants. "Among other things."

Kurapika felt his face heat up. "I told you, we can't have sex in here anymore." He breathed out as Hisoka started to unbutton his pants. "People know."

Hisoka chuckled and bent down so he was sitting on his knees in-between Kurapika's legs. "You're so precious." He teased.

"Hisoka…" Kurapika's fingers disappeared in a mound of soft red hair. Ahh… what the hell… It's not like anyone would know. He could be quiet if he tried, right?

Hisoka softly exhaled in happy satisfaction when he pulled out Kurapika's already hardened member. "You dirty little thing." He said sweetly as he kissed the tip. "It seems that the idea of people knowing excites you."

"S-shut the hell up." Kurapika hissed as he felt his boyfriend's warm lips over his most sensitive body part.

"You're too stressed." Hisoka whispered as he lightly flicked his tongue out. "Let me help my boss relax." Just as he was about to take in Kurapika's member, Hisoka tilted his head to the side when he heard the sound of footsteps coming closer.

Who was that? Beans? Yes, it was Beans. Beans and Leorio! How fun!

Hisoka quickly moved under the desk and then pulled Kurapika's chair closer to him so that he had better access to his boss's beautiful exposed dick.

"Hisoka?" Kurapika was trying to roll his chair back so he could look at his boyfriend. "What are you-"

"Kurapika~!" Leo burst in with Beans at his side.

Instantly Kurapika tensed up. He was red with embarrassment and anger. He immediately understood. Hisoka heard them coming and instead of getting up he decided to make Kurapika's life harder by moving under the desk. Bastard.

' _ **I'm going to fuckin' kill you.'**_ The blonde inwardly snarled.

Hisoka's voice had a small laugh in it. _**'Choke me to death~.'**_

Suddenly Hisoka's hot mouth wrapped around Kurapika's member and he slowly lowered until he felt his blonde's muscle touch the back of his throat.

Kurapika's breath hitched. He dug his nails in his desk and his teeth were clenched together. "W-what do you guys what?" He spoke slow and tense through his teeth.

Beans was a little nervous, mistaking Kurapika's tone for one of anger. "Well, I was just wondering if you finished reading Pouf's file. I needed to add updates."

Hisoka's tongue gently massaged the base of Kurapika's dick, and he lightly sucked, drawing out his boss's pre-cum.

Kurapika's fist slammed on his desk and he bit back an excited cry of pleasure. "Y-you needed to bring L-Leorio in with you to ask that?" He inwardly cursed Hisoka for playing with his kinks. _ **'Jackass!'**_ There were too many people in his office and it was driving him crazy. "I'm n-not done yet, okay?"

"Okay…" Beans said, embarrassed that he was making Kurapika so upset.

Leo spoke, "Could you tell Beans that it's 7 o'clock, TODAY and not tomorrow?" He glared at the short doctor standing next to him when he said that.

Hisoka slowly lowered his head and took in Kurapika's entire member, forcing himself not to gag over the excited twitching muscle. Kurapika shuddered when he felt his dick push against the back of Hisoka's throat and pushed his hips forward.

"Today." Kurapika lowered one hand to lightly scratched Hisoka's jawline. He softly pumped into his boyfriend's mouth and had to use all his willpower not to roll his eyes back.

"Thank you." Leo said, proud that he was correct and Beans was wrong.

Hisoka quietly growled from the light scratches Kurapika was giving him and he tilted his head closer to the blonde's touch, all while gently rubbing the leaking member in his mouth with his tongue.

This time, the rumbling from Hisoka's throat over Kurapika's dick did make him roll his eyes back, but he tried to play it off as an annoyed eye roll for Leo and Beans sake. "Ahh~ yes! Uh so… yes! you were right, now leave."

Of course, Leo still had more to say, "And does Hisoka-"

"I said leave!" Kurapika quickly interrupted, not wanting Leorio to talk about Hisoka. He knew that Leo wasn't aware of the redhead under the desk and he didn't want the lanky doctor saying anything he shouldn't.

And Hisoka heard this fear and it made him curious why Kurapika was so panicked at the thought of Leorio talking about him. What were they hiding? He stopped sucking and decided to ask. _ **'What was Leorio about to ask about me?'**_

But Kurapika didn't hear the question. He growled, angry that Hisoka had stopped what he was doing. He was so close and now the redhead was going put that on hold just so he could be nosey? No.

When Kurapika snapped at them to go, Beans left in fear of getting fired but Leorio only became concerned. "Kurapika are you okay?"

Kurapika roughly grabbed a fistful of red hair with one hand and then casually leaned forward on his free hand to assure Leo he was okay. He forced Hisoka's head back down over him and exhaled when he felt the familiar sensation of Hisoka's tongue massaging his dick.

"I'm fine Leorio." Kurapika breathed out, careful to sound calm and collected. "But you should go because I- mhm… have a lot of work to do, okay?"

Hisoka bobbed his head a little faster and Kurapika's grip on his hair tightened. The redhead got an excited shudder at the thought of how well he was pleasing his boss. Hisoka almost groaned when Kurapika's warm pre-cum started leaking down the back of his throat. He swallowed it up greedily and rubbed his tongue over the hard member even faster as he tried to drink more of Kurapika's sweet juices.

Leo shrugged. "Okay. Well, I'll see you later toni-"

"Goodbye, Leorio!" Kurapika interrupted.

Leorio froze for a moment then a sly smile spread over his face. "Ahhh, okay. I see. Well catch ya later, Pika. Bye Hisoka!" He laughed over his shoulder.

"Hm? 'ye 'eorio!" Hisoka said with his mouth full.

When he heard Leo close the door behind him the inquisitive redhead finally pulled away and spoke out loud to his boss.

"What's happening at 7?" He pushed Kurapika back so he could look into his boyfriend's eyes.

Which… might have been a mistake.

The young doctor's eyes were glowing a bright scarlet. His expression was dark and fiercely aroused. He looked like an animal ready to devour his prey. Kurapika roughly grabbed Hisoka's hair again and pulled the redhead into a rough passionate kiss. Hisoka's eyes rolled back as he felt Kurapika's teeth bite his bottom lip. A growl rumbled in the back of his throat from the harsh treatment coming from his boss.

The smaller male reached down and gently stroked Hisoka's hardened member from outside his pants. Hisoka pushed into the welcoming touch while wrapping his muscled arms around his boss's waist.

Then suddenly, Kurapika pulled away from Hisoka which earned him a disappointed whine from his aroused redhead. But the doctor didn't care. Now they were both teased and aroused. Kurapika more than Hisoka still, but at least now Hisoka would be a little frustrated.

"I told you. No sex at work." Kurapika warned.

Hisoka sat higher on his knees so he was eye level with Kurapika. He arrogantly licked his lips and eyed Kurapika hungrily. "Is it sex if I just suck your dick?"

The redhead's words sent chills down Kurapika's spine. He hated that Hisoka always had this effect on him. He felt himself throbbing in anticipation and Hisoka's cocky eyes could very well see how badly Kurapika wanted him.

Kurapika leaned forward so he could whisper in his boyfriend's ear. "If I let you do that, will you let me cum in your mouth?"

The blonde smiled when he heard Hisoka's excited breath hitch. He shoved his hand down the front of the redhead's pants and grabbed his throbbing dick.

"I want to cum down the back of your throat, Hisoka." Kurapika practically whined "Can I? Can I please cum, Hisoka…?" His voice was a whisper. He trailed his tongue over Hisoka's jaw as he started to pump his hand over the redhead's twitching member.

Hisoka exhaled and moved into Kurapika's exploring hand. He was still sitting on his knees as he clutched the sides of Kurapika's chair.

"I want you to fuck me." Kurapika bit Hisoka's neck and grinned when he felt the redhead shudder. "Bend me over the desk and fuck me so hard the entire hospital hears me scream your name."

Hisoka groaned. Kurapika rubbed his thumb over the tip of Hisoka's leaking dick as the little blonde whined out his boyfriend's name.

"Hisoka~"

And Hisoka arched into the touch. He dug his nails into the chair almost sent over the edge from Kurapika's arousing whimpers.

And just like that Kurapika stopped. He pulled away, leaving Hisoka so turned on that it hurt, then he put his exposed dick away before Hisoka got any funny ideas.

Hisoka's mouth was slightly open in shock and frustration. "Kurapika!" He growled. How dare Kurapika tease him like this?!

But Kurapika ignored him. He picked up his phone to make a call.

Hisoka watched in shock. Did Kurapika forget who he was messing with? Was he going insane?

"Yes hello." Kurapika spoke cheerfully as he swiveled his chair away from Hisoka. "This is Doctor Kurta from the Infinity Mental Institution. Yes, yes. I'm returning a call from-" Hisoka pressed his finger over the receiver. "Hey!" Kurapika scolded. "I was on the phone!"

Kurapika was about to dial again but was stopped by two strong arms roughly grabbing him and pulling him out his seat.

"Hisoka, I told you no more sex at work." Kurapika tried to argue against his own arousal. Hisoka laid Kurapika down on his desk and took his mouth in a passionate kiss.

Kurapika moaned into his boyfriend's lips as he grabbed him by the hair and pulled him closer. He felt Hisoka's arousal pressing against his own and they both rubbed their hips into each other's.

Maybe one more time wouldn't hurt…

Dr. Wing opened the door. "Dr. Kurta. What time is the-"

"7 O'CLOCK!" Both Hisoka and Kurapika yelled. Dr. Wing quickly closed the door behind him and scurried off to leave the two lovers alone.

Hisoka turned his attention back to his sweet angel and he brushed a few stray pieces of blonde hair away from his forehead. "I love you, Kurapika." He wrapped his arms around Kurapika's waist and kissed the nape of his neck. The doctor's slender arms coiled around the redhead's broad shoulders and he tilted his head back. He could feel the need in Hisoka's movement as the redhead undressed them from the waist down and then pressed his exposed leaking dick on the rim of the blonde's ass.

"I love you t- Ahh~" He cried out when he felt Hisoka enter him without warning. He large member was coated in slick, clear pre-cum and it made entering Kurapika fairly easy.

They rocked into each other's bodies, licking and biting as they moved. Kurapika's hands scratched over Hisoka's back leaving light red marks. Hisoka's teeth sunk into Kurapika's shoulder, marking him for the world to see.

They met in a kiss, moaning into each other's mouths as they felt themselves about to burst. Hisoka reached down and stroked Kurapika off and the little male whimpered under the loving touch. "Hisoka~!"

Hisoka felt Kurapika's member twitch in his hand as the doctor's cum spurted against his palm. The redhead groaned and leaned down over his boyfriend as he shuddered and filled the inside of Kurapika. Their minds connected and their wavelength made them one as the came into each other's arms. It was beautiful and intense each time they made love.

They were panting, laying on the desk and lovingly holding each other. Hisoka managed to pull off his security jacket and cover their exposed lower halves with it. He kissed Kurapika's forehead and pulled the blonde even closer to his chest.

"I love you." Kurapika tiredly mumbled, with his lips pressed against Hisoka's shirt.

Hisoka smiled. "I love you too." His finger gently traced up Kurapika's elegant spine. "What's happening at 7?" He suddenly asked

Kurapika groaned and stressfully covered his eyes with his hand. Of course, Hisoka would bring this up now. "Nothing." He answered. "Just work stuff."

"Work stuff?"

He sighed. "Yeah, work stuff."

"Oh really? Like what?"

"A meeting." Kurapika quickly answered.

Hisoka raised a brow. "At 7? The work day ends at 5. Why wouldn't the meeting be then?"

"Because it'll be quieter at 7."

Hisoka propped up on his elbow. "Kurapika…" _**'I know you're lying.'**_

Kurapika shrugged and buried his face in Hisoka's shirt. He was frustrated, feeling that his plans were going to be ruined just because his employees couldn't keep their mouths shut. _**'Just drop it, okay?'**_

Hisoka leaned down kissed his forehead again. "Alright." He said, deciding not to stress out his boyfriend any further. "I love you~." He was saying that a lot today.

"I know you do." Kurapika smiled, grateful that Hisoka let it go. "But we should get dressed now. We both have jobs, you know." He slowly pushed himself off the desk, struggling not to fall to his knees on the floor. His legs were still weak from their lovemaking.

Hisoka got up and snaked a strong arm around the blonde before he could fall. "Careful." He warned.

Kurapika closed his eyes in contentment when Hisoka placed a loving kiss on his neck.

_Kurapika tilted his head up brushed his lips softly over Hisoka's. His voice was nothing but a quiet whisper as he spoke against the mouth of the crying redhead. He whispered those words. Those words that completed him. And as he muttered them, he felt like his heart was shattered and then put back together around Hisoka's._

' _I love you…Hisoka.'_

The memory sent chills down Kurapika's spine. That day was life changing for them both. It was freeing and it gave them a peace they never had before…

But they still had their issues…

Hisoka certainly still had his moments. There were times where he'd wake up from a terrible nightmare and completely forget who he was. He'd be tense and act as if he was waiting for something. As if waiting for some sort of pain or heartbreak. Waiting for any sudden threat, or reason to kill again. Just waiting for something to go wrong. For something to take away everything that he had come to love.

And as for Kurapika, despite regaining some type of closure, he still dealt with his PSTD. His attacks happened when he was too stressed or overly emotional. He'd see his parents as smiling happy doctors, then they would morph into the bloody dripping corpses that he remembered them as. Sometimes it was really bad and he'd be lost in a string of nightmarish hallucinations, and other times, it would just be the dull headache of their voices screaming in his mind.

Life was still life, even after the ending of Chrollo's chapter. Pain was still pain and death was still death. They were not fixed once the cause of their suffering was gone. Chrollo left a mark onto who they were, like a footprint in the sand or better still, a claw mark over their hearts.

Hisoka gave Kurapika a quick kiss on the cheek then he slipped on his jacket. "See you after work then?"

"Hm?'" Kurapika looked up at his departing boyfriend. "Obviously." He playfully rolled his eyes. "We live together. I'm sure we'll see each other after work."

They moved in together the second they were released from the hospital. It wasn't something they discussed or thought about. It was simply something they did. Where else would Hisoka go if not into the home of the person he loved? Oh, speaking of things that are loved. Kurapika finally bought himself a replacement car. Yes, after a year of taking the bus, he had the sense of mind to replace the car he crashed.

"I love you." Kurapika smiled. He was also saying that a lot today.

Hisoka kissed him. "I love you too."

They said their goodbyes and as soon as Hisoka left, Kurapika locked the door behind him and sat back down at his desk. Thankful that Hisoka had helped him clean up their mess before he left.

The doctor opened up his laptop and sent out a group email. He couldn't very well do it at 7 now with Hisoka sniffing around.

The email read as such:

_Attention everyone!_

_Thanks to your incompetence to remember a simple date and time, I have to reschedule. It will no longer be at 7 o'clock, now it is at 5. You all have my permission to leave work half an hour early so you can make it on time._

_Leorio,_

_I want you to leave an hour early. Use the spare key Hisoka gave you to set everything up. It is greatly appreciated._

_I would like to once again thank you all for your incompetence. Now I will not be able to double check everything before it starts._

_Signed_

_Your not too delighted boss,_

_Kurapika Kurta_

~.^

Kurapika's silver car seemed to glow under the setting sun as he pulled up into the driveway. Hisoka was unusually quiet the entire ride home and Kurapika could sense that he was purposely being closed off. For a moment, Kurapika thought that maybe Hisoka found out about what he was doing and was angry with him.

That made the doctor worry about everything even more. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe he should have gone with his first instinct. Maybe-

"I have something for you." Hisoka suddenly said before Kurapika had a chance to freak himself out even more.

Kurapika didn't expect that. "What?"

The redhead shifted in his seat so he was looking at his boss. "I said I have something for you."

Kurapika bit his bottom lip. "You have something for me…"

He watched as Hisoka reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and folded. He carefully unfolded the little thing, treating it as preciously as he would a valuable piece of treasure. "Did you know…" Hisoka eyed the paper in his hand, inspecting it for any rips or flaws. "That we met exactly 1 year ago, today?" He asked.

Kurapika pretended to be surprised. "Oh. Did we?"

Hisoka nodded. "It took me a long time to find this. I had to ask Morel for help but…"

"You asked Morel? You hate Morel." Kurapika stifled a giggle, trying to think of how Hisoka went about asking Morel for anything.

"I don't hate him." The redhead corrected. "I just don't like him being alive. There's a difference." He and Morel had never really seen eye to eye. Especially since the detective kept pushing for Kurapika to start government training.

Kurapika sat up straighter to peek at what Hisoka was holding. "So… what is that?" He tilted his head to the side in confusion as Hisoka handed him the paper. When he touched it, he realized it was a photo of something. He carefully flipped it over and placed his hand softly over his fast beating heart. "My parents…" When they were still doctors. Happily holding baby Kurapika in their arms and smiling back at the camera. "Where did you…?"

"Morel." Hisoka gently tapped Kurapika's nose, reminding the blonde of his source. "You should thank him."

"I'd rather thank you." Kurapika reached up lovingly cupped the redhead's cheek.

Hisoka grabbed Kurapika's wrist and pulled him into a deep kiss. It was passionate and needy. Filled with love and dedication.

When Kurapika pulled away, he had a small stain of red on his cheeks. "We…um… should go inside now."

Hisoka leaned back in his seat and sighed. His arms were crossed over his chest. "I'd rather we didn't."

"Why?"

"Well…" Hisoka tried to say this nicely. He didn't want to hurt his love's feelings. "I don't like parties."

Kurapika's eyes widened in shock. "You knew?" Though a part of him was glad Hisoka knew about it and didn't want to go in. Kurapika hated crowds and he hated parties. But Leo and Baise thought a party would be the perfect thing to celebrate Hisoka's year with them.

"Well, I knew as soon as we pulled up." Hisoka nodded towards their front door. "I can hear them. As of right now, Leorio is currently telling everyone that we're here and wondering why we haven't gotten out the car yet."

Kurapika blushed. Of course... He should've known Hisoka would hear them.

"I didn't think you'd remember." Hisoka said.

"What?" Kurapika looked a little insulted. "You didn't think I'd remember? Of course, I remembered. I didn't think _you'd_ remember and then you go and you get me…!" He looked down at the picture in his hands in unexplained happiness. "Fuck you, Hisoka…" This was the most perfect gift Hisoka could have ever given him.

"I love you too, Kurapika."

"I never said I loved you."

"You never say you didn't." Hisoka answered as he lovingly twirled the doctor's blonde hair in his fingers. "You know~ I'd be more appreciative if I thought this party was your idea."

Kurapika sighed and leaned against his boyfriend's shoulder. "It wasn't."

Hisoka rested his head on top of Kurapika's and they both gazed down at the picture in the blonde's hands. "What was your idea then?"

"It's stupid." Kurapika mumbled. And he truly thought it was. Compared to what Hisoka gave him, nothing would be good enough.

"Tell me." Hisoka gently pried.

Kurapika exhaled and closed his eyes. "Well…" His idea was a such a letdown. It wasn't flashy like Leo's and Baise's or heartfelt like Hisoka's. It was, however, genuine. It was something that was one hundred percent sincere and loving. "What I really wanted to do tonight was just… drive to the beach and, you know…walk."

Hisoka smiled. He loved that idea. It meant freedom and beauty. It meant love and warmth. He spent his entire life locked in a cage and even when he thought he broke free, he still spent all his time locked in the mental institution. He definitely did not like anything that had to do with crowds or cramped spaces. Kurapika knew exactly what Hisoka liked. Not parties or expensive gifts. Not loud music or excited coworkers. No, nothing like that. What Hisoka loved more than anything in the world was his freedom… and his Kurapika.

"Okay. Let's go." Hisoka kissed the top of Kurapika's head and then leaned back in his seat.

"Really?" Kurapika was surprised. Hisoka liked his idea. "You really want to do that?"

"Yes, really." The redhead nodded.

The smiling doctor sat up straight at looked toward the house. "But what about the party?" Should he go inside and tell them that they could all go home?

"Let them enjoy themselves." Hisoka chuckled. "I'm sure they put in a lot of work to make it a good party."

Kurapika smiled. He could always just call them once he and Hisoka reached the beach.

…If he remembered.

He put the picture of his parents in the top corner of the front window. Jin, Suzuka, and baby Kurapika, all smiled down at him with happy glints in their eyes.

"I love you." Kurapika whispered as he trailed his finger over their faces.

And Hisoka kissed him.


End file.
